Bad For Me (8 page)

Chapter 14

“Do you want to go out again tomorrow night?” Mike asked when I served him breakfast in the cafe the next morning. After the previous night, I hadn't been sure if I'd see him again.

“I don't think so.”

“We had a good time last night, didn’t we?”

It was true—I had enjoyed the evening right up to the point where he’d asked me back to his B&B.

“Come on Megan. You can choose what we do.”

I knew that at some point, I’d have to start to trust again.

“Okay then.”

“Great. I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow night.”

“I see your boyfriend is in again,” Marge said.

“He's asked me out again—tomorrow night.”

“He's keen.”

By two o' clock the lunchtime rush was over. It was my day to finish early, so after I'd helped clear the tables, I met up with Jennie in the Fiddler—a small pub on the square. We always paid for our own drinks—I only ever drank coke or fruit juice; Jennie preferred a real drink.

“How was your date with what’s-his-name?” Jennie said

“Mike. It was okay.”

“Just okay? No mind-blowing sex then?”

“He did kiss me.”

“Whoa. Steady on.”

“I'm seeing him again on Sunday night.”

“Good for you. Look, don't take any notice of me. All I ever do is pick losers.”

“Oh god!” I couldn't believe my eyes.

“What's wrong?” Megan? Are you okay?”

“Sorry. I have to go.”

“Megan?” I heard Jennie call after me.

I wasn't sure. Maybe my eyes had been playing tricks. I crossed the road to where I'd seen her. Or at least where I thought I'd seen her. I turned through three hundred and sixty degrees. She was nowhere to be seen. Maybe I'd imagined it. I must have imagined it.

“Megan?”

My heart rate was off the scale even before I’d turned around.

“JJ?”

“You look great,” he said.

“What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. Julie's here.”

While I'd been chatting to Jennie, I'd caught a glimpse of Julie.  At least I'd thought it was her. I'd been so busy looking for Julie that I hadn't noticed JJ until he spoke to me.

“You shouldn't have come here.”

“Megs!” Julie threw her arms around me. I instinctively did the same. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

********************

I could hardly send them away after they’d driven so far, but I didn't want to take them back to my flat because that would have invited questions from Marge. If I was perfectly honest, I didn't want them to know where I was living. I took them to the only other coffee shop in Cromdale.

“There you go.”

JJ handed out the coffee.

“How did you find me?”

“We saw you on a photo.”

“What photo?”

“A wedding reception. One of the women in the office—Natalie—was there. It was her cousin's wedding.”

I'd never met Natalie at DraxSoft, so I hadn't recognised her at the wedding.

“Why did you come all of this way?”

“Why do you think? To see you, of course. To make sure you were okay,” JJ said.

“After the way you walked out, we were worried.” I could hear a twinge of anger in Julie's voice.

“I shouldn't have left the way I did. I should have told you, or at least left a note. I'm sorry.”

“That doesn't matter now,” JJ said. “You're okay. That's all that matters. You're looking much better.”

“I'm doing okay.”

“Where are you living?”

“I've got a small flat.”

“Are you working?”

“Just bits and bobs when I can. Have you seen anything of Billy?”

They both shook their heads.

“Aren't you in touch with him?” Julie asked.

“I've not spoken to anyone back home since I left.”

When I’d first moved to Cromdale, I used to look over my shoulder all of the time. I'd been convinced that someone would come looking for me. It was weeks before I'd begun to relax. I'd assumed, by now, that everyone would've forgotten about me, and that they would've moved on with their own lives. I wished they had.

“Come back with us,” JJ said.

I noticed the glance Julie gave him; she obviously hadn't been expecting him to say that.

“I can't.”

“Of course you can.”

“It's too late.”

JJ put his hand on mine.

“I'm sorry for what I did,” he said.

“You didn't do anything. There’s nothing to apologise for.”

“I should never have persuaded you to come out with me when your mother was so poorly.”

“That wasn't your fault. I know I said it was, but I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry I said the things I did.”

“It doesn't matter. None of that matters now. Pack your things, and come back with us.”

“I can't.”

“Why not?”

“I'm seeing someone.”

It was a crazy thing to say. I'd been out with Mike once. That hardly qualified as 'seeing someone'. I couldn't think of what else I could say which would persuade JJ to leave me alone. When I saw the look on his face—I felt just terrible. Before I'd run away, I hadn't been sure if JJ was being sincere about his feelings. I'd assumed that he would've forgotten all about me within a few weeks or even days of my leaving.  After I'd mentioned Mike, JJ barely said another word. He didn’t appear to be mad; I think he was hurt. That hadn't been my intention, but what else could I have done?

When it came time for them to leave, Julie said they would visit again soon, but JJ didn't say anything.

“Someone's been looking for you,” Marge said, as I made my way through the cafe.

“They found me.”

“They? I only saw one young man—James.”

“JJ. Everyone calls him JJ. He was here with his sister Julie. She was my flatmate.”

“Where are they now?”

“They've gone back home.”

“They didn't stay long.”

I shrugged.

Chapter 15

By the time evening came, I was feeling stir crazy. Mike was working. I needed something to lift my spirits, so I decided to give Jennie a call.

“What happened to you earlier?” she said.

“I'm sorry. It's complicated.” I'd totally forgotten that I’d been with her when I'd spotted Julie.

“I wondered what was going on when you got up and walked out.”

“I really am sorry. Look, I'm bored out of my mind. Do you want to come over?”

“Why don't you come to mine?”

“Okay. Do you fancy pizza?”

I'd hoped she would suggest meeting at her place. My flat was poky, and I'd seen enough of those four walls for one day.

“You left without telling anyone?”

I'd just told Jennie about my life before Cromdale. Now that JJ and Julie had found me, there was no reason to keep it secret.

“Yeah.”

“Without a word?”

“Yeah—pretty much.”

“And they tracked you through the wedding photo?”

“Apparently.”

“So, Julie was your flatmate. But what about this JJ guy?”

“He's Julie's brother.”

“And?” She prodded.

“And what?”

“Come on Megan. It's obvious, even to me, that he was more than just that.”

“When I first met him, I hated him— I thought he was a complete arsehole.  When I got to know him better...”

“Yes?”

“Nothing happened. I think he wanted it to, but I was too busy worrying about Mum. It just wasn't meant to be.”

“So you're telling me you don't feel anything for him?”

“That’s right.”

“Honestly?” She didn't sound convinced.

“No. I don't know. Maybe if Mum hadn't been ill. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. It's all in the past.”

“He came looking for you.”

“So?”

“He wouldn’t have done that if he didn't still have feelings for you.”

“It's all academic now. I told him about Mike.”

“Mike? You've only been out with him once. What's he got to do with anything?”

“I couldn't think how else I could get JJ to leave without me. I made out that me and Mike were an item. “

“How did JJ take it?”

“He didn't say much after I'd told him.”

“God, Megan—you most likely crushed the poor guy.”

“JJ's tough. He's probably been out with a dozen other women since I left.”

“And you really believe that.”

“Yeah,” I lied.

The route from Jennie's place to the cafe took me past Mike's B&B. I'd just turned the corner when I spotted him—maybe he hadn't had to work after all. I was about to call to him when I realised he wasn't alone. I didn't recognise the woman. The two of them disappeared into the B&B.

********************

I was back at my flat—pacing the room. I didn't know what to do. Mike had told me he would be working. Why had he lied to me? I could think of a dozen reasons, and none of them were good. I picked up the phone five or six times—I even selected his number once, but I didn't press the 'call' button. I was too afraid of what I might discover.

I don't remember falling to sleep. When I woke the next morning, I was still wearing the clothes I’d been out in the night before.  The last thing I wanted to do was a shift in the shop, but I was due downstairs in less than forty minutes. I wanted to tell Marge I was ill, but she knew me too well. She would never buy it.

“How's Megan this morning?” Marge was bright and breezy, as usual.

“All right.”

“That good, eh? Are you sure?”

“I'm fine.”

“You don't sound it. Your boyfriend's here. He'll cheer you up.”

Mike flashed his usual good-morning smile. I couldn't look him in the eye.

“Are you okay?” he said after I'd banged the plate down in front of him.

“Fine.” I turned away.

“Megan?”

“What?”

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Eat your breakfast.”

He stood up, grabbed my hand, and led me out of the cafe.

“What's wrong?”

“How was work last night?”

“What?”

“You heard me. How was work?”

“I only did a half shift.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Chloe, my sister, rang me to say she was coming over.”

“Sister?”

“She's having problems with her husband. He's a complete idiot.”

“You've never mentioned a sister.”

“Why would I?”

I studied his face. Was he lying? I had no idea.

“I saw you go into the B&B with a woman.”

“That was Chloe. She was in a right state—I had to leave work early to meet her.”

“What has her husband done?”

“He's having an affair. Another one.”

“Is she staying in Cromdale?”

“Christ, no! She has a friend who is going to put her up. I wouldn't lie to you, Megan.”

“I'm sorry,” I said. “I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

“Hey, it's okay. It must have looked suspicious. I'm sorry you've been upset. I should have mentioned Chloe.”

He leaned forward and kissed me.

“Any chance of you doing any work this morning?” Marge poked her head around the door.

“Sorry, Marge,” Mike said. “It's my fault.”

I went back to work, but my mind was all over the place.

“What's wrong Megan?” Marge had marched me into the back during a quiet spell.

“I'm sorry.”

“What's going on with you and Mike?”

“Nothing. It's my fault. I saw him with a woman last night, and jumped to the wrong conclusion.

“Another woman?”

“It was his sister. She's having problems with her husband.”

“Are you sure it was his sister?”

“Yeah. I just overreacted. I'm seeing him tonight.”

“Okay. Just focus on the job.”

“I will—sorry.”

********************

I'd agreed to meet Mike outside his B&B. I was nervous because I suspected he would ask me to go to his room again. Maybe it was the right time. Maybe he was the right one. I wanted to feel needed. I wanted to feel loved.

“Megan! Wait!” Marge caught me on my way out of the flat. “He's married!”

“What?”

“Mike. He’s married.”

I was stunned; I didn’t know what to say. Marge led me back upstairs to her room.

“The B&B owner is a friend of mine. That story about Mike's sister sounded dodgy, so I got her to give me his address and phone number.”

“Is she allowed to do that?”

“No, but I can be very persuasive. I called his home number, and spoke to his wife. Chloe. He's got a baby girl—six months old.”

“The bastard!” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. “I nearly... ”

“Don't worry about it. You wouldn't be the first woman to fall for a man's lies.”

“Thanks, Marge.”