Before Ryan Was Mine (The Remembrance Trilogy - Prequel) (3 page)

“Uh huh. Bye, Ryan.” She waved awkwardly and started off toward the library.

I turned in the opposite direction, took three steps and stopped. “Hey, Julia,” I called over the others walking between us. “If you can wait an hour for lunch, I’ll be in the Student Union snack bar.”

A brilliant smile flashed, and I waited, knowing I would have to run to my class now. Something wouldn’t let me leave without knowing I’d see her later.

“Sounds good.”

My heart sped up, and the silly smile returned and didn’t budge the whole time I ran across campus. Anticipation made my heart race more than the exercise. This was stupid. I met girls all the time and most of the time I couldn’t give a shit. There were always more girls to meet, and a missed opportunity usually wasn’t a big deal. Julia was a big deal to the point I couldn’t wait for this hour to get out of the fucking way. I burst through the door to my class and breathlessly found a seat at the back, flopping down quickly amid glances from the others around me. Yeah… this girl was gonna be important.

Wow. Just wow.

My face hurt from smiling, and dang if the book in front of me could hold my attention. It didn’t help that this shit was boring as hell; it was made worse because my mind was full of the guy I’d just met in the class. He was like a magnet—too gorgeous not to notice, and I’d seen him take the seat behind me right before that blonde girl started talking to him. My heart had plummeted, thinking she’d mean I’d miss any chance of meeting him myself, and I’d have to resort to the high school tactics of trying to sit near him for the next class. The only problem was, the auditorium was huge and chances were good I’d never find him. Which was why it was so great when he’d taken it upon himself to butt into my conversation with Ellie.

I saw Ellie checking him out, too. Who wouldn’t? Tall, easily over six feet, built, golden skin and sun-kissed hair, brilliant, dark blue eyes, and that
face
. There were no words for that face. Strong jaw, killer dimples, bright white smile, straight nose, and that tiny cleft in his chin. Beautiful couldn’t cut it. And, to top it all off, he was nice. I mean,
really
nice. Even though he’d been checking me out, for the first time in a long time, I felt like a guy was really interested in what I had to say.
Matthews
. Ryan
Matthews
. Matthews with an “M.” On my ass. I laughed softly to myself, pleasure shooting through me like fireworks. Sure, the sweet persona could be a ruse to suck in unsuspecting victims. I’d seen that crap often enough, but something inside me told me he was different. I intensely hoped he was.

I glanced at the clock again and gave up trying to read the textbook in front of me, flipping it shut and unzipping my black backpack to slide it inside. I still had fifteen minutes until I was supposed to meet Ryan, and I felt a little nervous. He was so pretty; surely, there were a bevy of women vying for his attention. What if he didn’t show up? My stomach dropped before I could stop it, but I hoisted the heavy bag of books over my right shoulder and slowly made my way toward the Student Union. I didn’t want to get there too early and look like an anxious jerk standing around waiting. I didn’t want to order lunch without him. Ugh. I was overthinking this way too much. It was crazy, but something about him was unnerving and comforting at the same time. He seemed really genuine, so I didn’t know why I was acting so ridiculous. Maybe it was the way every woman who came near him stared.

I found the bathroom and made my way inside; weaving in and around all of the women coming out, all with book bags made for a tight fit. My eyes widened as I took stock of my reflection in the wall-to-wall mirrors over the sinks, and quickly dug out the hairbrush and lip-gloss I kept in the front pocket of the backpack. Normally, I wasn’t one to retouch; I reapplied a light glaze of the gloss on my lips and smoothed my hair slightly. I didn’t want to appear overly anxious to Ryan and I chastised myself as I made this small deviation from my usual routine. I replaced the items in my bag and smoothed the dark denim over my thighs.

When I left the bathroom, I stopped to scan the snack bar. It was nice, set up like a restaurant with wooden booths and several tables with chairs. Ryan hadn’t said exactly where inside I was supposed to meet him and my eyes scanned the room. No sign of him yet, but the Student Union was large and there were a lot of students walking through, hovering around tables, and at the end of a few of the booths. I felt self-conscious; walking around like a moron, looking into booths and glancing around like I was lost. Many sets of curious eyes met mine while I wandered around seeking the striking blue gaze of the man I met two hours earlier.

I caught sight of him quickly pushing in the front entrance doors, his eyes scanning the room. He didn’t see me right away but was rapidly set upon by a group of students: a dark-haired man and two women—one with long blonde hair and one with cropped red locks. I was anxious and my feet wanted to move toward him, but I hesitated as I watched the group engage him. His gorgeous face split into a grin and he nodded, the blonde’s hand coming out to wrap around his bare forearm. He was wearing jeans and a long sleeved white T-shirt, the cuffs shoved up to show strong muscle and golden skin beneath her fingers, the blue and green plaid shirt he wore over it, hung open. He looked hot; the layers doing nothing to disguise the hard planes of his chest and stomach underneath the fine, close-fitting cotton material, nor the broad shoulders. The two women gazed at him in dazzled silence, and I wondered if Ryan was even aware of it, though it was quite obvious to the rest of the world. It was sort of silly, and I made a mental note not to allow myself to act like an idiot around him. I took slow steps toward him to make sure he saw me, not wanting to interrupt the conversation with his friends.

He bent slightly to listen to something the woman touching him said, but his eyes continued their search for me. My heart stopped when his gaze finally landed on mine, and his lips lifted in the start of a small smile. He was so breathtakingly handsome. This was a chance just to look at him. He put up his hand and spoke to the group around him. Excusing himself, he walked toward me with his backpack slung over his right shoulder. The two girls turned to watch him walk away, disappointment and curiosity in their eyes as they looked me over thoroughly.

“Hey.” His soft voice washed over me warmly as he flashed a quick smile.

He was several inches taller than me, and I had to look up into his face. I wanted to bite my lip, hardly able to contain the grin that was trying to break out across my mouth. “Hey,” I returned. “How was class?”

“Boring as hell. I can’t wait until all of this basic shit is out of the way. Want to find a place to sit, and then I can get us something to eat?”

“Yeah. Did you want to invite your friends to join us?”

Ryan smiled again and shook his head. “Nah.”

He motioned toward an empty booth in the corner and I preceded him to it, flung my backpack in, and shoved it closer to the wall as I slid in. Ryan did the same across from me. I watched him run a hand through his hair.

“Did you get the psych assignment read?” he asked.

“Ugh,” I rolled my eyes, and Ryan chuckled. “It was so bad I couldn’t concentrate. I think I’ll have to read it out loud to get through it.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. Maybe we can take turns then just fill each other in.”

I smiled, leaning back against the booth, pleased at the prospect of studying together. It meant I’d be seeing more of him and I wanted nothing more. “Okay.”

We started talking and time flew. We talked about my parents’ divorce, his life growing up in Chicago, how his family adopted his best friend when they were ten and my father’s latest criminal case, both of us leaning in toward each other intently. I ate up his words and he was equally engaged; truly interested in all I was telling him. We fell into a rhythm that was easy, yet made my heart thud inside my chest. I’d forgotten I was hungry until my stomach rumbled loudly and Ryan chuckled.

My eyes widened. “Wow. That’s embarrassing.”

“It’s my fault! I promised you lunch and I’ve completely failed.” He looked around at the clock on the wall. It was ten minutes to three. “The grill closes soon so we’d better order. What would you like?”

“I’m not picky. Grilled chicken sandwich and tea?”

“I’ll be back.” I watched him walk away, and couldn’t help but admire the easy grace with which he moved or the eyes that followed his every move. I wondered about the young woman he was speaking to before. Surely she wasn’t his girlfriend or she would have joined us for lunch. In no time, I had the sandwich, green tea and a pile of fries in front of me. Ryan had a burger, onion rings, and a Coke. He shoved the rings toward me. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted fries or rings, so…”

I pushed my fries in the middle of the table, too. “How ‘bout we share?”

Ryan smiled and grabbed an onion ring. “I hoped you’d say that.” He dipped it in the ketchup I squirted alongside and took a big bite. “How come I haven’t seen you around before?”

I lifted my right shoulder in a half-shrug. “Not sure. I don’t socialize much. First semester, I was worried about my grades so I kept to the books. Wasn’t sure what to expect, you know?” My eyes flashed up, and he was intently studying my face. I reluctantly reached for my sandwich. “Plus, you’re in arts and science and I’m business admin. It isn’t likely we’d share many classes.”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, that sucks. So, business,” he said, using it as if it were my name, “What are you going to declare?”

I swallowed the food in my mouth before I answered. “Well, I’m having trouble deciding, because, really, I’d like to double in marketing and art, but it crosses the schools, so they won’t allow it.”

“So, you’re an artist, then?”

“I feel weird saying that.” I shrugged a little, despite loving it and being told by teachers, friends, and family that I was talented, I still hesitated to allow myself the luxury of the label. “I’ve always been artistic, and I’d like to do something with it when I graduate, but my dad doesn’t think there is much of a financial future in it. So, the best I can do is take as many art electives as possible. I’ll also take extra classes during the summers so I can get the requirements in and, at least, mimic the major. Even if I can’t say I have a degree, I’ll have the knowledge.”

“I see. That makes a lot of sense.” The admiration on his face sent a small thrill through me. “It’s sort of the same for me. Stanford doesn’t offer a pre-med program per se, so I have to pick a science curriculum that I like best as a major that will still facilitate my getting into medical school.” I watched him talk, how he moved his hands and the expressions that changed his features. “At this point, I’m leaning toward chem or bio.”

“What kind of doctor do you want to be?”

“Hmmph!” He let out his breath with an amused laugh. “To be honest, I don’t have a clue, but probably some sort of specialty, though. My dad is a brain surgeon,” Ryan said so nonchalantly, it had to be true.

“Are you serious?” My eyes widened as I tried to picture Ryan’s home life. Was his dad a stuffed shirt who was gone all the time and his mother a suburban princess? If so, it certainly wasn’t evident in their son. He was so down to earth and genuine.

“Yes. No pressure there,” he smirked. “He’s sort of brilliant. He’s a very giving man, but he can be tough as nails at the same time.” Ryan laughed and continued to talk about his parents. It was obvious he loved them very much, and his words refuted my original mental impression of them. He was animated and enthusiastic; his mood was infectious. “Tell me about you.”

“Not much more to tell, really. I mean, when my parents divorced, I moved to Kansas City with my mom. Since I was eight, I’ve spent every summer in California with my father. I think he felt guilty he wasn’t around more, but I liked my life with my mom. She’s cool; way cooler than most of my friends’ moms. We like the same music and share clothes. I can talk to her about anything.”

“Is it weird for you, though? Being in the middle of your parents? I can’t imagine it since mine have always been together.”

“No. They stayed friends and always parented together. Well, most of the time.”

He stopped eating and leaned back, his eyes coming back to mine. “I can’t imagine trying to be friends with someone I was in love with. I don’t know if I could do it.”

A little shiver ran through me at his words, and I wondered if anyone had ever been lucky enough to have him in love with them. “It wasn’t always easy, but I don’t think they split due to lack of love. My mom resented my dad’s long hours, and she didn’t know many people out west. She got lonely and wanted to be closer to family. He was just starting out and working very hard. He wanted to be a prosecuting attorney, and it required long hours in the D.A.’s office. He wasn’t willing to give up his dream. Looking back, I know he was only doing it for us, but at the time, he just wasn’t there. I know he was very angry when they first split.” I wiped my fingers on the paper napkin in my lap. “But after we moved, Mom was happier, and then, so was I.”