Begin Again (16 page)

Dylan couldn’t be mad
; he knew where his dad was coming from. They were moving really fast, but it felt right. “Dad, I promise that this had nothing to do with me being ‘grateful.’ I’m falling in love with her. I never expected the feelings I had for her before to come back even harder than before. Even little Abby has wormed her way into my heart.”

His dad got up
, pulled Dylan to his feet, and wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m happy to hear that, boy. I can see already how happy they make you.”

His dad wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and gave him a squeeze.
“It’s good to see you smiling like you used to. When you came home after your first tour, we didn’t notice it as much, but each other time you just smiled less and less. That’s why we sent you to Florida. We just wanted you to have some fun for a change and to see if we could get you to smile again. Now more than ever I’m glad we sent you.”

“Thanks
, Dad, for everything.” His dad hugged him once more and then told Dylan he was off to run some errands for his mom.

Later that night, Dylan went home to shower and grab some clothes before he went back to Journey’s.
When he had called her earlier he told her he’d just stay home, but she wanted him to come over. He walked past his spare bedroom, smiling at the smell of fresh paint. His mom had been over earlier to start painting Joey’s room. She said that she was doing it a light cream color so they could pick out any color bedding and wouldn’t have to worry about it clashing. Like Joey would really care; he wasn’t even two yet.

Just as he was getting ready to head out, there was a knock at his door.
He didn’t know who the hell it could be. When he pulled it open he was surprised to see Cassie standing there. They hadn’t talked since the reception, not that he was surprised. She had been really pissed off at him and he couldn’t blame her.

“Hey
, Cass, how are you?” He stepped back as she came inside. She looked beautiful as always, but he felt absolutely nothing when he looked at her. It used to be the second the door shut they would be all over each other, but now…nada.

“I’m good
, Dylan. So…how are things?” He knew what she wanted to know. He just didn’t know how much he wanted to share with her. Sure they were friends, but they had been lovers, too.

“Well, I’ve met my son.
He’s beautiful, smart and a good boy. Journey’s been great about letting me see him whenever I want, which lately has been all of the time.”

He was surprised
, but she seemed relieved. “That’s great. I’m really happy for you. How are you and, um…I’m sorry, I forgot what her name was.”

“Her name’s Journey and things have been going really good.
She forgave me for acting like an ass, and we’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

He hoped she was
n’t fishing for information, thinking that they could pick back up where they were before. He could never hurt Journey like that, and after what his dad had said earlier, Dylan was hopeful that what they were building would last forever.

“That’s really great.
Seriously, I couldn’t be happier for you.” She glanced down at the bag in his hand. “Oh, I’m sorry, you were heading out. I just—I just wanted to stop by and was hoping to hear that you met your boy. My dad wasn’t around while my sister and I were growing up and I didn’t want that for your son.” She walked towards him, kissing his cheek quickly. “You take care of them. I’ll see you around.”

Dylan watched her walk down the front steps to
her car, wondering what the fuck just happened. He shook his head, locked up and then headed to Journey’s. When he pulled up, Abby was drawing on the sidewalk while Joey was in the grass trying to push his truck. His girl was sitting on the steps with Nan, watching them. Journey looked up and smiled as he made his way up the driveway.

“Dylan!” Abby came skipping over to him
. “Aunt JoJo says I can’t run, but I can skip.” She wrapped her arms around his waist giving him a squeeze.

He carefully picked her up in his arms. “Hey
, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

“Good, I get to go to school tomorrow.
Your mommy brought me a present. She got me a minions nightgown!”

Her favorite movies were
Despicable Me 1
&
2
. She was obsessed with the little yellow things with the funny voices. “That’s nice. Did you tell her thank you?”

She leaned in towards his ear
. “I made her a pretty picture, but don’t tell her, it’s a surprise.” He kissed her forehead and sat her down on the ground.

“I promise I won’t say a word.”

Journey came walking towards him with Joey on her hip. “Hi, honey, how was your day?” The twinkle in her eyes made him growl as he leaned down to place a kiss on her lips.

“It was damn good. Come here
, buddy.” He held his arms out to Joey, who leaned towards him with his ever present smile etched on his face. He kissed his boy on the cheek and snuggling him close.

“Hey
, Nan, how are you?” For an older woman she was beautiful; tall, curvy and blonde. Why she was single he didn’t know. He leaned forward to kiss her cheek as well. Abby led the way as they went into the house.

The
y got the kids ready for bed and the three adults sat out on the front steps, a beer in each of their hands.

They sat and shot the shit until Nan excused herself and went back to her place across the street.

“Come here, baby.” Dylan held out his hand to Journey, pulling her towards him when she reached out for his hand. They sat in a comfortable silence. Her head was resting against his shoulder. Kissing her head he could smell the fruity scent of her shampoo.

“This feels nice,” Journey murmured.

“Yeah, it does.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze. He could get used to this, he thought. For the first time in a long time he felt like he was home.

Chapter Twelve

A month had passed since Abby’s surgery. Dylan was staying with Journey and the kids more and more and they were staying with Dylan. She was so happy, yet so scared. She was in love with him and wanted to say it, but was frightened that it would freak him out and he’d leave again. They were going out with his brother and sister and their spouses later. They had planned to go out around the time Abby had her surgery, but they didn’t have the opportunity until now.

Their first
little fight had been a few weeks back. Journey and the kids had come to his house for a sleepover. She had been excited to see what his mom and sister had done to Dylan’s spare bedroom. The walls were painted a cream color; half of the room was decorated with cars and trucks. Dylan had even gotten a crib that would convert into a bed when Joey got older. The other side was decorated with pictures of minions for Abby and she had her own twin bed.

She couldn’t help the tears that fell when she
looked at all they had done so her kids would feel comfortable there. Standing in the doorway, she had felt Dylan come up behind her, wrapping her in his arms.

“I love it, Dylan.
I can’t believe you did all of this.” He kissed the top of her head as she got herself together. They went out to living room where the kids were watching cartoons. Dylan sat down with them as she went to start dinner. She couldn’t help but smile the entire time since she could hear not only the kids laughing but Dylan too.

After di
nner, they all sat together to watch a movie. Joey fell asleep right away and Abby wasn’t much further behind him. They got the kids tucked in and went back out to the living room to snuggle and watch a movie of their own.

The next morning they took the kids to the farmer’s market
downtown. Walking hand in hand, they checked out all of the different vendors. She was trying to find the perfect gift for Dylan’s mom to thank her for everything she had done for Journey and the kids.

“Dylan, what do I get your mom? Does she like fruit, flowers or plants?”

He threw his arm around her shoulders. “Baby, you don’t need to get her anything. But if you’re set on giving her something, she loves flowers.”

“Okay, Abby and I are going
to go look around. Are you okay with looking after Joey?” She didn’t want him to think she was pushing Joey off on him.

“We’ll be fine.
Go have some girl time. Joey and I will be fine.” He leaned down and kissed her lips. Every time he kissed her she knew she melted into a puddle. He pulled away and ruffled Abby’s hair. Journey smiled at Dylan’s back as he and Joey walked away.

“Al
l right, sweetheart, let’s go find Ruth some flowers.”

Holding Abby’s hand
, they went from stand to stand looking for flowers. When she was younger she used to go with her momma to the farmer’s market every weekend. Her daddy had been a big man and her momma was always trying to shove healthy food down his throat, but she caught him all the time sneaking fried chicken into the house when her mom was working. She’d keep his secret and then they would sit in the backyard enjoying it.

Journey shook her head and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before anyone noticed.
Good thing she was wearing sunglasses. She placed the big bouquet of Gerbera Daisies into her bag. They also picked up some flowers for Nan. They grabbed some strawberries before they went to look for Dylan and Joey.

“So what should we have for lunch today?”
she asked as they weaved their way through the crowds.

“Peanut
butter and jelly and chips.” Of course that’s what she wanted. Abby was addicted to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

“Okay, sweetie.” They were walking towards the exit when Journey froze in her tracks.

Dylan was standing there with that girl, the gorgeous one that looked like Katy Perry’s twin. They were laughing at something Joey did and he was in her arms. Journey glanced down at her outfit. She was wearing black and white track shorts, a red hoodie and white Nike’s. The woman looked like a supermodel in barely there khaki shorts and a white peasant top. There was no comparison: the woman was beautiful and Journey was, she supposed, cute.

She watched as the woman stroked Joey’s cheek and then looked up at Dylan
, smiling. An unfamiliar feeling settled in her gut. She didn’t know why, but it didn’t make her happy that she was holding her child. She hated that they looked like the perfect brunette Barbie family. She couldn’t compete with that. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Journey made her way towards them.

Dylan looked up as they approached
, smiling. She couldn’t bring herself to return it.

“Did you guys find some flowers?”

“Yep.” She knew she was acting like a brat, but she couldn’t help it. Did he still want that woman? Maybe after seeing her with Joey in her arms, he was going to regret not being with her.

The sad thing was that Dylan didn’t even seem to notice that she was acting different.
“So who’s this?”

Dylan threw his arm around Journey’s shoulders, “This is my friend Cassie. Cassie
, this is Journey, and the little princess is her niece, Abby.”

Cassie stuck her han
d out and Journey had no choice but to take it. “It’s so nice to meet you, Journey. Your boy is just the cutest.”

“Yeah, you too
, and thank you.” Joey leaned towards her, so she scooped him up in her arms.

Cassie stepped closer to her
. “When I stopped by to see Dylan a couple of weeks ago I was really glad that he had reached out to you.”

Oh my god, she went to see him and he didn’t tell her about it.
That hurt a lot more than it should have. Why didn’t he tell her?

“Well
, uh, me too.” She turned to Dylan. “We’re going to head back to the truck. Nice meeting you, Cassie.”

By the time they reached
the truck, she was livid. First she goes to his house and they talk about her, but Dylan doesn’t tell her. Then she finds them talking and she’s holding Joey. She knew why she was mad; she didn’t hold a candle to Cassie and it was obvious they had their thing a lot longer than hers with him. She would not become an obligation to him.

A few minutes later
, Dylan joined them. He gave her a questioning look, which she ignored. After he unlocked the truck, she quickly buckled Joey in as Dylan got Abby buckled in on her side. She climbed in, staring blindly out of the window. She heard Dylan get in on his side and shut the door. She could feel him looking at her but she didn’t turn around.

“
What’s wrong?”

She wasn’t going to get into it with him in front of the kids.
So she lied.

“
Nothing, I’ve got a headache.” She could hear him sigh from next to her, but didn’t comment. The rest of the ride back to his place they were both silent. Abby and Joey were chatting happily in the back seat.

A f
ew minutes later they pulled into his driveway. As soon as the truck was off, she hopped out and went to the back door to get Joey out. She followed behind Dylan and Abby as they walked into the house. He turned the TV on and put a movie in for the kids.

“Abby
, keep an eye on Joey, I need to talk to your Aunt JoJo.” He reached for her arm. “We need to talk.” Her heart started hammering in her chest. She had to be strong and tell him how she felt.

When they entered his room he shut the door and leaned against it.

***

Dylan leaned against the door.
“You want to tell me what that was about? Everything was fine and then all of sudden you’re acting like you’re pissed off.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that Cassie came to see you?”

“Why would I? It wasn’t that big of a deal. We’re friends, Journey.” As soon as he said it he knew he said the wrong thing when her body went ramrod straight. Especially since he had been pissed when Zach had said he went to see her.

“You used to sleep with her
, Dylan, and she’s beautiful. Why was she holding my son?”

Oh
, she was not going to pull that shit with him. “He’s our son; we ran into her and she wanted to hold him. It’s not a big deal.” He couldn’t believe she was acting like a jealous brat.

“It’s not a big deal
? So had Zach and I actually slept together before we broke up and I happened to run into him somewhere and you came walking up while he was snuggling Joey and we looked like a cozy little family, you wouldn’t get pissed off?”

He felt murderous at the thought of Zach fucking her, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. “
You’re acting like a child.” He could see the tears in her eyes already and immediately felt badly for what he said.

“Well gee, thanks.
Excuse me if I’m acting like a child. I don’t want to be jealous, but I watched you two together and with Joey in her arms: you looked like the picture perfect family. It’s obvious she’s closer to your age than I am, and our age difference has always been an issue for you. I’m jealous and wanted to be just a few years older so you wouldn’t freak out and leave me again.”

He knew he hurt her before when he left, but he thought
they were past it. No wonder she freaked out. “Come here.” He reached for her but she backed away from him.

“No, this is always going to be an issue, isn’
t it? You know you were the one who didn’t leave the restaurant until I agreed to go out with you.” She turned her back to him, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly. “Do you know what it’s like to have your whole life change in such a short period of time that you feel like you can’t keep up? My parents were gone and I felt so lost, then I met you, and even though I knew we weren’t going to last, I was happy, but then you left me, too. When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy. Sure, I was going to be doing it alone, but I didn’t care because that baby was going to be a part of you.”

He could hear her take a shuddering breath
. “I had to grow up really fast, Dylan. Did I want to? Not really, but what choice did I have? I had to take care of myself and a three year old. I spent my twenty-second birthday in bed while Nan took care of the kids. I was rundown, sick, and starving myself because I barely had time to eat. I know I’m rambling, and I’m sorry if the age thing bothers you, but guess what? I don’t feel twenty-three. I may look it, but I don’t feel it. If I act like a child sometimes, well, I’m sorry—I can’t help it.”

He felt like an asshole, but he was glad this happened because she
had acted like things had been good from the get-go and he didn’t want her to sugarcoat it if she had struggled. Dylan walked to her and wrapped his arms around her, but before he could do anything there was a knock on his door.

“Aunt JoJo, Joey stinks!” Abby yelled through the door.

“We’ll be right there, sweetheart,” he yelled back.

Turning Journey around
, he looked down at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would be a problem to let her hold him. You’re right; if I walked up on the same situation I wouldn’t be very happy. I don’t want her, Journey. Even when we were sort of together, I couldn’t see a future with her. But I can see one with you. I’m sorry I said you acted like a child. Please forgive me.”

She wiped at the tears that were leaking from her eyes. “I’m sorry
, too. I didn’t react very well. I admit I was jealous of her. She’s beautiful and she looks all put together and I just—I’m not.”

“You don’t see it
, but I do: you’re absolutely gorgeous. You’re an amazing mom, too. Baby you’re the whole package. No more tears, okay?” He felt himself hold his breath while he waited for her to answer him.

Finally she gave him a small smile and a nod. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to his chest.
He smiled when he felt her arms wrap around him. They stayed like that for a few minutes and then he pulled back looking down at her.

“How about I take care of stinky and do you want to get lunch going?”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

Dylan kissed her quick and they went out to take care of the kids.

***

Journey shook her head
. She tried not to think of their fight, but every now and then she would and couldn’t help but be embarrassed. She knew she overreacted a bit, and Dylan had done nothing but prove to her that she was who he wanted over the last couple of weeks.

She checked herself in the mirror one more time, knowing that Dylan would be back to get her. He was taking the kids to his
parents’ house for a sleepover. Bellamy and Luke’s little girl was going to be there too, so they could all go out together.

Journey missed the shopping trip with Stacy and Bellamy, but they brought over some dresses of theirs for her to try.
She decided on a royal blue slip dress that belonged to Bellamy, but with her stomach already showing signs of her pregnancy, she told Journey to keep it. The straps were a little thicker than spaghetti straps, the bodice was form-fitting, cupping her breasts and pushing them up. The skirt hit her mid-thigh and flounced when she moved. She knew that when she danced it would twirl. She finished the outfit off with a gold chain around her neck that used to belong to her mom, and a pair of nude stiletto sandals.