Begin Again (20 page)

“I tried dating a few years after I lost Tim and Marie, but I don’t know. I just couldn’t give my heart to anyone else.
That was until I met you and Abby. I’m happy, Journey. I may not have a man in my life, but I’m extremely happy. You and those babies have become such a big part of my life and I can’t wait to see them grow up and become something great.” Journey wrapped her arms around Nan and squeezed her tight.

“
I love you, Nan.”

The two women hugged for a long time before Journey pulled away
. “I hate to leave,, but we’re going to Dylan’s brother’s for a cookout with the kids. I’ll call you tomorrow. If you’re up to it, I’ll bring the kids over.”

“See
, that makes me glad: you kids having other family and friends to spend time with. Y’all go and have a good time. I’m going to take a nap before I go in to work tonight. Maybe tomorrow I’ll take the kids to McDonald’s.” She stood up, pulling Journey to her feet. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too.
We’ll talk tomorrow. Thank you so much for telling me about Tim and Marie.”

They hugged one more time before Journey went back to her house.
When she walked inside, she smiled. Dylan and Abby were sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table coloring. Even Joey was scribbling on a piece of paper. They all turned to her smiling.

“Hi
, guys. Having fun?” Journey climbed over the couch, sitting between Abby and Dylan. She kissed the top of Abby’s head. She turned and kissed Dylan’s lips before scooping Joey up and kissing his cheek.

“Everything okay with Nan?”

“It is
. I’ll tell you about it later. Thanks for keeping an eye on them. What time do we need to be at your brother’s?” She was hoping to lay down for a little bit. After the emotional talk with Nan, she was spent.

“Not until six.
Why don’t you go lie down? You look tired.”

She stood up after sitting Joey down.
Abby asked to come with, so both girls went back into Journey’s bedroom. She kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed. Abby followed suit and soon she was snuggled up with her girl. It didn’t take long before her eyes became heavy and she felt herself drift off to sleep.

Journey was having the best dream.
She and Dylan were on the beach lying in the sand together. Journey was on her stomach and Dylan was rubbing sunscreen on her back in slow, methodical circles. His hands slid down to her ass, squeezing and massaging her cheeks. She felt his hands slip underneath her bikini bottoms and moaned into her towel.

“Baby, get up
,” he crooned in her ear. “Come on, Journey, it’s time to get up.”

She jerked awake and sat up quickly.

“That must’ve been a good dream. You were moaning pretty loud.” She wanted to slap the smirk right off his beautiful face. “Were you dreaming about me?” He pulled her into his arms and she snuggled into him.

“
I’m not telling.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “How long was I out for?”

“Two hours
. Abby only slept for about thirty minutes, so she’s been helping keep Joey occupied so you could rest. Do you want to tell me what happened with Nan?”

Journey snuggled into his chest and told him about
Nan losing her husband and daughter in a car accident and how she helped her hang their photos on the wall. She still couldn’t believe that Nan didn’t tell her any of it, but that was her decision to make and she knew she had her reasons.

“I’ll get Joey
dressed while you get ready. I want to hear about this dream you were having, but I’ll wait until later.” He gave her a deep kiss, his tongue dueling with hers before he pulled away. She watched him get off the bed and close the door behind him as he went back out into the living room.

Nan’s words played over and over in her head as she sat there. She needed to let go of the fear and tell Dylan how she felt about him. The worst that could happen would be that he didn’t return her feelings.
Yes, that would suck, but as long as he didn’t run, she could deal—at least for the time being. She put all those thoughts out of her head for now. Getting up, she went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of black shorts and a royal blue t-shirt that had a picture of the group Blondie on it. She grabbed a bra and panties and took them across the hall.

After a quick shower
, she slathered herself in lotion and threw her clothes on. She moisturized her face and applied just a little bronzer to her cheeks and chapstick to her lips. She had her hair piled on her head and it didn’t look bad so she left it up. Taking her dirty clothes and put them in the hamper, she grabbed some flip-flops out of her closet and slipped into them before joining the others in the living room.

“Mama!” Joey yelled as he ran over to her.

“Hi
, my baby, were you a good boy for Daddy?” He smiled and gave her the usual answer these days.

“No,
Dada!” Joey smiled and wrapped his arms around Journey’s neck.

“No? Uh-oh, were you naughty?”

“No.” He loved that word.
It didn’t matter what she would ask him, his answer was always no, but he always had a smile on his face when he said it.

“Where’s Abby?”
she asked Dylan, who was in the kitchen loading her dishwasher.

“Hey baby, she’s in her room
, changing her clothes. How can you look so hot in just a t-shirt and shorts?” Her face heated up as his eyes devoured her.

“Whatever
, but thank you. Thanks for doing that.” She glanced at the dishwasher. Abby came out a few minutes later dressed in an outfit similar to hers: t-shirt and shorts. Hers were black shorts and a red t-shirt with a rainbow across the chest.

“Mommy
, will you braid my hair?” It still made her want to cry happy tears when Abby called her mommy. It was amazing how quickly she got used to calling Journey that. She had Abby go grab her hair-tie and the brush. When she came back, sitting Joey on the floor, Journey got to work quickly braiding her hair and then they were ready to go. She was looking forward to spending some time with Dustin, Stacy, and Violet.

Chapter Fourteen

Dylan manned the grill while his brother was getting the kids’ hot dogs. He turned to see Journey and Stacy talking and laughing. They had been yucking it up since they got there. Out in the yard Abby had the two babies out there. Joey and Violet were getting along better as Vi got used to him being around. She loved Abby already. She followed her around and tried doing everything she did.

A minute later
, Dustin joined him at the grill with a plate of hot dogs. Dylan stepped away and grabbed his beer off of the table. He took a healthy sip and sat it back down.

“So when did Abby start calling Journey mom?” Dustin asked.

“Last night. It was really fucking cute, too. I still don’t understand how a man could just give up his child and not even care enough to keep in contact with the person raising her.” If Dylan ever laid eyes on Cash, he’d punch him in his drug addicted face.

“Well
, it’s pretty shitty, but obviously she’s doing better with Journey. I meant to ask you yesterday, but how’s the remodel of the bed and breakfast going? I was going to try and stop by this coming week to do a walk through with you.”

Dylan didn’t mind having to answer to his brother or Luke.
They were the brains of the business. His brother never tried to put him down, and if he found something wrong he explained why and how they could make it better. “Sounds good. There were a couple of things I wanted to show you, anyway.”

“Yeah, sure
. I’ll check my schedule on Monday and see what day will work out.” He turned to look at his wife. “Baby, it’s go time.”

Stacy gave his brother that beautiful smile of hers and went into the house
. Journey smiled at Dylan and followed his sister in law into the house. He turned back to watch the kids playing with a ball in the grass. Violet ran over and stood in front of Joey. Dylan watched waiting to see what his little niece was going to do.

“Dustin, check out the kids,” Dylan said as he started to laugh.
Violet was kissing Joey with her mouth partially open. Dustin looked up from the grill, shaking his head.

“She’s going to give me gray hair. I can feel it.
I need to get that gun,” he said almost to himself.

“Baby, you don’t need a gun.
What she’s doing is completely normal,” Stacy stated as she carried plates to the table.

Dylan felt Journey’s arms wrap around his waist. Her giggle was so damn cute as she watched the kids.
Smiling up at him she gave him a squeeze.

“Eww…gross!” Abby complained as she stood with the babies. She ran up to Journey
. “Mommy, they’re kissing.”

“I know, baby.
It’s okay. It’s just something toddlers do sometimes. It doesn’t mean anything to them yet.”

Abby went to sit at the table as Journey was helping the babies walk up the steps. They both talked in their baby gibberish
. They obviously knew what the other one was saying since they seemed to be answering what the other said. He helped get the kids all settled as Dustin placed the hotdogs and chicken on the table. There was a ton of food. He put a little bit of everything on Joey’s plate and set it on the tray of the high chair he was sitting in. He got himself a plate and sat down, smiling at his woman, who took his breath away.

Dylan licked up Journey’s spine as he held his cock in her as deep as he could get.
He bit into her shoulder and he felt her pussy squeeze him. Knowing she was close, he let his hand drift down in between her legs to rub her clit. Her cries were muffled by the pillow she was biting.

“You’re going to come, aren’t you?”
he purred in her ear.

“Yes
, please, Dylan,” she begged, so he doubled his efforts on her clit, feeling her clamp down around him. Her cries became higher and faster as he started thrusting faster and harder into her. With a pinch to her clit, she exploded around him. With both hands on her hips, he started fucking her with everything he had. When the tingles started at the base of his spine, he ground his dick inside her until his balls drew up and he groaned against her back as his orgasm ripped through him.

Journey didn’t move
; he was afraid that he may have hurt her. He pulled out and he heard her muffled whimper. He was already missing her warmth. Brushing the hair out of her face, he saw the way her lips tipped up in the corners.

“Aww…did I knock my baby out?” He loved that it didn’t take much to
get her all soft and pliant.

“Mmm
…hmm,” she mumbled sleepily.

He pulled the condom off and wrapped it into a tissue, then tossed it into the little trash can next to the bed.
He scooped up his pajama pants and slipped them on. Grabbing her nightgown, he maneuvered it so he could slip it over her head. It had spaghetti straps, so those were easy to get her arms through. He pulled it down her body and then pulled her into his arms. Kissing her head, he settled into the bed and felt himself slip into sleep.

The sound of music woke Dylan up the next morning.
He rolled over, glancing at the alarm clock; it was already ten o’clock. He normally didn’t sleep that late, but they had been up late the night before. He got out of bed and threw his t-shirt over his head. Going across the hall he went to the bathroom to relieve himself, wash his face and brush his teeth.

The song
“Happy” was playing and he could hear singing from the kitchen. He turned the corner and leaned against the door jamb. Journey was dancing with Joey in her arms while Abby danced around them both. None of them noticed him, but he was glad. He was getting to enjoy something special between the three of them. Journey smiled wide as she looked at Joey, who clapped to the music. They looked like they were making something. On the counter was a mixing bowl, a mixer, and measuring cup.

Joey noticed him first and reached out to him over Journey
. “Dada!”

Journey spun around, smiling big as she brought Joey over to him
. “Good morning.” She handed Joey to him and kissed his lips. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of that.

“Morning
, babe. Good morning, Abby.” He kissed Joey’s forehead.

“Hi
, Dylan, we’re making cookies!” Her little fist pumped up into the air and she ran back to the chair in front of the counter.

“We were taking a quick dance party break since we love that song.
I’m making peanut butter cookies for us. You like them, don’t you? Your mom said you did.”

That
’s why he loved her—well, among other reasons, but she was very thoughtful, “Yes, they’re my favorite. Thank you for thinking of me. So why did you let me sleep so late?”

“I don’t know. You were just sleeping so peacefully and I wanted to let you get some rest.
You always get up with me when Joey gets up early, so I thought for once I’d let you sleep. Are you hungry? I can make you something.”

Leaning down
, he kissed her again. “I’ll just make some toast.” Abby asked to fix it for him, so he let her put the bread in the toaster while he got a cup a coffee. Once it popped up, Abby put the peanut butter on for him.

After eating
, he went and showered and then got dressed. It was starting to get chilly out, so he threw on jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. When he came back out, Journey was doing dishes and there were cookies cooling on the counter. Both kids were at the table munching on a cookie. He grabbed a couple before leaning against the counter watching Journey. She looked up smiling at him.

“Do they taste okay? I’ve never made them on my own before.” She watched him with wide eyes while he finished chewing the cookie.

“Baby, I’d be a happy man if you made these for me every day.
They’re just as good as my mom’s.” Dylan shoved the other cookie into his mouth. “I’ve got to go to my parents’ house to install a ceiling fan for them. I was going to take the kids, if that’s okay? I thought we could give you the afternoon to relax and read a book if you want. I haven’t seen you do that a whole lot lately.” God, he was turning into a pussy, but damn if he didn’t want to make her happy.

“Really? Sure, okay.
Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down towards her and whispered in his ear, “I’ll thank you extra good tonight.” Then she bit his fucking ear. His cock stirred in his pants and he held in the groan that threatened to escape.

“Oh baby, you’re going to get it later.”

Dylan watched as her eyelids got that heavy-lidded look that he loved. She shook her head and went to grab Joey out of his high chair. He called for Abby to get her shoes. A minute later she was tearing down the hallway and stopped in front of him.

“Where are we going?” She bounced from foot to foot while she waited for his answer.

“You, your brother, and I are going to my mom and dad’s. Is that okay with you?”

She looked up at him with those big blue eyes of hers and it made him want to punch her dad in the face.
If he ever saw that motherfucker’s face he’d punch a hole through it. The girl was beautiful, as sweet and smart as a whip. Before Carrington he hadn’t had a whole lot of experience with kids but he’d always liked them. Now he couldn’t imagine his life without any of them.

Abby jumped up and down in front of him
. “Yay! Is Care Bear going to be there?”

“I don’t think so, darlin’.”
She lost some of her bounciness, but she was still smiling.

Journey handed Dylan Joey’s d
iaper bag. He gave a quick kiss, picked Joey up and headed off to his parents’.

***

When the door shut, Journey locked the door and stood there looking around. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Not really being alone this past month, it felt weird to be in the house alone. She grabbed her Kindle and went to her bedroom. Picking up a pair of Dylan’s jeans off the floor, she shook her head and threw them in the hamper. “Is it that hard to throw them in the hamper?”

Crawling into her bed
, she propped herself up against the headboard, using her pillows to cushion her back. She was excited to get back to the book she’d started reading earlier in the week. It was so good and it was her favorite type of romance, dark and dirty. The hero kidnapped the heroine and was training her to be a sex slave. She was part a pawn in his game, but he fell in love with her. She was on the third book, which was a very long epilogue. So far it was amazing.

The sound of her phone ringing jerked
Journey awake; she hadn’t even realized she fell asleep. She ran into the living room, grabbing her cordless phone off of the base.

“Hello.
” She could hear heavy breathing on the other end. “Hello?”

Throat clearing echoed through the phone before a voice that made her freeze came through the line
. “JoJo?”

Cash’s voice sounded just the way she remembered it when they were younger.
The tears immediately spilled down her cheeks.

“Cash? Wh-
what are you doing ca-calling me?” She forced the tears back and let her anger take over. “Cash, I’ve had Abby for two years and I haven’t heard from you. I mean, come on… I know you gave up all rights to her, but not even a call to make sure I was taking good care of her? Where the hell have you been?” She didn’t know why she was asking, but she needed answers.

“JoJo, baby girl
, don’t cry. Let me explain everything, please?” She shouldn’t give him a chance to explain anything, but that just wasn’t her. She had to hear him out.

“Yeah,
okay.”

“First, before I say anything else
, how is she?”

“She’s wonderful. Very smart, sweet
, and beautiful. She’s tiny for her age, but she’s healthy and happy.” Journey would keep it to herself that Abby called her mommy now.

“That’s great.
This is going to be very hard for me to say, but you need to know. Three months after we gave you custody of Abby, Kara, Abby’s mom, OD’d and didn’t make it. I don’t really remember what happened, but I woke up in the hospital. They had a guard at my door, because as soon as I was well enough, I was put in jail. I don’t really want to share why I was in jail, but for the first time I wanted to get clean. I finally saw what the drugs were doing to my life. I lost Abby, Kara, and you. Hell, Mom and Dad died and I barely remember the funeral. You needed me and I wasn’t there for you.”

Journey couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as they ran freely down her cheeks.
She lay on the couch and listened as Cash continued talking.

“
I was in jail for six months and then went directly to rehab. One of the guards helped set me up for treatment and even drove me when I got out. I would like to share the rest of that in person someday. After treatment, I went to a halfway house and now I’m living in Charleston with a friend from high school. Do you remember Jared Parker?”