Begin Again (23 page)

“I brought some
pictures if you want to see them.” She slid the little photo album across the table and watched as he picked it up and opened it. A small smile tipped the corners of his lips as he studied each picture. She felt the burning in her nose as the tears started to build. Cash had tears rolling down his cheeks as he stared at a picture. Journey leaned forward to see what picture it was. It was from Abby’s first day of Kindergarten.

“She’s so beautiful.
Thank you for taking such good care of her. She’s so tiny; is that bad?”

His hands were clenched into fists on the table, he wouldn’t look at her.
She reached across the table, putting her hand on top of his. “It’s fine. She’s perfect, very healthy. She did have surgery over a month ago.” His eyes widened. “No, it’s okay. It was just her appendix.”

Cash nodded his head and looked back down at the pictures.
“Joey is beautiful. He’s a big boy, isn’t he?”

“He was ten pounds when he was born.
He looks just like his dad, who’s a big guy himself.”

“Wow, that’s a big baby. Who’s this blonde woman?”
He pointed to a picture of the kids and Nan.

“That’s Nan
. She’s my neighbor and she’s become sort of a surrogate mom and grandma to us. I met her when I first moved here. Without her I don’t think I would’ve survived that first year.”

Cash looked at her with questions in his eyes
. “What do you mean?”

She decided to give him a shortened version of everything that happened.
Telling him about meeting Dylan and him leaving and about her going home to Alabama to keep an eye on him, but she hadn’t been able to locate him. She told him about moving to Port Royal when she was pregnant with Joey.

“I know I have no right to play the big brother
now, but he got you pregnant after two weeks and you couldn’t find him because he lied about his name, but as luck would have it you did find him and you’re now together? Please tell me you at least made him work for it?”

Journey knew it didn’t make a lot of sense that she forgave
Dylan so quickly, but wasn’t she forgiving Cash quickly, too? When she said exactly that to her brother he got really quiet, but it was the truth. She could’ve stayed away from Dylan, but she loved him.

“I love him, Cash. Not just because he’s the father of our son, but he makes me really happy.
He’s so good with Abby and Joey. Come over for dinner Friday night and see for yourself. I want you and Dylan to meet, Joey too. I think we should hold off at first telling Abby who you are. Obviously if she recognizes you, we’ll sit her down and explain everything to her. She calls me ‘mommy’ now.” She hated to see the pain in her brother’s eyes, but she didn’t want Abby calling her mommy in front of him without a heads up first.

He reached across the table and grabbed her hand in his, he cleared his throat. “
It’s okay. I wish I could go back in time. I never would’ve started using and Kara would still be here. We would be raising our daughter together. I can’t change it; I have to accept the fact that I was so messed up and we didn’t do right by Abby.” He squeezed her hand. “I don’t remember the night we left her alone. By then we were using more and more.”

Watching her brother
, she felt tears fill her eyes as he talked, he subconsciously scratched at his right forearm.

“I’m gonna step out for a minute.” Cash slid out of the booth and pulled on a fleece jacket.

“Are you leaving? I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about any of that anymore if you don’t want to.” Journey went to stand up, but he stayed her with a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m just stepping outside to have a cigarette.
I promise I’ll be right back.” He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked towards the front. She noticed the admiring looks women were giving him. She shook her head and shot a quick text to Dylan.

Journey: Hey honey, having a nice time. Will be home soon.

A minute later her phone pinged.

Dylan: That’s good, baby. I’ll see you when you get here.

She sat her phone back down on the table and waited for her brother to come back. A few minutes later, he rejoined her at the table. He seemed a little more relaxed when he came back in. Their lunch arrived and they ate in a companionable silence. When they finished, she wanted to stay and talk more, but she really needed to get home to her kids. Even though she tried to refuse, he paid for their lunch.

Following him outside, they stood in front of the steps.
He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight. “Thanks for meeting me today. Would you come to one of my therapy sessions? It doesn’t need to be soon, just whenever you’re free. I’ve been working with Derek since I moved here. It’s helped me so much.”

“Sure, I’d like to meet him. How about we plan on me coming with you in a couple of weeks?
Will he want to talk to me about you?” She wouldn’t admit it to her brother that she was scared to go with him. Not because he may or may not ask her questions about her brother, but because she might learn more about Cash. She knew there were things he wasn’t telling her, but he’d tell her when he was ready.

“I don’t know, maybe. He’s really informal so there’s no reason to worry. I’ll text you later to make sure you got home okay.” He wrapped his arms around her again, “I’ve missed you, JoJo. Thank you for seeing me today.”

Before she could say anything in return, he was gone. She stood there watching him climb into a beat up old truck and then pull out of the parking lot. “I love you, Cash,” Journey whispered, staring at his taillights as he drove away.

Shaking off the sadness
, she climbed into her own vehicle and took off towards home. She hoped that Dylan would be okay with her brother coming to dinner. She needed to figure out what to do about Abby. She wasn’t sure if she remembered her dad. He looked nothing like the pictures she had of him. He had always been skinny, but when he was using it was worse. He was always pale and looked like he never ate. That wasn’t the case now.

She’d just take it one step at a time.
Never planning on keeping it from Abby about who he was, but knowing she needed to handle it delicately had her chewing on her thumbnail as she drove home-thinking about what she’d say to Abby.

Chapter Sixteen

Dylan and Nan sat on Journey’s front steps watching the kids draw on the sidewalk with chalk. Nan had been with the kids when Journey had left to go meet her brother for lunch. He still wasn’t thrilled that she went, but understood why she did. After Dylan had gotten the text from her, he headed over to her house. Nan already had the kids outside, so he sat down next to her and watched the kids.

“Have you
heard from our girl?” Nan asked as she took a sip of her water.

“She texted me earlier and said it was going well. What are your feelings about the whole situation?” He wanted to know what she thought about it.
All he knew was that he wanted to meet the asshole and judge for himself.

“I don’t know.
He’s her brother and her only family member that’s left, but he hasn’t been much of a brother to her. Plus, look at Abby,” her voice was a whisper. “He left his toddler home alone so he could probably get high. I can’t really judge him because addiction is an illness, but I don’t like that my Abby might not be alive right now if one of their neighbors hadn’t spotted her outside. If he is truly clean and sober now, then I think it’ll be good for Journey to have him near.”

He understood what she was saying, but until he checked him out he was going to remain
leery. Dylan looked up as Journey’s car pulled into the driveway. He watched her climb out of the car and could tell she’d been crying. He was going to beat that motherfucker’s ass. Before he could go to her, both kids ran towards her. The smile gracing her lips lit up her whole face. She got down on her haunches as both kids wrapped their arms around her.

He couldn’t hear what she was saying to them, but her smile was bright.
Holding out his hand, he helped Nan up and they both went to her. With Joey in her arms, Journey went right to him. He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers. She greeted Nan with a hug and a kiss, too.

“Come on, Abby, Let’s go inside
,” he said as he went to the little girl, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. Her squeals were music to his ears. Carrying her into the house, he sat her down in the living room. “Go wash the chalk off your hands.”

She bolted down the hallway, followed by the slamming of the door.
Sauntering out to the kitchen, he quickly went to Journey when he saw she was crying. Nan had Joey in her arms so he went right to his woman, wrapping his arms around her.

“He looks good, Dylan
: strong, healthy, and fit. I didn’t even recognize him until he saw me. I invited him over for dinner next week.” He knew she felt his body stiffen. “Please, Dylan. I really want you to meet him. He’s changed, he even asked me to go with him to a therapy session.”

Dylan didn’t like it at all, but as long as he was there he could keep an eye on things.

“Okay. I look forward to meeting him.” He was going to have to do some recon on the brother. He wanted to check him out before he let him anywhere near his family.
His family
…He loved the sound of that. They were his, all three of them. Hell, Nan was becoming a part of his life, too.

Nan left before dinner, but first ask
ed if she could keep the kids one night next week for a sleepover. He was down for that. A little alone time with Journey was needed. He wanted to be able to make her scream without waking the kids.

Smiling
, he could hear Journey puttering around the kitchen making dinner. He and Joey were on the couch watching Sportscenter. It made him happy when his little man snuggled into him. Journey had told Dylan that if there was a night that he wanted to take Joey for a guy’s night, she was fine with that. As much as he appreciated that, he didn’t want to be away from her or Abby either.

Over two years ago
, he’d felt lost and unsure about his decision to leave the Marine Corp. His dad and Patrick were handing over their business to Dustin and Luke and they asked him to join them. He had already made the decision not to re-enlist and that gave him the final push he needed. His parents had sent him to Florida for two weeks to decompress and relax and little did anyone know that that little trip changed his life forever. Kissing the top of his little man’s head he settled into the couch.

“Do you want my cock, baby?” Dylan leaned over Journey’
s back, licking and sucking her neck. “You didn’t answer me. Do you want it?” he crooned in her ear.

As soon as she cried out yes, he thrust
his cock inside her from behind and felt her walls clamp down around him. She was always so wet and hot for him. He silenced her with a hand over her mouth and he swore he felt her get even more wet for him. Pulling her up so they were both on their knees, her back was up against his front.

He reached up, pinching and
rolling her nipples between his fingers. She turned her head and bit his neck to silence her cries. Dylan swore his cock twitched when she bit him. He knew he wasn’t going to last very long with the way she kept squeezing his cock. Still buried inside her, he pushed her down until she was on all fours again. Grabbing her hips, he started pounding into her with so much force it shook her bed. Her muffled cries became more desperate.

“Touch your clit
, baby.”

Dylan felt her
fingertips graze where they were joined as she started to touch herself. He knew it would only take a second before she exploded around him. He slowed down long enough to bend down and kiss up her spine. Her body quivered beneath him. The minute he felt her start to come, he grabbed her hips and shuttled his cock in and out of her until he felt the tingling start. Her pussy milked every last drop from him until they both collapsed into a heap of bodies and limbs on her bed.

When his heart stopped pounding in his chest
, he carefully pulled out of her and got rid of the condom. He pulled her to him until her body was draped over his. Kissing her forehead with a contented sigh he felt her fingertips lightly draw imaginary circles on his chest. He didn’t want to move, but they needed to throw on some sort of clothing just in case either of the kids needed them.

“
What are you going to tell Abby when your brother comes?”

He wasn’t sure what he was doing asking something like that while Journey was a
ll soft and snuggly next to him. Dylan was concerned, though. Abby might not remember her dad too much and he probably looked like your average junkie before. It was possible she wouldn’t recognize him. If she knew that was her dad she’d probably ask about her mom and what then? Her mom OD’d and died. He wished that she would hold off welcoming this guy back into their lives, but he could see the joy in her eyes at the possibility of her brother being back in their lives.

“Well, I’m not sure. I mean, is she too young to understand?
If she knows Cash is her dad then she’s going to want to know about her mom.” He felt her push herself up. “What if she wants to live with him? I guess I should’ve thought about this some more.”

“Honey, I doubt she’s going to want to live with him.
You’re her mom and Joey’s her brother. She knows that, and as far as what to tell her, you could always wait and see if she remembers him. Let’s just play it by ear, okay?” He knew she was going to worry about it until the next weekend, so it was going to be his mission to make sure she was happy and not stressing out. Maybe he could enlist Bellamy, Stacy, and Nan’s help in keeping her occupied.

On Wednesday Dylan was stopping by all of their jobsites
, checking the progress and getting updates for the foreman. It wasn’t technically his job, but both Luke and Dustin were extremely busy with new plans and he was eager to do what he could to help.

His dad used to take Dylan and Dustin to work with him when they were younger.
He was always more interested in the hands on work, whereas his brother and Luke were more into the drawing and designing aspect of things. He pulled onto the jobsite, pulling his truck up next to his foreman, Greg. Grabbing his hard hat off of the floor, he climbed out. The noise level was loud, but to be expected, as a couple of the guys cut through cement flooring with a wet concrete saw. He found Greg and one of the other crew members looking over the plans.

“Hey
, Dylan, how’s it going?” He reached out shaking the older man’s hand.

“It’s going good.
It looks like you guys are right on schedule. How long do you think it’ll be before you get it all cleared out?” They were tearing down an old gas station and building a small family grocery store.

“We should have it all cleared out by next Friday
the latest. Everything’s ordered and all we have to do is call them when we’re ready and they’ll get it delivered. These guys are real work horses, I definitely recommend using them again.” The guy didn’t bullshit, so he took him at his word.

“That’s good to hear. We’ll keep them at the top of the list
. Can we take a look around real quick? I won’t keep you.”

Greg led him around
, going through everything they had done so far and what they still needed to do. It was amazing how quickly they could tear a place down and rebuild something completely different. Although he was still learning, it didn’t take long for Dylan to gain a good deal of knowledge. He wanted to make his dad and brother proud. He didn’t have the college education like his brother, but his dad hadn’t, either. Dylan was always a more hands-on learner.

When they finished up
, he said goodbye to Greg and headed to his truck. He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to his brother and told him that they were on schedule. Dylan had one more site to stop at before he headed back to the office.

He logged onto his computer and typed up his progress report when he was finished with his site visits for the day.
Dylan hated typing because he was so freaking slow at it, but it needed to get done. When he finished he sent Journey a text that he’d be home in an hour. He decided to look up Cash and see if could find where he lived.

Tomorrow he was going to go meet this guy.
He shouldn’t do it behind her back because it could piss Journey off, but he was just trying to look out for her and protect the kids. She was young and had been without family for a long time, so he knew she wanted her brother back in her life and that could certainly cloud her judgment. First, he got on Facebook to see if he was on there, but he wasn’t. He then checked Twitter, no luck there. The White Pages produced an address in Charleston, so he jotted it down and shut down his computer.

As Dylan left the office
, the only thing that kept going through his mind was that he was doing it for his family. He just had to make sure that this guy was the real deal before he let Cash anywhere near Journey and those kids.

Walking into Journey’s house
, Abby came running out, followed by Carrington. Joey was trying to catch up with them.

“Hi
, Dylan!” Abby shouted as she ran by.

“Unca Dyl, I wunning
,” Carrington hollered as she ran behind Abby. His niece adored Abby. They were attached at the hip.

Joey ran by him
, but stopped when he saw Dylan. He’d never get tired of seeing his little boy’s face light up when he saw his daddy. “Come here, Joey.” Picking him up, Dylan carried him into the kitchen. Journey was at the stove stirring something.

She turned towards him when he walked in.
“Hi, honey, how was your day?” He went to her, bending to kiss her lips. She smelled sweet, almost like vanilla and raspberries.

“It was good, babe.
I got all three site visits done today and even finished the paperwork. So what’s Cari doing here?”

“Bellamy called and Carrington wanted to see Abby.
She and Luke had an OB appointment, so I offered to watch her while they were gone. She’s going to have dinner with us.” She turned back to the stove.

“Can
I help with anything?”

“Just keep an eye on the kids.
I hope chicken strips, mac and cheese, and applesauce is okay. Your sister said Carrington’s a little bit of a picky eater, so I thought this was the safest choice.” Just then both girls came running into the kitchen.

“We’re hungry
,” Abby whined.

“It’ll be ready soon.
Why don’t you take Care Bear to the bathroom and get your hands washed?”

The girls squealed and ran down the hall.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Cash is free Saturday, so he’s coming over then. I thought I’d make burgers and hot dogs. I’ll do chips, baked beans, and fruit salad, too. Do you think that sounds good?”

It didn’t, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.
He wished she’d wait before she brought this guy around. That just proved he was doing the right thing—going to see for himself if the guy was on the up and up. He wasn’t going to let Cash hurt Journey or Abby. If he even got a hint that the guy wasn’t truthful, he was going to squash their meeting real quick. Maybe it wasn’t technically his business, but he loved her and he wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her.