Being Invisible (17 page)

“I don’t think so.” He hits the
ball again, and this time it sinks into the hole.

 
By the sixth hole I am only two strokes
behind him, which seems to fuel his frustration.

It’s in that moment when I realize
something.

This guy is actually more competitive than I am.

That cannot be good.

The sixth hole has one hole that
you drop your ball into, but it leads into another green that has a second
hole. Since the first whole doesn’t really matter, I close my eyes and let the
ball go where it wants. It feels kind of freeing to just let it go.

David, of course, lines up the
shot like he’s trying to figure out whether to pull the green wire or the red
one.

 
Is
this how I am when I get competitive?

 
I make a mental note to apologize
to my friends when I get home.

Right before David hits his ball,
he drops his club.

“Something just stung me.” He
touches the part of his neck that hurts, but it’s in an area that he can’t see.

“Let me check for you.” I pull
down the neck of his shirt a little to see the spot.

“I don’t really see anything.” I
say as I attempt to look closer. The situation is starting to feel a little
more intimate than I meant, so I start to pull away. Just then, David turns and
catches my lips with his.

Taken too off guard to react, I
let him kiss me. It’s not a bad kiss at all. He’s gentle and sweet. But I’m
pissed. Because I realize in that moment that Colin’s kiss has ruined me for
all future kisses. No one will ever be able to stack up.

 
Damn
you and your super kissing abilities, Colin.

Before I have a chance to pull
away, David suddenly stops the kiss. I look at him in confusion before I
realize he’s been hit with a ball
again
,
this time hitting his shoulder
.

“Are you kidding me?” David looks
around trying to find the culprit. When he sees the teenagers coming closer, he
starts to head that way. “I’ll be back. I need to get those kids to stop their
flying balls from hitting me.” The way he says it, he’s not all that upset. He
really is laid back-except, for some reason, when it comes to mini golf. Weird.

I look where my ball went,
thinking about how I am going to hit it, when David comes back. “They said it
wasn’t them. They seemed legit. Must be some other terrible player, or a guy
with a vengeance against me.” He laughs then lines up his club.

Wait a second
.

David was hit with a ball.

Twice.

But no one did it.

And he was stung. But by a bug
that I didn't see and left no mark.

You have got to be kidding me.

David continues to talk, but I’m
not entirely sure what he’s saying. Something about a backpacking trip he’s
taking, I think.

All I can think of is how Colin is
probably watching everything I’m doing, and how it’s wrong on so many levels.

I really want to tell him that
he’s sunk to an invisible low, but I need to get him alone first.

David sinks his ball in two
strokes, and then waits for me to go.

Needing a way to talk to Colin, I
hit the ball as hard as I can into the cave.

“Aw man. I hit it too hard. Looks
like I'm going to be way behind again.

We’re on the seventh hole, and the
cave is the eleventh hole, so I figure it’s far enough out of the way that I
will be able to talk to Colin alone.

I start to head up the hill, and then
turn back to David. "You go ahead to the next hole. I'm going to find my
ball, then I'll catch up."

"You sure? I can wait."

"No!" I say it a little
too eagerly, so I try again. "I mean, it's okay, I don't want to hold you
up. I'll be right there."

"Okay. I’ll see you in a
sec." He moves on, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

I practically run up into the
cave. "Okay, Colin. What are you doing here?" I don't even pretend
like I wasn't sure he would follow me to the cave.

Luckily, he doesn't pretend like
he hasn't been stalking me on my date. He appears beside me leaning against the
inside of the cave, arms crossed, just like I am.

"What the hell?" It's
all I can get out in my state of disbelief and anger.

"Exactly. 'What the hell?' is
right, Luce. You know I'm getting you back, right?" He doesn't wait for my
response before continuing his tirade. “I know you didn't promise anything, but
you couldn’t have waited more than a week before going on a date with Captain
Douchebag?"

"A, its one date. And B, what
makes you so sure he's a douchebag?"

"Were we on the same date?
Because the date I was on was with a guy who made you take a point on the first
hole."

I stare at him with a look of
shock mixed with confusion before I answer him. "
You
are not on a date.
I
am on a date!"

"You know what I mean. Not
the date I was on, I meant the date that I was watching."

"Not any less creepy,
Colin."

"Hey, I told you that I
wasn't going to play fair, and I'm not."

"You also said that you were
going to make things better, but yet you spent the last week working more than
you ever have- oh wait, not the entire week, you did have time to hang out with
random girls."

"Look who's been keeping tabs
on me." Colin smirks, which just pisses me off.

“I'm not keeping tabs. I just hear
things. And I didn't sneak into your date and throw things at her."

"That wasn't a date. It was
the research team for NionCorp.
I
wouldn't
go on a date with someone else while trying to get you back."

"Oh, that's right, you just
like to go on dates with other guys who are on a date with me."

"Lucy Marie Sayre, you are
driving me insane. You know, seeing you kiss him just about killed me."

I soften a little at his
admission. I know how I would feel. My eye-gouging scenario comes to mind.

"I didn't mean to kiss him.
It took me by surprise. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think any
other man I kiss will ever compare to you."

"Uh, no. There will never be
a scenario in which you kissing another guy will make me feel better."

I manage a laugh, and shove him
lightly. "You know what I mean."

Suddenly, Colin moves so close to
me that I can feel his breath on my neck.

"I'm not sure I do. Can you
be more specific? Are you comparing them to this?" He leans in, then
plants a soft, lingering kiss on my lips, before pulling away to look into my
eyes.

“Or were you comparing him to
something more along the lines of
this
?"
This time he intensifies the kiss, placing a hand behind my head to keep me
where he wants me, and slipping his tongue in my mouth. I accept it eagerly,
standing up on my tiptoes to reach him better. I almost completely forget about
David, until I hear his voice.

Colin, who apparently has more
sense than me, disappears as soon as he hears someone coming.

"Uh...you okay?"

His face, full of confusion, makes
me realize how ridiculous I must look. I'm leaning against the cave, no ball in
my hand, seemingly either playing hide-and-go-seek or just really enjoying the view...of
the cave. How do I explain this?

"Oh hey, Colin.”
Damn.
“I mean David."

Nice recovery, Luce. Now what am I going to do?

"I'm sorry, Lucy. When you
didn't come back right away, I figured you were embarrassed about the game. I
thought I might find you moping."

Okay, that works. We'll go with that.

Even though it does kinda make him
seem like a jackass, I don't think I could have come up with a better
explanation, so moping it is.

"As soon as I finished
playing the last three holes, I came to check on you."

"So you came to check on me
because it was time to play this hole."

"No. I was going to check on
you regardless. It just worked out. Now we can just pick up on this hole. You
can take par for the last few.”

"So we're still scoring. Even
though I'm obviously broken up about how very bad I am, we're still gonna keep
score?" I want to roll my eyes, but I stop myself. Colin is so laughing at
me right now. I don't want to give him more fodder.

"We don't have to. I just
thought we might make a fun little bet. Like if I win we go back to my place.
If you win, we go back to yours."

What the hell?

"I'm not... we're not... no
one's having sex tonight."

"Oh, no. I didn't mean...it
doesn't have to be tonight."

Deep calming breath.

I look up to the sky for inspiration.

Seriously? This is the date that is going to rip the Band-Aid off?

"I have an idea. If you win,
I will go back to your place tonight. If I win..." I pause for effect. It
seems to be working by the way he's mentally undressing me right on the twelfth
hole. "You give me a hundred dollars." I say.

"Okay... I'm like nine points
ahead of you so, whatever."

That is true. He is way ahead of
me. But I have a secret weapon in the form of an invisible ex-boyfriend who is
not, in any way shape or form, going to allow me to lose this bet. At least I
hope not.

Wait. Shit. He’s still here, right?

My worry fades with the next hole.
Somehow, I get a hole in one, while David gets it
really
close to the hole three times before knocking it in.

Would it be weird to take my invisible ex on all of my dates, just in
case? Yeah that would be weird.

Throughout the rest of the game, I
really get the hang of this whole golf thing, while David just can't seem to
get it together.

I don't even mind when, during one
of David's turns, Colin puts his invisible arms around me and kisses my neck. I
don't want him to think that everything is fine between us, so I subtly swat
him away… but I wait a little bit first, because it feels good to have those
kind of chills again.

By the time the game is over,
Colin has managed to grab my ass twice, kiss me twice on my neck, three times
on my cheek and once on my inner thigh, just above the bottom of my shorts.
Somehow he manages to touch me in some way the entire time.

Good news is I'm up by two.

"Were you hustling me,
Lucy?" David smiles, while moving closer to me at the same time.

 
There
is no way this guy is going to kiss me while Colin stands here and watches.

Before he can get too close I
wander off to put my golf club back.

"Hustle you? No. I wouldn't
do that." I wouldn't. Seriously. I really suck at golf.

"I had a really great time
tonight. I was thinking that maybe I could give you that hundred I owe you at
our next date."

I don't know what to do at this
point, so I give up and decide for honesty.

"I had a nice time too but
for some reason, I can’t seem to get my ex-boyfriend out of my mind. I have no
idea why." I aim the last part of my sentence at Colin.

"Sounds like you are in major
need of a rebound man."

I laugh. "You might be right.
But, not yet."

"Okay. Well you have my
number. Text me anytime. How about if I walk you to your car?"

I don't want to risk him trying to
kiss me at my car, so I decline and tell him that I need to go freshen up in
the bathroom before I meet my parents for dinner. We exchange goodbyes and I
head to the bathroom.

Once the door closes, I breathe a
sigh of relief that it's all over. Of course it’s not long before Colin is at
my side again.

“Deciding to be visible for a
change?” I don’t even look at him. I just focus on my image in the mirror,
fixing stray hairs and checking my lipstick.

"I locked the door. I just
want a little time with you, without the sleaze ball. It tears me up to be this
close to you and not be able to be with you.”

I look up at the ceiling and roll
my eyes in exasperation.

"Colin, What am I suppose to
do? Can you give me some kind of timeline here? Should I wait for you to figure
it all out for what, a month? Two months? A year? Is that what you want me to
do? Not date anyone? Pine for you?
 
Wait for you, like I did while we were together, with no end in
sight?"

I give up on pretending to fix my
hair and stare at his reflection. I'm not even mad anymore. Right now I just
feel sadness for us both. So close and yet so far away.

Colin stares back at my image. He
looks pained. So do I.

"You're right, Lucy. I'm not
being fair. You deserve so much more. And I'm working on it. I am. But..."
He takes a deep breath before he continues. It seems almost like he's choking
back tears. "I don't want you to wait for me anymore. You should be able
to date other guys. I can't expect you to sit around while I figure my shit
out.”

I surprise myself by saying the
words out loud that I meant to keep in my head. "I love you so much,
Colin. And I am really happy you were here tonight. You made my night bearable-
even kind of...fun. Ridiculously weird, and really uncomfortable, but...fun.”

He smiles before adding,
"but?"

I start to think of all the things
I want to tell him about how it's unfair to me to make me feel this way, but I
can’t bring myself to do it.

"No but. I just wanted you to
know. Thanks. For tonight."

Colin seems taken aback. He looks
at me for understanding, possibly waiting for me to change my mind. He must
come to the conclusion that there’s nothing more to it, because he pulls me in
for a hug.

"You are the most amazing
person I have ever met. And I know I don't deserve you." He pulls back so
that I can see in his eyes. "But I am so lucky to have had the chance for
you to be mine. Thank You for loving me for so much longer than you should
have." He touches his lips to mine, waiting for my reaction. When I don't
object, he pulls me to him and kisses me with everything he has.

I know his lips well. I can tell
when he's teasing me with his kiss, or seducing me with it. I can tell when
it’s a thank you kiss, or if he's missing me. I can even tell when he’s kissing
me because he’s done something wrong, and he’s trying to butter me up before
telling me what it is.

This kiss is different. I know he
loves me and misses me, but that’s not what this kiss is about. This isn’t a
kiss he has given me before. But it doesn't matter. I know him, and I can still
tell what it means. This kiss means goodbye. This kiss... is letting me go.