Believe Like a Child (25 page)
T
he next evening, after Lucy had fallen asleep, Alessa left the hostel and headed to a go-go club in the city. She had already talked to their roommates at the hostel who were eager to help her by minding Lucy. When she reached the club and asked for the manager, the bartender eyed her guardedly, “Wait here,” he directed. “I’ll go get him.”
As Alessa waited she took in the sights of the club. It was a much larger place than Doubles, but that was not the only difference. The girls who worked there were different too, but in a way that made her heart sink. They were downright sleazy and the customers—men of all ages, most of them piss drunk—didn’t inspire much confidence either. As the girls danced on stage, their clients kept reaching out to touch them. Most of the dancers were topless and a few were even stark naked. It was no wonder there wasn’t a vacant seat in the area offering a ringside view of them. As at Doubles, the girls who weren’t dancing were busy mingling with the customers. Alessa noticed some of them leading customers through a door next to the stage and guessed the lap-dance rooms lay beyond.
The bartender eventually returned and asked Alessa to have a seat at the bar. Ten minutes later, a short man with blonde hair emerged through a door behind the bar. He was nicely tanned with ocean-blue eyes. Alessa thought he was built well and his clothes were expensive. He was actually very good-looking. Had he been taller, he would have been perfect, she decided.
The man approached her and held out his hand. “Hi, I’m Parker,” he said. “What can I do for you?”
Alessa didn’t feel nervous at all. She had watched the girls dancing and knew she was way better at it than any of them. “I’m Alessa,” she told him. “My stage name is Rana. I’m looking for a job dancing. I have experience. Do you need anyone?”
Parker studied her from head to toe. She was decent-looking enough, he thought. She needed a little make-up and would have to do something with that rat-nest of hair on her head, but what the hell!
“Oh yeah,” he replied. “Well, why don’t you change into your costume and I’ll take a look at what you got to offer?”
Alessa had forgotten all about a costume. She didn’t have any money to buy one anyway. “Well, I sort of had to get out of dodge, if you know what I mean, from my last gig. I didn’t take any costumes with me. So I don’t have any to dance in.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Parker said. “This is a tough business. Okay, well, you’re wearing underwear, right?”
Alessa nodded.
“Let’s go in the back and I’ll take a look at what you can do.”
Alessa followed Parker into his office. When he closed the door, she realized it was going to be just the two of them. He sat down on a small sofa, turned on the music and said, “Okay, let’s see it.”
Alessa began to dance and was instantly swept away by the music. It came as naturally to her as riding a bike did to others. She kicked off her shoes and slowly removed her shirt. Next, she bent over, her ass in his face, and slowly slid her jeans off. She turned around and continued to dance for him. She was moving perfectly to the rhythm of the music.
After a few moments, Parker said, “That’s good, honey, but you need to take all your clothes off for me.”
Alessa had never danced completely naked. She had never danced topless either. She had at least worn pasties. She felt a little jittery as she unhooked her bra and dropped it to the floor. Her nipples were hard. When Parker’s gaze shot to them, he let out a small sound. It didn’t go unnoticed.
Then Parker said, “Come on, your panties too. But first stick your hands down them and play with yourself a little, before you take them off.”
You sick motherfucker,
Alessa thought to herself, but she really needed the work. Obediently, she slid her hand into her panties and pretended as if she were masturbating.
“Yeah, baby,” Parker said. “Come on, slide them off now.”
Alessa slowly slid her panties down and stepped out of them. Now that she was fully naked and alone with this man she’d just met, she felt terribly awkward and it showed in her dance moves. Parker assured her she was doing a “good, fucking job” and reminded her to keep moving. Alessa continued to dance and soon slipped back into a frame of mind where she was able to block out the rest of the world.
But Parker wasn’t done with her yet. “Turn around and slide your hands down your legs until you touch your toes.”
Alessa turned her back to him and slowly began sliding her hands down her legs until she was fully extended and touching her toes. As she looked back at Parker through the gap between her legs, she caught him unzipping his pants. She realized she was now fully exposed to him even as he urged her to “swing your hips and stay in that position”.
After a short while, Alessa stood upright again and faced Parker. Another song had started playing by then.
“Yeah, baby, that was good,” he said with approval. “Now let’s see how you do with lap dances. My clients love to get them here.”
Alessa reached for her panties, but Parker stopped her.
“No panties,” he told her firmly. “The girls here don’t wear panties when they give lap dances. Just bring yourself over here the way you are.”
Alessa complied, stepping up onto the sofa and straddling him. She did her usual lap-dance routine in this position, but didn’t actually ever lower her body onto his lap. He was looking up at her as he reached up and caressed her breasts. By now, Alessa had no doubts at all that he was a slimy pig. But she had no illusions either about how this worked. She needed a job bad, she reminded herself through gritted teeth, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t fucked what seemed like a million men before.
Parker slid his hands slowly down her flat stomach first, then ran them over her hips and caressingly over her ass. Then without warning, he grabbed both cheeks and grunted. He dropped his hands to her inner thighs and ran them up lingeringly until his fingers had slipped inside her.
“Does that feel good, baby?” he asked.
Alessa closed her eyes and responded, “Yeah, that feels good.”
Parker continued to finger her. Then he pulled back and jerked himself off with her still straddling him.
Alessa thought, “Well, this sure is different.” When he came, she quickly rushed over and put her clothes back on. She looked him in the eye and inquired, “Well?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow night, be here at seven-thirty.”
“I need 100 dollars to buy a couple of costumes,” Alessa demanded.
Parker pulled the money from his pocket and handed it to her. As she was leaving the room, he said with a grin, “Girl, you’re going to make a lot of money here.”
Alessa looked at him with disgust and replied, “I’m counting on it. By the way, that is the first and last time you will ever stick anything that belongs to you inside me. Don’t ever do that again.”
Parker looked at her. “I needed to try it out and make sure it’s okay,” he explained.
As she closed the door behind her on her way out, he heard her say, “Whatever, motherfucker.”
Alessa knew how to play the game. She didn’t like it one bit, but it was all she knew how to do. She was grateful to have a job, but in her new maturity, she wasn’t about to let Parker think she was his new toy. He had got a taste and now he needed to stand clear.
The next few days fell into place just as Alessa had hoped. Ebby had managed to get Lucy into the Penn Alexander School without too much trouble. The little girl was now nine years old and should have been in fourth grade, but she had been out of school for the past year. So Ebby put her into third grade to start. Lucy didn’t know any better and was just thrilled to be going back to school again.
A
lessa began dancing at the club. She had made up her mind that she would go for the big money and dance naked. The men loved her and within days, she was making the kind of money she hadn’t dreamed of. After she had been dancing for a week, Alessa took Lucy out early one evening to buy her clothes. She knew that eventually, the kids at school would give the girl a hard time about how shabby her clothes were and decided that this was the moment to get her some new things before the “new girl” effect wore off. Lucy was happy and content.
With every passing week, Alessa’s savings began to grow rapidly. She was making nearly 1,500 dollars a week. Working five nights a week, she was averaging 300 a night—more, if she had a steady flow of lap dances. She was frugal with her money and only bought essential items they couldn’t do without. Alessa took public transportation to avoid the cost of cabs. Only on the nights she left the club really late would she splurge on a cab, more out of concern for her safety than for reasons of convenience. Alessa and Lucy talked with Ebby three times a week now; both of them seemed well on their way to recovery, healing from the traumas of the past.
By springtime of the following year, Alessa had saved close to 20,000 dollars. This time, she was smarter about handling her money. She had rented a safety deposit box at a local bank where she kept all of her cash. She and Lucy were living comfortably on 500 a week and the rest was put into savings. Both of them were happy living at the hostel. While residents kept coming and going, the girls had no problem making new friends.
On the weekends, the two would go into the city and window shop. They would buy soft pretzels to hand out to homeless people. Sometimes, they would go to the Salvation Army and buy cheap clothes and shoes from there to give away to those among the homeless who needed them badly. Both girls remembered how hard it was when they themselves had been homeless and invisible to all the human beings around them. Alessa had established a rapport with the homeless children and adults. They could relate to her, because she too had been homeless once and was just getting on her feet. They respected and admired her for wanting to leave the streets, because many of them, especially the older ones, had lost the will to try and no longer minded being homeless. The younger ones, though, the children and the teenagers, often felt there was more to life than pulling food from garbage cans and begging for quarters. Alessa spent her days volunteering at homeless shelters, when she wasn’t studying for her GED. Every week, she called her sister, Rosabella, and talked to her, even planning for the day she would take the train out to Norristown with Lucy, so she could meet her niece, Eva.
In early June, Alessa arranged for Lucy and herself to have lunch with Ebby in the city on a Saturday afternoon. They had been talking on the phone for nearly a year, but hadn’t seen each other in all that time. At Ebby’s suggestion, they met at the White Dog Café in University City, a quaint little restaurant that was very popular with the locals. Alessa and Lucy arrived first, barely able to contain their excitement at the prospect of seeing Ebby.
The moment she walked in through the door, Alessa rushed to greet her. They hugged for a long time, before Lucy interrupted them.
“What about me?” she protested. “Ebby, aren’t you glad to see me too?”
Ebby leaned down and lifted the child into her arms, “Of course I’m happy to see you, sweetie!” she said affectionately. “Who in their right mind wouldn’t be happy to see you?”
Lucy beamed with delight as the other two exchanged a playful glance. Ebby was trying to assess both girls without making it apparent. They looked healthy and were dressed decently. She could see Alessa was happier than she had been just a year ago.
Once they were seated at their table, they all ordered burgers and talked excitedly. Alessa told Ebby she was taking the test for her GED the following week. Lucy raved about her teachers and her friends at school.
Ebby asked Alessa how much longer they intended to stay at the hostel and was told of their plans of moving out at the end of the summer, before Lucy started fourth grade.
The little girl perked up and asked, “Alessa, does this mean I won’t see my friends anymore?”
Alessa comfortingly covered the child’s hand with hers. “No, Lucy,” she assured her. “We’re going to stay in the area so you can still go to the same school.”
Satisfied with the answer, Lucy asked if she could get ice cream for dessert. They were all enjoying their time together. As they were finishing dessert, Alessa turned to Ebby.
“I’m nineteen years old now,” she declared. “I want to adopt Lucy and I need you to help me do it. What do you think?”
Ebby stiffened. “Alessa,” she said carefully, “sometimes, these things get complicated. Lucy’s parents aren’t around and the courts could legitimately want to put her into foster care. However, you might have a chance, given the fact that she has been with you for a year now and you have a stable job at the grocery store. There is an attorney who volunteers at the shelter. I could make a few inquiries without divulging too much information.”
Alessa froze. She hadn’t told Ebby she was dancing at a go-go club again. She didn’t want disclose any information that might jeopardize her chances of keeping Lucy with her. She turned to the child and asked her to go to the bathroom and wash up before they left. Lucy readily complied. As soon as she had left the table, Alessa looked intently at Ebby. It was obvious to her that what Alessa was about to say was important.
“Ebby, I’ve been lying to you,” Alessa confessed.
“Oh my, what now?”
Alessa looked somber. “I don’t have a job at a grocery store,” she told her. “I have been stripping at a go-go club since early December. I make an incredible amount of money and I don’t have sex with anyone. I strip; the men get off on it. Some of them touch a little, but nothing hardcore. I want to adopt Lucy, but what if they find out that I am dancing for a living?”
Ebby frowned. “First off, I’m not happy that you lied to me
yet again.
Second, I am very concerned about you stripping. I really wanted to see you doing something that didn’t involve allowing yourself to be exploited all over again. Third, I don’t think a court in the land will let you adopt Lucy while you’re stripping. Let’s face it: you don’t even show any money on the books, right?”
Alessa nodded.
“And fourth, I don’t want you to ever lie to me again. I am your friend and I love you. I will never judge you for the choices you make. My suggestion to you would be to just keep Lucy with you and not do anything that would draw attention to the relationship.”
Alessa was clearly disappointed, but appreciated Ebby’s honesty. It would keep her out of trouble. At that precise moment, Lucy returned to the table, cleaned up and ready to go. They could see she was tired. It had been a long lunch with a lot of excitement.
Once outside, the three of them embraced for a long time.
Alessa said, “Maybe we can meet for lunch once a month. Do you think that would work?”
“Of course that would work,” Ebby replied. “I couldn’t keep myself away from little Miss Lucy over here, even if I tried!”
Lucy threw her arms around Ebby and whispered in her ear, “I love you, Ebby, and Alessa loves you too. You’re our family.”
The moment brought tears to Ebby’s eyes and Alessa just looked on with joy in her heart. Her child—which is how she saw Lucy now—and her only real friend loved each other.