Believe Like a Child (30 page)
E
verything began to fall into place for the threesome. Alessa and Remo were deeply in love and Lucy was just like their natural-born child. Alessa continued with her college education. On weekends, they spent time together, walking the city streets, talking to homeless people and helping them in little ways. Sometimes, it was just lending someone a shoulder to cry on; at others, it meant buying people a soda or a cup of coffee. The three of them loved helping people in need. Now that Remo was better acquainted with life on the streets by listening to Alessa and Lucy’s account of their own experiences, he had become more deeply involved than ever in helping the homeless in as many ways as he could.
Alessa had her own special rapport with the homeless. It was clear to all that she was genuine and spontaneous in her encounters with every one of them and they loved her very much and looked up to her. She was particularly effective with young teenage girls, building a relationship with each one of them by sharing her own story. Disarmed by her honesty, they put their wariness aside and opened up to her, connecting with her instantly. When Remo witnessed the closeness she shared with these people who had, not so long ago, been virtual strangers, he felt lucky to have Alessa in his life. He marveled at the way she did it all so naturally; without ever being condescending to them or believing she was doing them a favor.
“I’m just like them,” she would often tell him. “They are just people with a story, looking for a happy ending. I know what it’s like to be there and how it feels to be so alone, even when you’re with other homeless people. It’s a struggle every day to remember you are a person, a human being. You have to keep reminding yourself that you deserve a better life. People who lead regular lives see you on the streets and pretend you don’t exist. They probably fear that if they see or acknowledge you, they will attract the bad luck which put you on the streets in the first place. After a while, you actually begin to feel you’ve become invisible. Then you have to remind yourself that you’re just homeless. It’s very humbling to have been homeless, Remo. My own experience makes it impossible for me to be judgmental about others.”
Lucy and Alessa often talked to Remo about their own misfortune in having been homeless. They described where they had lived and slept. Lucy would tell him about how she had learned to beg and pick through garbage for food and household items they needed. She took great pride in relating these stories, because to her way of thinking, it had to do with skills she had acquired that Remo hadn’t, because he had never been homeless. She felt that in some ways, she knew more than he, an adult, did. Remo encouraged her to confide in him and couldn’t help admiring the two girls who had learned to be so resourceful while living on the streets. They all felt fortunate to have found each other and Lucy, especially, believed herself to be the luckiest girl in the world, protected and loved as she was by both the adults.
One night, after a long, hard day, Remo and Alessa had just finished dinner at his apartment and were relaxing on his sofa, chatting the way they usually did.
“You do realize we’re coming up on our first anniversary, don’t you?” he reminded her. “I was thinking we should do something special to celebrate.”
“Oh really, like what?” Alessa asked excitedly.
“I was thinking I would get a two-bedroom apartment near here, so Lucy and you could move in with me.”
Alessa hadn’t expected him to make such an offer. After all, she was still going to school and wasn’t making her own money yet and Lucy was only nine years old. It was a lot for him to take on. Until now, they had just been playing house, so to speak.
Trying to rein in her happiness, she said, “Remo, there is nothing I would love more, but you realize that Lucy is still quite young and I’m only nineteen. It’s a big commitment for you and I don’t expect you to do this for us.”
Remo wrestled her lovingly off the sofa and onto the floor. “I know what I’m doing,” he said confidently. “Look, we practically live together now. We do everything, but sleep under the same roof. I want to be with you and you know how much I love Lucy. Don’t be such a downer. Come on, Alessa, let’s give it whirl. I can cook, you know.”
Alessa laughed. “So now you think you can bribe me with cooking? Well, okay, that works. Lucy will be out-of-her-mind giddy when I tell her. All right, fine. When does your chariot pick us up, with all of our shit?”
The moment Alessa got home she called Ebby to give her the news. Ebby was truly happy for all of them. She had, in fact, known this was coming. Remo had called her earlier and sounded her out on the idea before springing it on Alessa. He had been nervous about scaring her off and had wanted some reassurance from Ebby that it would work.
Ebby now said, “I think it’s wonderful, Alessa. The three of you are very happy together and God knows you all deserve to be happy. Enjoy the moment and try to hold the feeling you have now in your heart so that you can keep it forever.”
During the month that followed Alessa, Lucy and Remo were busy looking for an apartment that would be just right for them. While he made a decent living as a physical therapist, Remo wasn’t wealthy and Alessa confessed how guilty she felt about not contributing financially. She knew that once she left public housing, she would lose her food stamps as well. She told Remo about the 30,000 dollars she had in a safety deposit box, but he insisted she keep that money. Someday, it would come in handy when either she or the three of them were planning to buy a house.
“You danced your ass off, literally, to save that money,” Remo reminded her. “So some day, you can have a home of your own. The money stays put, until you’re ready to do just that. We’ll manage fine with the money I earn, until you get your degree and start your new career.”
After a month of searching and looking at apartments all over the city, a two-bedroom opened up in Remo’s building. The three of them went off to see it immediately. Remo filled out the application form and wrote a deposit check. The woman who had shown them the apartment told them they could have it right away. Since Remo had lived in the same building for years, she wasn’t worried about waiting for the application to be processed. Lucy talked incessantly about how Remo would paint her new room purple and how much bigger their new apartment was, compared to the one they were living in now.
It was a peaceful and happy time for the three of them. Alessa often reflected back on her life, unable to convince herself that it was finally coming together in such an incredibly smooth way, unhindered by obstacles. She believed in fate and tried to glean and cherish the positive elements in every adverse situation she had been thrown into in the past. She told herself that if all those terrible things hadn’t happened to her, she wouldn’t have had Remo and Lucy in her life today. The way she saw it, they were all meant to happen to bring this precious moment into her life.
“Sure,” she told God, one night, “it didn’t have to be a complete fucking disaster from the moment I was born. And I could have done without all the unwanted sex, but thanks, anyway, for giving me Remo and Lucy. I would say you’ve redeemed yourself with me. Please keep the good shit coming my way and send the bad shit to the bad people. Now there’s an idea. Amen.”
Alessa’s education was coming along well. She had decided, long before Remo asked her to move in with him, that she would get a four-year degree in psychology. She wanted to use it to help homeless people and abandoned or lost children living on the streets. She wanted, more than ever, to be an advocate for others, just like Ebby had been for her. She understood the importance of helping someone pick up the pieces of their life from the gutter. Lucy was doing very well in school. She was a bright child and a unique one. Her experiences had made her more compassionate and understanding of her peers than most other ten-year-olds would have been. Her teachers and classmates loved her. Back to school night was always a treat for Alessa, because everyone told her how lucky she was to have a sister like Lucy. Of course, no one needed to remind her about this. She knew just how fortunate she was to be given the privilege of loving a child like Lucy.
B
y the following weekend, both Remo and Alessa had packed up their belongings and vacated their apartments; they were moving into their new one. Remo had kept his promise and painted Lucy’s room purple. The child was ecstatic when it was complete. The walls were a pale lilac, set off by a white ceiling over which Alessa had stenciled stars with bright yellow paint. She had also gone out and bought matching bedding for Lucy, using the money they had made selling the furniture from their old apartment. She had, in fact, tried returning this money to Ebby, since it was she who had originally paid for it all, but Ebby insisted they use it for their new place.
Remo was beyond happy watching the two women he loved the most in the world find such joy in the mundane things of life that their deprived past would never allow them to take for granted again. He felt fortunate to be part of such a special family and wanted nothing more than to ensure that the happiness they exuded would remain with them forever. Of course, living together as a family demanded its own form of adjustment where the two adults were concerned. Alessa and Remo, who were accustomed to privacy in his apartment, now needed to be more discreet in the expression of their passion for each other. But the apartment was the home they had longed for and they all began to settle in within a couple of weeks.
Just when things were getting to normal, Remo told Alessa over dinner that he wanted Lucy and her to meet his parents.
Alessa cringed at the thought. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to meet them. After all, Remo had told her so much about them over the last year. He had described them as loving and supportive. They lived in Chester County and he didn’t see them as much as he would have liked to, but he talked with them every week. Alessa knew he had never taken a girlfriend home to meet them, because he had never really been serious about anyone until he met her.
Remo had caught the change in her mood the moment he mentioned his parents.
“What’s the problem?” he asked. “Too much, too fast? If you don’t want to meet them now, it’s okay. But at some point, I’ll want them to get to know you.”
“It’s not that, Remo,” Alessa replied. “I’m just not the type of girl you take home to meet Mom and Dad. I’m afraid they will think I’m not good enough for you. They sound like great people, but what if they hate me? I don’t want to disappoint them and you, along with it.”
Remo smiled. “I think if you can manage not to say ‘fuck’ for an evening, they will just love you.”
They both laughed, aware that Alessa’s vocabulary included every vulgar word that had ever been invented.
“What will we tell them about Lucy?” she asked apprehensively. “I mean, I would hate to lie to them.”
Remo moved closer to her. “We can tell them the truth. That you found Lucy on the street and took her in as your own child. No one in their right mind would ever judge you harshly for being a compassionate person.”
After much angst over the whole idea, Alessa finally agreed. Lucy, who was sitting at the table listening to the whole conversation, felt overprotective about Alessa.
“Remo,” she declared, “if your mom and dad don’t like Alessa, I won’t like them either, okay?”
Remo laughed. “It’s a deal. I’ll tell you what: if my parents don’t like Alessa, I won’t like them either. Does that work for you?”
Satisfied with his answer, Lucy went back to eating her dinner.
Later that evening, while Alessa was getting her tucked into bed, Lucy piped up, “Alessa, no matter what Remo’s parents think, I will love you more than anyone else in the whole world. If they don’t love you too, then I think they are just stupid. Okay?”
Touched, Alessa hugged her close. “Lucy, if you love me, then that’s all I really need,” she said. “Remo is right, though. I’m sure we will all get along just fine.”
Secretly, Alessa was taken aback by how protective Lucy was of her. She had always known the little girl loved her, but hadn’t realized that a nine-year-old could be so protective of anyone. Alessa was certain that Lucy would grow up to be a wonderful person, with a great deal to offer others. She was grateful to be loved by two of the most wonderful people in the world—three, if you included Ebby. She understood how far she had come in the last three years. Maybe God does love me, she mused.
The next morning, Remo called his parents about going over to their place for dinner the following weekend. He told Alessa how excited his mom and dad were about meeting Lucy and her. The two of them looked at Remo as he tried to alleviate Alessa’s tension over meeting his parents for the first time.
“Good!” Lucy blurted out. “They
should be
excited. My Alessa is better than anyone I know. That includes all of my teachers too.” Then she turned to Alessa. “What are we going to wear?”
Alessa hadn’t thought about that. Neither of them owned really stylish clothes. Nor could they afford to go out and buy any for that one evening.
“We’ll find something in our closets, okay?” she reassured the little girl.
Lucy nodded, but looked at Remo for approval.
“You two are always gorgeous,” he said fondly in response. “There’s nothing to worry about. Jeans are fine.”
All through the following week, Alessa fretted over the dinner with Remo’s parents. On Saturday morning, she and Lucy spent some time picking out their outfits. Lucy was going to wear a dress they had bought at the Salvation Army for Easter. It had a lot of purple in it—Lucy’s favorite color. Her white shoes were scuffed. She set off to the living room to find Remo so she could ask him to help her clean them up. Alessa picked a pair of jeans she had taken from Rhonda’s clothes when she left Plymouth Meeting and a white blouse with small green and yellow flowers. It was the most conservative outfit she owned. Unfortunately, she only had only her old sneakers to wear, but they would have to do.
Remo purposely dressed down, so that the two of them could outshine him. He had spent years as a bachelor and had plenty of clothes to wear, but didn’t want to make Alessa more nervous than she already was.
At five-thirty p.m., they left the apartment to drive out to Kennett Square, where Remo’s parents lived. An hour later, their car was making its way up a long driveway that led to a beautiful two-story house with a stone façade. The surrounding garden was artistically landscaped, with well-trimmed trees and bushes and vibrant flowers creating a rainbow of hues just outside the front door.
Alessa turned and looked at Remo as he parked the car.
“You never told me your parents were wealthy,” she said, her apprehensions growing by the minute.
“You never asked,” he replied. “Besides, they aren’t filthy rich, Alessa. They worked for everything they have and live comfortably. My parents started out with nothing. My mom is an interior decorator who made a name for herself early on in her career. Now she only deals with high-end clients. My father was going to law school when they first got married, while my mother worked. When my dad graduated, he got a job at a prestigious firm in Philadelphia. He was made a partner in less than eight years, which is a really rapid rise in the legal profession. Eventually, Dad and another attorney left that firm and opened their own business. It has been really successful.”
This, Alessa realized to her growing dismay, was nothing like the story of her own parents who had lived on welfare and handouts. She thought back to the house she had grown up in, complete with a rec room, as her mother had called it, filled with cigar smoke. They had made do with worn old furniture. They had a patchy lawn that got mown once every two weeks. When things had broken in her house, they had stayed that way. Caterina would glue, paste or staple things back together to make them semi-functional. They had slept on hand-me-down beds donated by relatives who were better off than them. She and Rosabella had shared a toothbrush for years and years. In Alessa’s world, Remo’s parents were filthy rich.
They all got out of the car and stood looking at the house.
“Wow, this house is great, Remo!” Lucy exclaimed. “I’m going to live in a house like this when I grow up.”
Remo admired her attitude, her confidence and her self-esteem. “That you will. You’ll have everything you want, Lucy.”