Between Hope & the Highway (46 page)

He glanced at the screen and wrinkled his nose. “
Star Wars
again, huh? I didn’t know you liked sci-fi movies.”

It was
Empire Strikes Back,
and I hadn’t liked sci-fi until Benny and Rawson turned me onto the space saga. I meant Benny. No one else had anything to do with my obsession, especially not that handsome, lying, deceitful piece of work Rawson Law…who I missed with all my heart.

As my conscience slipped that moronic addendum into my thinking thread, I shook my head. How could I miss that horrible man with all my heart when I had no heart left? He’d taken care of that, splattering it like a giant, paint-filled balloon, and leaving me with nothing but the ugly aftermath.

“Sweetie?”

I forced another tight smile. “Uh, yeah.” I chewed my lip. “I do. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about that charity gig Dalton wants to do in El Salvador this fall. I think I should go. I already applied for a passport.”

Worry lines furrowed his brow. “Honey, that’s a terrible idea.”

“Why? You’ve always taught me to reach out and help others. Dalton’s project is the perfect opportunity to do that.”

“It would be if you weren’t just using it to escape again.”

I pouted as I stared at the carpet. “I’m not escaping.”

“Are you certain about that, honey?” He took my hand and waited until I met his gaze. “Your mom and I are worried about you. Have you ever gone and seen the driver who ran into Justin?”

I whipped my hand away from him. “You mean the man who killed him?”

“Oh, my sweet girl, you know he didn’t wake up that day with the intention to kill anyone. It was a tragic accident…for Justin, for you, and for him. Probably more so for him. Can you imagine how that one moment changed his life? He lost more than anyone that day.”

“More than me? I lost my chance at having a husband and family.”.

He cracked his neck. “You didn’t lose those opportunities. They just got delayed. That driver lost his freedom, peace, maybe even his will to live. Surely with the passing of time, you can feel a bit of compassion for him…and forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness?” I practically shrieked. “I did nothing wrong. He stole the love of my life from me. I didn’t hurt him. Do you honestly believe that druggie deserves anything good?”

“I don’t know what he deserves,” Dad said quietly. “All I care about is you, and you don’t deserve the pain you hold on to so tight. Forgiveness isn’t for him, Lizzie Belle. It’s for you.”

I grimaced as he used my hated middle name. “I’m fine, Dad.”

He didn’t let my snippy tone or shortening of his name upset him. “Then why do you cry so much, baby doll?”

“Because I’m a hormonal girl.” When he opened his mouth to say more, I cut him off. “I really don’t want to talk about this. I have a headache and need to finish my movie.”

His slumping shoulders stacked more guilt onto my own. Grabbing his hand, I offered a peace offering.

“I love you, Daddy. But don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine once I get to El Salvador and start helping build that orphanage. You always taught me that our sorrows fade in service to others. I have faith that this trip will heal me and make you proud.”

He pulled me into a smothering hug. “I’m already proud of you, baby girl.”

I burrowed my face into his burly chest and inhaled the scent of sawdust and musky cologne. My dad was the greatest man I knew, but he was wrong. I wasn’t running from the past. I was running to a future.

Chapter 80

Rawson

My lips quivered as I rounded the corner and saw Mom standing in the lobby. The smile that lit her face as she ran across the room to hug me made me tear up.

“Stop it,” I muttered. “You’re making me act like a boob.”

She smacked the back of my head and gazed up at me as if she was star-struck. “Oh, it’s so good to see you, son. I’ve missed you more than chocolate.”

I chuckled as I leaned down to grab my suitcase. Time to leave this pristine, happy hell behind me. Ninety days in rehab wasn’t for the weak. I knew life wouldn’t be easy from here on out, but my counselors had motivated, inspired, and cheered me on while I’d been quarantined from the world. I now felt strong enough for battle. Let life throw her worst at me; I’d bat it back. In fact, I’d slam life’s crap right out of the ballpark. I felt like a new man…not the messed up, confused eighteen-year-old boy I’d been the first time I walked out of rehab and was ushered onto a plane heading to Palo Alto.

Mom walked to the driver’s side as if she would drive back to Montana.

I rolled my eyes. “Scoot over.”

“Don’t talk to your mama like that.”

“Sorry. I meant, Scoot over, ma’am, so I can be a gentleman and drive you home.”

She laughed. “You’re full of pickle juice.”

As I settled behind the wheel and pulled onto I-15, relief seeped into every muscle of my body. It felt good to be free.

“How is everyone?”

I caught a slight furrowing in her brow. “A lot’s happened over the last three months.”

A chill crept up my spine. “Like what?”

“Addie’s been really sick.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know. We’re hoping to learn more next week when Dr. Patterson gets the results back from her tests.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “How about Benny?”

“Junior high’s rough. He came home with a swollen lip on Friday, but won’t say who did it.”

I gripped the wheel tighter. “He’ll tell me,” I growled.

“Probably not. He won’t even let me take it to the principal, although I did talk to Mr. Daggerty on the phone before I left and asked him to alert his teachers to the possibility of Benny being bullied.”

“Damn.”

She hit my leg. “I hope you can spin a good tale about your time in Portugal, because he’s been extremely inquisitive.”

I blew out a long breath. “I’m going to tell him the truth.” My heart pounded as I met her worried gaze. “You too.”

“Is this the same thing that sent Liz running?”

I gulped. “Yeah.” I wanted to ask how Lizzie was, but in a few hours, I’d see for myself. I’d had three months to consider what I would say…how I’d plead and throw myself upon her mercy. She was kind. I knew she’d hear me out now that she’d had time to overcome her shock.

“Well, enlighten me.”

I clenched the wheel so tight my knuckles looked ready to pop out of my skin. I wanted to put this off, but had resolved to expose the truth as soon as I was released. No longer would I live on the lies Damon and I had fed everyone. My friend needed to be set free.

“The night of the accident…” I paused and wet my lips. “…I drove. Not Damon.” I kept my eyes on the freeway, not daring to peek and see the betrayal on her face. When she didn’t say anything, words tumbled out between heavy breaths. “I was out, so I don’t remember anything…but Damon must’ve pulled me out of my seat and buckled me into his. I never let him drive my Explorer. Ever. But I allowed you to believe he did that night because I was horrified by what I’d done.” I blinked back tears.

We were somewhere between Malad and Pocatello when Mom reached over and patted my shoulder. “Why don’t you pull over, son?”

Exhausted from holding back a Mt. Vesuvius of emotions, I obeyed. As I parked on the side of the freeway, she undid her seatbelt and pulled me into her arms.

“This makes no difference to me. I love you. It was an accident. An accident,” she repeated.

A sob tore out of my throat. “But don’t you see? It was me who killed Detrick. Not Damon. Everyone’s hated Damon for years, when it was me they should’ve despised. Benny’s messed up and getting bullied because of me.” I swiped at tears. “Dad will disown me.”

“No, he won’t. He’s never despised your friend because of the accident. He hated him because of how he pulled you down, even before that. The accident just brought everything to an ugly head.”

I clenched my jaw. “I should’ve taken the heat and gone to juvie, not Damon. I have to tell the Sheriff. Get Damon’s juvenile record expunged. Show the town he’s not the bad guy they’ve made him out to be…that I’ve made him out to be because I was too cowardly to own up to the truth.”

She touched my cheek. “Oh, son, nothing you say now will matter. Damon might have got a bad rap back then, but he’s earned it now. A few weeks ago, he was arrested for possession of a controlled substance. He resisted arrest, and was sentenced to two years in prison.”

“No.” The strong walls I’d built to support myself began to crumble.

“I’m sorry. I know you’ve tried your best to save him, but sometimes people don’t want to be saved.”

“I’m sure Dad was happy about that. Liz too. They hated him.”

“Rawson?”

I shuddered at the apprehensive tone of her voice.

“You knew Lizzie left, didn’t you? I thought when you called from the airport all upset that…”

I didn’t hear anything else she said. My heart began sinking to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, going numb as emotions froze and iced over in despair.

Chapter 81

Liz

As I saw my dad’s Chevy pull up and park in front of the office, I smiled. Just the man I wanted to see. My passport had arrived in today’s mail and I’d called Dalton to let him know I was good to go. Now I just had to break the news to Daddy.

My lips did a quick downturn when the passenger door opened and Daddy’s drywall contractor stepped out of the truck. Dad still sat in the driver’s seat, talking on his phone. As Mason—the man I definitely didn’t want to see—approached, I swiveled in my seat and yanked a file drawer open just as the bell on the front door rang.

“Good afternoon, Liz.”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Mason wearing a goofy smile as he stood in front of my desk.

“Hey, Mason.” I focused on the orderly files I’d redone three times already out of boredom.

“How’s your day going?”

I lifted files and dropped them willy-nilly into the drawer. “Pretty busy. What can I get you?”

“Uh…well, I thought maybe…um…well, your dad said that you…” He paused, and I wondered why I drew out such awkwardness in men.

“Have Cokes in the back fridge?” I finished for him. “Yes, we do. You must be dying of thirst. Let me grab you one.” I waved my arm at the couch. “Have a seat.”

I ducked around the corner and hid in the backroom until I heard the bell on the door again. Grabbing two Cokes, I walked out and ran smack dab into Mason. The guy grabbed hold of my arms to steady me as I yelped.

“Sorry about that.”

I looked up into big brown, teddy bear eyes. Mason wasn’t bad looking, if you overlooked his slightly crooked teeth and mole on his cheek. Those were fixable…probably. But I didn’t want a man in my life, no matter how good my parents thought it’d be for me.

“No problem.” I held out a can. “Sorry it took so long. I had to—”

“You’re perfect, Liz,” he whispered and had the audacity to back me up against the wall.

My eyes widened. Surely, he wouldn’t push this. I’d done nothing to encourage him.

“I wondered if you’d go out with me tomorrow night.”

“I don’t—”

“Your dad said I shouldn’t take no for an answer.”

I grit my teeth. “Sorry, Mason, but Dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

I quick-stepped around the corner and found Dad sitting in my secretarial chair looking sheepish. “Here’s your Coke,” I muttered as I walked past and entered his office.

He followed. As he shut the door behind him, I turned and pointed. “How could you sic your contractor on me like that? Have you been taking lessons from Mom?”

“Oh, now, don’t get huffy, baby girl. Mason’s one of the greatest guys I know.”

“I don’t care if he’s freaking Clark Kent. I’ve told you and Mom I don’t want to date…period!”

“Lizzie, you need to get out and socialize. You’ve been a hermit all summer. I promised your mother you’d get out this weekend.”

I scowled. “So you’re siding with her now?”

“I’m not siding with anyone. I’m doing what I think is best. You need to put Justin and that guy from Montana out of your head. Live again.”

“Don’t you dare lump Rawson Law in with my Justin. They’re nothing alike. Justin was perfect!”

Dad sank into his chair. “Justin was a jerk. You were just too in love to see it; and you’ve immortalized him in death.”

Tears stung the back of my eyes.

He pursed his lips. “I kept my mouth shut back then because your mom was certain you’d be happy. But I’m not so sure.”

I wiped my eye against my sleeve. “You never gave Justin a chance.”

“Believe me, I tried. I wanted him to be good enough for my princess, but the only person he cared about was himself.”

“That’s not true.”