Big Girls Drama (17 page)

Was I hearing this man correctly? Was Kegan telling me he made a mistake? Nine months broken up and
now
he realizes he made a mistake? I truly didn't know how to receive this epiphany from him. I wanted to gloat. I wanted to laugh and rub it in his face he lost a good woman . . . but I couldn't. I was even mad I couldn't. What in the hell was wrong with me? I remember a time I would be whooping up on his ass just for the simple fact he had the audacity to show up at my house this time with some BS Imani told him, but I guess I was becoming a big girl. I'd matured, if only a little.

“Kegan, you are saying this to say what?” I asked for clarification.

He stood and began to cautiously approach me. I watched him as he towered over me and instantly my eyes fell to his crotch, remembering the dick this man use to lay down on me. He smirked before lowering himself next to me on the love seat. Being this close to him caused my center to quiver with desire. I hadn't been this close to him in what seemed like an eternity, and now he was inches away from me.

With a softened expression, Kegan stared pointedly at me.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Something I should have done months ago.”

Kegan reached over and gripped the back of my neck, pulling me into him. He kissed me passionately. My body arched forward, aroused by his lips being on mine again. Bliss filled me as my breathing thickened from the pure exhilaration of this man being here with me. I didn't know what was happening or why it was happening, but I was definitely enjoying the moment. That was . . . until the sound of broken glass brought us back to reality.

Both of us disengaged, looking at each other with passion and confusion. The sound of more glass breaking caused us to both stand to our feet. I rushed over to the window to see Imani in my driveway taking a bat to my car.

“No, this bitch didn't!” I said hurrying to the door and jerking it open.

Kegan ran out behind me and saw what his fiancée was doing and yelled, “Imani, no!” before the clattering of another window being broken sounded as she swung the bat again into my ride.

“Bitch, get the hell off my property,” I screamed. As pissed as I was, my first instinct was to rush out and grab that bat away from her. But I knew if she swung that bat and hit me, I would take that bat from her and beat her to death with it.

“So
this
is how we doing things now, Kegan?” Imani said swinging again and putting a dent in the hood of my car. “The first person you run to is this fat bitch?”

“Imani, put the bat down,” Kegan demanded.

Ignoring his command, Imani swung again . . . and again, adding more dents in my ride.

I decided to call the police. She wanted to destroy my property—then she was going to deal with the repercussions from it. When I rushed back into my house to get my cell, Dempsey was standing in the living room looking at me with a hurtful expression on his face. I forgot he was even here.

“Where's my cell?” I asked frantically.

“It's on the nightstand in your room.”

I hurried in my room with Dempsey following behind me. I called the cops to report the incident as he stood near listening. When I hung up, I attempted to leave my room and go back outside when he stopped me.

“What?” I asked in frustration.

“I know we're not that serious, but you don't have to do a brother like this, Sonya,” he said, glaring accusingly.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, pissed that he had the nerve to come at me like this now.

“I'm still in your house and you making out with dude.”

“So?”

“So, you just finished fucking me. Now, you eager to hop on this man's dick too?”

I couldn't believe this. I didn't have time for this. Imani was outside my house yelling like she'd lost her damn mind, and I had Dempsey in my face playing the role of a wounded animal and questioning me about my kiss with Kegan. Didn't he know we weren't an item like that?

“You do remember, we are
not
an item, Dempsey. You are just something to do to pass the time away.”

I knew what I said sounded insensitive, but it was what it was. He knew it was just sex between us. Why he was acting like I hadn't told him this before was beyond me.

“Now, can you get out of my way? I need to be outside when the cops get here.”

He didn't budge. He stood blocking my path with his eyes narrowed in anger.

“Move, Dempsey. Better yet, get your clothes on and leave my house. How about that?”

“I'm not going anywhere so you can slide this man in my place.”

“You don't have a place. Not here, and not anywhere else because you still live with your mama.”

I knew I went too far with that statement, but he was getting on my nerves. Damn, I had turmoil outside and drama inside. This was too much.

“You can't talk to me like that,” he said inching forward like he was going to do something to me. Had everybody lost their minds tonight?

“Did you forget the cops are on their way? Now, I called them for Imani's crazy ass, but if you want charges brought up on you too, then go ahead and do something stupid,” I threatened.

He halted as his scowl deepened. But my words were enough for him to move the hell out of my way. I ran past him to get back outside, hoping Dempsey would gather his belongings to get the hell out of Dodge.

Imani was too dumb to leave. When the cops arrived, she was still arguing with Kegan, swinging the bat at him and my car until the cops detained her crazy ass. To my dismay, one of the officers that showed up was none other than Officer Damon Ward.
Damn, this is a small world,
I thought.

Our eyes locked, and I felt embarrassed he was here to witness this travesty. My car was destroyed by a crazy woman, a man was standing in my front yard in a tux, I was in my robe damn near naked, and I had another man in my home getting ready to exit at any moment. Not to mention we met with charges being filed against my shoplifting daughter. Talk about a hot-ass mess.

“You going to let them arrest me, Kegan?” Imani yelled in a panic.

“You got yourself arrested, Imani.”

“Really? You choosing this fat bitch over me?”

“Imani, please.”

“I saw you, Kegan. I saw you kissing her. We suppose to get married in a few weeks, and you're over here cheating on me.”

“You lose him how you get him, honey,” I yelled.

“Bitch, you don't know me.”

“Nor do I want to get to know your ghetto behind. Come over here again and see what happens.”

Imani turned to Damon, who had her in handcuffs and said, “Arrest her. She just threatened me.”

“That wasn't a threat. That was a warning. If I wanted to hurt you, I wouldn't have called the police. I would have handled it myself,” I stated, catching a glimpse of Damon watching me, but I tried to ignore his look of concern.

“Kegan, are you going to let her talk to me like this?” she said, bursting into tears.

To my dismay, this is when Dempsey decided to exit my home. He was fully dressed and still appeared angry about the conversation we had in the bedroom. Kegan and Damon noticed him as he made his way to his car to leave.

“You see. I knew this bitch was a whore,” Imani yelled. “Look, she has another man in her house.”

Leave it to Imani to put me on blast and bring attention to Dempsey and my torrid situation. Neither Kegan nor Damon commented as they watched Dempsey start his car and drive away. I was glad he was gone, but I wasn't glad Damon saw him leaving.

“Kegan, baby, please . . . Tell the cops to let me go,” she begged as she began to struggle with the officers.

The cops warned her to stop fighting them, but she was so busy concentrating on Kegan to care about what the cops were telling her.

“Stop resisting, Imani,” Kegan told her.

“Help me, Kegan. Make the cops let me go.”

This woman was delusional. Did she really think Kegan had the power to tell the cops to release her after they caught her destroying my car and damn near assaulting her very own fiancé? Even if he asked, I wasn't willing to let her go. I was pressing charges, not only for the destruction of my property but also for the destruction of my relationship with Kegan.

“Kegan, help me,” was the last we heard Imani say as the officers placed her in the back of the squad car. And like the maniac I knew her to be, this trick lay down in the backseat and began kicking the windows to the car. The officers had to open the door and restrain her to the point she couldn't hardly move anything. Then she tried to spit on Damon, which, to me, was a major violation. I just knew he was going to tase her ass. And I wished he did. But instead, he placed a mesh covering over her face to shield from any saliva landing on them. After doing so, they closed the door and proceeded to leave with Kegan's distraught woman. Damon gave me one last look before getting in his cruiser and driving away.

Kegan approached me as he looked at me sincerely.

“I'm so sorry for all of this.”

I shook my head as I looked at my car which looked damn near totaled, and said, “Your wedding money is going to get me another car.”

He chuckled saying, “I promise, I got you.”

I felt like those words meant more than Kegan making sure I had my ride repaired. The loving way he was gazing at me let me know he wanted more from me. But I wondered after everything that happened, was I willing to give him a second chance.

With everything that's been happening in my marriage, I thought it as a great opportunity to show up at church, hoping I would hear something that would help me figure out how I was going to make my marriage work. I also wanted to see my mother in-law squirm when she saw me enter the sanctuary. She did not disappoint. As flawless as she portrayed herself to the congregation, I could see her uneasiness when she noticed me enter the sanctuary.

First Lady Isabelle sat in her usual space at the front of the church, and to my surprise, Ms. Georgiana was not next to her. Oh, I knew she was in the building, but she made it a point not to sit alongside Isabelle for fear of how it would look to these good old-fashioned Baptist people.
Hypocrites,
I thought. Just knowing how conniving they all were ticked me off. I felt guilty thinking such unholy thoughts in church, but God knew me. Thinking badly here or outside of here was wrong, regardless. Still, I made a mental note to ask my God for forgiveness and pray for him to guide me, because right now, I knew the devil was all in me.

I looked over and was happy my friends kept their word to come with me to church today. Not only did Sonya, Kellie, and Vivian show up, Kellie brought her brother Victor, and Sonya brought Meena. I knew Sonya was going to be looking some kind of evil because she liked to sleep in, but to my surprise, she seemed happy.

When the assistant minister stood at the podium, he said, “It's praise and worship time. I know everybody in here has a reason to give God praise. No testimony is better than someone else because in God's eyes, it's all good.”

The church chuckled at the way he said it's all good, which brought a smile to my face as well. It was time to say what I needed to say. Isabelle thought she was squirming when I walked up in here . . . just wait until she saw me stand to give my testimony. Rising to my feet, I looked at my friends who clapped at my bravery.

“Now that's what I like to see. Someone who is eager to give God praise. Amen,” the minister said.

Amens rang out, and I watched as the first lady looked back in utter shock to see me standing. I smiled graciously at her. Then I shifted my gaze to Mr. Woods, who also seemed taken aback by me standing. Then I made it a point to smile at my enemy, Georgiana, who was sitting in the pew section to my right.

“Now you all have a small window of time to give God praise. You know how it goes. I'm going to sit down and give you ample opportunity. Once I stand, that's the end of praise and worship. Now, my sister, you have the floor.”

I watched the minister go back to his seat next to Mr. Woods and began to speak.

“Giving honor to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ . . . To the ministers on the roster, First Lady, deacons, deaconesses, and congregation, good morning.”

Good mornings rang out around me.

“It's so good to be in the house of the Lord one more time. I wish I could say I'm here every Sunday, but I'm not. I'm a sheep who strays sometimes, but I always return.”

“Amen,” some members shouted.

“What people need to understand is that there's a lot of individuals like me. Many of you were me. We want to come to church, but then we get lazy and decide not to come for one Sunday, which leads to many.”

“My Lord,” someone said.

“My mother called it a teeter tottering faith. I use to get mad when she said this to me, but it wasn't until I was on the brink of losing my mom that I understood what she was telling me. She raised me in the church. She hoped I would remain in church, but she knew I would run out into the world and do me because that's what most of us do. She told me she did it too. My mom's last day here on this earth, she smiled and told me she knew I would return.”

“Amens,” rang out louder.

“That was the prayer my mother had for me. She was dying, but she was still praying and ministering to my soul because her faith was anchored. She knew where she was going and was happy about seeing her forever home. She used her last breath to tell me never forget where my blessings came from. ‘Put God first and go to the house of the Lord and praise him.'”

“My Lord, my Lord,” someone said.

I paused, getting choked up at the thought of my mother who I missed tremendously.

“I didn't like coming to church because I saw so many so-called Christians sitting in the pews claiming to be doing God's work but sitting in judgment. Some talked about people. Some shunned people. I say some even tried to destroy people.”

“My Lord!” someone exclaimed.

“And I'm not going to lie, it angered me. I've been on the receiving end of this, unfortunately,” I said, looking at Pastor Woods who nodded but quickly averted his gaze. “I thought Christians were supposed to be trying to win souls, not degrade them to the point of them never wanting to come to church at all.”

“Say so, child,” an elderly woman said.

“I can easily point fingers at a few people in this church right now who claim to be Christians but have made me feel like church is the last place I want be.”

I noticed the entire time, Mrs. Woods didn't bother to turn around anymore to face me. I really wish I could see her expression, but it was okay. I was going to do what I came here to do.

“I've been at the grocery store and saw a minister, in this church, who I spoke to, and the man didn't bother to part his lips to me.”

Moans and groans reverberated throughout the sanctuary. I noticed each minister on the panel look around to each other, wondering who I was speaking about.

“But when I came to church, he was smiling and trying to shake my hand, welcoming me to the house of the Lord, and all I could think about was
now he can speak
. Was this all about appearance and putting on a show? Doesn't he know you can't put on performances for God because he sees through all?”

“Yes, he does,” many said, nodding.

“I have several stories like this. I've even considered naming individuals today because I've truly become fed up with the deceitfulness of people. I thought if I put them on blast, maybe this would be the wake-up they needed to do better.”

I looked again at Mr. Woods, who tried to look calm, but I knew he was sweating bullets under his robe.

“But what kind of person would I be?”

My friends clapped, and it wasn't until then that I was reminded they were here with me.

“I would be acting just like them. My mom was a wise woman who told me you are responsible for your actions and your soul. Never allow someone to take you out of your character. I know she's here with me today,” I said, looking upward as my eyes brimmed with tears. “Even now, my mom is holding my hand and letting me know that God fights my battles.”

Vivian was beside me and reached out, grabbing my hand.

“I'm sorry to take up so much time with my testimony, but I felt this needed to be said.”

“That's all right, honey,” another church member said.

“I stood, thinking this was going to go one way, but God intervened, leading me down another path. I know he's proud, and I know for sure my mother is proud of me too. Please, church, pray I don't allow my enemy to take me down. Pray I continue to grow, despite the negativity of others. Please pray for my strength in the Lord, and I will do the same. Thank you and God bless.”

I sat down and sobbed like a child. I honestly could feel my mother's presence in this moment, and it rocked me to my core. It was like her hand was in the middle of my back, telling me you're better than this and the only thing I could think about doing was making her proud. Funny how you go into a situation thinking one thing, not knowing God could quickly steer things to go in another direction.

Needless to say, my in-laws were relieved I didn't spill the tea. The fact I tap-danced around the issue let them know this could have easily gone another way. Trying to be the bigger person was not an easy task, and after church, I went over and spoke to both of them. They smiled and awed about what a wonderful testimony I gave. Again, this was for show. Many members were around us, and I knew it was all lies. But again, I felt my mother's hand on my back, telling me to smile and keep it moving. God has this. As much as I knew this, I still had my doubts. I wanted immediate retribution. That was the human side of me, but I had to suck it up in this moment and allow my mother's spirit to guide me down a more righteous path.

What was going on in my marriage and my life right now was challenging. Still, it wasn't as challenging as the secrets I'd been keeping for far too long. Maybe it was time to really speak my truth. I was afraid. I knew this truth could set me free, but it was also going to possibly rain down the biggest storm in my life.