Bleeding Heart (11 page)

He cupped my face in his large hand and I felt my body still. My breathing wasn’t easy and I felt so awfully torn inside - because I knew what his words meant. I knew what he was telling me - that he still planned to take revenge on my father for actions I still did not understand. I heard his words, I understood them, but I couldn’t accept them. I still had a month to make him love me enough to choose me over his need for revenge. I still had time to show him that forgiveness is the only way he will find the ability to heal the scars my father left in his wake.

“Calix,” I leaned into his palm. “I need you to kiss me.”

Surprise flashed in his eyes, but it didn’t take long before he’d reined in his shock and leaned down to press his lips against mine. Like always, his mouth against mine banished all thoughts, insecurity, and every fear from my mind. I was left completely open to him and I let him see into me as I kissed him with all the passion I had inside of me - my kiss speaking words I couldn’t manage to voice. When he pulled back, his eyes were filled with emotions I had yet to see in the cobalt depths of his eyes.

“You’re beautiful, love.” The sound of his voice was coarse. “I knew you were beautiful when I watched you, learned you for two years. But I didn’t know you were this beautiful. I didn’t know you were so innocent. I never guessed, for even a moment, that you were so pure.” His lashes fanned his cheekbones as his eyes fluttered closed and he breathed in deep. “I never thought you could mean so much - that you would ever become my most precious belonging.”

His words were a bittersweet kind of beautiful that I felt in my heart and in the corner of my eyes where the wet of my tears stung. He thought I was beautiful - and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he cherished my innocence - my purity - because it was my innocence and that very purity he now possessed to do with as he pleased. He owned me. I may be precious to him, but I was still nothing more than his belonging.

Calix lowered himself into the seat across from me as the plane began to move and I struggled to restrain my tears as I smiled at him through the soft sheen of moisture in my eyes. I was in love with this man - this monster who owned me heart and soul. And I knew, that even to save myself, I wouldn’t run from him.

Chapter 10

“Another glass of champagne, love?” Calix asked from where he was seated across from me. He’d dimmed the lights low, and we’d drank as we talked about sweet nothings. In the back of my mind, I continued to hear his words, and it was those words I was trying to drown as I held my empty glass out to him.

“Please.” I said softly and I watched as he poured the liquid into the glass.

He raised a brow as he watched me bring the glass to my lips. “Have you ever drunk to the point of inebriation, Nova?”

I shook my head, because I hadn’t. I had never, not in my twenty-one years, gotten floor-licking drunk. I’d also never had the desire as I did now. “No.”

“I think this will be your last glass, love.” He said firmly. “I don’t want you to have a headache tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I replied as I turned to stare out the window at the navy infinity of sky beyond the window. We’d been flying for hours and although I hadn’t been told the time, I knew by my internal clock that it was very early morning. I was exhausted both mentally and physically.

Placing the glass to my lips, I took a long drink until there was nothing left to drink in the glass before handing it to Calix. I could see by the scrutiny in his eyes that he was worried about me, but he also wasn’t going to say anything. And that was a good thing, because I didn’t think my drunk mouth was really all that tight-lipped. I didn’t want to say something I would later regret. I was tired, my eyes were heavy, and my mind felt fuzzy and a little dizzy. There was no doubt in my mind that I was drunk.

Yep, I was floor-licking drunk.

Calix unfolded from the seat across from me with the glasses in his hand and he walked away. I didn’t think too much on it as I allowed my weighted lids to close. And then I was asleep.

***

My body shifted. Something hard and warm moved against me and I groggily opened my eyes to see Calix. I was in his arms and he was walking - where?

I croaked somewhat unbecomingly. “Where are we going?”

“Bed.”

“In a plane?”

“Shhh baby,” he said softly and I felt my body relax in his arms at the smooth sound of his voice. My questions died. “Go back to sleep.”

In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think that my instincts were really very screwed up. So screwed up, I felt I had the right to sue whoever hardwired them into me. Because here I was, in this monsters arms, and I felt completely and blissfully safe.

I was obviously delusional.

I didn’t stir again until I felt cool air replace the warmth of Calix’s body. My eyes fluttered open and I frowned as I watched him move away from me after lying me down in a bed, in a very small room.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’ll be down the hall, love.”

“You’re not tired?” I asked quietly, watching his mouth tense as he looked down at me.

“I’m tired.” He said softly.

I lifted my hand to catch his fingertips in my grip. Pulling on his hand, I begged. “Don’t leave me.”

Again, I watched as surprise flashed in his eyes. “You want me to stay?”

“Yes,” Hell, I always wanted him to stay.
Always
.

My thought didn’t have much time to sink in before his knee was on the bed beside me and my fingers were curling into the material of his shirt. I was already tugging him down to me as I replied. “I do.”

“Nova,” He moaned my name as I snuggled into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Just hold me.” I said against his chest. “I just need for you to hold me now.”

“Alright love.”

And then his arms were around me. My eyes were closed and my breathing evened as I fell into darkness in a haunted mans embrace.

***

I quirked a brow as I stared at the cute white sundress Calix had plucked from the suitcase that had been packed for me. Or, maybe packed was the wrong word because I had never seen these clothes before. I was certain they’d been bought and packed right away for this trip rather than being pulled from the obnoxious number of hangers I had in the closet in Calix’s bedroom.

Beside the dress on the bed was a pair of gold gladiator sandals, a set of gold bangles and small gold-hooped earrings with a little over the shoulder white leather purse with gold metal accents.

“I take it I don’t need boots.” I remarked dryly as Calix stared at his chosen outfit.

“You don’t need boots.” He affirmed. “We’ll be landing soon, love. Get yourself dressed.”

“Okay.” I said simply, agreeably, as I eyed the outfit once more. It was really very nice. Again, it was something I would have chosen for myself (minus the jewelry) if I had been the one who’d done the choosing.

Calix leaned in to kiss the corner of my lips. “I’ll be waiting.”

I knew he’d be waiting. Calix was always waiting for me, but at least he didn’t need to dress me this time.

Again, I said. “Okay.”

Calix walked from the room, closing the door behind him as he moved. I turned to stare back at the dress on the bed, wondering to myself if Calix continued to choose white for a reason. Shrugging off the thought, I began to pull the clothing from my body before sliding into the sundress. It was adorable - a sexy kind of adorable. The cut of the breast was tight and square with thick over the shoulder straps that crisscrossed over my mostly exposed back. Thankfully, the dress was tight enough in the chest that I didn’t need to wear a bra - the material held me up just fine. At the waist, the material cinched expertly before the skirt fanned out gently in pleated lines that reached just above my knees.

Running my hands through the thick waves of my long chocolate hair, I moaned audibly. I’d slept with my hair in the up-do I’d worn throughout our wedding and the pins had dug painfully into my scalp. By the time I’d woken up, my head was pounding both because of the exorbitant amount of champagne I had consumed and the tight pins holding my hair in place. I’d rolled over, covered my eyes with my hand and cried that I needed a shower.

Calix had ensured I took a shower. First he’d helped me pull the pins from my hair and then he’d demanded that I down the two blue Advil pills and orange juice. Then, I’d lost myself in the run of the water until Calix informed me that we were on a plane and there wasn’t an unlimited water supply. That was when I remembered we were on a plane - to our honeymoon. And the fuzzy remnants holding tight to my brain released me and I sobered quickly.

Now, I was pulling on the gold bangles Calix had thought - or paid someone to think about matching to my outfit. Pushing the thought from my mind, I finished dressing myself before I glanced around the empty room. Calix hadn’t left the suitcase in the room with me and I wondered for a moment if he’d bothered to purchase any makeup for me. I wasn’t big on wearing much for makeup, but I did like a light dusting of powder and a brush of mascara.

Moving from the bedroom, I walked slowly through the small hall to the living area where I knew I would find Calix. The instant my eyes found his and I saw the blue lighten, I forgot all about my desire for makeup.

“Come here.” Calix said firmly and I realized that I’d stopped walking. Commanding my brain to tell my legs to move, I took a step forward and then another and another and another until I was standing in front of Calix.

He was handsome in his white fitted shirt and dark jeans. He wore a gunmetal gray watch on his thick wrist and my mind flashed back to the first time I’d seen him in the back of the limo. He’d been wearing a gray watch then too. I remembered the way he’d flexed his arm, his wrist stressing against the links of the watch as he watched me take him in - memorizing him. I knew I had succeeded that day in my quest to memorize everything about Calix. I knew every line of his hard face, the angle of his square jaw and the flecks of cerulean in his brilliant eyes. I knew the way he moved and I knew the way he held himself when he was angry, frustrated, ashamed, and tense. I knew his smiles - the smiles that were so beautiful were so terribly rare. I had memorized the way his ebony lashes lay against the smooth golden skin beneath his eyes in sleep and I also knew that when he was holding back, a muscle in his cheek twitched.

I knew this man.
The realization was startling down to the very core of my being. I knew him, knew him. I didn’t just know what he liked and didn’t like, but I knew how he moved and how he responded to things before he even responded. Calix didn’t really surprise me anymore, and that in itself was a shock because I hadn’t known Calix more than fourteen days. But I knew that he was beautiful. I knew that although his poison ran deep, was infectious, and held the components to destroy me - that this man was beautiful.

His hand moved to settle against the small of my waist and I realized that he was studying me curiously.

Blushing, I mumbled. “Hi.”

“Hey beautiful.” He smiled. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m wondering where you’re taking me?” I lied.

He narrowed his eyes, clearly smelling my lie but thankfully choosing not to call me out on it, before replying. “Still a surprise, love.”

I smiled. “I figured.”

He pulled me forward as he walked backwards to a comfortable leather chair. I giggled and he grinned as he settled into the seat beside the window before pulling me down into his lap. “Look,” he pointed to the window and I felt my eyes swing to the glass before my breath caught in my throat.

“Whoa,” I breathed. I saw blue and white. There were lots of both and my heart raced determinedly in my chest. This was familiar from my hours upon hours of internet research. It was one of the many places I longed to visit but could never afford. My breath hitched as I asked. “Where are we?”

“Greece.” Calix finally granted me an answer and I felt my eyes swing back to his as my lips parted. I’d been right.

“We’re honeymooning in Greece?” I whispered, feeling an excitement build within my chest that I knew I had no hope of restraining.

He nodded and his eyes watched as mine filled with tears of happy excitement. A loud, abrupt sounding giggle tore from between my lips and I flung my body hard against his chest, squeezing him tight as his arms moved around my waist and a laugh - a sweet sounding, husky, deep laugh rumbled against my ear. Pulling away from him to practically press my face to the window, I oohed and awed and mumbled to myself as the plane flew over the land of sienna colored sand, white stone buildings and deep blue oceans with speckling’s of blue-green shallow spaces.

A voice sounded over the space, informing us we needed to prepare for landing.

Again, my mouth dropped open and I whispered excitedly. “We have to prepare for landing!” I bounded in Calix’s lap. “In Greece.”

He was grinning widely as he watched my excitement bubble into the space before his hands settle on my hips. “We can’t land anywhere until you get into your seat and put your belt on.”

“Oh,” I froze, before leaping from his lap to dart for my seat. Plopping my rear into the seat, I quickly fastened my belt as Calix watched me with bright, amused eyes. “I’m ready.”

“I see that, love.” He chuckled.

I watched through the window as the plane lowered itself to the ground and from the corner of my eye, I could see that Calix was only watching me. I knew then, that Calix knew me. He knew me in ways I didn’t know him. He knew me in ways I longed deeply to know him. He knew my dreams and he had the ability to make them into reality. I wished I knew his, and possessed even a fragment of hope to make them into reality. I wanted Calix to have everything his heart desired, but more than that, I wanted to be the one who gave him everything he desired. The only issue was that I had nothing to give but myself - and he had already taken me.

The man had my body, my future and my heart. I knew it was only a matter of time before he had my innocence too. When it was all gone, when I had nothing left to give - what would happen?