Blood Beyond Darkness (8 page)

“Why didn’t she?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Aisling was fiercely independent. She did not want to need anybody or be under anyone else’s control. She was too stubborn for her own good. It’s why she and Lily became such good friends. They were a lot alike and understood each other like no other. They were more like sisters than Aneira and Aisling had ever been.”

“What happened to Eris?”

Lars scoffed. “He killed himself.”

“What?”

“His pride was greatly insulted when he learned his wife had an affair. Not only did she betray him, but she betrayed her Queen and crown with two Demons, one the Unseelie King, and now she carried a bastard child. Eris could not face anyone. His dignity and stature were his driving forces. He did not see a way of redemption after being so greatly humiliated.” Lars’ tone revealed contempt for Eris. He sounded like an ass, but it was still sad. He ended his life because of what my mother had done, although I did not feel too much pity knowing he had been abusive.

Rez and Lars were together, but I never heard him talk about her like he did Aisling just
now. I was pretty sure Aisling had been the love of his life. The one he loved and let get away. Before I found out I was part Demon, I never thought a Demon could love or feel loss.
Holy crap! Was I wrong!
They experience great sorrow, and when they do lose something or someone, the repercussions of their pain are not only personal but global. Fae, in general, seem to behave similarly. They hide their true emotions, though when they do crack, it was a catastrophe.

After learning about my mom and Eli, I shut down; the desire to destroy simmered under the surface. Growing up human allowed me to control my Fae tendencies a bit more. It might have been a good thing I no longer had my powers; otherwise, I may well have leveled another town, without
Asim’s help.

I squirmed in my seat. My next question had been bothering me for a while, and could not avoid it any longer. I glanced at my hands in my lap. “Is there a chance ... perhaps
...” I huffed out, holding my head high. Defiant. “You could be my father?”

Lars did not react; he did not even blink. The silence grew, and I wasn’t sure if he would answer me. The chair creaked as it turned away from me. He stood and walked to the windows. “I do not know.”

“Were you two together when I was ... conceived?”

Lars cleared his throat, his eyes distant and his face contorted. I had never seen him look uncomfortable before. “Yes. As I said, Aisling and I could not stay away from each other.”

“So ... there is a possibility you are my father?”

His only response was a quick nod.

I didn’t know what to do with the information now I had it. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. “Is there a way to be tested?”

Lars shook his head back and forth, still looking away from me. “No. My brother and I were identical twins. Human twins may have different DNA, but my brother and I were pure Demon, identical to the last strand of DNA. Only our personalities were different. There is no way of ever knowing who your real father is.”

“But she said I was Devlin’s.”

“Devlin was not certain of our continued affair. If he was, he did not say anything. But my brother was smart. I think he knew the entire time. He loved her and did not want to lose her either. When she stayed with him, he was willing to ignore it. He would have made a better father, before he went insane. Whether it was me or Devlin, she chose the man she thought would protect you better.”

“Why did he go insane?”

“Being the Unseelie King is not an easy job. He was not as equipped for it as I am. I think the knowledge of Aisling’s inconsistent love also slowly eroded his mind. When she died, he acted completely irrational and did not care about anything anymore. Destroying and killing were his ways of dealing.”

Crap on ash bark
. Between Aneira and my “father,” insanity ran rampant in my family. I didn’t fall far from that apple tree. I had thought my life was convoluted. These complications went above and beyond. Writers of soap operas need to take notes on my family.

My family.

As screwed up and crazy as they all were, I had one. Alive or dead, blood or not blood, I could call all these people family, even the Dark Dwellers. No matter what they had done, they were a part of me. I knew I would have to face Eli again, soon. And Lily.

Lars moved away from the window and turned to me. He seemed to pick up my train of
thought. “I know you are angry with her, Ember. You have a right to be. However, I think you need to understand what she went through. I may not agree with all the choices Lily made, but I feel she did what she thought was right. Knowing you now, I can see why she chose to keep her life a secret from you. You are far too impulsive and inquisitive. If she had told you anything about who you truly were, you would have looked for more answers. The truth would have gotten you killed. At first I thought it was a foolish decision, but now I think it was wise. She wanted to keep you sheltered.”

I played with the ends of my hair, looking down. I didn’t want to admit how much he made sense. But it still didn’t lessen the betrayal I felt.

“She did her best. She kept you protected for eighteen years, even when she wasn’t around. Quite a feat since you were hunted every day since you both escaped from the castle.”

I wiggled in my chair with irritation.

“Give her a chance to tell you her story.” Lars sat on the corner of his desk.

“Why should I?” Anger spoke the words before rationality got hold of my tongue.

“Because she gave up everything she had for you. Do not forget Lily had family, friends, a future husband, a home ... and she left it all. For you. She lost her best friend, all for a baby who was not hers and one who should not have even existed. The prejudice against Daes was at highpoint at the time of your birth, yet she raised you like her own. She was on the run, alone and scared, with a newborn. Lily and I may never get along, but I will always regard her with the highest esteem. I do not think anyone else would have done what she did.”

I bit my lip, feeling a wave of gratitude and guilt. Love wormed its way through my hurt and pain.

“She may have made a lot of mistakes, but she loves you more than anything. She gave herself over to Aneira and stayed silent through years of torture to keep you secure. If you cannot find a way to forgive her, then you are less like your mother and more like your real father than I thought.”

I kept my head down the whole time he spoke, ashamed of the anguish I caused Lily. A strong desire to see her pounded into my chest, gripping my heart. Now that I was back in the land of the living, there were so many things I needed to deal with. “I need to see her, Ryan, and my dad.” Kennedy’s face burst into my head. I bolted out of my chair, suddenly restless and angry at myself for not looking for her. What kind of friend was I?

“Oh, my god. I need to find Kennedy.”

Lars stood, his shoulders hitching back in frustration as if he was trying to pacify a petulant child. He rounded his desk and faced me from behind it. “In your absence, we have been doing everything we can to find her. She is important to us, too.”

“I know, and I am grateful for that, but I need to do something. I’ve been so selfish. She needs me, and I wasn’t there for her.”

“She is not aware of your absence.”

“But I am.” I bobbed on the balls of my feet, my calves constricting in protest.

“There is no way I am letting you leave here. The Queen may appear not to be looking for you, but we both know she is. She will have spies everywhere. Your death has become her obsession.”

“Lars, I can’t become prisoner here, too. I need to find my friend. I need to see Ryan, my mom and my dad.” Panic moved my arms around frantically. “I can’t stop my life. I can’t.”

“Ember!” His voice cut through my rant like a cleaver. “Do you understand the severity of what is happening? Soon, I will have an army here. Aneira is going to tear down the walls with
your stolen powers. The destruction will be beyond comprehension. Do you realize you are still the one who has to kill her? We will find a way to get you to the sword. It is our only chance. And if anything happens to you?” He trailed off. “Our chances are exceedingly slim. We need everyone at their best ... and alive.”

I still had yet to tell anyone the truth about the sword. Part of me wanted to stay silent and let him believe we had hope. The other part needed to get the weight off my chest.

“What if I couldn’t kill her?”

His eyebrows drew down. “You have to.”

“No. I mean what if something happened, and I could no longer obtain the sword?”

“Not an option.” He said it so firmly it almost stopped the words in my throat from coming out.

“Can’t anyone kill her? Anyone who has the sword?” My finger curled around the hem of my top. “Why don’t you do it? You’re the Unseelie King. And don’t think I have forgotten about our agreement. I never thought about it till now ... but why do you want the sword so badly, Lars? If you are so convinced I am going to become Queen, aren’t I handing you a weapon that can kill me?” My stare was full of accusation. “Is it why you want it? Something you will forever hold over me to keep me in line? To control me?”

His jaw clenched as he stared at me. “Your supposition is not the reason I desire the sword.”

“Then why? No one would desire a weapon so strong except to use it to control and destroy.”

Lars pressed his hands on his desk. “Such a notion right there will get you killed. Fae and most leaders covet objects and secrets to control and keep the game in their favor. What is the human phrase, ‘Those with the most toys win’? For Fae it is even more so.”

“You will use it to command me if you don’t like something I do?”

“Let us hope it does not come to pass.”

“You are such a dick,” I yelled.

“I am a Demon, Ember. Do not forget the fact.”

“I won’t.” I crossed my arms. “Good thing I can’t get you the one thing you want the most.”

“You will. You have agreed to the terms.” His lashes lowered as his focus drilled into me, forcing my legs back against the chair. “I am sorry, but we do not have time for uncertainty and stubbornness. There is no other option but for us to win. You are going to kill her, Ember. I am not the one who is prophesized. You are. If you do not acknowledge your part then I believe we are doomed.”

I swallowed nervously. “No pressure or anything.”

“I understand the task is a lot for you. As much as you may not believe what I say, I only want the best for you. You are my blood.”
Possibly my daughter
was left unsaid, but I could hear it in the pause. “If I could have it another way, I would take it, but we cannot. The task before us is our fate. Your fate. We must finish the war she forced. End Aneira.”

Something in me snapped. “But I can’t touch it, Lars! She put a curse on me.”

Silence stilled the room, pricking at my skin as he stared at me. “Excuse me?”

Licking my lips, I looked away. “When Aneira killed Eli, she said she would let me bring him back if I promised to never touch the sword again. If I did, he would die. This time for good.”

Lars’ face flushed red and his eyes swirled brightly. “And. You. Agreed?” He was fighting to control his anger, but his shoulders and chest tensed like steel cables on the verge of snapping. He suddenly seemed taller, looming over me. The room grew tight and small. A chill brushed my bones.

“Yes.” My voice sounded small.

His features shifted. No horns sprouted from his head, but his eyes glowed bright yellowish-green, and they outshone the flickering bulbs overhead. The bones under his skin protruded sharply through his now parchment-thin skin. His eyes went entirely black.

I took a step back. I had heard so many people tell me it was freaky when my eyes turned black, and now I saw what they meant. No white remained, just two black pools of fury. “Lars?” My voice squeaked.

He no longer resembled the good-looking, olive-skinned King but a monster from a nightmare. “Lars!”

It looked at me, and it felt like its stare went right through me, tearing at my soul. It took a few steps toward me. My instinct told me to run, but my legs only moved me back against the wall.

The Demon suddenly stood right in front of me, its bony fingers wrapping around my throat and squeezing. My feet lifted off the floor, his hand strangling my throat as he pushed me up the wall. Air tore from my lungs, like it was sucked out with a vacuum.

“Lars ... please stop,” I choked, my eyes beginning to water.

I could see my reflection in his black eyes, my face red and strained, desperate for air. His fingers dug into my skin, crushing my vocal chords.

“Lars ... Uncle.” My voice did not make it out of my mouth, but the words formed on my lips.

The Demon stopped, my body sliding back to the floor. It gave a sharp huff of air from its nose, and shook its head. Its features slowly turned back to the face I had come to know so well. Lars dropped his hand and stepped away.

I rubbed at my throat, coughing.

Several minutes passed while neither of us spoke. If he needed “time” to control his temper, I would give it to him. Speaking might only piss him off again.