Blood Beyond Darkness (10 page)

The mouth of the tunnel swallowed me and dropped me down the throat of the mountain. The walls closed in tighter, my breath a clipped, quick reiteration. Simply
breathe. Keep calm. You can get out,
I repeated in my head and kept my focus on my feet. Simmons stayed nestled in my neck and encouraged me along the way, “Almost there, my lady.”

Eventually we came out of the tunnel to a beautiful oasis. The spot was at the bottom of a gully. The mountain encased a stone cabin, and a waterfall feeding a small lake sat on the opposite side. It seemed well protected. You had to know where it stood, or you would never realize it was there.

My mom, Torin, and Thara stepped out of the cabin with weapons. All guns pointed at me.

“What is your business here?” Thara clicked off the safety.

“Don’t shoot! It’s me.” I held up my arms.

“Ember?” Mom lowered the gun a little, but she remained on guard.

“Of course it’s my lady.” Simmons flew out of my mane.

Torin let his arm fall to his side at seeing Simmons. Since Aneira had taken my powers, Torin and I no longer had a bond; he couldn’t feel me or sense I was coming.

Mom dropped her weapon back in the holster and ran for me, but she stopped when she got close. I could see her forehead scrunch and her eyes fill with tears probably not sure how I would react—wanting to wrap her arms around me but not sure if she was allowed to hug anymore. Since talking to Lars, my ire had dissipated quite a bit, though there remained a wall between us, and I knew she was leaving it to me to break it down or not.

“The alarm went off.” She took another tentative step to me. Of course. They probably had their place spelled up the wazoo.

“You guys should be on the defensive.” I looked at my shoes.

“I am so happy you are here,” she said softly, bringing my focus back on her.

I nodded, then returned my attention back on my feet.

“Well, come in.” She turned her body and motioned for me to head for the cabin.

“Ember?” I heard a male voice call from the porch. The familiarity of it caused tears to prick under my lids. I ran toward Mark. He came off the porch, meeting me half way. His arms engulfed me in a bear hug and squashed me with the intensity.

“Sunny D,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head. I clung to him with everything I had. This man was everything to me. There was no doubt who my “dad” was. “I have missed you so much.”

A choked cry burst from my throat, my vocal chords too thick to respond. He was all right. Maybe he could never return to Earth again, but he was alive.

“I love you so much,” I finally mumbled. He hugged me tighter before he kissed my head again. When I pulled back, my eyes landed on the burn scar on his face. I flinched, taking his arm in my hand, seeing the mutilation there as well.

“Don’t go there, Em. I am fine. Please don’t blame yourself.” The wrinkled, discolored flesh would forever be a reminder of what I was capable of. No matter what Mark said, the guilt would never resolve itself. I would have to live with it.

Only the sound of Ryan calling drew me away from Mark’s embrace. I went from his arms to Ryan’s in an instant.

“M&M.” He sighed in my ear.

Responsibility hit me like a punch to the gut. “Ry, I am so sorry. For everything.” I pulled back to look at him. The glow emanating from him earlier had evened out. It was hard to explain. He looked normal, but I could smell he was not entirely human anymore. His skin had a radiance models would envy. He had lost weight from being sick but was still the warm teddy bear I loved. The big difference was his brilliant smile. He seemed ... happy. My gaze went to Castien in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His eyes were on Ryan.

“Em, there is nothing you should apologize for. None of this was your fault.” Ryan’s gaze penetrated mine.

“We both know that’s not true.” I shook my head.

“Wow! Hello, self-absorbed.” Ryan’s hand went in circular movements around me. “This is not all about you ...” He tried to hold a serious look but failed miserably. “It’s about me.” A small laugh expelled my chest. Ryan could always make me feel better no matter what mood I was in.

“I appreciate it, Ry, but you and I both know you would not be here if it wasn’t for me.” I glanced away. “You ... we ... wouldn’t have lost Ian.”

Ryan looked at his feet. This time he was all seriousness. “I don’t blame you, Em. At first I did. Then I realized you were a victim, too. We can all play the blame game, but the person we should be punishing is the girl who killed him.” Samantha. Even the thought of her caused hatred so pure and raw it made me dizzy. “You can throw Lorcan in there for good measure, too.”

“I will get revenge, Ryan. I swear to you. Samantha will
pay
. So will Lorcan.”

Ryan looked at me for a few moments. A lot had changed since the last time we saw each other. He finally gave a nod, understanding and accepting my meaning. Ryan was definitely more of a lover than a fighter. But Ian was worth the fight. And the kill.

Ryan cleared his throat. “All this seriousness makes me want to get
ar meisce
.” He threw up his arms and turned back for the entry to the cabin. “Mead all around!”

“Mead?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Ryan is getting into his new world a little too well.” Castien chuckled, nudging Ryan as he went through the doorway.

“I am acclimating,” Ryan’s fingers curled into quotation marks.

“If that’s what you want to call it.” Castien snickered. Their banter was familiar and comfortable.

“We were making dinner.” Mom came to me. “I hope you will stay.”

“Of course she will.” Mark’s arm reached around me, leading me into the house.

Everyone drifted back into the warm cabin. It was bigger than it looked from the outside with the back part of it built into the mountain. Wooden floors and stone walls gave it a homey feel. Overstuffed sofas were arranged around the fireplace, where a warm blaze danced in the hearth. Fire still called to my soul, twisting around my veins. The flames curled and swayed with hypnotic grace. I stretched my hand out to feel the heat. But it did not acknowledge me or respond to the connection we used to have. I was nothing to it. I blinked and turned away, feeling oddly rejected.

I scanned the rest of the house. A kitchen was off to the left side as you walked in, and a huge wooden table sat between the living space and kitchen. A bathroom and what I figured to be a bedroom were on the right side. A spiral staircase next to the living room led to the second story. It wasn’t huge, but it was nice and seemed like enough space for the six of them, especially when most of them probably preferred to be outdoors when they could.

Thara and Mark had made venison stew, while mom baked soda bread. I assumed Thara had killed and skinned the deer, and Mark had cooked it. Mark had always been the chef in our house. Mom liked to bake but not cook. Now I knew she had people who had cooked for her most of her life. Her role in the castle had been far away from the kitchens.

Simmons took pride in helping my mom roll and knead the bread. Castien and Ryan set the table. Everyone played a role in this little family, except Torin. He plunked himself on the sofa with a cup of mead in his hand, glaring at the fire.

Even though I could no longer sense Torin, my Dark Dweller senses picked up on a heavy, angry aura which surrounded him. The anger and resentment discharging off him hurt me deeply. He had been so sure of his life’s path that when it didn’t go the way he planned, he couldn’t handle it. It was in his blood to be a soldier and the First Knight. He was no longer either. He also had been so sure of his fate with me. All of this was dumped on top of what Aneira did to him: the brutalizing and torture. How could anybody come back from something so horrible? Especially when the one you did it for falls in love with someone you hate.

“Hey.” I sat on the sofa next to him.

His lips pressed together, and his eyes stayed firmly on the fire.

I licked my bottom lip. “Torin, I want to apologize ...”My sentence trailed off. His jaw clenched, and his teeth ground audibly. “I am sorry for what you went through. What you did for me.” I shook my head at the memory of his bruised and bloody face when he had escaped from the castle. His nose had been broken, his eye swollen shut, and dried blood caked his scalp. “I can never repay you for your sacrifice. For always being there for me.” I placed my hand on his.

Torin jerked his hand from under mine.

Swallowing back the rebuff, I continued. “Torin, I am so, so—”

“You were the only thing helping me through.” He cut me off. “When she poured boiling tar over me, when she beat me with a spiked club, when she put me on the rack and pleased herself on me over and over as my joints were being ripped apart, I imagined your face, saw your smile, heard your laugh. It took me somewhere else. I could escape my hell for a moment knowing you were out there waiting for me. You were the reason I wanted to survive. Because at the end of it, I would have you.”

My fingers gripped each other so hard my knuckles turned white. “Oh, Jesus,” I whispered. There was a long drawn out pause, which felt filled with tension, sorrow, and unease. His body language expressed he did not want my pity or apology. Finally a hoarse whisper came out of my mouth. “You are free of me now. The bond is gone. You must have felt the truth of it by now. You can move on with your life.”
Maybe with Thara
.

Torin bolted off the sofa. His voice sounded low and tight. “Do you think I would stop loving you because there is no more bond? You don’t know me at all.” He took a step before he turned to me. “Everything I did was because I loved you. Because you were supposed to be my future.
My
wife.
My
love. Bond or not.” He turned from me and stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door.

An awkward silence packed the small house. Thara stared at the door and looked like she wanted to follow him. I did, too, but I doubted he would want to see my face anymore. I still couldn’t give him what he wanted.

Mom wiped her hands on a towel and came to me. “Give him time,” she spoke softly.

I nodded and looked down at my lap. Acid worked up from my stomach as I considered what had actually happened to him. Theories had mulled around in my mind, but the actual truth of what she did to him made vomit curdle at the back of my throat, a breath away from release.

“Uncomfortable moments like these call for more alcohol.” Ryan came over and handed me a cup of mead, a delicious wine made from fermenting honey. It was strong and tasted sweet and smooth.

Mark placed the stew on the table, and we all sat around the table. Simmons had been staying here and someone had built him a doll-size chair and table they placed next to me. It looked like Mom’s handy work. Like me, she also loved building and creating things. Simmons’ mead glass was a thimble. I knew if Cal were here, he would be yelling how his cup was no more than a shot glass and someone had better get him something he could swim in.

The alcohol eased the tension at the table a bit. Torin did not return, which was probably better, and everyone started to relax. By my second glass, even my guard against my mother was softening. I wanted to talk to her. Lars had helped me see I owed her a chance to tell her story.

Ryan, Mark, and I fell into our usual dinner banter. Kennedy and Ryan had spent lots of dinners at my house, and it felt uncannily familiar to have the chatter back. All we needed was Kennedy. As if Ryan could read my thoughts, he cleared his throat. “Nothing on Kennedy yet?”

“No.” I shook my head.

“I get reports daily they are out searching for her,” Simmons pronounced. “We will not stop until we find her.” I bit on my lip. I was too much of a coward to admit I had not been a part of the search.

Later as we carried our dishes to the sink, I leaned over to my mom. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

Her eyes widened, and she nodded.

Mark stepped in and grabbed the dishes from our hands. “I got the dishes. You two go.” He smiled warmly at us both.

Mom’s smile brightened her face as she looked at him. She placed her hand on his arm and squeezed it with affection. He smiled back, and his eyes were full of love as he looked at her. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment. I was happy they were trying to work it out. I knew whatever happened they would get through it together. Love like theirs doesn’t go away no matter how angry or hurt you are. It’s forever.