Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (41 page)

“I’m sorry,” he murmured and I smiled.

“Everything’s fine,” I guaranteed, drying some more tears, hopefully for the last time, and turned towards the couple that had helped me. “Once again, thank you. And I’m sorry for all this mess,” I added towards the employee, who had just arrived at the scene. He gave me a polite smile, muttering something about being glad we were all right, even though I guessed he wasn’t happy at all about having to pick up the dozens of cans still rolling across the floor.

I held Lea’s hand, thanking them one again, and towed him towards the aisle where I’d left our cart.

“Are you angry?” I heard his fearful voice and looked at him with an honest smile.

“Of course not! Why would I be?”

“You could have hurt yourself. You shouldn’t have helped me. Me, even if I’d fallen from there, nothing bad would have happened. It was really stupid of me.” I laughed at his unusual self-reprimand, and ruffled his unruly hair.

“I bet you didn’t even think about that,” I told him, now amused. “The only thing you thought was how to get to the tuna cans. And then you were too afraid to climb back down. Really, just like a cat!” Lea blushed, too embarrassed to face me.

“If it wasn’t for Master ...” he left his observation hanging and my smile faded away as I was reminded of his presence. However, I could hardly deny that, once again, he’d kept us safe.

“Yes.”

“But Mari, this is not the first time that something like this happened!” he noted, now with a worried, grown-up-like scolding tone. “You mustn’t forget that we’re not like you! You don’t need to protect us! You’re much frailer than we are!”

That was the first time I’d ever heard Lea so clearly stating the obvious, that he and I were nothing alike, probably not even the same species and, somehow, his words made me sad and angry.

“You know, if even you are going to tell me something like that, I’ll only end up more confused!” I snapped at him. “After all, aren’t you the one always using words like love, loneliness, sadness and fear to describe yourself and those like you? Words that, in my mind, only apply to Human Beings? When you tell me something like that, I really don’t know what to do. What is it that you really expect from me? That I’ll be able to see you like I see any other person, or that I see you as something different? Please make up your mind!” Noticing his surprised expression made me realize that I’d just poured out a big portion of my inner frustration on him. Still, and against my will, that was exactly where I stood — my mind telling me there were no doubts about the matter, my heart disagreeing stubbornly.

I thought I should apologize, especially for my harsh tone, because he couldn’t be blamed for my badly concealed anger. However, as soon as we turned the corner, my feet froze in place as I gaped in disbelief. Gabriel stood beside our cart and Michael was with him. And the vision of those two, standing side by side, left a foreboding feeling stuck in my throat.

Michael was talking with him, his bright smile as warm and joyful as ever. Gabriel, on the other hand, listened in silence, and, although he’d put on his friendly expressions, it was obvious he wasn’t happy with that sudden interference. Something in his eyes, that seemed to follow the conversation with interest, made me shiver. I couldn’t help questioning how Michael still hadn’t noticed it, or the eminent danger he was in.

I anxiously rushed in their direction, hoping to ease up the tension, and Michael gave me an even brighter smile when he noticed my presence.

“Hey, hi, Mari!”

I made myself smile and dared steal a sideway glance towards Gabriel, who to my relief, was already walking away.

“Hi, Michael,” I greeted him, glad that at least that problem had been solved without a fuss.

“Oh, and who’s the little one?” Michael asked, smiling down at the small boy I’d dragged by the hand, and my cheeks blushed. In my hurry, I’d completely forgotten about Lea.

“Ah ... um, this is Lea. He is ... Gabriel’s little brother,” I conjured up at that precise instant, certain that adding family to his side was much safer than adding to mine.

“Oh, then he’s your little cousin,” he concluded, bending forward, hands on his knees to be closer to Lea’s height, and smiled at the boy. “How old are you, Lea?”

Lea growled at his face between clenched teeth and hid behind my legs, refusing to talk with him.

“Lea! Stop that!” I scolded him, but Michael stood up, looking amused by his foul mood.

“It’s fine. He’s probably just shy,” he guessed, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. I frowned threateningly at Lea’s disdainful expression and decided to give my attention to Michael. “Listen, Mari,” he continued before I could make any casual conversation and his tone seemed apprehensive. “I’m glad I met you. I really wanted to talk to you.” My heart gave a jerk of happiness and my mind jumped immediately to the worst-case scenario, grasping for a fast, urgent escape.

“Hmm, right now is kind of complicated. Can we talk tomorrow?” I suggested, awkwardly, and he held my free hand, startling me.

“Mari, are you avoiding me?” His serious, almost pained tone of voice took me by surprise. His question had almost sounded like a statement.

“Avoiding you? No! Why would I?” I questioned him, not knowing what to say, and Michael looked away, restlessly changing his weight from one leg to another as if he felt awkward.

“I don’t know. It just feels that way, since the time we spent the day together ... and if it’s something I did or said ...”

“No!” I cut in urgently, desperately looking for his gaze that always seemed to avoid mine. “It’s nothing like that! You didn’t do or say anything wrong! I wish I could explain, but ...”

He sighed deeply and his fingers gently caressed mine. “Can’t you get free? For just a few minutes?”

I wished with all my heart I could tell him yes. I missed spending time with him and all the little things I’d been able to conquer, which I now had to abdicate from in order to fulfill my new agreement. Gabriel’s words echoed immediately in my mind, reminding me that I’d promised to spend the afternoon with him, and I knew there was no way I could accept Michael’s invitation.

“I’m sorry,” I pleaded with all my heart and he gave me one of his recently acquired comprehensive smiles.

“No problem. Another time then. Anyways, I’ll see you tomorrow, right? I guess I was just feeling a bit ... anxious, since we haven’t spoken since Friday. But now that I’ve seen you ... it’s kind of creepy, right?” he asked awkwardly, and I shook my head vehemently. “I know it is. But it’s the truth, and I’ve decided to always tell you the truth, so ...” He hesitated and my cheeks flushed automatically. Hearing him say those words made me really happy and sad at the same time. I wished I could tell him the same, but my truth was too frightening to share. With him or anyone else.

“Thank you, Michael. I’m ... really happy to know you feel you can trust me,” I told him, trying to be as sincere as possible. “And I don’t think it’s creepy or anything. Me, too, I also think of you, even when we’re apart,” I added, too aware of just how embarrassing that sounded, but the glow that surrounded his expression was worth it.

“You do? I mean, that’s good,” he said in one breath while Lea sighed impatiently. “Ah, that’s right, I bought a new book. I’ll lend it to you tomorrow. I know you’ll like it.”

I smiled at his enthusiasm, and because he was back to being the Michael I knew and loved. But, at the same time, knowing how my actions held such power over him made me sad. Because, after all, he was so much more than I! And it was as if I had the ability to destroy all he was just by averting my gaze. The connection that had grown between us, the same that I had wished for so fervently, due to the circumstances surrounding me, couldn’t make neither of us happy.

“I’ll be waiting,” I replied and Lea sighed again, making his presence noted.

“Um, it looks like the little one is impatient. And, anyway, I have to go.” He said with a gentle smile that melted my heart. “See you tomorrow.”

His hand finally released mine and I felt the air around me suddenly grow colder, almost as if my body temperature had been dependent on his touch.

Michael waved goodbye to Lea, who growled once more in response, and walked away. I followed him with my eyes; the rhythm of his footsteps that I knew so well, his shoulders straight under his jacket, his blond hair gently swaying with every new step. I wished I could run to him, closing the distance between us in a heartbeat, and simply hug him, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. But the binds that tied me would never allow it.

“Can we go, now?” Lea asked, impatiently, and I looked down at him in disapproval.

“You were very rude!” I pointed out and he released my hand, crossing his arms over his chest with a deep frown.

“Why do I have to be nice? I don’t like him!” he stated so frontally that it took me by surprise.

“Why not? Michael didn’t do you anything!” I defended him the best I could. Besides, everyone liked Michael, right?

“I don’t care. I don’t like him and that’s it!” he stubbornly retorted and I gave up, thinking that even in these kinds of things he was exactly like a child.

“Fine. Let’s just get what’s still missing from our list,” I told him, changing the subject, and Lea exchanged his pout for a much happier smile, pushing the cart towards the next aisle. Gabriel was already there, standing on the opposite end just like before, following us at a distance like our personal bodyguard.

Lea eagerly asked me for a new mission and I sent him to get some cheese, after making him promise that he wouldn’t be climbing on anything.

I grabbed two rice bags and checked the list for what was still missing.

“He asked you to leave with him.” I heard his deep voice as if he’d whispered the words in my ear, breaking my line of thought. Had that been a question or a statement? “Why didn’t you?”

Unconsciously, I crumpled the piece of paper I held. And now? What kind of question was that? When he knew the answer better than anyone!

I bit the inside of my mouth and decided not to disclose just how much his question had annoyed me.

“You said it yourself. I promised to spend the weekend with you,” I murmured, knowing he’d hear me perfectly well, and studied the prices of the different brands of sugar.

“But you didn’t promise,” he insisted and I frowned when I couldn’t concentrate on the numbers, ending up choosing the brand right in front of me.

“And what if I’d left? What would you have done?”

“Don’t know. I don’t normally think about things that far ahead. Do you?” I stood silent. If he didn’t, why did I have to? And if there were no certainties for him, what was I constantly worrying about? Worse! What was the use of worrying at all? “I see,” he commented before my silence. “What did you think I would do? Hmm, let’s see ...” He pretended to be thinking about it, and my heart quivered, freezing me in place. “Oh, of course, Stephanie,” he concluded, sounding amused, and I squeezed the shopping cart handle as hard as I could. When he put it like that, it almost sounded as if I were the one to blame for him thinking of her as bargaining chip in our constant wars.

“She’s my friend!” I finally exploded, turning to face him, furiously raising my voice more than necessary, and his surprised expression made me realize that, contrary to my will, I’d lost control once again. “My only friend,” I added, lowering my head, bitterness filling my mouth as I recalled that same friend wouldn’t even look me in the eye, much less talk to me, and wished I could cry, although at this point, I had no hope to be able to.

“Mariane.” His serious tone broke through my anguish and my head automatically turned to him. His dark eyes looked firm and decided and, although his expression wasn’t quite as menacing, the intensity of his gaze made me take a step back. “Just to make it clear. I never looked for her. She’s the one who came for me,” he declared, the only confirmation I had that he actually spoke being the soft, almost unnoticed, movements of his lips. His voice was no more than a murmur and yet I could hear it as clear as day. “If you think I take any pleasure in her company, then you’re wrong. The company of Human Beings doesn’t please me the slightest.” After the initial impact, my anger boiled even hotter. Not for me, I told myself, but for Steph. She had been deceived when he lead her to believe he had feelings for her! Deceived to the point of choosing him over her own friends!

“And yet you spend your days with her, laughing and whispering secrets all over school!” I accused him, noticing once more I’d talked too loud.

“Because, as you so kindly pointed out, not doing it would be a breach of our Contract. I‘ll admit that getting involved with her to begin with was a mistake. A bigger mistake yet since she’s your friend and I agreed not to hurt those around you. But, now that it came to this, if I just walk up to her and tell her how I truly feel, I’ll be breaking our Contract. You yourself made a point to remind me of that, or have you forgot?” he replied, keeping his cool as always, and I clenched my teeth, wishing I could hit him, or at least throw something really heavy, preferably sharp too, at his head.

“And so you decided to use her as a bargaining chip!” I demanded in indignation. “I can never understand what you’re thinking! You act as if this Contract is important to you, and then go out of your way to make sure it’s not fulfilled! Michael ... Michael thinks I’m avoiding him!” Which was true, I added in my mind, bitterness flooding my chest.