Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (48 page)

“But, I’m no one. I’m only Human!” I argued, by now too aware of how limited and frail Humans were when compared with them.

“Only! Contrary to what you may think, being Human is much more than being a
Deiwos
or a
Merifri
. We are mere symbols of the options you may, or not, make. If we were to see your world as a school, we would be your teachers, offering you paths from which to choose from. You, Humans, are born into this world, live your lives and, eventually, go your own ways to other superior worlds. We belong here. We were created because you exist. And would probably cease to exist if you were completely gone. Of course, as time went by, we also ended up creating our own rules and our own ways of living, and other objectives came into light. But the fact that we’ll never leave here while you’re simply passing by, that will never change.”

“Except for those who become
Se’irim
,” I reminded and he brushed a hand over his dark-red bangs that had fallen over his nose.

“Yes.
Se’irim
and
Gaal
are the exception.” He smiled before my inquisitive expression and didn’t wait for my question to go on. “The same way
Se’irim
were once corrupted Humans,
Gaal
were Humans whose wishes and actions raised them to a point where their Souls are too pure to remain in the Human world. When that happens a choice is presented to them. Either become a
Gaal
and join the
Merifri
in helping and orienting other Human Beings, or reincarnate once more into the Human world for a life of service. Sometimes they are asked to live many lives of service before they can leave for other worlds.”

“Service? Like in helping others?” I asked and he nodded. “Are the
Merifri
the ones who decide the number of lives they have to live?”

“No. No one knows for sure how that’s decided. It just happens that, after another life of service, the Soul goes on to the next level of evolution, to somewhere neither
Merifri
nor
Deiwos
can follow. However, before that happens, and while their Souls remain here, since they go on living as normal Human Beings, they are frequently targeted by inferior
Deiwos
in search of easy sources of power. Because of that,
Merifri
have decided to grant them their protection so that they’re able to fulfill their missions. And so, for every Human Being that decides to remain and go through with a life of service, an
Iaidon
, one of the second most powerful castes of the
Merifri
, is chosen. And they act as that Human’s guardian.” He concluded and I couldn’t help notice the slight bitterness in his voice.

“Guardian, like in a guardian angel?” I asked, my voice falling to a whisper as I recalled what I had heard the night before. “Like the one I ... should have?” His expression was serious all of the sudden.

“I see you heard more than you should,” he grunted critically to which I raised my head, sitting as upright as I could.

“It is my house!” I pointed out. “A house you practically invaded! Not to mention the lamentable state in which you left my living room!” I answered defensively, in the same tone he’d used.

“Point taken, I guess. And, as for your living room, I’m sure Izrail will take care of that.”

“I know,” I replied, but my angry facade was gone the next instant. “Am I one of these Humans? One of those that should have a Guardian?”

“You are,” he confirmed so pointedly that a shudder coursed over my body and I had to blink to make sure that I was still awake.

“But how’s that possible!” I demanded, falling back to my usual reaction, denial. “I’m no different from any other girl! I feel and think like everyone else! I have no special powers, quite the opposite. I’m usually so plain and uninteresting that no one even notices I exist. I’m too shy and have problems saying what I really think. Where can someone like this be so special? Worse,” I went on, nonstop, “how can you expect me to have some higher mission! I’m barely able to manage my own problems!”

“So, you’re saying we’re wrong then,” he concluded and he was right. That made even less sense. But I still wasn’t quite ready to accept it.

“Surely, you must be!” I insisted vehemently. “I probably don’t have a Guardian because I was never supposed to have one to begin with. Maybe you just mistook me for someone else!” He smiled softly.

“We’re not mistaken, Mari. I would never be wrong about something like this. I was, after all, a Guardian for many decades.” I silenced a protest and just stared at him. And there it was again... that bitterness in his voice. “Being a Guardian implies being able to see the light of a Human Being’s Soul, and that’s a gift I still haven’t lost.” I recalled hearing him say something like that, last night, about how somehow I shone? And my hopes of being able to deny all that madness became dimmer by the minute. “You shine so brightly that I can’t help wondering what stopped you from leaving this world. The way I see it, you shouldn’t be here anymore. Want me to prove it to you?”

Before I could answer, our waiter returned. He looked with awe at Alexander’s three empty plates, and with disapproval at my almost untouched fish. He went on offering us the desert menu, from which Alexander quickly chose two types of cake, one chocolate mousse, and a piece of apple pie. The man efficiently took note of everything and went about his way, this time smiling, probably content with the money he was making at Alexander’s expense.

“Prove it,” I decided, after we were alone once more, and he smiled, almost as if he felt proud of my decision.

“You say you feel like everyone else. And maybe that’s true. You’re only Human, after all. But you can hardly express your feelings like the rest of them, or am I wrong?” I was kind of taken aback by that and unconsciously started chewing at the insides of my mouth. “Humans like you can only express what the Soul feels. I’m sure you’ve noticed it by now.”

“I really wouldn’t know,” I answered, again defensively, unable to avoid the feeling of getting unexpectedly slapped across the face.

He was right, I thought, mentally reviewing my life up till then. I’d always been rather odd, as feelings were concerned. I wasn’t sure about that ‘Soul’s feelings’ thing he was talking about, though. Shouldn’t feelings from the Soul be grand and magnificent? I would expect them to fill me completely or to raise me high up, making me soar amongst the clouds. I’d never felt anything even remotely like that. I usually felt half numb, aimlessly wandering through a gray world, desperately trying to mimic the right reactions, since I had no emotions to go with them. In my heart nothing really mattered, or at least nothing had really nattered until I’d met Michael. But then, as soon as he was gone from my sight, I went back to being that gray mirror poorly trying to reflect the world outside. And that was all well. I’d been used to it by now. Used to the daily theater. Used to the emptiness. Used to always be the introverted girl, who never quite knew what to say, or when to say it, or even when to laugh. Until he’d appear in my room, turning everything upside down, filling my dull, empty, gray world with terror and fear.

“I just know that whenever I want to cry, or feel like it, I just can’t,” I told him in defeat. And yet, I had no difficulty shedding tears every time he came close to me, even when I didn’t want them to appear. Now that I thought about it, something must have been really wrong with me.

“Your tears don’t belong to your heart,” he explained. “Like your smiles, and your laughter, or angry expressions. They don’t obey your Human feelings.” He went on condescendingly, as if afraid that this subject might bother me more than all the other, much darker things that he’d told me before.

“Then the tears that I did cry ...”

“Belonged to your Soul.”

The waiter returned, balancing three small plates on one arm and holding another in his hand. He cheerfully placed them on the table, wishing us a good appetite. Alexander didn’t even hesitate, voraciously attacking the closest dish, a generous piece of strawberries and cream sponge cake. It was almost as he hadn’t eaten anything at all.

My mind, however, was too engaged in other things to ponder about that for long. My heart and my Soul both existed inside me, but each one with their own feelings, probably their own wills, almost like two distinct identities. I was far from being merely odd, I thought bitterly. Still, I’d have more than enough time to mull over that later on. Now there were still questions I wanted to ask, not knowing if I’d ever have the chance to talk to him alone again.

“Let’s assume I accept that being different thing. He said my Guardian is asleep. Is that true?”

“Yes. And, as much as it displeases me, I can’t help but agree with Izrail,” he said, his voice sounding colder than usual.

“That he fell asleep by his own free will? That he just ... abandoned me?” I asked and laughed ironically. “That’s just me! After all, why shouldn’t he. What could possibly have made him stay?”

“You really shouldn’t sell yourself short, like that,” he responded, putting down his fork.

“That’s not the case. I mean, even if you say I’m this wonderful, powerful being, I really can’t see it. All I see are limitations, flaws, things that could really use some improvement, and a growing propensity towards madness. Who, in his right mind, would want to watch over that for a whole life? I know I wouldn’t!” Alexander pushed a small plate over to me and I stared down at the piece of chocolate caramel nut cake looking back at me. “Is this supposed to comfort me?”

“From my experience, Human Beings tend to eat sweet things when they’re feeling down, especially young girls like you,” he answered, his tone so clinical that I couldn’t help laugh. It was almost as if he’d just recited a rule from some book on how to deal with Humans.

“You really know a lot about us, unlike Gabriel or Lea,” I observed, picking up the small fork and cutting a piece from my dark-brown cake. Sure enough, the sweetness that filled my mouth erased the bitterness that covered my throat like a cloak, lifting my mood.

“Because, unlike them, I spent many years among you. Izrail rarely leaves his dark hole. Even now, he only came to your world because he had to.”

“The war?” I asked, cutting another small piece of cake, and Alexander smiled, looking happy that I was enjoying his gift.

“Yes. A hundred years of war for a thousand years of leadership. That’s how it’s decided who will rule our world in the next thousand years. Nine hundred years after a Supreme Ruler is chosen the command is given for the start of the One-hundred-year War. To participate in that, and thus have a shot at being the next Supreme Ruler, all the clans send to the Human world their best and most powerful
Deiwos
. Izrail’s clan, which through his interference became mine too, is currently also the Supreme Ruler’s clan. That means that our leader is the Supreme Ruler of all and I can guarantee you that he does not wish to give up his position. And so, Izrail and I, and many others, were sent here to battle among ourselves, until there’s only one left.”

“So, does that mean that whoever wins the war is the next, hum, Supreme Ruler?” I asked, looking for the right words and he shook his head.

“Not necessarily. It means the leader of the wining clan will be the ruler. For example, if I were to win the war, the leader of our clan would get to keep his current position. In order for me to be the Supreme Ruler, I’d first have to challenge him personally and win, of course.”

“And you’re forced to fight in this war?” I asked and he laughed, scrapping the bottom of his, now empty, chocolate mousse bowl.

“Being able to refuse means being able to choose in the first place. And that is something we never possessed to begin with.”

“So, how long has this war been going on for?

“Ninety-six years.”

“Ninety-six! You’ve been in our world for ninety-six years?” I asked in disbelief, eyes wide opened, and his silence was all the answer I needed. “Then, he was Sealed during this war,” I concluded after some mental calculations.

“Izrail’s Brothers Sealed him in order to lower the competition, since trying to kill him would be too dangerous. In any case, I guess that from his perspective, you freed him too soon, Mari. I think he’d much rather stay where he was, surrounded by nothingness and darkness for a few more years than have anything to do with this war. I, on the other hand, am eternally grateful to you for freeing him when you did. Without his help I’d have very little chance of ever surviving till the end. After all, no matter how strong a
Mazzikin
is, he’ll never be a
Shedim
.”

“Because he agreed to protect you,” I pointed out and Alexander pulled the plate with chocolate cake back to him, determined to finish what I’d started and seemed unwilling to finish.

“To tell you the truth, I knew he’d never refuse me. Izrail has a bad temper and, most of the times, I can hardly understand what he’s thinking, but in the end, he’d never be able to refuse helping someone weaker than him. All that talk about agreements and exchanges was only a way to make him accept me sticking around, without having to argue with him any further, or ending up hurting his pride. Because even though he may not have any interest in this war, Izrail hates losing, and so he won’t hesitate for a second before destroying anyone who dares attack him. Besides, since he’s stuck on this piece of land, he’ll become an even easier target and he’ll need all the help he can get.”