Blue Persuasion (11 page)

“Are you always this open?” he asked

“No, definitely not, but if you mean honest, usually.”

“Fair enough.”

“At least in our case I know you want me for my body. The very thing I’ve strived to stay away from. And yes, Katness is based on me, on my insecurities and my desire for deep connections. My friends are everything to me, even when I get jealous or feel slighted. Now that Bond seems open to the idea of telling the group about us, I’m not sure I want it.”

He leaned forward and took my hand into his cozy palms. “Why?”

“Because it will shift the dynamic, and I’m not sure I want it to. Now, it’s more cut and dry and that’s so much better for me than ambiguity. If the group knows, then whom does Bond give his attention to? I’m plenty used to it not being me when the gang’s together. Part of me thinks it might be a relief to Jacqs, and the other part thinks it might sever our friendship. I don’t know. Maybe it would be worth it if we had potential for the long-term, but we don’t.”

“Why not?” he said, circling his finger around my palm.

“That’s very distracting.”

“It’s meant to be.” He leaned forward and kissed the side of my head.

I waited until his eyes returned to mine. “I don’t love Bond like that, and he definitely doesn’t love me like he loves Jacqs.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

“Once, at least I thought I was, but I was young. Not as an adult.”

“Who was it?”

I shook my head. I wasn’t about to bare my soul to a man who had no intentions of doing the same. My brother’s best friend broke my heart irrevocably. But unlike Tate, I hadn’t entirely given up on love. “You’re only forty-three, right?”

“Yes.”

“You could easily live another forty or fifty years.”

“So?”

“That seems like a long time to go without sharing your life with someone. I’m not asking, I’m just saying. I don’t have the greatest outlook on love, especially since men seem to only want me at a distance.”

Tate cringed at my comment. “That has nothing to do with you, Blue. I haven’t wanted anyone at all in over three years.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’m saying yes. For as long as I can take it or until I meet Mr. I-want-all-of-you.”

“And dating other people?” he asked.

“I can and you can’t.”

He pulled me onto his lap and tickled my sides. “And you think that’s fair?”

“Completely fair. You don’t want more, and I do.”

“Okay. Now kiss me.”

And I did, over and over until his hands began to roam. “Oh,” I moaned. “Your hands swallow me up.”

“Take off your bra,” he said, kissing his way down my neck.

“Just my bra?”

“Yes.”

I reached back, unhooked the four clasps, and pulled the straps off through the armholes of my black tank. Then I smoothed the shirt back down.

Over the top, he traced the outline of my breast with his fingers, circling my nipples, but not touching them. “Beautiful. I mean, truly.” Then his hands each held one as if weighing them. “I want you for more than just your body.”

“Says the man holding my boobs. Uh huh.”

He shoved me onto my back, one hand lifting my shirt, the other snaking into my shorts. “I also want you for what I can do to your body.” His warm hand massaged my breast while his potent fingers adroitly circled my clit.

I groaned against his mouth as his full, soft lips collided with mine. “Holy smokes!”

Then his blessed mouth lowered over my right nipple, and my back arched over the extreme suction. His teeth grazed back and forth over the tip.

My pussy flushed in excitement.

“You like that,” he grunted. He moved his mouth to my other nipple, giving it equal attention all the while his fingers tapped against my clit.

“Harder,” I moaned.

He bit down hard, and I cried out into the night.

“Shhh, you can be so loud.”

I started giggling and shaking. “Me? You should hear yourself.”

“Do I need to tickle you again?”

“If you mean tickle my clit, then yes. You’re doing a fine job. Do you have the condoms with you?”

“No, I left them in your right end table.”

“I’m on the pill.”

“I won’t have sex without them.”

“I get it. So are we done?” I sat up, his hand still lodged in my shorts.

“Not even close.” He pulled off his shirt and situated me between his legs with my back against his chest.

I yanked my shirt over my head and sighed back into the heat of his body.

“Take off your shorts.”

I quickly kicked them and my panties away and resettled myself against him.

His large hands sculpted my body, caressing every inch of my skin. One hand scooped up my breast, twisting my nipple with his fingers and the other spread my thighs wide and played in my wetness. The warmth of his mouth settled on the back of my neck, teasing with his tongue and teeth.

I tilted my head back and gasped over all the competing titillation. “Please,” I called out.

“Kiss me.” He shifted me slightly so he could dip his head over my shoulder and ensnare my lips.

I groaned into his mouth, tasting him, feasting on his flavor and scent.

He held me tightly against him as my orgasm began to quake.

I broke off the kiss and stared out at the ocean as the contractions shook me. My soul road the waves, up and down, until it flew back to me. “Holy whoa.”

He chuckled against my neck. “You have a fondness for the word, ‘holy,’ I’ve come to discover.”

“Holy shit that was good.” Smiling, I pivoted sideways as he wrapped me up in his arms. I sighed against his chest. “Someone needs some attention,” I whispered, touching the hard heat against his thigh.

“Not tonight.”

“What do you mean? Why?” I looked up into his dark eyes.

“I want you to come to my house, soon.”

“Will you let me play with it? I haven’t gotten to taste you yet.”

Smoothing my hair against my head and down my back, he said, “We have plenty of time for all of it.”

“Do we?” Truthfully, I had no idea how long I could keep my heart out of it, but I felt determined to try. “What time is it?” I searched my discarded shorts for my phone.

He got to his first. “Two-thirty-seven. Time for a swim?”

“No. I’ve got to go soon.”

“Early day tomorrow?”

“No ... I—”

“I see.”

“I’m not going to—”

“It’s none of my business.” He pulled his encompassing body heat away from me and began to dress.

“Don’t be like that,” I said, staring up at him.

My warm lover had morphed back into his cold, hard self, his lips turned down, the crease on his forehead pronounced. “It’s going to take some adjusting,” he said.

“On both our parts.” I pulled on my panties and shorts.

“Yes, I suppose that’s true. Can we at least agree in the future not to double book?”

“Of course. I had plans with him first, and he wants to talk.” I fastened the clasps of my bra in front of me, shifted the closure around to my back, slipped the straps over my arms, and rearranged my breasts inside the cups.

“Understood.” He yanked his shirt over his head, his erection still pronounced through his jeans.

“You, my friend, have your work cut out for you, and I thought it was just me.”

“How do you mean?” he asked, lifting the edge of the blanket.

I stepped off and grabbed my stuff. “Me? I have to keep from falling in love with you, and you? You have to pick a side. You can’t be possessive and at the same time not want me fully in your life.”

He shook out the blanket and seemed to be contemplating my words. “You’re right.”

“Say that again. It has a nice ring to it.”

He dropped the blanket and lifted me into his arms, my feet rising off the ground. With his left hand, fingers buried in my hair, he forced our mouths tightly together. His kiss reinforced our connection, placing more rivets affixing us together. For someone who didn’t want a commitment, he sure seemed determined to possess me with his mouth. Once he placed me back down on the sand, we stared at each other, silence hanging between us.

I looked away at the ocean and sighed heavily. To deflect what I was really feeling, I said, “I’ll be fine, I think. You’re not that loveable.” I laughed and ran away along the edge of the water.

He quickly chased after me, catching me in a few strides. We both slowed as he captured my hand in his. We strolled through the sand until we reached the bandshell and crossed over to where we parked.

“Thanks for coming to talk to me,” he said as we stood in front of the door of my car.

“Thanks for the incredible O. I can definitely get used to that.”

“Good.” He tugged on the door to my car and finally got it to budge. “Listen, call that number. The guy owes me a favor.”

“Okay.” I climbed inside my car.

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Yes, the dinner shift.”

“And Monday?”

“I’m off all day. Although, I definitely want to get in a step class or two.”

“Come over tomorrow night. I’ll text you the address. You can shower at my place.” He leaned over and kissed me.

“Right, okay. See you tomorrow night then.”

“You’re crinkling your nose again,” he said as he walked away.

“And you’re smiling, even if only on the inside.”

His back shook slightly.

I backed up my car, pulled out, and drove down Johnson Street to A1A. Turning onto Hollywood Boulevard, I made my way to the parking lot outside of the CroBar Club, facing the railroad tracks.

Me:
I’m just pulling in.

The car console read 3:15 a.m. I walked past the door to the club and found Bond sitting on the steps leading to his apartment.

“Do I want to know where you’ve been?” he asked, brushing sand off my calf.

“I guess that depends.”

He took my hand and led me up the stairs. I could hear music coming from the club, but the volume was low. He sat on his black leather couch and ran his fingers through his long hair. I waited.

“Is it Tate?”

“Yes,” I answered, running my tongue along my swollen lips.

“Do you plan to keep seeing him?”

“I do.” I shrugged.

Bond shook his head and took a deep breath. “He can’t possibly give you what you need.”

“I know.”

“You know?” He shifted to face me. “Then why are you seeing him?”

“Why am I seeing you?”

“Come on, Blue. We’re friends, we have history. You and me, we help each other get through life.”

“That’s true, but you aren’t offering me anything more than he is.”

“You deserve better. You, of all people, deserve more. Why do you settle for men like us?”

“Knowing why doesn’t change it at all. Either I live like a hermit, or I take the good with the bad. Love has always come at a price.
Always.
Besides, my good friend, you are doing
exactly
the same thing.”

“Rory says hi, by the way.”

Now it was my turn to shake my head. “Dude, really?”

“I’m not doing anything with her. I’m practically monogamous for the first time in a really long time.”

“Oh my god that is so funny. I guess for you, two people is the closest you’ll ever come to monogamy.”

“I’m not sure anymore. I’m thinking more and more about wanting a family.”

My eyes opened wide.

“Don’t be so shocked.”

“Uh, sorry. So what do you want to do about us? I’m not sure I want to tell the gang. I mean, if we were in love or something... And with me dating Tate, it makes it even more awkward.”

“Whatever you want, Blue. I just can’t stand hurting you. You’re one of my best friends, and that’s the last thing I want.”

“I know and it’s nice to hear it too. Can we go snuggle in bed? I’m exhausted.”

“Let me shower and I’ll join you.”

Once we were both in bed, facing each other, Bond said, “Please be careful with Tate.”

“How do you mean?”

“Something’s not right about him. Not that he’s dangerous or anything, but when he wasn’t talking to someone and was just staring off, he seemed... I’m not sure of the right words. Damaged. Maybe I can see it because I was there for so long. He’s not a whole man, and I’m worried he might take you down with him.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. He’s been pretty clear that he will never love again, never fully share himself with another. Part of me sees the futility of it all, but Bond, it’s ... it’s also different with him.”