Blurred Lines (10 page)

I patted her arm, and resisted the urge to laugh at how she thought we hadn’t known. “We’ve all been there. But tell me, is the sex any good?”

Her head came up, and she bit her lip. “He’s, uh, very...enthusiastic.”

Kennedy and I burst into a fit of giggles. “Better spill before Grady gets here,” I mused. “I doubt he’d want to hear what a great lay his brother is.”

And just like that, our ‘I Hate All Men’ night was a go. After a rather tiring day, I needed to be surrounded by friends, and soon came to appreciate that our baby would be born into a loving family, whether it included Reid or not.

T
he bar I’d spent the last few hours in was just off campus, and had already started filling up with the Friday night crowd. I was tucked away into a dimly lit corner booth, away from the excited bustle of my fellow students.

What I wanted was to speak to Jade, but after our row earlier, I thought it better to give her some space, and myself the chance to process her news. It had come as a shock, but what surprised me was the relief I felt knowing it was my baby she was expecting, and not some other assholes’.

The waitress came by and placed another soda in front of me before removing the empty bottle on my table, and I nodded my thanks. It would have been easy to get drunk – I sure as hell needed a drink – but I wanted a clear head in order to put everything in perspective. When someone sat down on the bench opposite me, I looked up and saw that my father had taken a seat. His dark blond hair stuck up in all directions as a result of the rain, and his fancy suit was all but dripping on the floor. The likeness between us was uncanny, and no one would doubt that I was his son.

“I was hoping I’d find you here,” he said, taking off his wet coat. He shook some water from his hair, and relaxed, eyeing me with wariness and concern.

“A little out of your way,” I replied. I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, and couldn’t deny that I was happy to see him. Out of everyone close to me, he was probably the only person I could talk to right then.

“Dane called me, he said he was worried about you.”

I fiddled with the cap of my bottle, and gave my father a half-smile. “Doesn’t surprise me, he was never good at keeping his nose out of my business.”

“He cares about you, and the fact that he called me, means something must be wrong.”

My father’s eyes green matched mine, and when he looked at me I saw that he really was worried. He wouldn’t have sought me out if he weren’t. He was a busy man, and although I missed him, he’d always taken the time to be there for me when I needed him. Aside from Dane, my father was also my best friend, and I knew I could trust him with anything. I never feared his judgment, or worried that he’d be disappointed. He simply listened, and helped me where he could.

“You didn’t have to come all the way out here, Dad,” – I took a sip of my soda – “A phone call would have sufficed.”

He waved his hand, and rested back into the booth, his bulking shoulders taking up most of it. “I’m here now. Start talking, son.”

If I weren’t feeling so all over the place I would have chuckled at the authoritative way he spoke to me. It was one of many reasons why people respected him so much, both in and out of the courtroom. You’d think being a tough-as-nails attorney would have hardened him too much, but he was a family man at heart, and he’d taught me what it meant to be a man, a loving father, and a devoted husband. All the things I wanted to be for Jade and our baby, and that scared me.

I was going to be a dad.

I rubbed my hand over my head, and let out a heavy breath. “Where do I even start?” I mused. “It’s such a fucking mess.”

My father ordered a beer, and then rested his clasped hands in front of him. “Easy, you start at the beginning.”

Was there even a beginning?

I started telling him everything that had transpired between Jade and me, from the moment we blurred the line between ‘friends’ and ‘lovers’ to how I dated Stella in the hopes of moving past my feelings for Jade. While I left nothing out, my father listened with intent, and I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. His occupation had taught him to analyze every fact, and every detail, and to determine the appropriate course of action. I needed him to do that for me now, or at least guide me in the right direction because I was at a loss.

“And then today, I found out she’s pregnant. I freaked out because I thought it was someone else’s, and I humiliated her in public because I was too angry to be rational about it. Turns out the baby’s mine.”

I avoided my father’s knowing gaze, afraid that his concern would shift into disappointment, but that’s not what I got, at all.

He let out a loud
woosh
of air, and leaned forward. “That’s...shit, that’s a lot to take in.”

This time I did chuckle. “Lucas Cole, at a loss for words? That’s a first.”

My father’s response was to give me a crooked smile, and immediately I relaxed. That one gesture gave me the reassurance I’d been looking for.

“Shut up. You just told me I’m going to be a grandfather. I need a minute.”

“Join the club,” I muttered. “I’m going to be a dad, and I don’t even know if Jade wants me to be part of the baby’s life.”

With thick, furrowed brows, he asked, “Why wouldn’t she want you to? That doesn’t sound like the Jade I know.”

My lips twitched at his comment. He’d always had a soft spot for Jade.

“Yeah well, the Jade I knew wouldn’t have kept something like this from me. I feel like I don’t even know her anymore, Dad. I keep retracing my steps, and wondering where we went so wrong.”

My father huffed wistfully, a smile of remembrance pulling at his lips. “I remember the first time you told me you loved her. We were at her twelfth birthday party at Erik and Raquels’, and Jade was wearing this pink poufy dress with her hair in curls. You stared at her for over an hour, and then you turned to me and said, ‘Dad, one day, Jade and I are going to get married’. I asked you how you knew that, and you simply replied ‘because I like her’.”

“I don’t remember that,” I replied, trying to recall the memory.

“Your mom and I always knew you two would move on from being just friends, and I think Erik and Raquel knew it too. You guys were inseparable for most of your lives.”

“And now look at us,” I laughed bitterly. “We’re not friends, not a couple, but we’re going to be parents.” I pushed my bottle away, and rubbed my hands down my face, “I’m scared, Dad.”

“You know what happened the day I found out your mother was expecting
you
?” He asked. “I fainted, right there in the bathroom. Passed out cold.”

“Mom must’ve loved that,” I snickered. “Were you scared too? When mom told you she was pregnant?”

“Oh yeah,” he scoffed, “I was terrified for the whole nine months, and when your mother went into labor two weeks after her due date, I thought I was going to give myself a heart attack. But, then you came home, and we figured it out. Your mother wasn’t stressed out, so I relaxed, and after a while, everything just...worked out.”

“What if Jade decides she doesn’t want to keep the baby?” It was the first time I’d aired that concern out aloud, and saying the words made the possibility so much more real. Could I deal with it if she decided not to keep our baby?

No.

It was that simple.

“What if we can’t make it right?” I continued, needing to get all my worries out of my head. “What do I do then?”

My father’s expression turned serious. “Then you fight.”

“But how can I be sure it’s the right thing? How do I know for sure that it’s love, and not just lust?”

It felt silly to ask that question, because until now I’d never questioned my feelings for Jade, but her news suddenly had me questioning everything I thought I knew.

“If you looked ahead ten years from now, and saw Jade standing next to you, and if you know without a shadow of a doubt that you’d put up with all the hardships that life throws at you if it meant waking up next to her, then you know.”

I thought about it, and my father gave me the time to process it before he asked, “Tell me in one sentence, right now, how you feel about Jade.”

Without preamble I replied, “I’d rather fight with her, than love anyone else.”

He smiled knowingly. “That, son, is love.”

I knew in that moment he was right, and that only left me with one choice.

To fight.

I was going to fight for Jade, even if it meant I had to wait forever. I had to make her see I wasn’t going anywhere, and I would be there for her and our baby.

I KNOCKED ON Jade and Kennedy’s door and waited with two coffee cups in my hands. After my morning jog, I stopped at Bean Me Up on campus, and figured after two days, Jade would be ready to talk. I’d given everything my father had said a lot of thought, and it was time I was honest with Jade. I was nervous, but also certain, and knew the only way to get through to her was to only give her one choice. To trust me.

The door opened, and a sleepy-looking Kennedy was standing on the other side.

“Hey, Reid.”

She yawned, and I stifled a smile. Dane must’ve kept her up all night again, and thank the Pope they were at Kennedy’s and not at our place. The last thing I wanted while sorting the shit out in my head was hearing them have sex.

“Hey Kenny. Hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Not at all,” – she yawned again – “But Dane isn’t here.”

“I was actually looking for Jade.”

Kennedy’s brows shot up, and she was suddenly very much awake. Her eyes darted between me and Jade’s bedroom door, and my forehead scrunched into a frown. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, it’s just...”

“What’s wrong, Kennedy?” I asked sternly. “Is Jade okay?”

Kennedy’s shoulders dropped, and she stepped aside before I barreled her over.

“She’s fine, she’s just sick.”

I placed the two cups on the kitchen counter, and walked through Jade’s bedroom door into her bathroom. She was hunched over the toilet, heaving, with her one hand braced on the floor, and the other on her stomach. She reached over, and flushed the toilet before settling back down on her knees, working to catch her breath. Her head whipped up, and she startled when she saw me standing there.

“Reid, what are you doing here?”

I grabbed a washcloth from the drawers under the sink, wet it with some warm water, and knelt down so that I could help her clean up.

“I came to see you,” I replied, wiping the sides of her mouth. She snatched the washcloth from my hand, causing me to drop my hand with a sigh. She was still pissed with me.

Well, that was too fucking bad. We were going to talk, and if it meant I had to tie her down to get her to listen, I would do it.

“Come to accuse me of something else?” Her brown eyes bore into my face, and I could only laugh – on the inside – at how easily Jade was riled up.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed out, daring to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. There’s no excuse except that I was in shock, and pissed that I had to hear it from someone else.”

“So you decide the best way to handle it is accuse me of sleeping with someone else when I was with you?” Jade looks ready to slap me, and cry at the same time. Dammit, this isn’t going as I’d planned, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t – it never does with Jade. She had the ability to keep me on my toes without realizing it. It was one of many things about her that drove me crazy.

“I jumped to conclusions,” I replied. “But I came to apologize, and to talk.”

Jade opened her mouth to speak, but in the next breath she had her head bent over the toilet, heaving all over again. I cringed. I’d heard about morning sickness before, but had yet to witness it, and from the pained expression on Jade’s flustered face, it wasn’t fun. I rose to my feet, and leaned over her, taking her hair in one hand and rubbing circles on her back with the other.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked. She wiped her mouth, and shook her head as she stood up. She leant on the wall for support, and I got a good look at what a toll everything had taken on her. She looked tired, and what concerned me was that she looked leaner too.

“I’m still angry with you, Reid.” Her voice quivered, making my insides roll with guilt. “I don’t know if I want to talk to you right now.”

“Then don’t, but I have some things I need to say, and considering you kept your pregnancy from me, you owe it to me to listen.”

“I
owe
it to you?” She asked dubiously, walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. “I don’t owe you anything.” She grabbed a hoodie from her bed, and threw it on over her head. That’s when I saw what little clothing she had on. It was fucking freezing outside, and she was in nothing more than a black tank top, and bright pink sleep shorts.

“You need to dress warmer,” I admonished, not bothering to hide my disapproval. Wasn’t she taking better care of herself?

With a harsh pull, she covered her torso with the hoodie, and shot daggers at me.

“I get hot, which is normal for pregnant women. Now are you going to tell me what I did to deserve your extra sunny disposition this morning, or did you just come to tell me what I can and can’t wear to bed?”

She turned around and stormed out, causing me to throw my hands up in defeat. God, why did she have to be so fucking difficult?

“I didn’t come here to fight,” I half-yelled, following her out into the living room. I stopped in my tracks when I realized that Kennedy, Dane and Ashley were all watching us from the sofa. Jade started pulling plates from the cupboard, and slamming them onto the counter.

“Can we please have this conversation in private?” I asked her. I shot Dane a look, and he caught my meaning, showing me his understanding with a brisk nod. He stood up, and pulled Kennedy up with him. He leaned down, and murmured, “C’mon Kitten, let’s give them some privacy.”

Ashley stood too, but before they could leave, Jade exited the kitchen with determination on her face.

“No,” – she looked at our friends and then back at me – “Whatever you need to say can be said in front of our friends.”