Break My Heart (The Heart Series Book 2) (28 page)

“Lil?”

She doesn’t move, doesn’t answer. Her hair is loose, curls cascading over her shoulders. She raises her eyes to mine.

My steps falter. Her expression strikes straight through my heart, pounding me into the ground, inflicting the pain and suffering I deserve.

She’s one raw, delicate nerve that if not handled carefully, could be rendered useless forever. There’s no bulletproof vest, no weapon or badge to protect her. No fatigues, gear, or uniform in the world to help her cope with the no-holds-barred firefight between us out in the living room.

“I’m sorry about before.” I’m always sorry. Because I am sorry. One sorry piece of shit. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

“I know.” One side of her delicate mouth tips up into a sad smirk. “I’m asking too much from you,” a stifled sob escapes her, “so if you want to walk away, I’ll understand. Really. I’m….” Her voice breaks and trails off.

“I don’t want to. I only want you.” I approach her carefully, trying not to spook her.

How can I fucking fix this? Fix us? Her pain is mine. It’s burning me from the inside out.

The mattress dips as I sit next to her, side by side, like we were that shitty night back in the bunker.

Those soulful whiskey eyes slay me, slicing my heart in two. I resist the urge to jump into action and take her away from all this the only way I know how.

Before I can move, she stands up, putting some distance between us. “I remember, but I need to get to the bottom of some things and I need him for information. There’s nothing else going on. That’s it.”

That’s it? That’s fucking huge.

She comes closer. “I was lost and he helped me come home. Now he’s here and….” She pauses and I bite my tongue. “Well, he’s in the same situation and I need to return the favor. Let me take care of this on my own. Please, I need you to trust me.”

“I trust you.” I just don’t trust
him
. “You’re asking me to sit this out, and I don’t think I can.” And I can’t forget his threat from before I pounded his ass into the ground.

“Please try. I’m working on it, all right? I just want to get him home and get back to us, but if you can’t wait, I’ll understand. And don’t think for one minute,” her voice falters, her whiskey eyes glistening as they take me in, “that there’s anyone else.” Her lips tremble and she shakes her head. “It kills me that you think I don’t…how can you think that?” Her head falls forward, curls floating over her beautiful face.

Because I’m a shit, Lil. Because I’m pretending to be this douche bag and deep down, I’m losing myself.

I can’t wait. Flying off the bed, I embrace her, pressing her up against me, and she buries her face in my neck.

“I’m so sorry, Lil, I just can’t share you. I just can’t,” I mutter against her temple.

“I’m yours,” she breathes, wrapping her arms around my waist. Those magnificent eyes that don’t miss a thing regard me with incredulity. “I’ve always been yours. Even before I knew you, I was already yours.”

She’s
mine
. Fuckin’ A, she is.

My arms lock around my world, holding her to me. I inhale her sweet scent, sealing it away, deep inside me. I’m such an insecure fuck.

To Lil, they’re not just words: to her they’re ultimate surrender. It’s stripping down naked, walking out in broad daylight, straight into traffic. And the woman is a fighter. She’s been through hell. Yet she fought back and came out the other side in one piece, just to get back to me.

And she’s here. In my arms.

Hearing the words doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know her. She’s part of me because we share a heart. It beats inside me every day, reminding me that I’m alive, and that I’m finally complete.

“I love you, Lil. And I don’t need to hear the words, because I’ll say them enough for the both of us.”

She relaxes against me, her entire body lighter, like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Her gaze drops to my chest.

“The overnight bag was for Miami. I went to see Sophia.”

Son of a bitch. I freeze in place. That’s the last thing I expected.

“And you didn’t want to talk about her, but I pushed.”
With your bullshit, Colton.
“Did it help?” It’s all I can ask. The day I punched my old man was cathartic. I never looked back. Still, I don’t want to hear the vile things she might have said to Lil, because that means I’ll have to dig two graves: one for prick Will and one for Sophia.

“Yes, it did. But I won’t keep you. I know you have to get going.”

“I told Marcus I’ll be late for work.” I’m not leaving her tonight. “Tell me.”

“Okay.” Her sweet smile sends my heart aflutter. “Well, it was you.”

“Me?” I’m confused.

“Remember what you said to me once, about the things that had to happen for us to get to this point?”

I’m still confused, so she goes on, “I went all the way down there and saw her. She was sitting on the beach laughing, enjoying the day, until she spotted me. Our conversation went as expected, and then I hauled my ass into a cab. Right at that moment, this sense of peace fell over me and that’s when I realized I should have just thanked her.”

Bitterness coats my words. “Thanked her for what? Kicking you out? Treating you like shit?”

“Yeah, kind of,” she muses, her serene demeanor healing my heart one beat at a time. “Had she not raised me the way she did, I wouldn’t have graduated a year early, gone to college when I did, and ended up leading this unit full of smart-ass, wanna-be soldiers.”

I beam once my brain makes the connection. She would never have met me.

My throat burns with restrained emotion. We’re puzzle pieces that fit perfectly. I swallow thickly, clearing my throat.

“Thanks for that,” I mutter, fighting for composure. “All right.”

“All right what?” she asks, frowning.

My arms come around her waist. “I’ll stay out of it.” Before she interjects, I continue, “But I’m here for you. Promise me—now, no tricky bullshit—that you will call me if you need me. Anytime, any day. Understand?”

“I promise.” She gives me a small, shy nod. “There is one thing I do need from you.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” I stare down at her curiously.

“Please don’t give up on me.” Her voice is a soft caress. “Can you do that for me?”

My answer is my motto, my creed. “Anything for you, Lil.”

CHAPTER 25

Ileana

Tommy was gone by the time I woke up at sunrise. Grabbing my running gear, I trudge out to clear my head and think things out. Last night was one knockdown, drag-out fight, and took every single ounce of my energy to withstand the wrath.

I pound the wet pavement and remind myself once more not to take the things he said personally; Tommy acts before he thinks. But most of all, I’m glad I didn’t tell him everything I
do
remember.

Time travel is not outside his box; it’s downright outside of his stratosphere. It’s “
You crazy mofo, you just want a Section Eight
” kind of crazy. Back on base, we had a private go AWOL. After his buddies found him, they snuck him back to post. The private said he had been abducted by aliens or some nonsense – according to Tommy. After he heard the guy out, he turned him in as an example to the troops; he even went as far as nicknaming him ‘Crazy Eight’.

I couldn’t stand that emerald sparkle of life that made me laugh when I was down, that made me feel safe, loved, and cherished, to be clouded with pity, disgust, or incomprehension. He’s all I have in this world. I can’t risk losing him.

Relief flooded me once he told me the words didn’t matter. As if words could contain a feeling. A feeling powerful enough to save lives. Others powerful enough to destroy worlds. Love. Hate. Anger. Loss.

Their true form cannot live and breathe inside a few letters. It resides deep inside at the core of our essence. For Tommy to expect me to describe what I feel for him in only three words is impossible. Can a mother who’s lost her child describe the loss in three words? “I love you” is a simplistic statement. It doesn’t embody what my love for him is.

I would give up everything if it meant guaranteeing his safety, health, and happiness.

I would die for him.

He is what matters.

Chasing the shadows and cutting through the humid morning air, I focus on my current situation. I have two days to send Will on his way before I have to go back to work.

But how?

No matter which way I spin it, truth is, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

I can’t meander through the threads of time and space, doing shit I don’t understand and messing things up in the process. Last time, I almost erased myself from existence. True, I caught a big fish and eliminated a threat. But at what cost? Maybe Will being here is nothing but an aftershock of my actions.

Actions have consequences. The second I jumped the gun and took that stroll through the tall grass, I set up a chain of events that could have potentially altered many innocent lives. I could have missed Wayne. I could have been sucked into oblivion. There’s a million things that could have gone wrong, all beyond my control.

I can’t risk that again by going in half-cocked.

Rounding the corner, I pick up my pace for the last stretch. No way are we the only ones traveling through time. That alley is in the middle of downtown Chicago. Streets are filled with pedestrians. Common sense and logic dictate someone else knows about the alley. Who knows how many missing person cases are nothing but said person getting sucked into a time vortex.

I need to focus on the task at hand, and that’s Will.

I return to my place and clean up.

A few minutes of good old-fashioned detective work, and I find the exact spot where the two rescue squads picked Will and me up. Once I pinpoint the location of the alley, I start out to check on Will.

Out in the hallway, voices carry from inside Mrs. Nuncio’s apartment. I’m about to knock when, sure enough, Mrs. N.’s door opens and she’s all smiles, Will trailing behind her.

“Good morning.”

They seem caught off guard for a split second, but smile in greeting.

“Good morning Ileana. Will, here, was just heading your way,” Mrs. N. announces.

“Good. We have some work to do today.”

Mrs. N. says her goodbyes, retreating into her apartment.

“Where are we going?” He eyes me warily.

“We need to figure out what’s going on in that alley.”

“Do we have to do this now? I mean, I thought we would have more time….”

Time for what? “You don’t want to be here longer than needed. Your DNA is being processed. The FBI will connect you to Wayne. They might not be able to bring you up on charges, but it will be enough to bring unwanted attention.”

His gaze, vast and quiet as an ocean on a cloudy day, rakes slowly over me, making me self-conscious.

“What?”

“Your clothes. It’s strange, not seeing you in a dress or overalls.”

I’m wearing burgundy Chucks with a pair of faded low-rise jeans, and a spaghetti-strap cami. My gray Army hoodie conceals my Glock, cuffs, and badge. I’m not sauntering into the unknown unprepared.

“I could say the same. Nice threads, by the way.”

Will is a sight to see. I can’t imagine what he thought when he saw himself in the mirror this morning. He’s sporting Nelson’s jeans and a polo shirt, along with his saddle shoes. He keeps rubbing his head, and I’m sure it’s because he misses his hat.

One of the neighbors walks by, nodding in greeting, and I nod back.

They gawk openly at Will. This is a small building, and new faces don’t go unnoticed.

Once they board the elevator, I turn to Will. “And that”—the ding of the elevator signals its movement downward—“is another reason why we need to get you home as soon as possible. The longer you’re here, the worse it will get.”

“For you or for me?”

He’s got me there. “Let’s go.”

قلب

Morning traffic to downtown is a pain in the ass but I bear it. Upon reaching the dreaded street a few blocks from Chris and Nelson’s place, I pull into public parking and retrieve my ticket. No one knows where we are. The thought sobers me.

Pulling out my phone, I check the day and time, if just to reassure myself. Quickly moving my thumbs over the keyboard, I text Charlie my exact location, just to be safe.

“What’s next?” Will watches me as I finish sending the message.

“We’ll scout the alley, and then we’ll go from there.” Not a solid plan, but it’s a start.

“Swell.”

There’s always some type of construction going on downtown and if that’s not bad enough, the Fourth of July weekend is coming up—which means only one thing: tourists. Good thing people don’t pay attention to what goes on around them, especially on vacation.

Once we reach the entrance to the narrow alley, I hesitate. In the daylight, the two high rises block any sunlight from coming into the alley. There are large trash containers farther down. I wonder how my car could squeeze down here, let alone a trash truck. The other end isn’t visible, where the alley curves into a loading dock, which appears to lead into an abandoned adjacent building.

“Are you ready?” Will asks cautiously.

I nod. “Let’s go.”

We venture in, and my skin prickles at the change in temperature, cold, dark energy chilling me to the core. Like entering a cavern, the light dims and my senses go into overdrive.

Once again, awareness at the magnitude of my situation emerges at the most inopportune time. What if we get sucked away? And it’s not only getting lost. It’s the physical toll as well. Will’s strong frame hangs heavy, his muscles weary, and he’s pale as a ghost. What if the process takes a toll on the body, doing who knows how much damage? Maybe killing cells, eating us one small morsel at a time. The memory of Wayne’s pasty, sickly face gives me pause.

But that’s not my biggest fear.

I’m afraid I won’t be able to get back to Tommy. Afraid I’ll be stuck in the past forever. I’m afraid I won’t be able to come back to my time again.