Breathe into Me (17 page)

Cherise sidled up to my position and lifted her brow. “Got your ID on you, babe?”

The few times I’d seen her before, she’d never asked me for proof of my age. I was surprised enough to almost give her my real driver’s license … almost. My heart beat a little faster as she scrutinized the fake card. “You know this doesn’t even look like you,” she said, smirking as she gave it back to me. “But I don’t want to be shut down on my first night so I’m checking anyone who comes up to the bar. Might want to spread that around.”

I grabbed my beer and leaned sideways against the bar as Cherise moved to another person. The whole thing about getting a beer was more habit for me than any need to drink. Earlier after the GED test I’d been tempted to drown my sorrows, but I was serious about turning over a new leaf. Alcohol turned me into somebody I didn’t like, let me do things I regretted when I was sober. Still, it would be weird for me to be in a bar without a beer in my hand.

Clare pulled up next to me at the bar, and I grinned over at her. “Glad you could make it.”

She returned my smile. “I figured I’d give having fun another shot after the mess last time.”

I held up a finger. “I swear if you apologize one more time, I’ll boot you back out that door.”

Her smile widened. “Fine, my lips are sealed.” Clare looked around the bar. “So, where’s your new guy? I’ve been dying to meet him.”

“Oh, I can definitely introduce you.” I peered around her at the entrance, trying to see if my other invitee for the night had arrived. “As soon as I find him, that is.”

“Has he come to see you play at the club?”

“I haven’t had my first official day just yet.” I bumped her with my shoulder. “Have I thanked you lately for helping me out with that?”

“Not today, but I’m willing to listen again if you’d like.”

I laughed, and then took a drink of my beer to hide my expression as I looked past her. Clare caught my gaze and turned around. Her eyes widened in surprise. “Hi.”

Andrew gave her a small wave. “Hi.”

I took pity on him immediately, although I kept my mouth shut. He looked like he’d just stepped out of the country club, with his slacks and polo shirt. All that was missing was a sweater tied around his neck to complete the image. He looked totally out of place in the club, but when Clare smiled up at him, I saw him visibly relax. “Would you like a drink?” he asked, offering his arm.

Clare hesitated only for a second before winding her arm through his. “Sure.” She slanted a look at me, and her eyes narrowed at my wink. “We’re going to talk later,” she murmured before being pulled toward the bar.

That went pretty well
. Clare and Andrew looked good together, and I wanted to see them both happy. I’d seen how he’d watched her at the club, and my hunch appeared to have been correct. They stayed by the bar chatting once they got their drinks, and I crossed my fingers that my first attempt at matchmaking wouldn’t be a colossal failure.

“Mm, you smell nice.”

“I smell like a wet dog, got caught in the rain too long.” I bit my lip to keep from smiling, and then gave Everett as prim a look as I could manage. “You’re late.”

He leaned onto the bar beside me, almost touching, and gave me a secret smile. Butterflies danced around in my belly, and I tried to cover my reaction by motioning toward his friends. “Want to join everyone else?”

“Maybe I’d rather keep the pretty girl to myself.”

I made the mistake of looking up at him and was struck by the piercing glow of his eyes. Everett wasn’t doing anything inappropriate, wasn’t staring down my shirt or leering at me, but something about his gaze made my skin break out in goose bumps. Against my better judgment, I took a quick swig of my beer, trying to calm my racing heart.

He’s just a boy
, I tried to tell myself, but as he leaned closer toward me I felt my heart rate speed up more.

“I couldn’t get you off my mind today,” he murmured, somehow still audible over the sounds of the bar. I could feel his breath on my ear, the sweet scent of his cologne filling my nose. “You have a bewitching way of making me want you always around me.”

My gaze fell to his chest, unable to maintain eye contact with him. The hot promise I saw there made my knees weak, and this was too public a place for me to … what? Kiss him again? Jump his bones? Because that’s exactly what I wanted to do.

I’m not that girl anymore
, I thought, but the repeated vow was growing feeble, even in my mind. Staying firm in my resolve to steer clear of men, however, grew more difficult the longer I was with him. Would it be so bad if I let my guard down just once, and maybe allowed myself to have some fun?

Do you really want to risk it?

“Let’s go see what Trent and the guys are up to.” Grabbing my beer off the counter, I took a step toward the far table, only to have Everett’s arm suddenly blocking my way.

“Lacey, look at me.”

I didn’t want to, but it was as though my body wasn’t under my control. Everett was studying me, head cocked to the side. When I looked away, he reached over and gently took my chin in his fingers, turning my head until we were eye-to-eye. “I won’t go any faster than you want,” he murmured, leaning in close to make sure he was heard. “But I’m going to tell you the truth as I see it.” He stroked one cheek with his thumb. “You are by far the most beautiful girl in this entire room.”

My legs went weak at his words and I struggled to keep my composure. Off to one side, I thought I saw Ashley’s face in the growing crowd, but I couldn’t be sure. Sweeping aside my worry, I held out my hand. “So,” I asked, taking his hand, “do you New Yorkers know how to dance?”

Not waiting for his answer, I pulled him out toward the dance floor. The music beat through me as I rolled my body, letting the rhythm pick me up. Hands crept around my hips, holding but not directing me as I danced. I let go of all my worries, allowing the music to take me.

The hands on my hips moved up, sliding along my sides and back down over my hips. Smiling a little, I rolled my body back, until I brushed against his wide chest. Closing my eyes and blocking out my surroundings, I danced for him and was rewarded as his fingers dug into my skin. One hand snaked around to my belly, pulling me back against him so we were together. I gave a small gasp as we began moving together, and I snaked one arm up and back to circle his neck.

“God, you’re sexy.”

The words set off a series of sensations inside me, making me bolder. I felt almost drunk, high on life, and I turned around so I could see his face. Perhaps that was a mistake; his eyes glittered in the low light, promising all sorts of sensual delights, and his reaction to me only made me bolder. Molding my body to his, we danced.

“Not bad, New York.” It was easy to forget my crappy life on the dance floor like this, where there was nothing but the music and bodies moving in sync. I don’t know how many songs we danced to before I finally became totally conscious of how close his lips were to mine. He was staring down at me, the sleepy look in his eyes making me aware of the hardness I felt poking me in my belly. I swallowed as we both stopped the dancing and he gathered me close.

“You dance well yourself,” he murmured, and I knew he was going to kiss me.

“Why don’t we get something to drink?”

My blurted words surprised him, but he let me go as I stepped back. His hand didn’t leave mine, however, and emotions warred inside me as I pulled him off the dance floor.
What the hell, Lacey? This isn’t some random guy you picked up, this is
Everett.

I tried to keep my regret from showing as I pulled us toward the table with all his buddies. Plastering on a smile, I waved silently as the construction crew made us room around their tables.

“Saw you two out there,” Trent said, laughing as I blushed. “Didn’t think a girl who moved like that could blush.”

Everett gave him a hard jab to the ribs, enough that Trent winced. “Okay,” the blond boy said after a minute, “let’s pretend that was the beer talking.”

“How many have you had?”

Trent grinned. “Enough to lose my brain-to-mouth filter.”

“Haven’t seen you around lately with those treats,” Vance said, giving me a good-natured grin. “It’s only getting hotter and hotter outside, so wouldn’t mind if you showed up at work again sometime.”

“Well, I’m up.” Cole stood up from his chair, eyes on the stage. “Try not to get into any fights without me.”

“Can’t promise you that,” Trent called after him. He winked at me. “That’s half the fun of these places.”

Beer bottles already lined the tables, and I added mine to the throng. “How long have y’all been here?” I asked, surveying the damage.

“An hour or so.” Trent grinned as my eyes widened. “What? We were thirsty.”

Snorting, I leaned back in my chair and surveyed the bar. Everett’s arms snaked around my shoulders, and I hid a smile at the move. The smile, however, disappeared as I saw Ashley staring at me from several tables away. She gave me a nasty smile and I looked away, a sour pit forming in my belly.

“Trent here’s gotten himself off the day-to-day grind,” Everett said, pointing with his beer toward his friend.

“Yeah, Dad thinks I should learn some of the office stuff. Get ready to take over the business when he leaves for vacation.”

“How long is he going to be gone?” I asked, trying to put Ashley’s presence in the bar out of my mind.

“Winter’s a tough time for construction, so my dad is letting me have the reins while he heads west to winter in Arizona.”

“You’re not going back to college with Everett?”

Trent and Everett shared a look. “I’m, uh, not going back to college after summer. Mom’s not happy but Dad thinks it’s a good idea and so do I.”

Everett’s fingers made lazy circles on my shoulder, and I leaned my head back against his arm. Tilting my head sideways, I frowned as I saw Ashley talking to Daniel, the youngest of Everett’s coworkers. When she pulled out a cell phone to show him something, a sick churning started in my gut. “I’m going to get another beer.”

Everett turned toward me as I stood up. “Is everything all right?”

I tried to speak, but couldn’t figure out what to say. My eyes turned back to Ashley and Daniel, and Everett followed my gaze. Whatever he was watching on the girl’s phone had him riveted, and I suddenly needed to get out of there.

“Listen, if it’s about your friend …”

“She’s not my friend.” I stood up quickly, then realized every pair of eyes around the table was on me. I flushed. “I just need some air, I’ll be back.”

“Lacey …”

Ignoring Everett, I scooted my chair back to leave. Everett stood to follow me, and then suddenly Daniel was there between us, shoving the phone under Everett’s nose.

“Dude, you gotta see this.” His voice was slurred, the result of too many beers for someone not used to alcohol, but his words were still understandable. “Your girlfriend’s got a video online.”

The bar was loud: people talked and music blared, the cacophony making it difficult to hear much if you weren’t close to someone. Yet I could hear the tiny groans from that cell phone, the familiar jeers and sounds from the video as if I were watching it myself. Horror engulfed me, rooting me to the spot, as Everett stopped, his eyes on the small screen.

No, please don’t watch that
. It was the moment I’d been dreading, and there was nowhere for me to hide. Everett’s eyes flickered from the screen to me, and I wanted to run, to get out of there and away from my shame. But before I could take a single step, I watched as Everett twisted, his fist coming up to make contact with Daniel’s face.

The phone flew from the Daniel’s fingers, bouncing off a table and onto the floor. Nobody was watching its trajectory, however, too focused on the fight. Daniel dropped like a stone but Everett followed him, raining blows on the other boy. I covered my mouth in horror as the table full of boys leaped to their feet, shouting and throwing themselves on Everett. His arm was pumping up and down, his elbow visible in rhythmic bobs above the table. Hands grabbed at him but nothing slowed down his pummeling. Only when Vance stepped in and wrapped his arms around Everett’s torso, lifting him high into the air, did I see what was happening.

Everett’s face was contorted in rage, and as I watched he snapped back and his elbow connected with Vance’s face. The black man lost his grip as Everett threw himself back on the prone Daniel. There was shouting around me, and I stumbled back as two bouncers in black shirts waded through the circle of people.

God
. I covered my mouth, horrified, and backed away. Everett was pulled to his feet, one arm held behind his back by the big bouncer. He had a gash along one eyebrow, but the anger fled his face as his eyes captured mine. The inexplicable pain I saw there made my heart hurt.

I suddenly wanted to cry.
This is all because of me
. The boys were trying to reason with the bouncers but were ignored, as Everett was held immobile. Not sparing a glance for Daniel, still on the floor, I turned and raced toward the front door, unable to take the cloying bar anymore.

Outside, the rain came down in buckets, but I didn’t care. My boots sloshed through the puddles in the gravel as I ran away from the bar toward the ocean. The Calamity Jane was only a block off the water across the highway, and in this storm there was nobody on the road. By the time I’d reached the water’s edge, I was soaked and breathing hard. The normally placid waters of the Gulf were choppy, waves crashing against the sandy beaches. The area was illuminated by the nearby pier, but I wanted only to be left alone.

Every painful memory came roaring back, blindsiding me with their intensity. I felt dirty all over again, as if everything had happened yesterday. Waking up alone in a strange bed, sore in places that scared me; my thin dress sticking to my body, pasted there by unknown fluids. I had no idea where I was, no memory of the previous night, but I’d known I needed to get out of there.

“Lacey, wait.”

The memories continued to play through my head like a bad movie. Walking home along two miles of country roads, without shoes or underwear because I’d lost both somehow during the night. Being thankful that neither my grandmother nor mother was home from church when I arrived home. Stuffing that tiny party dress in the bottom of the garbage can, then bathing in scalding water for two hours, trying to scrape off the memory of the slime on my skin. Hoping that I could somehow forget this whole night ever happened, even when I couldn’t remember a single thing.