Bride in a Gilded Cage (16 page)

She took a deep breath. ‘I want a divorce, Rafael. If the joint ownership of the
estancia
is an issue I’ll sign my half back to you. It’s enough that I’ve seen it again. If I stay in a marriage like this I’ll wither and die. And it’s not even
the marriage itself…if we had love I could cope…but there’s no love.’

‘No love…’ Rafael repeated faintly.

Isobel’s tears had finally stopped and she sniffed loudly. ‘You teased me once for being a romantic, and I am. That’s what’s important to me—to live a life with someone I truly love, who loves me. I can’t bear the thought of bringing children into a marriage like my parents had…’

Rafael was as still as a statue, just looking at her. And then he said, so quietly that she almost didn’t hear, ‘You don’t love me?’

Isobel felt every self-preserving instinct jump into action. She shook her head. ‘You always said this marriage was never about love. Why would I have allowed myself to fall in love with you?’

‘Why indeed?’

Isobel couldn’t bear to hear another word. She put out a hand. ‘Please, can we just go home? Please…?’

Rafael nodded grimly and they walked slowly back to the car. The journey to the house was made in silence, and when they went in Isobel said, without looking at Rafael, ‘I’ll sleep in one of the spare rooms.’

He said curtly, ‘You don’t have to do that. I’ll take the spare room.’

Isobel shrugged, feeling dead inside, and slowly made her way upstairs, feeling about a hundred years old. She had no idea where they would go from here. All she knew was that she couldn’t continue like this, in a vacuum of love.

Rafael stood looking at the space where Isobel had been for a long time. A heavy feeling like a rock made his chest feel tight. It was over. He couldn’t do this, either. That was twice now he’d seen her cry. He’d ignored the evidence of her
unhappiness, pushed it aside, all in some ruthless attempt to pretend that it could work…and the truth was it couldn’t. Not after what she’d just said.

T
HE
following morning when Juanita bustled into the dining room Isobel tried to hide what she knew must be enormous circles under her eyes. But Juanita was distracted, and simply said, ‘Mr Romero told me to tell you that he’d call you later—after he’s out of his meeting in New York.’

Isobel blanched and said something incoherent. She’d completely forgotten that Rafael had a two-day business trip to New York. She sagged back in the chair now that she knew he wasn’t about to stride through the door and send her brittle composure to the four walls.

Moving on autopilot, Isobel went to the dance studio for the day, consulting with interior decorators and builders, and interviewing potential dance instructors to work alongside her. But her excitement in the project was diluted time and time again when she stored something away to tell Rafael and then realised that she couldn’t expect to do that any more. She hadn’t yet asked him if he thought they could work out a way for her to keep the dance studio…she hoped that he wouldn’t use it against her.

When he rang her on her mobile later she could tell he was distracted. All he said before ringing off was, ‘We’ll talk when I get home, okay?’

Isobel nodded silently, her throat thick with tears and finally managed a husky, ‘Okay.’

His distraction couldn’t have said it any better. He was undoubtedly already working on a way to bring about the end of this marriage and move on with his life. And in all honesty she couldn’t blame him. He deserved a wife who could be all the
convenient
things he wanted and not expect love, too.

Three days later, Isobel nearly choked on her glass of water when Rafael strode into his study at the house, looking gorgeously dishevelled and unshaven. He’d rung last night to say he’d been delayed, and Isobel hadn’t been expecting him till later that evening.

He was looking at her with such intensity she wanted to ask if she had something on her face. She had to uncurl her fingers from the desk, where they’d gone in a reflexive move to hang on to something concrete.

She half gestured. ‘I was just checking something on the Internet.’

Rafael inclined his head. ‘I’m going to take a shower, and then I’d like you to come somewhere with me to talk—okay?’

Isobel just nodded. So there would be no reprieve. Straight down to business. Sorting things out. Perhaps he’d take her to his solicitor’s office?

On tenterhooks, Isobel fought the desire to change out of her jeans and plain white shirt. When Rafael came back downstairs in black trousers and a black top, hair still wet from the shower and clean shaven, her heart threatened to burst out of her chest.

She stood up from behind the desk and went to join him, following as he led her out to the car. Nerves kept Isobel silent, and Rafael seemed similarly preoccupied, an intense expression on his face as he negotiated the early-evening traffic.

To her surprise she realised that Rafael was driving into a small airfield, where a plane sat waiting. Completely nonplussed, Isobel let Rafael lead her over to the small aircraft. He introduced her to the pilot, and after an exchange between the two men that left Isobel none the wiser as to their destination she followed Rafael into the tiny four-seater craft.

She was too bemused even to ask where they were going as the plane took off into the evening sky, as if talking might bring the end that much quicker. She had a moment of déjà vu, remembering watching Paris grow smaller and smaller beneath her on a flight that felt like hundreds of years ago.

She sent Rafael a quick, surreptitious look, but his gaze was fixed firmly out of the other window.

Isobel only realised she’d nodded off, her recent sleepless nights having finally caught up with her, when she felt someone shaking her gently and saying, ‘Isobel, wake up. We’re about to land.’

Rafael.
She opened her eyes.

He was so close that all she’d have to do to kiss him would be to move forward and press her lips to his. In a panic that she might do just that and betray herself, she jerked back, noticing his cheeks flush and his eyes flash.

He sat back down, face stony, and they both did up their seat belts. It was only when the plane straightened to land that Isobel recognised where they were.

She gasped. ‘It’s the
estancia.’
She looked at Rafael accusingly, her heart tripping at being back here. ‘Why have you brought us here?’

Rafael was grim. ‘You’ll soon see.’

Isobel folded her arms and looked out of the window as the plane touched down. When they’d landed, and the pilot
had helped them out, Isobel watched aghast as he proceeded to take off again into the rapidly sinking sun.

She looked around to find Rafael waiting patiently by the open passenger door of a Jeep. With nothing else in sight, she had little choice but to climb in.

Her belly churning, Isobel saw that they weren’t actually that far from the house, which she could see in the distance. But when they came out at the long drive, instead of turning left to go to the house, Rafael turned right.

Isobel’s nerves were in shreds. ‘Where are we going?’

‘Not far now.’ Rafael took a sharp left turn into what was seemingly a solid bank of bushes, but Isobel could see after a moment that it was actually a hidden dirt track. He drove into the blackness until they came out into a clearing that Isobel could see was near the lake which stood at the back of the house.

He brought the Jeep to a stop and turned the ignition off. The silence was suddenly deafening. He got out and came around to Isobel’s side, taking her hand silently, helping her out and onto the soft ground. He looked at her for an intense moment, and then led her farther into the clearing.

Isobel saw lights ahead, and as they came closer she made out a beautifully ornate gazebo almost entirely covered in ivy and flowers. At once her chest tightened and she put a hand up to it. This had to be the gazebo that had been mentioned in some of her grandparents’ love letters. This was where they’d first met. Isobel had vowed to look for it when they came back, but had forgotten about it till now.

As they came closer she could see that it glowed with the lights of a thousand small and large lanterns. Isobel turned and looked up at Rafael, taking her hand out of his. For the first time since she’d known him, he looked nervous. ‘Rafael…why are we here?’

Finally, he spoke. ‘I saw what was in the box that belonged to your grandmother, and I hope you don’t mind but I read the letters, too…’ His mouth quirked, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. ‘They seemed to move you.’

‘They did,’ Isobel said faintly, remembering that moment when she’d had to face what was in her own heart.

His voice was husky. ‘I didn’t know what to do…how to do this. I thought maybe a letter…but how could I compete with
their
letters? And it didn’t feel right. It’s not me.’

Isobel felt as if he was talking another language. ‘Rafael…?’

He put a finger up to her mouth. ‘Just let me speak, okay? I need to speak.’

Isobel nodded. Rafael took his hand away, but not before trailing that finger down and across her jaw, almost as if he couldn’t help touching her. Isobel’s heart kicked painfully. Even now she was projecting…

‘The other night…I wanted to try and talk to you…so I took you to the
milonga
…I thought that might make it easier. When we dance it seems like we can communicate on another level…But before I could speak you told me exactly how you feel.’ He looked at her. ‘You need love to go on in this marriage.’

Isobel nodded faintly, barely breathing, spellbound by the intensity in Rafael’s gaze. Surely he didn’t care so much about maintaining this marriage that he was prepared to go to such theatrical lengths just to make her feel cared for?

And then he said, so quietly that she had to strain to hear, ‘But there
is
love, Isobel.’

Rafael touched his chest, and Isobel could see a tremor in his hand.

‘There is love—in here. I wanted to tell you the other night, but you were so upset, and then I didn’t want to burden you with my feelings when you clearly just wanted to get away from me.’

Isobel couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She shook her head. ‘But…how? I mean, when…?’

Rafael grimaced and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it dishevelled. ‘I think it started when we first met, but I compartmentalised you into my future very neatly. I didn’t start to deal with it until I came to get you in Paris. The truth is, you were affecting me way before that. I couldn’t even sleep with another woman in the six months before I saw you again. The night I saw Ana beside you…it was like seeing a dull piece of dirt next to a bright shining diamond. That was when I knew I was in trouble—even though I didn’t really recognise what was happening. I couldn’t fully admit it because whatever I had felt for her was nothing compared to how you made me feel.’

He shook his head. ‘I’ve been falling and falling and trying to convince myself I wasn’t…I had to admit it when it tore me apart to know that I was making you so unhappy. I know you want out of this marriage, but I still need to try…to see if there is any chance you will stay if you know what you mean to me.’

Feeling the blood start to rush through her veins with a giddying sweep, Isobel forced herself to stay calm. ‘What
do
I mean to you?’

Rafael’s jaw tightened, and a muscle throbbed. His voice was gruff. ‘Everything. Without you, nothing makes sense.’

He pulled something from his back pocket. It was their prenuptial agreement. He ripped it up and threw it on the ground. ‘That means nothing without you, because if you were to leave I wouldn’t want anything that reminds me of you. The
estancia
is yours—it should have always been yours. My father was determined to lock me into an arranged marriage because he resented me and the fact that my brother had got away. Your grandfather was a convenient pawn to that end.’

Rafael smiled with a tinge of wry sadness. ‘I had no idea who you were going to become, or how you’d have the power to force me to my knees.’ His smile faded. ‘My experience with Ana made me bitter and cynical. I shut down my emotions, couldn’t believe I’d let someone fool me into believing I’d fallen in love.’ He took a deep breath. ‘But it wasn’t love at all, because I now know what love really is, and it’s standing right in front of me, breaking me apart inside.’

Isobel took a deep breath and picked up Rafael’s hand. Everything was silent around them. She looked up at him and felt a deep sense of peace and homecoming wash over her. She placed his hand over her heart and said, ‘My heart beats for you, Rafael. I wasn’t brave enough to tell you that, though. I told you I needed love, but I needed
your
love, because I already love you.’

Tears started to threaten, and her voice hitched. ‘I fought it for so long, and the moment I realised it every second became torture—because I was convinced you’d never love me. You’d lost your heart so long ago, and you’d shut yourself off…that’s why I fought against sleeping with you for so long. I knew it was my last defence. On some level I knew I was falling in love with you from the very start.’

Incredulously, Rafael reached out his other hand and pulled Isobel close.
‘Tu me quiero?’

‘Si,’
Isobel said on an indrawn quivering breath.
‘Te quiero mucho.’

With shaking hands Rafael cradled Isobel’s head, spearing his fingers through her hair, tipping her face up to his so reverently that Isobel couldn’t help more tears from spilling over. He bent his head and kissed her once, twice, and then for a long, long time, as if they’d never kissed before.

Isobel could taste the salt of her tears, and when Rafael finally pulled away he wiped his thumbs over her wet cheeks.

‘That’s the last time I want to see you cry…’ he said gruffly.

Isobel smiled a watery smile. Her mouth felt plump and swollen, and she just wanted Rafael to kiss her and keep kissing her for ever.

But just then a sound came from nearby, and they both looked around to where the housekeeper was making an apologetic face as she righted a fallen lantern in the gazebo. Isobel could see that there were at least two other people there, too, but she couldn’t make out who.

Isobel looked up at Rafael questioningly. ‘What’s going on?’

He smiled, and Isobel’s heart ached when she could see that he still looked nervous. ‘This is why I brought you here.’

He got down on one knee before her. He took her hands and said, ‘I want you to know that if I’d been able to choose you for myself I would have brought you here, to this place. And I would have got down on one knee and asked you to marry me—not because of a years-old marriage pact, but because I love you and you love me. So, Isobel Miller, will you marry me, here tonight, and make me happier than I ever thought possible?’

Isobel looked up at the night sky for a moment, to try and stem the tears flowing thick and fast. But it was impossible. So she looked back down at her husband and cried and smiled and nodded, and finally managed to get out a choked, ‘Yes, I’d like to marry you very much.’

Rafael stood and led Isobel into the small candlelit gazebo, where she could now see the housekeeper standing beside Miguel Cortez, who looked after the polo horses, and a priest.

There, in front of their two witnesses, they were married again in a heart-achingly simple ceremony by the local priest—who afterwards got onto his bike and followed them back to the
estancia,
where the celebrations went on until the early hours of the morning.

Four years later, the Isobel Romero Dance Studio, La Boca

‘Look, it’s Papa!’

Rafael winced and mouthed
sorry
to Isobel as her dance class was effectively disrupted for a moment as their three-year-old daughter broke free of the orderly line and threw herself into Rafael’s arms, where he stood at the door.

Rafael caught Beatriz up and kissed her soundly, making her giggle, and then he shut the glass door so that Isobel could get on with the class.

Beatriz put her hands on Rafael’s face so that he looked at her, her little face lit up with joy, brown eyes sparkling. ‘Papa, I felt the baby kick just now—really hard. He’s going to be coming soon.’