Burning Ember (43 page)

“And now, my stepdad doesn’t approve of the man I’ve become. He despises the life I’ve chosen to lead. Can’t fathom how I could live this way and be a HOC after everything he’s taught me. He believes whole-heartedly that I’m on the pathway to hell. And he’s feedin’ that same crap to my mother. Tells her, her son is lost to her now and shit like that. He’s got her so wrapped around his finger, she has to hide our relationship from him, which means I rarely get to see her or talk to her.”

“Oh, God, Mav . . .”

I shrug. “It’s fine. The HOCs are my family now.”

But as soon as I say it, my chest constricts. “Nah, you know what? It’s not fine. It might make me sound like a complete pussy to admit it, but I miss her.”

Doll squeezes my hand and tears glisten in her eyes. I haven’t thought of it until now, but shit, she probably misses her mom too. Something else we have in common. I sweep the tear sliding down her cheek and pull her tighter to me. For a long time, we just simply hold each other. I rub her back and listen to her steady breaths as they kiss my skin on each exhale.

After a few minutes, her breathing evens out, and I almost think she’s fallen asleep until she whispers, “You’re a lot more human than I thought you were, Luce.”

Smirking, I say, “I told you I’m well versed in scripture. So I’ve figured out what Luce stands for, babe.”

Her body tenses against mine.

“Luce. Short for Lucifer.”

She cautiously lifts her head and her wary gaze finds me. “Uhmmm, you don’t seem upset that I’ve been calling you the Devil this whole time.”

Trailing my fingers down her spine, I say, “Well, he is rumored to be a handsome SOB.”

She narrows her eyes. “Yeah, that’s not—”

Putting a finger over her lips, I finish, “I’m just kiddin’, Doll. I know why.”

Her gorgeous hair is tickling my chest and she’s peering up at me through those cinnamon lashes of hers. This close, I can see the streaks of blue in her irises far outweigh the green. And her skin, God, her skin makes me want to play connect the dots like a six-year-old, and taste every inch of her.

I take a mental picture of this moment. If this doesn’t work out, for any reason, I always want to remember her just like this.

“You walked into a clubhouse that must’ve looked like Hell on Earth. You did it because you were desperate and needed help. I saw that in your eyes right away. And even though I had the power to make your life a little easier, I was nothin’ but cruel.”
Coldhearted and merciless.

I graze my thumb over her lip. “That’s something I’ll always regret.”

“So you’re not mad?”

I chuckle. “Nah, actually, it fits better than any name the guys ever tried to give me.”

“Why do you say that?”

I had three days and hundreds of miles to figure out why she called me Luce. Once the answer hit me, I immediately began to add up all of the similarities. So many that it was unnerving.
Lucifer’s greedy and impatient. He tried to play God to get what he wanted.
He was always too dark to live among saints, but not satisfied living among sinners. He still thinks he deserves his little slice of heaven though he’s an evil son of a bitch who hurts innocent people.

But I’m not quite ready to confess all of that to her just yet. No, I’m trying to win her over, not scare her off.

“Lucifer was a saint before his fall, a devil after it. When I laid my hands on you, I realized how far I’d fallen. How much I’ve let what happened with Dana change me. How dark and ruthless I’d become, compared to who I was before . . . the man my parents raised me to be.”

She silently watches me for a moment.

“Also, in Latin, Lucifer means, ‘morning star’. And I’m nothin’ if not a mornin’ person.” The only time I’ve ever been able to sleep past seven is when I go to bed drunk off my ass.

She thinks that over for a moment. “Can I ask you something?” I nod. “How did you go from college to this?”

“I fell in love with ridin’. I met Edge and Cap at a bike rally and we hit it off. For a guy who grew up as an only child, I envied how close they all were and how they had each other’s backs. They invited me to come check out the club and I did for a couple of weeks. I loved it, wanted to stay. When I left I missed the lifestyle and the friends I’d made, so I came back. Cap offered to sponsor me as a prospect. But I didn’t know if I could do what they’d ask me to do.”

“Obviously, you did.”

Letting her hand go again, I rub my hand over the top of hers. “Yeah. But Cap was a little easier on me than some of the other prospects we’ve had.”

“How long have you been here?”

The side of my mouth curves up when I think of all of the memories I have as a HOC, some of my earlier years being some of the best. “Nine years.”

“Nine years. Wow. How old are you?” She bites her lip.

“Thirty-three.” Her eyes go big and I laugh. “What, too old?” She shakes her head. After a bit, I say, “Okay. My turn.”

She eyes me speculatively. “Your turn for what?”

“To find out somethin’ I’ve been dyin’ to know about you.” Her little muscles clench and she goes still against me. “What’s your first name?”

She looks away and tries to pull her hand from my chest. I don’t let her. I know her first instinct is to retreat and hide when threatened, but she’s also strong when she needs to be. Especially, when she’s given a little push.

“Doll, I want this to work. Real fuckin’ badly. But I can’t start somethin’ with you, if I don’t know who you really are.”

She stares down at me. It takes some time, but eventually she blows out a frustrated breath. It’s barely audible, but I hear her when she says, “My name’s Ember.”

My chest inflates and holds. I search her face. Is that really her name?

Because . . . Fuck. I love it.

A slow smile builds on my face. “Ember?”

“Yeah.”

“Ember. How did you get a name like that?”

She blows out a breath and it skates over my nipples making them stand at attention. She rolls her eyes. “Ugh, my mother was a hippy. But I consider myself lucky—my sister’s name is Sundown.”

“Well, I like it. Both of them. They’re original. And yours fits you.”

She shakes her head once. “Yeah the bullies in grade school liked it too. Along with my strange clothes, red hair, and freckles.”

“Strange clothes?”

“My mom had a quirky sense of fashion. Let’s just say I wore capris before they were a thing, and I could go a hundred years without seeing a tie-dyed T-shirt again, and it would be too soon.

“Your mom. You said she took off on you and your sister.”

Her eyes flicker up to me. “You remember me telling you about that?”

“I remember everythin’ you’ve ever said.”

Expelling a breath, she says, “I thought at first that she was just maybe staying over a few days with one of her boyfriends, but then she never came back. Nobody knew where she was or where she’d gone.”

“Do you get the feelin’ somethin’ bad happened to her?”

“I worried at first that something did, but then we got a few post cards from obscure places. No return address. They wouldn’t have come from anyone but her. The last one isn’t too far from where a nudist group lives. I knew then that she was fine and missed us, but not enough to come home. I think it was her way of letting us know she was alive.”

She shakes her head and lies back down on my chest. Her fingers run down over the ridge between my abs. “You know, it’s stupid and I’m trying to break myself out of the habit, but I still look for her. When I walk down the street, in the supermarket, and I used to go past the beach and check by our favorite spot. I can’t help but look at every redhead I see, in case it’s her. I guess so I can tell her off. Tell her we’re doing fine without her.” She laughs humorlessly. “But that would be a lie now, so maybe it’s good I haven’t found her after all.”

“Not havin’ you in her life is her loss, Doll.”

I want to hate her mother because of the pain I hear in Ember’s voice right now, but at the same time, her mother must have done something right because look at her daughter. She’s beautiful and kind. She’s a little broken, but she’s holding herself together without anyone’s help.

“Will you come with me somewhere tomorrow?” I ask her.

I have a lot of shit to make up for. I’m hoping she says yes, because I really need to show her who I really am and why I was such an asshole when she first came here.

“Where?”

“Somewhere special.”

“I can but only if it’s earlier. I have to watch the kids for Bethany at six.”

“You hit it off with her then?”

“Yeah. She’s great and the kids are great. I’m going to be watching them a few times a week. She also said, if I wanted to take a couple of shifts at the bar to make some extra money, she’d let me.”

I feel a spark of happiness zip through my chest at the excitement in her voice. But at the same time, I don’t want her working at the bar. And definitely not at the bar at night. I keep my discomfort to myself.

She lifts herself off me and this time I let her pull away. “Are we being rude? Should we get back to the party?” She wraps one of her arms around her chest, all of a sudden embarrassed that she’s naked in front of me.

Sitting up I cup her face and kiss her. “Don’t hide from me. I want to learn about and see every part of you.”

Tentatively, she lets her hand drop.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” I groan and adjust myself in my jeans as I rise out of the bed. “I guess we better go before the situation I’ve got goin’ on gets any worse.” I motion to the front of my jeans and I’ll be damned her mouth doesn’t twitch as she fights a smile.

After pulling her to her feet, I grab her shirt and bra, and standing behind her, I help her put them back on. “I have to stick around for a few hours. There’s something important I need to do. But then I’m takin’ you home with me,” I say with conviction as I kiss her shoulder.

She looks over her shoulder at me and I don’t miss the way her eyes grow heated.

Good. The idea of being in my bed turns her on. It turns me the fuck on too. So much so that I need to think about all the reasons why I can’t pin her to this bed right now and fuck her senseless.

One, she’s not ready. Two, my brothers will never let me hear the end of it. Three, I need to be patient and take this slow. I haven’t proven shit to her yet except that I can work her body over when she needs me to.

As I turn her, she asks, “What is it you have to do?”

“Two things.”

Pulling her flush to me, I brush her hair away from her eyes and kiss her once on the nose. “Give Edge his welcome home present.” Then I place another kiss on her forehead. “And make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”

Turning a friend into an enemy is never an easy thing to do, even when it’s for the right reasons.

MAVERICK

Hand in hand we walk out of the backdoor of the clubhouse. The music’s blaring and my stomach instantly growls as I pull in the scent of barbeque.

I expect a couple of surprised looks. But it’s almost as if the entire party stops to gape at us. Some stand with their mouths open and eyes popping out of their sockets, while others start quickly speaking to each other and throwing curious glances our way.

Under my breath, I mutter, “Well fuck. Guess it’s as good a time as any to get my point across.”

“What?” Ember asks as I tuck her in closer to my side. She looks good there. Fits there. But in order to do this properly, she’s going to have to be on display. So I turn toward her and keep her a foot in front of me. “I’m gonna kiss you.”

Her eyes widen and for a second she quickly scans the yard full of people. “Now?”

I nod. “Yep.

She shifts from one foot to the other, ducking her head a little, she whispers, “In front of everyone?”

God she’s cute.
And I love that she doesn’t know how hot she is.

Smirking, I say, “Kinda the point.”

“What point is that?”

“That you’re mine.”

She flinches at my declaration and after learning what I have about her ex, I know controlling her is the last thing she wants me to do. So, I clarify, “It’ll warn every brother out here away from you. Otherwise, they’ll be comin’ on to you all night. Is that what you want? Do you want someone else, Doll?” I already know the answer, but I also know it needs to be her decision. Not me forcing it on her.

“No.”

“Then can I kiss you for everyone here and God to see?”

She bites her lip and mumbles, “I guess.”

“Nah, Doll. It’s your choice. There’s no middle ground though. Either you want me and you want these people to know it, or you don’t.” Maybe I need to push her a little. She’s too fucking timid sometimes and I need her to show me the harder side right now, especially here, in front of these people.

“Yes. I want you to kiss me.”

My cocky smile has her fighting a grin. I yank her to me and slide my hand behind her neck. I smash my lips down on hers and kiss like my life depends on it. Because fuck, maybe it does. I kiss her with all of the pent up lust I’ve had riding me since I left her on Bethany’s doorstep. My lips are insistent.

Wolf whistles, jeers, and taunts break out behind me, but they’re nothing but background noise.