By Degrees (36 page)

She slowly lowers the gun. Her self-satisfied smile wavers. “I don’t remember reading about you online.
 
Wikipedia doesn’t say anything about him having a sister.
 
Neither does his website.”

I try to smile reassuringly at her. She’s almost falling for my stupid story, and even though I have no idea where to go from here, I have to keep it up.
 
Fighting the tears that want to wash me away, I open my mouth, hoping the ghost of Austin will put words in there for me.

He doesn’t.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asks, finally lowering her hand to her side.
 
Then her face brightens.
 
“Ooooohhh, I get it….”
 
She smiles at me like I’m a little infant or something.
 
“He keeps you hidden because you’re
special.”

She looks pointedly at my clothing and my open-mouthed silent scream.

Do it!
 
Do the crazy eyes!
 
Austin’s whispering in my head again.

I nod my head slowly at Posey, crossing my eyes for effect.
 
It makes Scott crazy when I do this; only one eye goes in and the other goes off to the side a little.
 
He says it makes him queasy.
 
Austin always thought it was hilarious.

“Oh my god … are you like,
retarded
or something?”

I try to drool for extra effect, but my mouth’s gone dry.

She giggles.
 
“Holy shit … I can’t believe I almost shot Tarin’s retarded sister.”

I straighten my eyes back out and watch her walk over to the nightstand and put the gun away.
 
She comes back towards me, and I try to get my legs going again, but my ribs hurt too much.

“Come on, let me help you up, sweetie,” she says, bending down to grab my hand.
 
She sounds deliriously happy.

I hear the front door open and slam closed.
 
Voices make their way up the stairs.

Screams come bubbling up from my throat as she yanks on me.

“Get up, silly,” she says, completely ignoring my distress.
 
“I don’t want Tarin to find you on the floor.
 
He’ll think the wrong thing probably and get upset.”

“My ribs,” I moan, trying to hold them with one hand, praying there are no jagged edges in there to puncture a lung.
 
My other hand is still trapped in her psycho grip, so I spin sideways, falling at her feet on my side.
 
I scream with the waves pain that flow through me.
 
I’m huffing and puffing as I try to speak. “Fuck … off … you crazy bitch! …
 
Let me go!”

Feet pound up the stairs.

She kicks me once, catching me in the head with the toe of her shoe.
 
“Get up, dummy!
 
Get up!”

I’m crying now.
 
I can’t hold it in any longer.
 
“Posey,” I manage between tears, “you better get the fuck away from me and run very, very far, … because when I catch you … I’m going to strangle you with my bare hands.”

She kicks me once more, this time in the ear.
 
“I thought retards were
nice
.”
 
She jerks on my wrist.
 
“You’re not very nice at all, are you?”

My vision goes a little gray, but when it comes back, all I can see is a horrible bright orange color.

Sneakers.
 
Thank God, it’s sneakers.

“Scarlett?” Scott sounds confused.
 
Unsure.
 
Like maybe he thinks
 
his eyes are deceiving him.

“Get that crazy bitch!” I gasp out.

Scott’s shoved to the side by someone wearing cowboy boots.
 
My hand is jerked sharply backwards as the mystery cowboy takes Posey down in a flying tackle onto the bed.

She screams.

I scream.

Orange shoes are in my face again.
 
I smell cat pee.
 
It makes the nausea worse.

“What the fuck is going on in here!” yells Tarin.

Scott’s breath washes over my nose.

Oh fuck me, it’s stale beer.

Scott’s concerned expression and his chocolate brown eyes appear about three inches away from my face.
 
“Are you okay?”

My face crumbles as I start to sob.
 
“No, I’m most definitely not okay.”

And then I throw up on Tarin’s silk carpet.

Chapter Thirty-Two

EVERYTHING GOES HAZY FOR A while.
 
Someone’s screaming.
 
Guys are yelling.
 
There’s pounding on the stairs and hallway floor again.

Police.

A man with a white shirt looming over me.

“Who are you?” I finally think to ask.
 
I’m so out of it.
 
The pain is awful.

“My name is Louis.
 
I’m an EMT.
 
I’m just going to put you on a board so we can get you into the ambulance.”
 
Something goes around my neck and doesn’t quite choke me, but it’s not the most comfortable thing I’ve ever worn.

I cry out when I’m rocked sideways and back again.
 
Suddenly the ceiling is closer and I’m moving.
 
Louis is somewhere; I can hear him barking out orders for people to get out of the way.
 
Going down the stairs is not fun.
 
Straps hold me to the stiff thing they’re carrying me on, keeping me from falling off.

We’re outside.
 
The sun hits me in the face and it makes me feel alive.
 
I smile, despite the pain.
 
My carriers put me on a bed with wheels at the back of the ambulance.
 
The bumping makes me cry.

And then Tarin’s face is in mine.
 
“What the fuck happened in there?”
 
He looks angry, but I don’t think it’s at me.

“Your number two fan tried to kick me to death.”

A storm crosses his features and then he shouts at the sky. “Fuuuuuck!”
 
Placing his hand on my forehead, he leans in close.
 
“I’m so, so sorry, Scar.
 
I should have listened to you.
 
I shouldn’t have led her on like I did.
 
I had no idea …”

I close my eyes, a tear slipping out.
 
The sense that he’s turned a corner in his selfish thought process is making me sad and proud at the same time.
 
“People aren’t toys, Tarin.
 
You shouldn’t play with them, you know.”

“I fucking know, okay.
 
I know that now.
 
I was a dick, and I’m so sorry.
 
I really am.
 
It’s so unfair that you’re paying for my mistake.”

A stranger’s voice interrupts our love fest.
 
“Sorry, buddy, but I need you to get out of the way.”

Tarin’s hand leaves my forehead, but he grips my hand.
 
“I’ll see you at the hospital.”

“No.
 
Stay here.
 
It’s not safe right now.
 
You don’t have adequate security …”
 
My voice fades out with the effort of bossing him around.

Scott appears on the other side of my gurney.
 
“I’ll take care of it, sis.
 
I promise, I’ll take care of everything.”
 
Guilt mars his features.

I reach a hand up with effort.
 
“Good.
 
I know you will.
 
See ya, bro.”

“Wait a minute.”
 
Tarin’s face is hovering above me again.
 
“You said number two fan.”

“Yes, I did,” I whisper.
 
I don’t know what made me say that out loud.
 
This is so not the time to have this conversation.

“Who’s number one?”

I don’t say anything, and then Tarin’s gone again.
 
His protests are ignored as he’s pushed out of the ambulance and the doors are shut closed behind him.

“Are you allergic to anything?” Louis asks me.

“No. Just pain.”

“Pain meds?
 
Which ones?”

“No, not the meds.
 
Just the pain.”

He laughs.
 
“Oh, okay.
 
I’m going to give you something to take the edge off, if you want.”

“Please,” I say.
 
And that’s the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I’M WITH NURSES AND A doctor within minutes of arriving at the emergency room.
 
Apparently it hasn’t gone unnoticed that I’m with Tarin Kilgour of
By Degrees
.
 
He has fans here and they give me the star treatment.

Twenty minutes go by, during which I’m examined, cleaned up, and wrapped in bandages.
 
Scott is the first one by my side.
 
We’re in my private room, the lights dimmed and the shades drawn.

“They said you can go home in a couple hours.
 
No overnight if you don’t want it.”

“Hell no.
 
Just get me home.”

“Home as in the apartment…?”

I sigh.
 
“You know what I meant.
 
Tarin’s place.
 
I may have gotten my ass kicked by a psycho cheerleader, but that doesn’t mean the job is over.”

“Okay, good.
 
Because I really think this one’s on the right track.
 
He’s really responding to your methods and the crew seems really on board with everything.”

“Plus he has all those video games and the studio,” I add.

Scott smiles, knowing he’s totally busted.
 
“Yeah, that too.”

“Is he out there?” I say, knowing I sound totally pitiful, but unable to stop myself from asking.

Scott takes my hand and stares at me, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.
 
“Yeah.
 
He’s just working his way through the fannage.
 
Those nurses are almost as bad as Posey.”

“Ugh.”

“Listen … are you sure you want to do this?” Scott asks, his voice going lower.

“Do what?
 
Lie here in this hospital?
 
Do I have a choice?”

“Stop playing.
 
You know what I’m talking about.
 
Tarin.”

“I’m not
doing
Tarin, so you’ll have to be more clear.”
 
At least, I’m not doing him
ever again
.

“I
mean
staying at his house, doing this job with him, getting so involved in his life.
 
Are you sure you want to keep doing that?
 
We can just call it a draw and walk away.
 
I have plenty of money and I know you do too.
 
We don’t need to do this.”

“We’ve never walked away from a job or a person who needs us, Scott.”
 
Not since Austin, that is.
 
“Why would we do it now?”

He squeezes my head.
 
“Because this time, it’s different.
 
Way different.
 
You and Tarin …”
 
He sighs and drops his gaze to the bed.

“What?
 
Me and Tarin, what?”

Scott looks up again and his expression is just short of tortured.
 
“I think he reminds you of Austin too much.
 
It’s messing with your head.”

I swallow hard.
 
I hate hearing him say this.
 
“That’s not fair.”

“I’m not trying to be mean, I promise.
 
I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“There’s no way for me to get hurt.
 
It’s not like that.”

Scott reaching up and presses my nose.
 
I think it’s the only place on my body that’s not bruised, but it still hurts.
 
“Truth,” he says, and then he waits.

My heart hurts more than my ribs now.
 
“I don’t want to talk truth.
 
It hurts too much right now.”

“Too bad for you that I’m all about the tough love.
 
Talk to me.”

“Since when are you all about the tough love?”

“Since Austin died.”

“Ouch.”

He shrugs unapologetically.
 
“Just tell me the truth.
 
That way I know we’re both hearing it.”

Tears fill my eyes.
 
“When did you get so mean?”

He squeezes my hand so hard it cuts off my circulation.
 
“I’m not being mean.
 
I love you, Scarlett.
 
We may not share the same parents, but you’re my sister, and I don’t want to see you get destroyed all over again.
 
You almost didn’t make it after Austin.
 
Do you know how hard that was for me?
 
To lose him and then almost lose you too?
 
I don’t think I could take that.
 
Please just talk to me.
 
Tell me I don’t need to worry about you doing anything stupid.”

I yank my hand away and then grimace at the pain it causes my ribs.
 
“Fine, you want the truth?
 
I’ll tell you the truth.
 
I like him, okay?
 
Probably way too much.
 
Yes … he reminds me of Austin.
 
A lot.
 
But that’s not why I like him.
 
He’s different in tons of ways.
 
He’s wilder.
 
He’s darker.
 
He’s … Tarin.
 
He’s not Austin.”