Carol of the Bellskis (11 page)

Seth clenched his eyes shut.

“Don't think about the future,” Lars whispered in his ear, as if reading his mind. “Just let

me sleep with you.”

Seth nodded.

They slept.

Carol of the Bellskis

65

Chapter Six

There was first a smell, warm, sleepy skin, and then the distant tang of aftershave, and so

before Seth even opened his eyes, he knew he was curled up with Lars.

His eyes snapped open.

Lars still slept, hands crossed over his chest in his vampire pose. He smiled as he dreamed.

Seth ran a light finger over Lars's rough jawline, down his long neck. His skin was pale.

Seth traced Lars's collarbone and then ran down his sternum into a thin bed of golden chest hair.

Lars's nipples were tight and small and shockingly pink. Seth continued downward, following

with his finger the trail of light hair over the contours of toned muscles, sweeping down to Lars's

navel. It circled and continued south, tangling in curlier, blonder hair, until it reached the

blazingly hot, soft, slumbering skin of Lars's cock.

Seth opened his hand and held Lars's cock in his palm for a moment, thinking. It hurt to

think, because he had a headache, although honestly he expected worse, considering how much

he had drunk. It had to have helped that the Neidlichs bought good wine instead of the boxed

wines Seth preferred to get drunk on alone.

What was he going to do? How does one compromise with a closeted lover?

If Lars shared Seth in his personal life, with his family, would Seth be willing to forgo the

coworkers?

Would he consider switching jobs? He had said no first out of pride. But if it saved their

relationship, wouldn't it be worth it?

Seth shook his head. He wasn't going to give in that quickly. He had to look out for

himself, and what he asked for wasn't wrong. It was the right thing to do.

But he was willing to give Lars time. He did deserve that. They'd been together a year, but

it wasn't like Seth had made his position clear from the start. Of course it shocked Lars when

66

Astrid Amara

Seth had a change of heart. Seth was the one who had altered the rules halfway through. He had

to give Lars leeway. Compromise.

Seth sighed aloud. Why the hell were relationships so fucking
hard?

Seth didn't notice that Lars was awake until Lars's hand slid down and rested over Seth's.

They held hands around Lars's cock.

“You regret this?” Lars asked quietly, voice gravelly with sleep.

Seth looked up into Lars's blue eyes. Lars kept a carefully neutral expression, but he

watched Seth closely, like whatever words were next uttered would explode the room into flame.

“Regardless of what happens between us,” Seth said at last, “I will never regret this.”

Lars smiled his relief and pulled Seth close for a kiss.

The two of them lay there and kissed a long time, barely touching, just mouths and

tongues, setting an easy pace that warmed them from sleep gradually, until desire burned

strongly enough to overpower the last dregs of sleep and hangover.

Lars threw his long leg over Seth's thigh, allowing Seth's cock to slip up his crack, nestle

near his entrance. At the same time Lars reached round and stroked Seth's hole with his finger.

Lars was Seth's first partner who truly enjoyed going both ways. “What do you want?”

Lars whispered hotly. “You want me? You want to fuck my ass? Or do you want me to do you?”

All this talk of breakup, of loneliness, it formed a hole inside of Seth, which needed filling.

“Fuck me,” he said, surprising himself. “I want you inside of me.”

Lars smiled. In a flash, he was up on all fours and digging in the back pocket of his

discarded jeans. He pulled out a condom and a small packet of lube. “I came prepared.”

“Son of a bitch,” Seth said, but he laughed despite himself. Only Lars had the balls to bring

lube when meeting his ex-boyfriend.

“You know what?” Lars whispered. He crawled between Seth's legs, grabbed one, and

lifted it onto his shoulder.

“What?” Seth asked breathlessly.

“I want you to know a few things.” Lars ripped open the lube and squirted it onto his

fingers.

Carol of the Bellskis

67

Seth tried to listen, but at the first touch of cool gel against his hole, his concentration

slipped.

“Cold,” he gasped.

“Shh.” Lars's fingers instantly warmed the gel, rubbing it into Seth's skin, skating against

the surface of his hole. With each pass, Seth shuddered. He was so sensitive there, every breath,

every flicker of movement, magnified, electrified through his nervous system.

“Now lie there and listen,” Lars demanded huskily. His finger pressed inside, and Seth

moaned.

“Let me tell you why we need to make this work,” Lars said. Seth barely paid attention.

All the proof he needed was in the sensation below, that steady rhythm Lars's finger pushed into

him. “You and I have the best sex I've ever had in all my years.”

“Ditto.” Seth gasped as Lars pushed deep inside. Seth clenched the satiny sheets in his

hands.

“You're the only person I've ever met who likes Al Jolson music as much as I do.”

Seth expelled a breathless laugh. “That's…that's because we're complete losers.”

Lars stared at him, through him. “You and I have the same taste in music and like horror

movies and hate sitcoms.”

“Who doesn't?” Seth said, but Lars shushed him.

“You make me furious, you make me laugh, and I never feel like I've done anything when

I do it without you.” Lars pulled his finger out. He smiled and readjusted Seth's legs. “You're the

one I wake up thinking about and the one I go to bed dreaming of, and that's even when I sleep

alone, and even when I lie about how I feel. I want you to know that.”

“Oh God,” Seth cried, closing his eyes. “Lars, for God's sake, fuck me already.”

Lars laughed thickly and moved into position.

“Hold your legs open,” he whispered, and Seth did as he was told, spreading himself open,

splayed like a display; cum dripped from his cock as he watched his lover. Lars's eyes raked in

Seth's body.

“Spread your legs, baby,” he whispered. “I want to fuck you deep.”

68

Astrid Amara

Seth swallowed, his hands trembling as he opened for the claiming. Lars moved into

position, and Seth tensed.

“Shh,” Lars said again. “Don't resist. Let me enter.” He guided his thick cock to Seth's hole

and pressed in the head. Seth's muscle quivered and then gave, and Lars pushed in.

He's inside my body
. It always amazed him, this part, this trust, letting another man possess

him. It felt so shocking and filling, and Seth sucked his breath in and held it as Lars pushed

deeper. Slowly, the sensations of stretch and pull and strain gave way to a slow, aching pleasure.

Lars stopped.

“Breathe,” he reminded Seth.

Seth exhaled. Lars's cock pushed in farther. Seth forced himself to breathe normally, and

with each exhalation, Lars claimed more space, advanced where Seth's body receded,

relinquishing space.

Seth marveled at the feeling. He reached down to touch the root of Lars's dick, to feel

Lars's balls under him, resting against his ass cheeks. Hot skin on hot skin. Connected by

throbbing flesh. One body.

“You good?” Lars whispered. His voice sounded strained. He gripped Seth's thighs,

holding him wide open.

“Yeah.” Seth breathed out and pushed his hips toward Lars.

Lars started a slow rhythm, each thrust long and deep. Seth's world contracted and

expanded; it dimmed and brightened with each movement; and then Lars changed angles and

Seth's world blazed with the voltage of orgasm shooting through him. Each stroke burned hotter,

and he flexed upward to meet each of Lars's thrusts.

Lars reached down and pumped Seth's cock with his hand, changed the angle of his thrust,

and Seth cried out loudly and came, his release emanating from somewhere deep within him,

from his soul. All his anxiety and fears and loneliness and grief poured out of him and onto his

belly in blinding pleasure.

Lars continued to fuck him with mounting desperation, and then, all at once, he froze

above Seth as if struck by lightning. Seth felt the pulse of Lars's cock at his entrance, the flesh

throbbing with Lars's ejaculation.

Carol of the Bellskis

69

Seth slowly lowered his legs, which were beginning to cramp. Lars pulled out of his body

and dumped the condom in the trash near the bed. He collapsed on top of Seth.

Seth felt sated, content, unable to conjure any resentment. He was just…happy. “Move,”

he whispered to Lars, heavy on his chest, but Lars's eyes were closed, and he smiled and clearly

ignored the command. Seth didn't bother repeating it.

Below them, the early-morning sounds of the boarders signaled the beginning of the fifth

day of Hanukkah. Seth's holiday was almost over. His aunt and uncle were still missing.

But Lars remained. Lars's cell phone rang in his trousers, and Lars mumbled something

expletive but didn't bother to raise his head off Seth's chest. Seth looked down, saw the drying

stains of his release right next to where Lars was nuzzling his dark chest hair, and smiled.

“It could be the office calling,” Seth said.

“Fuck 'em,” Lars mumbled.

Seth stroked the back of Lars's neck. “Chaim Siegel needs his serving of wheat berries.”

Lars grumbled a laugh into Seth's belly. It tickled.

“Wheat berries. Glutinous, you know.”

“Don't tell Chana.”

Lars yawned and sat up. He ran his hand through Seth's chest hair. “Let's shower.”

“Together?” Seth raised an eyebrow. “Someone might hear us.”

“I don't care.”

“There's a first.”

“I'm starting small,” Lars said. “I'll cut my teeth on a crowd of strangers.”

Seth rolled over and got out of bed. They showered together and shaved, which took longer

than necessary because Lars was a perfectionist and wouldn't release Seth from the shower until

every single whisker was uniformly eradicated.

“All right, already,” Seth complained. He held up his fingers. They were pruned. “I've

never spent this much time in a shower with a guy without a blowjob being involved.”

Lars laughed. “Uh-oh. What should be done about that?”

70

Astrid Amara

“I think it's my turn.” Seth lowered himself and turned Lars around to block the spray from

shooting directly into his eyes. Lars's cock was already hard, obtrusively begging for attention,

nudging little
Excuse me? Hello?
Morse code against Seth's hip the entire shower.

Seth pulled the hot, wet flesh into his mouth and heard Lars's appreciative grumble from

above. He felt Lars's fingers in his hair as he pulled Lars deeper into his mouth, as far as he could

without choking. It was easy to set a rhythm, and Lars was ready for it. It didn't take very long at

all before Lars gasped and gripped Seth to him and salty cum filled Seth's mouth. Of course, Seth

himself was now desperate, and so Lars had to return the favor, and by the time they stepped out

of the shower, the water was cold.

“You'll have to apologize to the other boarders,” Seth said as they toweled each other off.

“No hot showers for them this morning.”

“I'll tell the truth,” Lars said. “Sorry, folks, but it took me fifteen minutes to suck Seth off

this morning.”

Seth whipped his towel at Lars's ass. “I'd love to hear you say that, seriously.” He laughed,

but Lars didn't.

“What?” Seth asked, suddenly self-conscious.

Lars's blue eyes were unreadable. He kissed Seth but didn't say anything further until they

were downstairs and preparing breakfast.

* * * * *

Bellskis' bank that two charges had recently been made, one at Seattle-Tacoma airport and one in

Kamloops, British Columbia.

“The fact that the charges were on the same day in different cities suggests that one of their

cards may have been stolen,” Constable Singh informed Seth. “We will contact authorities in the

United States and see if they can follow up.”

Seth arranged to meet with the Hermans, good friends of Judi and Carl, and put Ahava on

speakerphone so she could be part of the discussion as well. They went over possible locations

that the Bellskis might have traveled to, detailed physical descriptions, the names of their doctors

for medical records. Seth put all the information together and turned it over to Constable Singh.

Carol of the Bellskis

71

Despite the effort, no one felt any better after the meeting. Seth extended the hospitality of

the B and B to Carl and Judi's friends, inviting them to stay for Hanukkah that night.

“We have our own kids over, but thank you,” Sally Herman said, holding Seth's hand. “I

can't thank you enough for taking care of the B and B and Judi's guests while they're gone. I

know she will appreciate it. I hope it hasn't been hard.”

You have no idea.