Carrier 02: Shadow of the Mark (19 page)

This was it. I was finally getting Adam, all of him. My head broke the surface, and he pulled me aboard into his strong, warm arms. My heart jumped wildly in my chest.

“Are you absolutely sure?” he whispered breathlessly, searching my eyes.

“One hundred percent. I’ve never wanted or needed anything more in my life.” I stood on my tiptoes and pulled him to me, our minds and bodies totally immersed in each other.

I woke up with the weight of Adam’s arm draped over me. He was still fast asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling. I snuggled into his side and allowed myself to relive what had just happened, but came up blank. The last thing I remembered was kissing after we got out of the water. I put my arm over Adam’s chest and shivered. How long had we been asleep? I pushed myself up, wrapped the blanket around me, and nudged Adam. He still slept soundly.

Trying to clear the confused fog from my mind, I got up and padded over to where I’d discarded my clothes earlier. I pulled on my jeans and sweater, then sat down beside Adam again. I shook his arm and whispered in his ear, “Time to wake up, Adam.” His skin felt oddly cool. “Adam, wake up!” He still didn’t budge.

A rush of fear ran through me. “Adam?” I put my hands on either side of his face and shook him again. His arm that was draped across his chest fell to the side, completely limp. I stared at it in horror. Blood pumped through me, swishing by my ears. “Adam!” I shouted, tapping his cheek. “Open your eyes! Please?”

But there was nothing.

M
y hair whipped against my face. I felt as if someone was gripping my throat, slowly squeezing until it hurt to breathe. What had happened? What had I done? Why couldn’t I remember? Wind lashed around the boat, rocking it viciously. I lifted one of Adam’s eyelids and gasped. There was no trace of green, and his usual blue elemental swirl was gone, changed to a dead-flat black. Not daring to breathe, I checked the other one. It was the same.

“Adam!” I screamed, feeling my emotions escape from the confines of my control. My element was bubbling and fizzing inside my whole body. It felt unfamiliar, burning through my veins, working its way to my heart and gripping it tight. My head was fuzzy, everything was wrong . . . so wrong.

“Adam!” I screamed again. I froze as I caught my reflection in his eye. Horrified, I leaned closer. My eyes were gleaming white, shimmering like crystals. I rubbed them, expecting them to feel different—hot, maybe—but my fingers were numb, my senses dulled. Then the torrential rain started. It fell in great gray sheets, slicing down around us. The waves came crashing in like walls, smashing against our yacht.

I felt nothing but the burning ache in my chest, and the scream trapped deep within me, bursting to come out. I turned my face away from Adam’s motionless body and looked at the clouds that billowed above our heads. Completely disconnected from everything other than pain and Adam, I picked him up in my arms, surprised at how light he felt. The wind closed in on us, lifting us high in an icy-cold cocoon of cloud and air.

Then it was quiet. Too quiet. Panic exploded through me as I realized Adam was no longer in my arms. I grasped at the foggy haze around me, searching for the substance of his body in the misty nothingness. “Adam!” I gasped, feeling like I was going to burst with the emotion.

“Don’t worry, you’re still holding him tight.”

I whipped my head around, trying to find the source of the voice. “I don’t have him. I can’t see him!”

“He’s right here.” A warm sensation filled my heart like a temporary connection to my human emotions. The tears started spilling down my face.

“What’s going on? What have I done?” Whispers filled my ears and then began to materialize, swirling in the mist, grainy hues of beige gathering form. The haze darkened and moved toward me. It was the Sidhe—my spirit guide. I hadn’t seen him since before I evoked my element. “You!” I gasped. He smiled, his face more ghostly than I remembered. His long beard and white hair faded into the wispy clouds that weaved between us. “What happened to Adam? What’s happening to me?”

His words floated through the air, but his lips didn’t move. “Adam is still in your arms. You can’t feel him because you can’t feel yourself.”

I looked down and ran a hand down each arm. He was right. I felt nothing. “But I feel my tears,” I said, putting my hands up to my face, to the water still pouring from my eyes.

The Sidhe crouched down beside me, took both my hands, and held them in his. “You still have the connection to the elements, just not your body.”

I shook my head in confusion, staring at his unspeaking lips while trying to focus on his words. “I don’t understand.”

“What do you feel in here?” He placed his hand over my heart, and I flinched.

“It stings.”

“What else?”

“I don’t know,” I cried, shaking my head. I felt a twinge deep in my chest.

“What else?” the Sidhe repeated.

I focused on this new sensation. It was warm, nearly hot. I felt its grip on my heart, like it was hugging it tight, making it difficult to breathe. I forced in a deep breath and allowed this new sensation to flow through me, letting it ripple to my fingers and toes. The Sidhe smiled. I tore my eyes from him to my chest. “Adam,” I whispered.

“Yes,” the Sidhe said, removing his hand. The water that had been pouring from my eyes pooled onto the gray haze by my knees. My hand ached to skim its glistening, reflective surface. “Give in to it,” the Sidhe urged.

I let my hand glide to the sparkling puddle and watched as the liquid followed my hand like mercury on a smooth surface. I gasped. “How can I do that?” I whispered. “Adam is the water element.”

“Look,” the Sidhe said, pointing back to the pool.

On my hands and knees, I bent over the liquid and gazed deep into its glazed surface.

I saw my crystal-white eyes, but there, right at the center . . . blue. A blue so unusual I recognized it immediately. It was Adam’s blue. His element. I fell away from the water as the realization hit. I’d taken Adam’s element!

“NO!” I shouted, pushing myself farther away from the reflection I didn’t want to see. “I couldn’t have done this. NO! NO! NO!” I grasped my hand over my heart and reached out to the warm feeling that hugged it, knowing it was true. The tears started to pour again, like little waterfalls I knew weren’t real tears. “How did this happen? How do I give it back?”

“It is nearly time for An Ciorcal Iomlán. This is what you’re supposed to do, but it’s too early.”

“The full circle! What is it?”

“It is what you were selected for.”

“The alignment?”

He shook his head. “It is too late for that.”

“No, it’s not. We’re ready for the solstice.”

“You must prepare for the Filleadh ar an Bandia.”

“I don’t know what that is,” I protested.

“You are the Cluaín. The answer you seek is in the stone.”

“What stone? Why won’t you just tell me?”

“The Cluaín cannot be guided. You already have the answers you seek.” A ghost of a smile made his lips twitch, and his form began to swirl again. “I leave you in good hands.”

“Whose hands?”

“Those who surround you with protection and who seek the true end.”

The Sidhe started to fade. “Don’t go!” I grasped at his brown cloak, but it disintegrated in my fingers, swirling away to join the rest of the clouds that had begun spinning around me. The burning pain returned. Now I knew it was the sting of Adam’s element fighting for space with my own. I felt the solidness of Adam’s body in my arms again. The relief of being able to feel him was quickly replaced by fear. The cushioning cloud that had been carrying us dissipated, leaving me sitting on the wet grass outside of the DeRíses’ house. I cradled Adam on my lap while the air whipped and the rain fell. I screamed out, not the powerful roar of an angry element but the cry of a girl with a broken heart. I put my hands on either side of his face, and willed with every ounce of my being to put his element back in him. Nothing happened. It was wrapped too tightly around my heart. I tried again, holding my breath, all the energy I had, until it left me breathless and exhausted.

The outside lights flickered on, and I heard a door slam.

“Megan?” Fionn called from the front door. He ran toward us, followed quickly by Rían, Áine, and Chloe. Rían landed down beside me with a thud. “Megan, what happened?” I looked back at him, unable to speak. “Holy shit! What’s wrong with your eyes?”

Chloe knelt beside us and put a hand on either side of my face. “Megan, you have to tell us what happened.” The sting of tears built behind my nose, causing my head to ache. I couldn’t cry. It was like the tears were frozen, trapped inside me. The rain continued to pour down; it lashed at my face with such brutality that it stung. I welcomed the pain.

“We have to get them inside,” Fionn ordered. “Now!”

“Finally, you’re awake,” Adam said. “I thought I’d lost you for a while there.”

I tried to sit up, but my head was fuzzy and dizzy.

“Take it easy,” he said.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“About two hours.” He traced his finger over my shoulder, down my arm, and along my waist and hip. “That was quite something, wasn’t it?”

I risked moving again and pulled myself closer, molding my body against his. “Hang on a second.” I looked at him, confused, and then my stomach twisted and churned as reality gripped me. “This isn’t real, is it?”

Adam smiled and wrapped me in the blanket. “It’s real here.” He put his hand over my heart.

“I don’t want to wake up.”

“You have to. We need you.”

“Stay with me!”

“I’ll be here.” The heat built in my heart until it burned, and the bitter sting of consciousness engulfed me.

F
our worried faces peered at me as I lay on Adam’s bed. My arm ached. I glanced down to see the source of the pain, but it was my own hand clenching Adam’s.

He was still unconscious, his chest rising and falling with clockwork precision. I sat up and ran my other hand down his cheek. He didn’t react, but my face tingled. Curious, I touched him again. Yes, I definitely felt my caress on Adam’s face, like it was my own. Shock rippled through me at the strange sensation. I looked down at my hand connected with his and felt my grip back. I smiled sadly and pried my fingers away, allowing my tears to fall onto our hands, sensing as the wetness hit his hand through mine.

“Megan.” Fionn’s voice sounded far away. “Megan!” he repeated. I snapped out of my stupor and slowly turned to face him. “Megan, we need you to tell us what happened.” I didn’t know where to start. I felt my gaze being drawn to Adam, but Fionn grabbed my chin and pulled it back in his direction. “Megan, stay focused! Talk to us.”

“Let me try.” Áine removed Fionn’s hand from my chin and sat down beside me. “Megan, we need to help you and Adam, but you have to tell us what happened.” She leaned over and picked up his hand. I gasped, feeling as if she were holding mine, sensing her element fizz under his skin.

I stared up at Áine, wanting to speak, but couldn’t find my voice. She gazed into my eyes and winced. I opened my mouth, trying again, and finally found the connection to my tongue. “He’s here,” I whispered, putting one hand to my heart and the other to my head.

Áine cocked her head and peered at me closer. “He’s here,” she explained, putting her arm on Adam’s chest.

“No.” I took her hand and put it over my heart. “He’s here.”

Áine glanced from me to Fionn, shaking her head.

“She’s still delirious,” Rían said. He paced up and down the room, his strides long and impatient. “Shouldn’t we smack her or something? We don’t have time for this.”

Fionn turned to me again. “Megan, what do you mean?”

I focused on Fionn, willing him to see what I felt, Adam’s element pulsing back at him. Fionn stared at me, searching deep in the glittering crystal white of my eyes. Then he pulled back sharply.

“It can’t be!” Fionn paled and glanced from Adam to me in shock. “No!”

“What?” Rían came up and stared into my face. “What is it?”

“Adam . . . Adam’s element . . .” Fionn said.

Áine ran to the other side of the bed and raised Adam’s eyelids, revealing black lifeless eyes. A small cry escaped her lips. “You took his element! How?”

“I don’t know,” I spluttered. “I woke up and he was unconscious, and then the storm took over and we were floating and, and . . .” I broke off. How could I even begin to explain what had happened? “The Sidhe said I was the Cluaín, that this was what I was selected for . . . but he said it was too early.” I shook my head in confusion. “He said something else, some more Irish . . . I didn’t understand.”

“The Sidhe visited you?” Fionn avoided my eyes.

“Yes, he said . . .” I racked my brain, trying to remember the strange, ethereal conversation. “He said the answer was in the stone.”

“Christ, could he not have told you what it was?”

“I asked him, but he said I already had it.”

Fionn paced the room, rubbing the back of his head incessantly. “So it’s true. I need to speak to Hugh.”

Rían’s eyes narrowed. “What’s true?”

Fionn winced. “Don’t worry about it now.” His eyes flicked between Adam and me with a mixture of horror and panic etched into face. I reached for Áine. I didn’t want her forgiveness for this, but I wanted to explain. “Áine, I—”

“Wait,” she said abruptly. “Guys, would you mind giving Megan and me a minute alone?”

“Now is hardly the time for girly chats!” Rían spat.

“Just give me five minutes.”

Fionn walked over to the other side of the bed and ran his hand over Adam’s face before resting it on his shoulder. “How could I have let this happen?”

“Fionn, stop blaming yourself,” Áine said. “Please, let me speak with Megan. We’ll sort this out.”

“I should have put a stop to this earlier.”

Áine’s voice softened. “You know Adam never would have listened.”

With a sigh, Fionn tapped Adam’s shoulder and reluctantly left the room with Rían in his wake.