Cat Snips - a Short Story Collection by Cat Johnson (4 page)

Hmm. She leaned against the bed
and the cat came around the corner. Padding up to her, he jumped to
put both paws on her shoulders and butt his head against her chin.
She laughed, grabbed him and pulled him into her lap. “Perhaps
I’ve fallen in love with you instead, my handsome Black Cat.”
She whispered it, but the truth, the fact that she didn’t think
she loved Max anymore, sounded loudly in her head.

Max emerged from the bathroom and
frowned down at her and the cat. “Don’t think that thing
is sleeping in bed with us.”

She bit her tongue to prevent
herself from saying what she really wanted to, that she would far
rather sleep with the cat than him. Instead, she just kissed the cat
on the head and placed him gently on a throw she’d put on a
chair for him in the living room.

Max pulled back the covers and
slid underneath, patting the bed next to him. She raised a brow. She
recognized that look in his eye. Was he kidding?

She got into bed, flipped off the
light and rolled away from him. “Good night.”
She felt him snuggle up
against her back. Felt his erection pressing into her. Felt his hand
start to snake up her leg. Time for payback. “Now? It’s
too late, Max. I’m tired. Sorry.” Then she reached down
and gave his hand a squeeze and pushed it away.

In the next room, a very
satisfied cat listened carefully, smiled, then fell asleep.

The next morning, after a long
sound sleep, he licked his paw and rubbed it against one ear while
half-heartedly listening to the news program the Max-man had on the
television.

He was sure to keep himself
hidden under the dining room table since the Max-man was home alone
with him.

There was no love lost there, on
either side. Although he had to admit, he enjoyed tripping him the
night before when he arrived home so late. Since he had smelled
alcohol on the man’s breath the moment he had walked in the
door, upsetting him had been ridiculously easy.

He was especially happy he had
done it after he saw how rudely the man treated his woman. And he
meant
his
woman,
not
the Max-man’s woman. He wasn’t going to accept this
relationship easily. He remembered how his woman had refused the man
sex. That had been classic.
He knew his woman had
spunk.

Max-man was currently unpacking
his suitcase. His woman had already left for work, but this man
seemed to set his own hours and hadn’t made a move to leave yet
even though it was late in the morning.

When the cell phone rang, Max-man
answered it. The cat had to pause in his cleaning to listen.

“
I’ll be into work as
soon as I can… No, Belinda will get suspicious if I have to
work late again tonight. Relax. We leave for another trip in only two
days. You’ll just have to wait until then, you insatiable
nympho… No, I’m not going to break up with her. Are you
going to leave your husband? …Then stop pushing me.”

The cat’s eyes opened wide.
He knew it. That bastard was cheating on his woman. If only he could
prove it to her. What a perfect way to get him out of her life
permanently. He had to do something, because the thought of his woman
being with this man made the bile rise in his throat.

When the Max-man finally left to
go to his job and his whore, the cat wasted no time. He’d find
proof if it killed him. He pawed through the dirty laundry on the
floor, sniffing for perfume and looking for lipstick. That’s
how men who cheated sometimes got caught on those soap operas. He
found nothing. Max-man must do his cheating naked.

The suitcase was still open and
on the floor, so he settled himself inside it and started to paw
through the pockets. And there, right in the side pocket that he
nearly overlooked, was the overwhelming scent of a female human. He
tugged at the zipper with his teeth and his claws until finally it
opened enough for him to slip one nail in and pull out a lace pair of
obviously worn panties.

Ah, ha!

The Max-man didn’t seem
like the sentimental type, but his whore did seem like the vindictive
sort. The cat would just bet she slipped these panties into the side
pocket, hoping that his woman would find them so she could have the
Max-man all to herself.

Well, he would make sure she got
her wish. He left them just as they were, half in and half out of the
pocket in the open suitcase on the floor. All he had to do now was
wait for Belinda to get home from work in a few hours and find the
evidence. He glanced at the clock. He would just curl up right inside
this comfy piece of luggage for a nice little nap until she did.

Belinda walked in the door to the
sound of the ringing phone. She ran for it and grabbed it just in
time before the machine picked up. “Hello.”

“
Hey. Grace and I want to
do something tonight. It’s Halloween and we’re missing
our youth and feeling like we need to do something to celebrate.
Something that involves scary movies and lots of chocolate.”

Belinda laughed, out of breath
from her sprint for the phone. “I’d love to, but Max just
got home late last night and I kind of feel like I have to spend some
time with him.”

She could practically hear the
face Donna was making on the other end of the line. “Okay, but
if you change your mind, we’ll be at my place.”

“
All right. Thanks.”
She hung up and dropped her bag on the counter. All she wanted to do
right now was take off her shoes, which were killing her, and change
into something comfy.

Walking into the bedroom, she had
to smile when she spied her black cat curled up in an adorable circle
in Max’s suitcase. “Hey, you.” She bent to pet him.
“You better not let Max see you in there.”

Then her gaze hit on a small
scrap of lace in the side pocket. Frowning, she reached out to take
it. What
it
was hit her like a full force body blow.

“
Oh my God.”

The cat put a paw on her leg. She
pushed it away and stood up. “Not now, Black Cat.”

Her heart was pounding, her head
spinning. She was holding some other woman’s underwear in her
hand, unable to move or even think. Then her brain snapped into
action. He would deny it. She knew him too well now. He would
probably say they were hers and she was crazy for forgetting she put
them in his bag. Everything was always somehow her fault, even though
he was the cheating bastard.
She shook her head. She
had to find more proof. But whatever she found, cell phone bills,
lipstick, love notes, it wouldn’t matter. He would somehow
explain it away and deny it.

Then she realized it didn’t
matter. This was her place and as of now, he was out of it. She
started to fling his stuff in his suitcase, thinking how convenient
of him to leave it on the floor and open for her. And when the
suitcase was full, she would move on to putting his stuff in garbage
bags. That seemed fitting.

She paused in her flinging just
long enough to make two phone calls. Call number one was to the
locksmith to have her deadbolt changed. Call number two was to
Donna’s house. The voicemail message picked up.

“
Hey, I’m coming
tonight and I’ve thought of something very Halloween-ish for us
to do. Just make sure Grace brings her spell book.” As she hung
up the phone, she glanced out the window at the huge orb of a full
moon just appearing on the horizon. She was feeling very much like a
witch at the moment and she was definitely in the mood to be bad.

Chapter Five

“
I can’t believe he
was cheating on you. I always knew he was an ass, but I never
dreamed…” Donna poured her a big mug full of hot cider
spiked with rum. She handed it to Belinda. “Here, you need
this.”

“
All men suck.” Grace
unwrapped another piece of chocolate.

“
You got that right.”
Donna nodded.

Belinda was as up for a male
bashing session as they were, but it somehow didn’t seem very
satisfying tonight. And she was really on edge waiting for her cell
phone to ring. It was only a matter of time before Max came home and
found not only all his belongings in the hall, but also that his key
no longer worked.

God, she hoped he didn’t go
crazy, kick down the door and hurt the cat or something. Then she
remembered. This was Max she was talking about. He would never risk
scuffing his shoes, and she doubted he could kick down a door even if
he wanted to. She looked up to find both her friends watching her.

“
You okay?” Donna
asked.

She forced a smile. “Yeah,
I’m fine.”

“
I know what will cheer you
up.” Grace got up and pulled the spell book out of her bag. “I
even picked up colored candles, incense and herbs to enhance the
spells.”

Belinda had to smile. Grace was
really getting into this. She watched her sprinkle the table with
dried rosemary.

Donna rubbed her hands together.
“Okay. Me first.”
She closed her eyes. “I
wish I had enough money to buy a beach house. Oh, and tax free.”

Grace shook her head. “We’re
not wishing on a falling star, or blowing out a birthday candle. You
have to do it the right way.”

Belinda laughed. “Yeah.
Don’t be so silly, Donna.”

Grace shot her a nasty look
because of her sarcasm and opened the book. “Here. I found a
spell to attract money in the book. First I have to light the green
candle. Next, you have to envision the money coming to you. Now,
chant this, ‘Money, money, come to me. I deserve prosperity.’”

Donna did as she was told, then
sat there expectantly. “Well?”

“
It takes time. Jeez. What
do you want? Instant gratification? And you have to help a little bit
too. Did you buy a lottery ticket yet for this week’s drawing?”

Donna scowled. “No.”

“
Well, don’t you
think you should?” Grace raised an eyebrow.

Donna rolled her eyes. “Yes.
Okay. Now it’s Belinda’s turn. What do you want to do?
I’ll help you chant if it will make Max’s penis fall off
faster.”

Belinda smiled. “I don’t
want that to happen. Although, if he suddenly developed erectile
dysfunction disorder, it would serve him right.”

“
There’s no spell for
that in the book, but I don’t see why we can’t write our
own. Ooo, I’ve got it. How about, ‘What you reap is what
you sow. Let Max’s penis refuse to grow.’” Grace
looking extremely pleased with herself and her rhyme.

Donna clapped her hands. “That
was great. Or how about this one? ‘For what he has done to
thee, let him receive it back, times three.’ That way it’s
up to karma or the Goddess or whoever to decide what happens to him.”

“
Hmm. Not bad. You guys are
good at this. But I don’t care what happens to Max, as long as
he stays out of my life. I just want to be happy and eventually find
a decent guy.” Belinda took another sip of cinnamon and
rum-laced cider.

“
Well, for a love spell we
have to light the red candle. Actually, it’s pink for love and
red for lust and passion, but they were out of pink so red is close
enough, I guess.” Grace scrambled to change to the appropriate
color for the spell.

“
Lust and passion are good
too.” Belinda considered her spell. “Okay, how about, ‘By
the moon and by the sun, let me find he who is the one. May he be
loyal and may he be true, this is my desire, I ask this of you’.”
She finished the rhyme and looked up to see what Donna and Grace
thought.

Grace screwed up her face and
turned to Donna. “She always has to outdo us. Have you noticed
that?”

Donna shrugged. “Yeah, but
she’s good at it. What can I say?”

Belinda rolled her eyes. “It’s
not a competition.”

“
Whatever. Anyway. My turn.
My boss has been a total bitch to me, so I’m going to curse
her.” Grace blew out the red candle and lit a black one. “Black
must be good for curses, right?”

“
I don’t know. This
is your thing, honey.” Donna shook her head.

“
Well, it can’t hurt.
Okay, here it goes. ‘Vengeance is mine, your reign is through,
let all of your meanness, return to you. Lose your job and cry boo
hoo hoo’.”

Donna frowned at Grace. “That
was like some sick warped version of a Dr. Seuss rhyme.”

Grace humphed. “You’re
just jealous.”

Belinda smiled. “Okay. No
fighting. What do we do now?”

“
Eat more chocolate?”
Donna suggested.

“
Chocolate later. Now, we
cleanse our lives by writing down whatever we want to rid ourselves
of on a piece of paper and burning it. Do you have a cauldron or
something?” Grace turned to Donna.

Donna snorted out a laugh.
“Sorry, my cauldron is out being repaired by the wizard. Will a
fondue pot do?”

That comment elicited more faces
from Grace, but they ended up all in a circle around the fondue pot
with burning pieces of paper from Donna’s computer printer in
their hands.

“
I rid myself of my boss.”