Chase the Stars (Lang Downs 2 ) (12 page)

He shouldn’t have been able to pick Chris’s laughter out of the mixture of voices around him as all the jackaroos headed in for dinner, but he heard it clear as a bell, cutting through the deeper tones of the older men. Jesse couldn’t stop the impulse to look around and find Chris. To his surprise, Chris was kneeling down next to Neil, playing with the old kelpie who was never far from Neil’s side. Jesse had seen how protective Neil was of his dog—a mutual sentiment from what he could tell—which only added to his shock.

“Come, Max,” Chris called playfully, running a few steps from where Neil watched, grinning. The dog looked up at Neil, clearly asking permission, but the moment it was given, he shot off after Chris, nipping at his heels. Chris laughed louder and kept running.

“You should go join them,” Caine said, startling

Jesse out of his spying.
“What?”
“Max loves to play, especially when he hasn’t spent

the day herding sheep. Tomorrow evening he’ll be too tired to run this way, since he and Neil will spend the day driving sheep into the pen for shearing and then out to the paddocks to head out of the valley in a few days, but he’ll wear Chris out in no time. Not to mention, I’m not sure Chris should be running that way with his ribs.”

“He said he was feeling a lot better,” Jesse replied automatically.

“That’s good,” Caine said, “but that wasn’t what I said. You should go join them.”
“You think so?” Jesse asked.

“Why wouldn’t I think so?” Caine replied. “You and he have been practically inseparable since you got here. Did you have a fight?”

“No, we didn’t have a fight,” Jesse said, glad he could be honest about that at least. He wasn’t about to tell Caine what had really happened. “He… he didn’t come to the machine shed today.”

Caine chuckled. “He spent the afternoon with Neil and Max, learning about sheep. I heard him and Neil while I helped Jason and Polly teach Seth the same things.”

Jesse hesitated a moment longer, watching the easy laughter between Chris and Neil. He refused to label the churning in his stomach as jealousy.

“You do know Neil is so straight it’s scary and that he’s completely taken with Molly, right? Whatever there is between you and Chris, Neil is no threat to that.”

“I was just reminding myself of that fact,” Jesse admitted. “It didn’t help.”
“Then go over there and join them,” Caine repeated. “You don’t get what you want in life without fighting for it. If he’s what you want, standing over here with me isn’t going to help either.”
“You know,” Jesse said with a smile. “You’re right. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Caine said, returning Jesse’s smile. “Just don’t be late for dinner.”
Jesse had no intention of opening them up to that kind of scrutiny so soon, and certainly not without Chris’s agreement, but he’d already said enough. Caine hadn’t seemed disapproving. On the contrary, he seemed encouraging, but Jesse didn’t want to give Caine reason to change his mind.
“Hey, mate,” he said, joining Chris and Neil. “You didn’t come help out with the tractor today.”
“Hi, Jesse,” Chris said, the smile on his face so luminous that Jesse wondered momentarily if he could drag Chris somewhere private for a kiss before dinner. “You know I’m not really any help with the engines. I thought it was time I started learning how to be a jackaroo.”
“He has a way with dogs,” Neil said approvingly. “Max doesn’t listen to just anyone.”
“He just likes me because you told him to listen to me,” Chris said, reaching down to stroke Max’s head.
“No,” Neil insisted. “Usually the only other person he’ll listen to consistently is Macklin, but he listened to you all afternoon.”
Jesse almost said something flirtatious, but Neil was standing right there, smiling at Chris encouragingly. Jesse didn’t think a comment directed at Chris in Neil’s hearing would really have unforeseen consequences. Neil had helped save Chris’s life. He’d defended Caine and Macklin to the other hands, but Jesse wasn’t Caine and Macklin. He was just a new, unknown jackaroo, and if Jesse had misjudged Neil’s tolerance, he had enough sway with the other jackaroos to make the summer miserable. Jesse didn’t
think
it would come to that, but he wasn’t quite ready to take the chance. “Caine told us not to be late to dinner,” he said instead. “Maybe we should go inside.”

“H
I
, C
HRIS
,” Seth said, running up to his brother, Jason in tow. “Guess what I did today?”

“I don’t know,” Chris said, reaching out to ruffle Seth’s light brown hair with his good hand. Seth had gotten their mother’s coloring. Chris supposed he could attribute his own blond hair to their father, but he didn’t know for sure. He nodded for Jesse and Neil to go on inside. He wanted a few minutes alone with his brother. “What did you do today?”

“I learned to herd sheep!” Seth was practically bouncing in his hand-me-down boots. “Jason taught me, and Caine pretended to be a sheep so I’d have someone to practice on!”

Chris had a hard time imagining Caine running around baaing like a sheep and trying to go the opposite direction of where the dog wanted him to go, but whatever the grazier had done, Seth was enchanted with the memory of it. “Sounds like fun.”

“It was, and tomorrow Jason is going to help with the shearing, and he said I could go with him too!”
“That’s great,” Chris said, swallowing down his jealousy. It wasn’t Seth’s fault Chris had a broken arm and could only be of limited help.
“So what did you do today?” Seth asked.
“The same thing you did,” Chris said, “only without Caine as the sheep. Neil taught me some commands using his training course.”
“It’s fun, isn’t it?” Seth asked.
“It is,” Chris said. “Does this mean you like it here?”
“Yes,” Seth said, his voice small. “Is that all right?”
“Yes,” Chris said. “I like it here too, although I think I’ll like it better once I get this lead weight off my arm.”
“Just a couple more weeks,” Seth said.
And then physical therapy to build the muscles back up again
. But Chris didn’t say that to Seth. His brother was trying to make him feel better, and Chris appreciated it. It really had been a good afternoon. He’d started learning a useful skill.
“Can we go eat now?” Seth asked. “I’m hungry.”
“Sure,” Chris said.
Jesse was still there, sitting alone in the corner, pushing his food around his plate. Seth waved at him enthusiastically. “I can’t wait to tell Jesse about Caine.”
“Go do that,” Chris said. “I need to talk to Kami.”
Seth looked at him strangely but hurried off to grab a plate and regale Jesse with tales of his afternoon.
“What are you doing in here?” Kami asked when Chris came around to the kitchen.
“I needed to say thank you,” Chris said. “I took your advice and had a good afternoon, much better than I thought I could. Neil really taught me a lot, in between talking about how wonderful Molly was and hoping she’d notice him this summer. I wouldn’t have asked for his help if you hadn’t made me think about what I was doing when we talked this morning.”
“He’s a good boy,” Kami said, “now that he’s starting to settle down. You could do worse when it comes to learning from someone. Now get out of here. I have work to do.”
Chris chuckled and left the kitchen with a shake of his head. His reaction made him smile even more widely. A week ago, he’d have worried what he’d done to offend Kami. Now he chalked it up to the aborigine’s irascibility. Lang Downs was starting to feel like home.
Out in the canteen, Chris filled his plate with Kami’s extraordinary pad thai and walked over to where Seth was still recounting Caine’s antics to Jesse. Chris sat down without comment, letting himself get caught up in Seth’s tale. His little brother had a knack for wringing every bit of humor out of a funny story, and Jesse was grinning from ear to ear and chuckling by the time Seth was done.
“Did Caine really do that?” Jesse asked Chris.
“I don’t know,” Chris replied, caught up in the lightheartedness of the moment. “I didn’t hear any of this until just a minute ago. I spent the afternoon with a different teacher. It was fun, but not that much fun.”
“Working with the dogs takes real talent,” Jesse said to Seth. “Not all the jackaroos have the patience for it. Those are the ones who end up riding fences or cleaning out barns. You should both be very proud of yourselves.”
“Really?” Chris asked. “I figured everyone worked with the dogs.”
“No,” Jesse said, “at least not at most stations. At most stations, only a few jackaroos have dogs of their own and work with them, and they don’t like to share. One more way Lang Downs is different, I suppose.”
“Really!” Chris said. “I would never have guessed from the way Neil agreed to teach me that it was any big deal at all. I’ll have to remember to thank him again. Did you get the tractor finished today?”
“We did,” Jesse said.
“That’s good. Hey, Seth, would you get me some water? I couldn’t carry it and my plate.”
“Sure,” Seth said, jumping up from the table.
“What are you doing after dinner?” Chris said as soon as Seth was out of earshot. “I’d like some time with you, without an audience.”
“We’re off the clock now,” Jesse said. “We can go out to the tractor shed after dinner. There shouldn’t be anyone else around.”
“Okay,” Chris said as Seth came back with a glass of water. He tried to keep his anticipation off his face. The last thing he needed was Seth asking why he was grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Thanks, Seth.”
“You’re welcome,” Seth said. “I have to go back over to Jason’s house after dinner. We have to do some more schoolwork since we spent the afternoon with Caine and Polly.”
“Makes me glad I got my HSC years ago,” Jesse said. “I couldn’t get out of school fast enough.”
“I don’t know,” Chris said. “It wasn’t all bad. I liked my history classes, and I loved the bio and chem stuff. I bet some of that could even be useful around here.”
“Did you ever think about going to uni and getting a degree in one of the sciences?” Jesse asked. “Vets make good money around here. Some of the larger stations even have one on site full-time.”
“This isn’t a large station?” Seth asked, his eyes growing wide.
“It’s pretty big,” Jesse said, “but not like the big cattle stations in Queensland or the Northern Territory. Some of those are thousands of clicks across.”
“Wow!” Seth said.
“Seth,” Jason called. “Come on. I don’t want to still be working on this at midnight.”
“See you later,” Seth said, waving at Chris and Jesse as he left.
“You ready?” Jesse asked, his smile widening.
Chris nodded. “I’ll meet you there in a couple of minutes. I need to take some more medicine first.”

Nine

 

“W
HAT
are you grinning at?”

Caine turned his attention to Macklin sitting across the table from him, back to the rest of the room as they ate dinner. “Chris and Jesse.”

“As in Chris and Jesse or Chris
and
Jesse?” “Oh, definitely Chris
and
Jesse,” Caine said, “although I suppose either of them by himself could also be cause for a smile. Chris spent the afternoon with Neil learning to herd sheep, and Jesse didn’t like it.”
“Neil’s not gay.”
“I know that,” Caine said, rolling his eyes at Macklin’s lack of intuitiveness. “It’s not about Neil’s interest. It’s about Jesse’s interest.”
“And why is this our business?” Macklin asked. “We can’t go interfering in the lives of the men without treading very carefully. I know you like Chris—I do too, so don’t get all defensive on me—but I understand him in a way you can’t. He’s scared, pup. He’s been alone, and he didn’t like it, because no one really does, no matter what they say. He’s here now, and next to what he had before, Lang Downs is the land of milk and honey, but he’s had good things and lost them before. It’s going to take more than a week or two for him to trust in this place, to trust in us and everyone else here. If he’d been here six months or a year, it might be different, but he hasn’t been. If he and Jesse start something and it goes wrong, Chris will run faster than we can blink, and he’ll never get another chance like the one he has here.”
“And if something goes right, wouldn’t it be another reason to stay?” Caine asked.
Macklin chuckled. “You’re determined to make everyone else as happy as you are, aren’t you?”
“There’s no harm in it,” Caine said, feeling defensive.
“This time there might be. Not if it works, maybe, but Chris needs time to heal and feel safe or his fears and insecurities will sabotage his chances. I know you want to help, pup, and it’s one of the many things that makes you the man you are”—Caine didn’t need the words to understand the subtext,
the man I love
—“but you have to trust me this time. I’ve been in Chris’s shoes. If I’d met you at his age, I’d have fucked things up because I wasn’t ready for you then. Hell, I nearly fucked things up at twice his age.”
“But you didn’t,” Caine said with a smile. He didn’t reach over and squeeze Macklin’s hand, not when they were in public. “So how do we help Chris and Jesse now?”
“We don’t,” Macklin said, “at least not the way you mean. We help Chris feel settled and help him gain some confidence in his place here and his value to us, and we help Jesse put down roots too, and maybe when they’re both a little more certain of where they are, they’ll feel comfortable thinking about who they’re with or want to be with.”
“Okay,” Caine said. “I can do that.” He leaned in closer. “I’m betting on them, though, and if I’m right, if they get it together and make it work the way I know they can, your ass is mine.”
“What does my arse have to do with the success or failure of their relationship?” Macklin asked.
“Nothing,” Caine said, “but it’s one hell of an incentive for me to help them find their way.”
“Are you suggesting I work against that?” Macklin asked.
“I should hope it would be an incentive to work for them,” Caine retorted.
“You don’t need an incentive to work for them. You need to let them find their own way,” Macklin repeated. “We’ll discuss my arse another time.”
Caine frowned but let it go. He’d keep wearing Macklin down a little at a time, and eventually he’d convince his lover to let go of his control in the bedroom.
“You want to explain what you were doing with Seth and Jason this afternoon?”
Caine accepted the change of topic and smiled. “Pretending to be a sheep. Polly likes me. She played along so Seth could learn.”