Chosen Child (24 page)

‘Oh no. I’m on my way, Ella. Speak soon, lovey.’

Now to let them know at home… but no one answered the
landline, and both Rick’s and her mother’s mobiles were switched off.

Halfway to the hospital at Truro her father’s heart stopped
again, and the rest of the time was spent with the paramedic pounding Steve’s
chest. And there was nothing she could do, nothing. She couldn’t even hold his
hand. Would he be in this state if she’d been better at CPR?

At the hospital he was trolleyed away and a nurse sent Ella
to reception to ‘book him in’. It didn’t take long; the place wasn’t busy, and
when she went back to the room where her father was they were still doing chest
compressions. Oh no. A horrible foreboding took hold of Ella; she couldn’t
control the shivers coursing through her body, and her hands were freezing.
Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes, and she had known all along, hadn’t
she… He wasn’t going to make it.

And moments later they stopped.

‘I’m sorry,’ said the doctor in charge, a woman who looked
no older than Ella. ‘It was a massive heart attack. We did all we could. You
can see him presently if you want. Come and have a cup of tea first.’

It was as if she’d been out in extreme cold, and her feet
and her lips and – right inside her – were all numb. Ella sat in the relatives’
room shivering and drinking horrible tea with too much sugar while the doctor
explained what had happened to her father’s heart.

‘Did he have any previous problems?’

Ella gripped her mug with shaking fingers. It was dreadful
to be so out of control. ‘He was on medication for high blood pressure, and he
had a scare of some kind last year but they changed his pills and he was fine
again…’

Until he came to stay with his daughter and rip up concrete
floors. This was her fault, she should never have allowed him to do something
so strenuous. Ella began to sob. She would never forget the mental picture of
her father this past hour – her ineffectual pounding on his poor chest, the
taste of those rubbery lips –

She clamped her hands over her mouth and raced for the
toilets, the doctor close behind. When the spasm was over Ella rinsed her face
and the doctor passed her a paper towel.

‘Is there anyone who could come and get you?’

‘My husband’s at home with... I’ll call them now. Will Dad –
will he be taken to an undertaker’s?’

‘Yes. You can see him here before he goes to the mortuary,
if you like, and your undertaker will collect him from there.’

Ella struggled to her feet. She had to call her mother, oh,
what could she say to Mum?

Mary answered the house phone, and Ella closed her eyes in
relief.

‘Oh, Ella. June’s in a terrible state. How is he?’

Ella managed to pass on the news with a lot more control
than if she’d been talking to her mother. Bless Mary. What a good thing she’d
been able to drop everything and run to help.

It was nine before she arrived back home, calmer after the
long taxi ride. June was huddled in the corner of the sofa, her eyes red and
blotchy. As soon as she saw Ella she burst into tears.

‘She didn’t want to go to the hospital,’ said Mary
helplessly. ‘She’s been sitting there shaking since you called to say he had –
gone.’

Ella rubbed her mother’s back. ‘Oh, Mum,’ she said, hearing
her voice break.

June wailed anew, rocking back and forth, and all Ella could
do was hold her mother and rock with her. She looked at Mary.

‘Soraya?’ And Rick, where was Rick in all this?

‘She was pretty upset. I asked Rick to take her away for a
bit,’ said Mary, and the words seared into Ella’s head.

‘Wha -’ She couldn’t speak; dear heavens no, where was
Soraya?

Mary moved across the sofa and murmured in Ella’s ear. ‘June
was hysterical. It wasn’t good for the child, seeing her grandmother like that.
I think Rick’s taking her to a little friend. You’ll know who.’

Ella grabbed her mobile and sat patting her mother with one
hand and pulling up Rick’s number with the other. And of course, he didn’t
answer. She fought to keep fear at bay. Surely Rick would do what he’d said,
take Soraya to – Amanda? Was she home yet? Lindsay was still away… Ella gripped
June’s hand. She couldn’t cope with this and her mother too.

‘Come on, Mum,’ she said firmly. ‘Let’s get you up to bed.
You need to sleep.’

The words seemed to calm June, and she allowed Ella and Mary
to take her upstairs. Ella gave her one of the sleeping pills she’d been
prescribed last winter when her nerves about the adoption got the better of
her. She and Mary exchanged a look of relief as June sank into the pillow, her
eyes closing. Ella pushed damp hair back from her hot face and hurried through
to Soraya’s room. No small girl lay sleeping there tonight, and the pink
suitcase was missing from the corner. So Rick had packed for Soraya –
where had he taken her?
Ella tried his mobile again, but it
was still switched off, and why that should be was hard to imagine. Twisting
her hands, she fought for control. This was the worst day, the worst time she
could remember, and all she wanted to do was scream, loud and long. Rick
wouldn’t do it again – would he? Disappear with Soraya? This time he even had
an excuse – Mary had asked him to go.

Ella tore downstairs, where the older woman was packing her
handbag. ‘What did Rick say before they left?’

Mary looked startled. ‘Just that he would take her
somewhere. He was very upset too. They left shortly afterwards. I’ll get off
home, Ella, as long as there’s still a vestige of light, but I’ll come back in
the morning. I’m sure Rick won’t be long – why don’t you text him, if he isn’t
answering his phone?’

Ella nodded. She should have thought of that. She went out
to the car with Mary, who gave her a long hug.

‘You get some sleep too, darling. Take one of your pills.
June will need you strong tomorrow.’

So would Soraya, thought Ella, waving briefly as the car
drove off. She was still in the hallway when the doorbell rang, and Owen stood
there, his face questioning.

‘Oh no – Ella, I’m so sorry,’ he said, when she explained
about her father. ‘I thought something was wrong when I saw you outside there.
I won’t bother you now, but if there’s anything I can do, give me a shout. Any
time.’

He touched her shoulder and left. Ella closed the door
behind him and leaned on it. Thank heavens he hadn’t wanted to stay for tea and
sympathy.

She collapsed on a kitchen chair, leaning her head on the table
and sobbing quietly. No one else in the house was awake to comfort her. And her
father was dead. Impossible to see further than tomorrow, when she’d have to
arrange undertakers and a funeral and look after Mum and – where were Rick and
Soraya?

Tuesday 29th – Wednesday 30th July

Amanda propped herself up on one elbow and grabbed her phone
from the bedside table. Thankfully, she’d put it on vibrate. She glanced at
Jaden, asleep in his cot on the other side of their room in Susie’s Glasgow
west end flat. At last, Rick was getting back to her – she’d tried his number
at least ten times yesterday.

‘Well, you took your time! What -’

‘He’s dead, Amanda.’

It was a shaky old man’s voice; she’d never heard him speak
like that before. He sounded both gutted and terrified, and fear stabbed into
her.

‘
What?
Who?’

‘Ella’s dad. I – I found him in the – the garden after he
collapsed and I called 999 but he died, Amanda, he died at the hospital.’

A sob followed his voice down the line and Amanda blinked.
Had Rick been so close to Ella’s dad? But what a shock for him, poor baby –
this was the why of yesterday’s non-communication.

‘Oh no, Rick, that must have been terrible. How old was he?’

‘Sixty-eight, I think. Amanda, it brought it all back, you know…
Gareth.’

Alarm bells shrilled in Amanda’s head. If Rick was in
earshot of anyone at all he shouldn’t be talking about Gareth – and neither
should she, with Susie on the other side of the wall.

‘Don’t talk about that, Rick. Will you be all right? Would
it help if I came back?’

‘My head’s buzzing. Please come, Amanda.’

He broke the connection and Amanda stared at her phone. He
wasn’t coping, she could tell. Twenty to seven. She might make the mid-morning
flight to Newquay, if there was a seat available. Thank heavens Jaden was young
enough to sit on her lap.

The thought of Rick hurting and upset and saying who knows
what to all and sundry gave Amanda no peace. She grabbed her clothes and went
through to the bathroom to dress. It was understandable that a second man dying
right in front of Rick would have shaken him – it was the kind of thing that
didn’t happen at all to most people, and now Rick had experienced it twice
within a couple of months. The memory of Gareth on the bedroom floor flashed
before Amanda’s eyes.

She was going to have to leave the warm security of Susie’s
flat. Arriving here on Sunday evening, seeing how pleased Suze was to welcome
her and Jaden back – it had felt like coming home. Now she would have to go
back to St Ives, where Gareth was hidden somewhere – unless he was in the sea –
and it was such a complicated, horrible situation. If only they could all come
to live in Glasgow.

But that wouldn’t work either. Amanda blinked unhappily.
Suze was Gareth’s mum and it would be a while before she welcomed the thought
that Amanda had found another partner. The lump in her throat almost choking
her, Amanda booted up the laptop and searched for a flight. But the first
available seat to Newquay wasn’t till the following day and she burst into
tears. Nothing was going right this summer.

Amanda pushed Jaden’s buggy into the arrivals hall at Newquay
Cornwall Airport, glancing to right and left. She’d texted her flight times to
Rick but he didn’t reply, and she hadn’t liked to call him. If he was with Ella
and her mum, and still upset, he might say something indiscreet. She kept
sending supportive messages until she realised someone might pick up his phone
and see them. Now she was here and Rick was nowhere to be seen. She would have
to risk a call.

‘Rick – we’re at Newquay Airport. Any chance of a lift
home?’

‘I’m not at home, Amanda.’

He sounded exhausted; Amanda had to press the phone to her
ear to hear him. Frustration and weariness made her snap. ‘Where the hell are
you, then?’

‘June was in a terrible state so I took Soraya away for a
bit and she’s playing up and I hardly slept. I can’t pick you up, Amanda. I’ll
be in touch.’

‘But -’ She was left talking to nothing. Amanda shoved the
phone into her bag and stood fighting for control. Jaden was drooping in his
buggy, she was four months pregnant with Rick’s child, and he expected her to
hitch-hike back to St Ives. She stormed towards the exit. It would have to be a
train.

Watching the scenery flash by, Jaden asleep on her lap,
Amanda regained her sense of proportion. Okay, it wasn’t fair that she should
have the permanently shorter straw, but that would change. She would go home
and provide the support he obviously needed – he could bring Soraya to her. She
texted this twice, but no answer came and she gave up. Rick would get in touch
when he was ready.

The flat smelled stale and there was no yoghurt in the
fridge, a major catastrophe as far as Jaden was concerned. His lower lip
trembled when Amanda offered him a biscuit instead, and she scooped him up and
hugged him.

‘Okay, sweetie pie, we’ll go and buy yoghurt, will we? Yummy
yoghurt in the shop for Jaden?’

Jaden clapped plump hands, and Amanda kissed him. This was
such a lovely stage, when he could understand and show her what he wanted. She glanced
at the calendar in the hallway, and stood still. How funny – she was sixteen
weeks pregnant, and Jaden was sixteen months old. Smiling at the coincidence,
Amanda hurried downstairs. The newsagent up the hill had a small supply of
yoghurt.

‘Did you hear about Ella Baxter’s father?’ The woman on the
till was eager to spread the gossip.

Amanda had a brief moment of panic – was she supposed to
have heard? No, she’d just got back, hadn’t she? ‘What happened?’

‘Dropped dead at the back door yesterday. They got help
straightaway, but it was too late. Poor Ella’s distraught, I hear.’

There was something unattractive about the way the woman was
so avid to pass on the little sensation.

Amanda put her purse away. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. Um, I
don’t want Jaden to hear… See you again.’

She passed Cedar Road on the way home. Now that she’d been
told the terrible news, she should go by and offer her condolences, shouldn’t
she? She turned the buggy and continued towards Rick’s house. Rick’s home, to
be strictly accurate.

The garden was deserted and Amanda strode up the path with
the buggy. She could offer to babysit, too. She wasn’t supposed to know that
Rick and Soraya were away, and this way she might find out where they were.

Ella was pale, and guilt washed through Amanda. Poor soul,
she had lost her father and soon she would lose her husband too. Stammering,
she made her condolences and asked if she could help with Soraya. There was a
long pause while Ella fumbled with a tissue, and Amanda felt more and more uncomfortable.
This was horrible.

‘Soraya’s away with her dad for – for a bit,’ said Ella at
last, wiping her eyes. ‘It’s better for her; my mother’s still here and of
course she’s terribly upset.’

‘I can imagine. Are they nearby? And – is there anything I can
do, Ella? Shopping or something? Shall I call you tomorrow morning before I go
to the supermarket?

Ella appeared to pull herself together. ‘Oh yes please,
Amanda. That would be so helpful. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’