City of Champions (47 page)

"I was protecting you, you shouldn't have had to lose everything for one error of judgment."

"That was my choice to make, Jenna. I'd rather never coach again, than let something I did hurt you. But that's not why I wanted you to come here."

"Then why, Dad?"

"Because I wanted to ask you why you'd risk your whole life to cover for my mistake, but you won't even let Wyatt have a chance to make up for his."

"That's not fair. That was…"

"What he did to you was wrong. But our lives aren't judged solely by our failings. They are also defined by what we do to atone for them.
If you have a chance at happiness, you have to take it. It may turn out badly, but that's why it's a chance and not a guarantee. You’ve got a shot at something that could make you happy in your own life. That's why I want you to consider forgiving him."

"It's not that simple."

"Of course it is. Love is the simplest thing we do in life. It's the living together and the day-to-day that's the hardest part."

"You're still a great coach in every way, Dad."

"That means you have to listen to me.
You know I love you, but I don’t want   you worrying about me. You look after so many people. But you also need to give the rest of the world some credit. I know better than anyone about putting your life on hold — of being scared. I don't want you hiding behind me, or anything. And that's what you're doing — hiding. Your mother would never have wanted that."

Jenna sat heavily on the edge of her bed. Her father walked to her bookshelf, and ran his hand across the frame of an old photograph. It was her mother holding a three-year-old Jenna in her arms. Her long wavy blonde hair was blowing in the breeze, as they smiled at each other. He cleared his throat, before turning back to face Jenna.

"I never wanted you to be afraid of living. Getting hurt? Getting knocked down? That's all a part of living, baby girl. Your mother told me what she was going to say to you that day that she…died. You've followed all her instructions, except for one thing."

"What's that, Dad?" Jenna couldn't look at him. She could evade questions and solve other's problems, but it was brutal to face him challenging
her
.

"She told you never to give up and to accept when something good comes your way. But you seem pretty happy with throwing in the towel. In fact, it looks like that's all you want to do."

"I don't want to fight a losing battle, Dad."

"You're guaranteed to lose if you never bother to try."

"I can't fail again. I feel so lost, Dad. I just…I need more time."

"Time for what? The surgery and treatment were a success. You have your life back. The question, baby girl, is what are you gonna do with it?" He leaned down to kiss her cheek, and then added, "I'm going to head over to Cheryl's place while you get settled in."

"You're leaving?"

"I think you'll be fine," he said, tapping her gently on the chin with his fist and smiling down at her. He left the room and the sight of his back tore at her heart.

Jenna felt her throat close around a swollen ball of her own sadness. The desolation of the last few months was suddenly accentuated by the terrible sensation of disappointing her father, and the fact she knew he was right.

Heaving a deep sigh, she just let the loneliness take her body. She fell back on the bed as silent sobs shook her shoulders until it felt like her teeth would rattle out of her mouth. Her hair spread around her face as she tried to catch her breath, even as more tears filled her eyes.

Pressing her hands to her overheated face, she stopped holding back and let the tears fall. They spread against her palms until she couldn't remember a world in which she wasn't crying. The sound of her own pain was so loud, she almost didn't hear the hesitant question that came to her from the door.

"Hi, Doc. Are you okay?"

Jenna sat up quickly, wondering if she was hallucinating. Yet, it wasn't an illusion. Wyatt was standing inside her old bedroom, and he looked amazing. His right arm was in a support sling and he had a tentative look on his beautiful face. She frantically wiped at her cheeks and tried to compose herself. For so many months she'd convinced herself letting him go was the correct, albeit torturously painful, choice to make. That wisdom was now replaced with her intense desire to rush to him.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Huh? Uh, um."

"You always did have a way with words, Doc."

"Wy-Wyatt, what are you doing here?"

He walked to her slowly. She could tell he was nervous. It was subtle, something only she could see. His eyes darted around the room, landing on a box of tissues on her desk. He handed it to her and she couldn't help but notice how large his tall, muscular frame looked in the small space.

"I've been working with your dad. I can't do too much since the surgery, but my rehab is coming along well and he's coaching me…"

"What did you say?"

"Um, which part?"

"Let's start with you being here. I can't believe Dad didn't tell me."

He cleared his throat and stepped closer to her. His scent was overpowering all her senses. It was as though every cell in her body had become a full cheering squad, shaking their pom-poms at the discovery he was close to her again.

"I drove down here after the press conference to have the surgery at Emory, so I could be near your dad. We didn't tell you because I needed to prove to him, and to myself, that I could somehow be deserving of you. Your dad has been coaching me and showing me how to have passion for the game."

He paused to let her respond, but Jenna could only stare at him. Wyatt swallowed and continued speaking.

"I
am
really enjoying the game now. It's amazing. We're also working on an after-school program with tutoring, co-ed teams, and medical help for underprivileged kids. We want to have it in Pittsburgh first, so your dad can transfer up there to be near you and keep working with me."

The shock of this statement helped Jenna find her voice again.

"Wyatt…setting up something like that has been one of my dreams for so long. How…"

"Your dad told me," Wyatt looked around nervously, pacing slightly in front of her. When Jenna couldn't find any words to say, he became even more uncomfortable. "Um, and I needed to make it up to my own family. They were really upset by what I did. I thought I was helping them, but all I did was hurt everyone."

Jenna swallowed hard, trying to make sense of all his rambling statements. She managed to formulate another question through her fog.

"How did I not hear about you doing all this, or anything else about you for months?"

"We all worked hard to keep it out of the press. Trey helped me keep it off the Internet, like he did with your pictures and articles."

"You guys did that? I thought you hated Trey."

"I'm still not a fan and I'll never believe he wasn't trying to take you from me, but I did enough on my own to lose you." Wyatt kneeled in front of her, bringing him to her eye level. He moved a hand toward her knee, but quickly snatched it away before touching her. Jenna's heart squeezed at the lost chance to feel him. "I decided to suck it up and do whatever I could to make it better. Did it? Make it better…at all?" he asked, searching her face with his desperate gaze.

"It did. I hated seeing those pictures. I mean, I hated being so exposed, but then I liked seeing you hold me. And it hurt all over again to think about what you hid from me. It was all such a fucking mess."

"I couldn't handle anyone seeing those pictures, Jenna. Those were our private moments. I messed up so bad. I know that. The fact I used anyone like that, especially you, is terrible…" Wyatt took a deep stabilizing breath before continuing, "You wanted me to say I regret what I did."

"Do you?"

"At first it was hard for me to regret it, because my actions were part of what brought us together. I will always be grateful for that. But what I did was wrong. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't. Even if it meant I couldn't have you, I'd accept that if it spared you all this pain." Wyatt sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously before continuing. "I never want you to be hurt, Jenna. And I did that to you. I should have told you when I had the chance. You opened up to me, but I was scared about you being sick. I went kind of nuts. And then I lost the right to support you when you needed me the most. I know I broke your heart. I hate so much that I did. If it helps, I've been really miserable."

"Yeah, it helps some," Jenna replied, with the slightest smile. "Wyatt, I've been miserable, too."

His face was full of worry and anguish. "Jenna, I’m so sorry. I've been trying to fill every moment of every day with anything I can do to fix what I did…fix myself. If I had a free second my mind would just go back to remembering your smile, your eyes, the way you make me believe I can take on the whole world and win. And then I think about how I lost you."

He looked down for a moment. When his eyes met hers again, they were red and slightly lost looking.

"I wish I'd paid better attention in school, because I don't know enough words to tell you how much I’ve missed you. And I've missed you so much. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I totally fucked it up. I want to be a better man for you, belleza. Will you please let me try?"

Jenna paused before answering. Wyatt looked frantic and began to open his mouth again to speak. She pressed two fingers against his lips, silencing him.

"I have to let you try. I've given life without you a shot and I can't do it. I'm terrible at it. I need you, Wyatt."

He grabbed her hand from his mouth, holding it in his before stammering out, "So you can forgive me?"

"You're the good thing that life is willing to give me, Wyatt. The least I can do is take a crack at forgiving you."

Wyatt kissed the palm of her hand, and she moved her fingers to cradle his cheek. The feel of his rough stubble against her palm was simultaneously thrilling and calming in varying degrees. She needed him closer, though.

"Come here," she whispered. He responded with a huge smile before sitting next to her on the bed. Jenna held his left hand in hers and looked up at his face. His smile faded, his face clouding again.

"What's wrong? Are you worried about committing to Pittsburgh like that… What if you don't get re-signed?"

"Well, Coach McGill really respects your dad, and he's liked what I've done to address the team's concerns. We'll figure it out. I'm not losing you again."

"Then why do you still look scared, Wyatt?"

"Because I hope you'll let me kiss you."

"Oh. Well, I'd like that," she whispered, and watched as he slowly leaned toward her. He stopped so close to her lips she could feel his hot breath against her eager skin.

His eyes locked with hers, as he said, "I love you, Jenna." Then he closed that final distance between them, pressing his lips on hers and sending a rush of pleasure through her body. All those painful months, weeks, days, and seconds apart disappeared, as Wyatt moved his hand to the back of her head, winding his fingers through her hair.

Jenna moved her hands to his face, desperate to feel more of him and convince herself he was really there with her again. Their kiss was tentative at first, until she couldn't resist the urge to press her mouth more passionately on his. Wyatt groaned in response and nibbled at her lips, and then slid his tongue between them. Laying back on her childhood bed, she pulled him down on top of her, only to stop quickly when she felt him wince against her mouth.

"Oh no, your shoulder! Are you okay?"

Wyatt chuckled and rolled onto his back. "I'm with you again, Doc. Everything is perfect. You can tap dance on my chest, if it makes you happy."

Warmth filled Jenna's whole body and a huge smile broke across her face. "I don't need to do that, but I would like to free you up a bit."

She gingerly removed his sling, before stretching her body along his and kissing him again. Sliding one leg between his, desire began to build inside of her at the pressure of his muscular thigh against her warm center. Jenna rubbed against him harder, as though she were a teenager again, complete with the accompanying creaking of her childhood bed.

Wyatt leaned away from her kiss. He stroked her hair from her face with his hand, taking the moment to stare at her silently. She saw desire in his eyes, but also deep concern.

"Wyatt, what's wrong? Why did you stop? Is it because of my surgery?"

"Are you okay? I mean, is it safe? I can't tell you how scared I've been while you went through all that. Your dad kept me updated, but not being able to be there for you…it killed me. I don't want to cause you any pain."

"I'm not made of glass. It's still me. Please, I
need
you to touch me." The agony of so much time apart weighed heavily inside of her. His warm caress was the only thing that seemed to provide her any relief.

She pulled off her shirt, and slid down her pants. Wyatt's warm gaze moved over her body slowly, fanning the heat inside of her until it was a full blaze. Jenna carefully removed his shirt, dragging her mouth across the hot, smooth skin of his chiseled chest. When she heard him pop the button of his jeans and slide the zipper down, her heart filled with happiness.