Close to Home (10 page)

Grady fished in his pocket and pulled out a white envelope. “This is a ticket with your name on it. The plane leaves in three hours for DFW. You have a choice. You can be on it and maybe, just maybe, find a way to move on with life. Or you can stay in this god forsaken place feeling sorry for yourself.”

He laid the envelope on the table next to an empty tequila bottle and a case of Mexican beer. Then he turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

Donovan crossed the room and picked up the envelope. Sure enough, there was a ticket with his name. Seat 14C. Non-stop to DFW.

With a sigh he threw the papers back onto the table. He spied the case of beer, practically heard the sirens’ song of complete sensory dissolution.

But then he remembered Maria and Isabel. He definitely did not need another drink yet.

Maybe he’d go find Sam. See if they needed someone in Turkey. He liked the base there. The memory of desert wind and sand flew through his mind, and he shook his head. He couldn’t go back.

He’d promised Ali, but he couldn’t do it. Yet another promise he’d walked out on. Of course, Ali had known it was a lie, had known he’d never be back even as he’d hugged him and absolved him of all blame.

Donovan knew better. He’d caused Anaj’s death, and he could never forget.

The ticket sitting on his table mocked him. Maybe he could go back to Caldale for just a day or two. Maybe he could head on to New York or LA afterwards.

No matter what, he owed Kacie Jo a huge apology.
 

He picked up the ticket at the same time a knock sounded on his door.

Grabbing his duffel bag, he opened the door and stopped when Grady walked back inside the room.

“I was going to leave, but I came here for a reason.”

Spidy Sense on full alert, Donovan wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Grady had to say. “Yeah, thanks. I don’t know what…”

He stopped when Grady kept talking. “Don’t thank me you sorry good for nothing excuse of a man. I know I told you you have a choice, but you don’t. You’re either going back to Caldale or I’m going to kick your ass and then sue you for every last penny you've ever made.”

“Jesus, Grady, I was on my way out the door. I know I was a royal prick to Kacie Jo. And I can’t make it up to her. There’s not a damn thing I can do to take it back, but I can try to apologize.”

Grady stood there looking at him as if weighing whether he deserved a life or death sentence and then he punched him in the face. “That’s for sleeping with my sister you SOB.”

Pain splintered his cheek. Usually, he’d fight back, but Donovan figured he pretty much had that one coming, but damn, that hurt.

Only when Donovan finally found his voice and planned on saying he totally understood his best friend’s anger, Grady hit him again.

“And that’s for leaving her pregnant.”

Chapter Seven

Kacie Jo unlocked her door and walked straight to the answering machine. Her life had become one series of patterns after another, just the way it’d been before that one night with Donovan.

Get up at five, go for a walk, work on lesson plans for next year. Go for a walk. Come home and watch movies that never failed to make her cry, sometimes alone, sometimes with Eliza. Go to bed and read the baby book Grady’d bought her last month in an effort to apologize for his reaction to her news.

The only break in the monotony came with mealtime when she decided what to eat and whether or not chocolate would hurt the tiny life growing inside her.

The machine blinked three times, and she punched play at the same time she thankfully shucked her shoes.

How she could be barely three months pregnant, barely showing anywhere on her body and still have swollen feet amazed her.

For a moment, she wished her mother were alive so she could ask her if that was normal. Sometimes she felt the strangest fears, fears with no name, no real source. Fears like those from childhood when she’d lain in bed and refused to open her eyes because she was afraid of the monsters under her bed or in her closet or outside the window.

Fears like those she felt that day they buried her mother when she’d made her father put a sweater in the casket because she didn’t want Momma to be cold.

For years she’d gone through life trying to forget her mother’s cancer and subsequent death. Now that she was pregnant, she found herself thinking about her own mortality all the time.

She wiped a trail of sweat away from her eyes and forced herself to stop that line of thinking as she listened to Eliza tell her she wouldn’t make it over for a
Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally
marathon.

Wonderful. No need to worry about entertaining. She could open a can of soup and call that supper.

God, she hated summer. She’d never been so hot in her life. Unbuttoning her shirt she threw it across the room where it landed on her couch. She might as well take advantage of living alone. It wasn’t like anyone was going to be looking at her almost naked body anytime in the near future.

She settled her hands over her barely rounded stomach and listened to the last message. What sounded like a bad cell connection played for the first few seconds and then her brother’s voice said what sounded like…

No…

He wouldn’t. She’d simply misunderstood.

She punched the play button again, skipped the first two messages and listened as the static sounded and then, sure enough, her brother’s voice saying he hoped she didn’t kill him before his voice was cut off.

Her stomach plummeted to her toes. Dammit all. There was only one reason she’d want to kill Grady these days. If he’d gone out and found Donovan after she’d specifically told him to butt out, dead didn’t begin to cover it.

She might look puny these days, but where her baby was concerned, she was deadly serious.

She’d made her decision, and nothing was changing her mind.

Donovan hadn’t promised her anything, and she wanted nothing from him. Nothing.

Suddenly, the heat from earlier was replaced with a stream of cold dread running down her back.

Donovan Nelson didn’t want or need a baby. She was raising this child alone, and if Donovan came back to Caldale, she’d explain.

But not if he came back because her hardheaded brother dragged him back.

Dammit.

She pulled her shirt back on as she punched in the numbers to her brother’s cell. Four rings later, she hung up on his voice mail.

Grabbing a suitcase from the closet, she started packing.

If Grady brought Donovan home with him, he’d find her gone. The stupid guy would want to do the honorable thing.

She’d weighed all the pros and cons a million times as she’d waited for him to come home. When he’d stayed away, she’d realized his absence was for the best.

But faced with the possibility of seeing him again, she realized her list wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. If she didn’t get the hell out of Dodge, she’d look at the face that had haunted her fantasies and then starred in one dreamy day, and she’d do anything he asked.

No. It couldn’t happen. She had to leave, and she had to leave now.

Donovan stared at the door to Kacie Jo’s house and wondered if he’d done the right thing telling Grady and Eliza to stay away.

The entire flight home, he’d known this confrontation would have to be between the two of them and no one else.

Hell, as far as he was concerned Kacie Jo should probably just kick his ass right back to Mexico.

On the flight over, he’d had a hard time keeping his cool. He kept replaying the way Kacie Jo had come on to him that night at Grady’s. The way she’d practically glowed as the sun rose behind her when she asked him to come to her house for coffee. The minute she’d said the words, he should’ve hit the road, and dammit, he’d known it. He’d known if he took her up on the offer, he’d be taking her up on a hell of a lot more.

She’d been innocent, agreed to be his friend. She didn’t know he’d planned on never coming back. She didn’t know what he saw in his head every time he closed his eyes. She didn’t know he felt like a man barely hanging on to sanity half the time.

She’d seen the man she’d always had a crush on. He’d looked in her eyes and found a certain sort of peace, and God, when he’d touched his lips to hers, he’d touched heaven.

And with that taste of heaven, they’d created a baby.

Damn if she was going to do this alone. And maybe, just maybe, she could erase the scenes and scents of death and destruction he couldn't escape on his own.

Taking a deep breath, Donovan reached out, and for the first time, knocked on her door. When he’d touched Kacie Jo, it had felt like coming home. When he’d slid inside her, everything seemed to make sense. When he’d held her, he’d found a sense of eternal rightness.

But knocking on her door felt out of place.

When she didn’t answer, he knocked again.

Eliza said she was here watching movies and eating spaghetti. Obviously talking to him was not on her agenda. Well, too damn bad.

He knocked again and leaned in close to the door, hoped she was listening. “Kacie Jo, open the door. We’ve got to talk about this. You can’t just avoid me forever.”

No answer.

Taking a deep breath he continued. “I’m not going anywhere. You can stay behind this door only so long. Caldale isn’t big enough for you to avoid me, and I know everything. Come on, open the door. Let’s not have this conversation in front of God and everybody.”

Still no answer.

In a way he couldn’t blame her, but dammit, they had to talk sometime.

“Look, Kacie Jo, I know I’ve been a jerk. I know I left without saying goodbye, but my head wasn’t screwed on straight. It is now.”

Hopefully, she was listening. Donovan closed his eyes and pictured her on the other side of the door. Pictured her golden brown hair sparkling in the setting sun, pictured her green eyes narrowed in anger or closed in passion.

As he pictured her there on the other side of the door, he knew his words were true. He couldn’t stay with Grady, and Ike would probably kill him. He’d noticed the only motel in town had closed up shop.

That left one place, at least until he could find another solution. The idea of stepping foot in his mother’s pink trailer left him nauseous.

But he wasn’t about to leave town now. Wasn’t about to leave Kacie Jo the way his father had checked out on his mother. Wasn’t about to let his baby grow up the way he had.

It had been a long time since he’d had a permanent address, but it looked like he did now. No matter how much Donovan hated this town and all it represented, Caldale was home again.

When she heard the knock, Kacie Jo dropped her suitcase. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know who stood on the other side of the door.

God, she wanted to see him. Wanted to listen to him tell her all the reasons he’d left and all the reasons she should let him in. But she couldn’t.

She rested her cheek against the warm wood and listened to his voice, listened to him say he wasn’t leaving. She hoped he didn’t camp out on her doorstep all night.

She brushed away a lone tear as Donovan listed reasons for her to open the door. “Come on, Kacie Jo. You know I’m more determined than you.”

She wondered how he’d come to that false conclusion.

“You can’t even imagine the number of nights I’ve lain awake waiting for a source to come out of a house or walk by. I once stayed awake forty-eight hours waiting to talk to the future king of B’en Ai.”

She could only imagine.

“I really don’t want to start asking questions about that night out here where the neighbors can hear, Kacie Jo. But if you leave me no choice…” He let his unspoken words linger in the air. How did he even know she was inside?

When the phone started ringing, she thought about answering it, thought about letting him know he was right. That, yes, she was standing just inside the locked door, easily reachable, totally inaccessible.

It would serve him right.

But then she remembered the way his long hair blew in the wind, his small diamond earring winking in the moonlight, his muscular arms flexed as he oh so slowly lowered himself until he was deep inside her, and she knew she couldn’t take the chance. Her house was secure by Caldale standards, but she didn’t figure much could stand between a determined Donovan and something or someone he wanted.

Behind her, the machine picked up, her greeting played, and her supposed best friend asked her to please answer the phone. Then Eliza said she was sorry she hadn’t told her the truth.

Yeah right.

A few seconds of silence passed and then Grady said if she didn’t pick up in a few seconds, he and Eliza were on their way over to make sure she was okay.

Let them both worry. She wasn’t moving.

Outside the door Donovan kicked a rock, or at least it sounded like a rock.
 

Maybe she should open the door. Maybe they should just talk all this out now, get it over with so he could head on out to wherever, and she could get on with learning how to be a single mom.