College Sex - Philosophy for Everyone: Philosophers With Benefits (22 page)

Lesson 1: Socrates and Alcibiades on Stalking, Seduction, and Giving Birth

During Socrates’ lifetime, classical Greek education or
paideia
dramati- cally differed from the contemporary university setting where students are expected to leave home and travel hundreds of miles to earn degrees in a variety of vocations. Rather, a class of self-professed intellectuals called the sophists traveled from city to city selling lessons concerning a variety of topics, most notably, political virtue and rhetoric, i.e., the art of public speaking. Like contemporary universities, these sophists charged heavy fees for their wares, but specialized in helping students recognize the precarious nature of traditional values by appealing to social relativism and relying on their ability to “argue on both sides” of a given issue.To be sure, many of the sophists also lectured on subjects like astronomy and mathematics but, ultimately, the ability to construct per- suasive but often dissembling arguments appealed to the wealthy aristo- cratic youth who desired to acquire the skills necessary to appease and manipulate the masses. If one wished to excel in such studies, one need only memorize and regurgitate the speeches of these infamous public lecturers. Furthermore, these lessons occurred not in classrooms or for- mal lecture halls, but were often carried out in everyday arenas like the steps of the city market, the
agora
, or even the couches of drinking parties in symposia. While perhaps most importantly for the present purposes,
paiderasta
, or sex between the older wiser intellectual and his students,

were not only conventionally accepted but lauded as a boon to the educational development of the young. In fact, in Plato’s
Symposium
the character Pausanias spends a considerable amount of time explaining how such carnal pursuits help young men develop into mature adults and how, at the very least, such “extracurricular activities” demonstrated a student’s noble and praiseworthy love of learning.

While markedly distancing himself from the practice of sophistry, the ancient philosopher Socrates hoped to inspire young men to the life of learning and inquiry by forcing them to examine their own lives and presuppositions. In this, he rarely conducted long didactic speeches but, oddly enough, would admit ignorance and ask his young companions to join him in a mutual search for wisdom and truth. Furthermore, while consistently disavowing knowledge of and the ability to teach moral vir- tue, Socrates provocatively admitted expertise in the ambiguous and messy subject of
eros
, or human desire and love, while confessing openly, e.g., in Plato’s
Symposium
(177e) and
Lysis
(204b–c), his penchant for pursuing handsome and distinguished young boys who often became devoted students and disciples.
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The most noteworthy of Socrates’ pursuits, of course, was his infa- mous seduction of the young Athenian Alcibiades. To understand Alcibiades’ initial encounter with Socrates, it might do well to imagine that you are the most popular kid on your university campus (however difficult this may be for people reading a philosophy book). Not only are you physically attractive, athletic, and wealthy, but you are also president of several student clubs and the most eligible individual, fending off doz- ens of suitors a week. All in all, you are fairly confident that you can have anything you want and are set to live a remarkable life upon graduation. Now envision that in your senior year an older man begins to follow you around, gawking at you for long periods of time, never saying a word, merely noting all the classes that you attend and all the people you choose to date. Then imagine that when you finally confront this assuredly creepy stalker, he says he’s a professor on campus and, unlike all your other lovers, he truly loves you, desiring only to assist you in obtaining the power over others you so desperately want. Remarkably, this is exactly how Socrates introduced himself to Alcibiades in Plato’s
Alcibiades I
(103a–106b).Yet instead of running to the authorities as any student on a contemporary campus would do, this ambitious youth charges into discussion with Socrates and by the end of the dialogue appears to dis- card his youthful conceit by coming to admit his ignorance. Furthermore, after only a few hours, Alcibiades confesses that Socrates has become the

object of his desire and thus the boy swears that “from this day onward it must be the case that I am your attendant, and you must have me always in attendance on you” (135d).

As most know, Alcibiades narrates the rest of the story in the
Symposium
, Plato’s most impressive feast of speeches eulogizing the nature of Love or
eros
.Years after their first meeting, Socrates has moved on and has developed a new interest for the award-winning poet Agathon, conspicuously sitting next to him, and finally critiquing, in his usual manner, the young man’s thoughts on love.
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Unfortunately for Socrates, his ex-student/lover crashes the party and pushes himself on the sober circle of men. After his own drinking and revelry, the now prominent soldier and politician laments that he no longer has the heart of the puz- zling philosopher and in order to warn Agathon against falling for his former teacher, Alcibiades makes a long, arduous speech describing what went wrong between them (215a–222a). First, waxing complimen- tary concerning Socrates’ ability to make his heart pound and to reduce him to tears, Alcibiades confesses that he fell so in love with the philoso- pher that he, thinking that Socrates had a serious affection for his “youth- ful bloom,” was ready to become teacher’s pet by offering it to him the first chance that they were alone.Yet, upon securing a “private moment” with Socrates, the philosopher’s behavior did not change. According to Alcibiades, Socrates continued to ask questions in the same manner as he always did, therein maintaining philosophic discourse. Frustrated, Alcibiades proposed that they go to the local gymnasium, an assured hot bed of sexual activity as both young and old trained in the nude, hoping that the sweaty exposed flesh and vigorous wrestling would encourage a consummation of their mutual love. Ashamed, Alcibiades admits to his drinking companions that even this had no effect on Socrates and, like before, the philosopher only wished to discuss and question the nature of virtue. Finally, resolved to have his conquest, Alcibiades confessed that in an attempt to loosen Socrates’ inhibitions he invited him to din- ner with the intent of getting him drunk. When even this proved futile, he took the direct route of simply stripping and cozying up under the philosopher’s cloak while he slept (219b).

Curious for an ancient Greek, Socrates stoically ignored the randy stu- dent. As Alcibiades describes, “When I had done this he showed such supe- riority and contempt, laughing at my youthful charms to scorn, and flouting the very thing on which I prided myself … that when I arose I had no more particular sense slept a night with Socrates than if it had been with my

father or my elder brother” (219c). Ultimately, Alcibiades interpreted Socrates’ chastity as a sign of his teacher’s deceptive and untrustworthy behavior. He surprisingly felt victimized by Socrates “lofty disdain.”

Regardless of his seeming disdain, Socrates confessed in several dia- logues that he desired Alcibiades, but in a far different sense than Alcibiades had hoped.
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Rather, as dialogues like the
Phaedrus
and the
Symposium
indicate, love between him and his disciples, along with all other forms of desire, potentially opens the doors to a higher form of intimacy, an intimacy fostered by intellectual conversation and a love not of one’s physical charms but of one’s soul. Similarly, in the
Charmides
, Socrates notably lusts after the boy he plans to converse with and, when the young boy enters the setting, Socrates’ surreptitious glimpse under Charmides’ cloak reveals, so to speak, all the boy’s school supplies. Due to this, Socrates confesses that the sight inflamed his body and frustrated his tongue (155d). Yet, after a moment’s pause, Socrates redirects this longing and proceeds gracefully to question the boy’s opinion of temper- ance. Ultimately, Socrates shows how, far from lacking any physical desire for his students, he drowns in it. Yet regardless of this, Socrates tempers his physical aching with the recognition of his responsibility, his duty to care not for his own carnal interests but his companion’s well- being and development.

Furthermore, in the
Symposium
, Socrates suggests that love or
eros
naturally arises in all settings where human beings pursue wisdom and, thus, shows how such desires may necessarily exist between students and teachers in contemporary classrooms. As Socrates’ own teacher on love, Diotima, demanded, “Love must needs be a friend of wisdom” (204a). Put in to the context of the university, Diotima’s speech on Love indi- cates that when a professor enters a classroom, she should not merely impart or distribute knowledge like a doctor passing out medicine to patients. Rather, Diotima uses overt sexual language to insist that the young, teeming and pregnant with vague ideas, should search out teach- ers who recognize their potential, since a coupling with these desired and resourceful individuals would allow them to “bring forth,” or birth, their long-felt conceptions (208e–212a). With both student and teacher, or as the
Theaetetus
explicitly suggests, the pregnant and the midwife, incept a partnership that transcends a mere physical union or a simple friendship because through their love and desire, they encounter and bear timeless wisdom they have brought forth traces of immortal beauty (150b–151a).

For Socrates, there was no such thing as a detached, dispassionate pedagogy. As Diotima argued, all learning arises from some sort of need, a recognition of lack, and thus we learn that the best teachers take risks, dismiss the pretense to knowledge, and in contrast expose themselves and flaunt their love of learning for the sake of inspiring the young to do the same. In other words, Socratic philosophy suggests that educators recognize the swarm of desires fluttering in the classroom and the volatil- ity of situations when human beings become vulnerable and come together for the sake of overcoming their lack and their ignorance. Most importantly, Socrates’ and Alcibiades’ relationship shows how student- teacher affairs, which begin with a mutual interest in the subject matter, can explode, as Alcibiades’ case neatly evidenced, into an obsessive phys- ical desire for the other.

In the
Phaedrus
, Socrates describes how love directed towards true beauty and wisdom is by nature passionate, copious, and overflowing. In fact, Socrates acknowledges that this “waterfall” of desire is capricious and can lead many lovers to recognize that “they are in love” but know not with what, i.e., lovers easily transfer their love for true beauty onto the physical beauty of the other.Think here of the enthusiasm or pleasure both students and teachers feel when the course material stimulates heated discussion and/or restless questioning outside the classroom. In these moments, both students and teachers have been seized by the nat- ural and unavoidable longing for knowledge. Problems arise, however, if and when this initial love for the course material overflows and trans- forms into physical desire. In this case, Socrates would contend that such a relationship arises through ignorance of what should truly be loved, the pursuit of wisdom, rather than mere sexual satisfaction.
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Committed to his own promiscuous passion for inquiry, Socrates remained keenly aware of the responsibility emerging from such desire, insisting all the while that lovers transfer their vulgar hankerings for physical union into a divinely inspired pursuit for the good. For Socrates, educators should avoid at all costs embracing the pleasure of the moment or the mere gratification of physical longing, as this is merely an unimaginative manifestation of love, by contrastingly committing themselves to aiding students in their search for wisdom, the highest expression of love between two people. In this, educators nurture the seed of transcendence in their students by acting not as cold, informa- tional conduits, but as inflamed role models or, as Socrates called him- self, “paradigms for the examined life,” inspiring students to become lifelong learners.

Lesson 2: Peter Abelard and Heloise on Fondling and Losing “Tenure”

Fast-forward now to the infancy of the university under the tutelage of the Catholic Church where students, regardless of religious intentions, were expected to attend classes in clerical habits. Here we meet an edu- cator not unlike Socrates, who disdained those teachers, or “masters,” who taught the young only by offering pedantic, long-winded speeches. Instead, Peter Abelard rose to fame by practicing dialectic, or the art of questioning and answering, in the classroom. In early twelfth-century France, Abelard, like Socrates before him, helped transform medieval education and notably founded the school which would later become the University of Paris during a period in which scholars, like the ancient sophists, wandered from city to city and from school to school until they amassed a loyal following of students. Despite becoming enemies with the philosopher Anselm of Loan and the cleric Bernard of Clairvaux, among others church clerics, Abelard’s fame grew and Paris began to bubble over with students eager to learn from the logician.Yet, regardless of his ability to educate and inflame the love of learning in his students, Abelard would ultimately fail to live up to the code of conduct first set by Socrates between students and educators.

With his reputation as the greatest master in France secure, Abelard’s mind began to wonder from logical to carnal pursuits. As he writes, “I began to think myself the only philosopher in the world, with nothing to fear from anyone, and so I yielded to the lusts of the flesh.”
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Thus, due to boredom, Abelard sought for a student who could, in several senses of the word, “stimulate” him. In this he looked to a girl whose fame, like his own, was renowned in France: a young woman named Heloise, niece of the prominent canon Fulbert. In the
Historia Calamitatum
, or
The History of My Misfortunes
, Abelard notes that while Heloise was not the prettiest of young things, she was the cleverest because her uncle saw to it that, unlike most women, she was well educated. Always measured and calcu- lating, Abelard convinced Fulbert that his niece needed his tutelage while suggesting that, due to his own financial burden, he could more easily assess Heloise’s progress by living in her home and acting as not only her instructor but her caretaker.