Complicated (13 page)

“I heard you had a rough night.” Sean enfolded Jonathan in a hug. “It’s going to get better,” he whispered.

“I hope.” Jonathan nodded to the cake. “Did you get some?”

“I did. It’s very good.”

“Martin makes them.” Jonathan disengaged from Sean and sat at the counter. He slid a wad of bills from his apron. “According to my figures, I owe you forty-two dollars and change from that table.” He counted out of the money and slid it along with the table tickets toward Martin. “We should be square.”

“Wait.” Sean placed his hand on Jonathan’s. “Why are you paying someone’s bill?”

“Michael showed up.” Jonathan kept his head down. “He’s the reason the window is still caked with smashed fries. They bolted before they paid. I’m responsible for open tickets.”

“I’m not holding you accountable for their stupidity,” Martin said. “That’s nuts. They are banned from the restaurant, though.”

“I’m sorry.” Jonathan didn’t look at Martin or Sean.

“What for?” Martin slid the money back to him. “You did your job. I’m lucky to have had you working here for the last year.”

“I’m proud of you,” Sean said. He gripped Jonathan’s shoulder. “Once again, you handled that with a decency I know I wouldn’t have had.” He dug his fork into his cake and took another bite. “This is really good. Can we have a couple of pieces to go?”

“Sure.” Martin grinned. He boxed up four slices of the cake. “I’ll send your paycheck when they’re ready, Jonathan.” He rounded the counter and snatched Jonathan up in a hug. “You go to Hollywood and make me proud. My boy on the big screen.”

His boy? Was he Jonathan’s dad? Sean finished his cake. “I’ll help you finish up here so we can go home. You look beat.”

“I am beat.” Jonathan offered a wobbly grin. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Sean leaned in close enough to whisper in Jonathan’s ear. “I can’t wait to get you home and show you how much I appreciate you.”

Chapter Eleven

Half an hour later, Sean and Jonathan were back in the limo. “What time do you have to meet with your uncle and the lawyers from the production company?”

“Ten-thirty.” Jonathan slumped beside Sean. “I’m seriously done. This sucks.”

“Then we’ll go back to your place and let you rest. I’m not upset. Hell, I could use the good night’s sleep.” Sean massaged Jonathan’s thigh.

The ride to Jonathan’s apartment didn’t take long and within a few minutes, they were outside the building. “My call is at noon. They can wait until I’m ready. I’m quite happy to be here with you. I like this new normal.”

“You’re nuts.” Jonathan chuckled. He picked up his apron. “Let’s go upstairs.” He led Sean out of the limo.

Sean tapped the roof of the car and waved as the driver left. With Jonathan at his side, Sean went upstairs. He’d had one good night’s rest with Jonathan beside him, and he looked forward to many more nights together.

Once they were in the apartment with the door locked, Sean tackled Jonathan on the couch. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the moment you went to work.” He peppered Jonathan’s face and neck with nibbles and kisses. “You’re addictive to me.”

“I am?” Jonathan slid his hands into Sean’s back pockets. “You feel like you’re happy to see me.”

“Yeah, honey, I am.” Sean rubbed his face on Jonathan’s cheeks. Stubble scraped against his skin, and he moaned. This was where he was supposed to be—in this moment with Jonathan.

“Sleep with me.” Jonathan squeezed Sean’s ass. “Stay with me, and make me feel normal.”

“You are normal, babe.” Sean crawled off him and stood. He held out his hand. “Lay with me.” He tugged Jonathan to his feet then to the bed. Sean stripped out of his clothes then stretched out on the mattress. When Jonathan crawled into bed, nude beside him, Sean gathered him in his arms. “Rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jonathan wriggled, arranging Sean’s dick between his ass cheeks. “This is good.”

“You bet it is.” Sean kissed Jonathan’s shoulder. “Sleep.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t get my brain to stop whirling.” Jonathan scooted closer to Sean. “You’ve got a lot of confidence in me. Are you sure I’m ready to be in a film?”

“You’re good, Jonathan. By the way, what would you like me to call you? I noticed Michael, the dickwad, called you Jon-Jon and Martin referred to you as Jonny. Anything you’d like me to call you?”

“This is new territory for me. I’ve never been in a relationship like this before.” He trailed his fingers over Sean’s forearm. “Call me by my name.”

“Good enough for me.” Sean rubbed his nose along the back of Jonathan’s neck. “Relax. You’re tense.”

“I’m worried.” Jonathan stopped moving. “When I was a kid, I loved having people tell me what to do. My father said I was too submissive for my own good. I didn’t cause trouble and did my best at whatever was asked of me.”

“You were a good kid. I admire that.” Sean held him a little tighter. He wasn’t sure where Jonathan was going with his story, but he had the feeling Jonathan needed someone to listen. He’d do whatever Jonathan wanted.

“My parents never thought I was good enough. My grades weren’t high enough, and I wasn’t on the football team. Do I really look like an athlete?”

“Kind of.” Sean breathed in the scent of Jonathan’s skin. “I can see you doing anything your heart desires—even football.”

“When I came out, my mother seemed okay with my decision. My dad? He flipped out. He told me I’d better save money or take out loans for college because his
gay
son wasn’t going on his dime. His son would sort out his issues and be normal. If I was normal, he’d help with my education.”

“That’s crazy.”

“By the time I graduated, my mother was onboard with my dad. She said I could be fixed. She sent me to a therapist. I talked about how my folks didn’t approve of me, and the shrink told me to chase girls. What a crock of shit? You know? Date the right girls and you’ll be cured.” Jonathan tensed. “Didn’t work.”

“I’m glad.” Sean let go of Jonathan and turned him around. “Really. They don’t know what kind of gem they had.”

“I decided when I got out of the house, I was done living for anyone else. I got my degree in theatre arts and subsequently ended up doing commercials around town. I’ve done some small plays, but I set my goals higher. I thought maybe my folks would see I was doing something with my life other than being gay, but I was wrong. When Mom saw my first commercial—it was for a local car dealership. I played buyer number two and walked off with a convertible. Anyway, she called me and said she didn’t see a buyer. She saw her gay son. That hurt.”

“I can imagine. My mother wanted to fix me, too. I’m glad they failed. We’re stronger together.” Sean kissed Jonathan on the lips. He lingered, tasting and enjoying his boyfriend. “I’ve fallen for you. I don’t say that lightly. My heart belongs to you, Jonathan.”

Tears slipped down the bridge of Jonathan’s nose. He trembled. “I’ve spent so much time bottling how I feel. One of these days, I’m going to explode.”

Now, Sean understood how broken a man could be and how much they needed each other. He rested his forehead against Jonathan’s. “You’ve never told anyone that—any of it—have you?”

“No one bothered to listen.” Jonathan crumpled in Sean’s embrace. “I’m tired of being controlled and tired of holding everything in, but I don’t know if I can be any other way.”

Sean cradled Jonathan against his chest. For a young man, he’d dealt with a lot of crap.

“Do you know how it feels to be beaten with a belt because your father thinks he can beat the gay out of you?” Jonathan whispered.

“No, I haven’t.” But he’d felt the wrath of his own demons. He’d begun using drugs to cover his own issues. When he was high, no one cared if he made a pass at a guy. When he was wasted, everyone wanted to hang out with him. He’d covered up the real man inside and made himself miserable in the process. He hadn’t wanted anyone to make fun of him because he hadn’t been sure back then who he was.

“I never want to feel like shit again,” Jonathan said.

“Michael being a dick brought all this to the surface, didn’t it?” Sean stroked Jonathan’s back. “I don’t know why he acted like that, but he’s not worth getting upset. I know, I know. That doesn’t help much now, but he’s a prick and you deserve better.”

“I finally feel like I have someone to listen to me—you. Someone who cares.” Jonathan wiped the tears from his face. “I don’t usually cry in front of anyone. I hate looking weak.”

“You look like you’ve had enough, but not weak.” Sean kissed him, tasting the salt of Jonathan’s tears on his tongue. “I care about you a lot. The sweet, stoic, strong side of you is endearing. I admire you.” He kissed him again. “Sleep, babe. We’re both worn out, and we’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

“Thank you,” Jonathan murmured.

“Always.” Sean closed his eyes. He slipped into dreamland in moments. Having Jonathan beside him made falling asleep easier. He preferred the closeness of someone sharing his bed, and Jonathan made being lazy and tangled up together so much fun.

* * * *

Sean didn’t know how much time had passed when he heard his ringtone blaring. At first, he’d thought the noise was in his dream. He’d envisioned himself in bed with Jonathan, but on the set. They were both naked and making love—while the cameras rolled. Of all the things he’d done, porn wasn’t one of them. He rubbed his face with both hands, forcing himself to wake up.

The device continued to ring and buzz. He must’ve left the vibrate function on. He slapped the nightstand and retrieved the phone. The icon for an incoming text blinked. He switched the screens to find the message.

Be at makeup at ten. Bring Jonathan.

Ah, Tony was always short and sweet with his messages. Sean glanced over at the clock. Seven-forty-five. He sighed. He reached over to Jonathan’s side of the bed and palmed the man’s ass. He liked being in a relationship where everything didn’t revolve around sex. They shared an emotional connection as well as physical. Was that the mark of a mature relationship? Or the indicator of a doomed affair? He snorted. Was he trying to find a way out of the best thing that had ever happened to him? Sure sounded like it.

“What time is it?” Jonathan flopped onto his back. “How long were we out?”

“It’s almost eight, and we’ve been asleep for about eight hours.” Sean stared at the tent in the sheet. He reached over and curled his fingers around Jonathan’s dick. Telltale tingles started in his body. He liked playing with his man.

“Feels good.” Jonathan smiled. “Keep going.”

“Yeah?” Sean sat up and moved the sheet down Jonathan’s chest. This is what he was talking about—a hot time before calls that morning. He brushed his cheek across Jonathan’s pec, turned on by the way Jonathan’s nipple beaded under his touch. He flicked his tongue across the tight point.

Jonathan groaned and balled the sheet in his fist. He kissed Sean’s shoulder. “More.”

Sean nipped his way down Jonathan’s chest to his belly. He shouldn’t have worried about the chemistry between them in bed. Hell. They were good in bed. He’d have to help Jonathan work out his issues, but he could do that. He pumped his hand on Jonathan’s sheet-covered cock while he continued kissing Jonathan’s belly.

When he turned his head, he caught a glimpse of Jonathan watching him. Electricity crackled between them. Sean moved the sheet. He needed to taste Jonathan’s hot dick.

“Please?”

Jonathan’s one-word question grabbed Sean’s attention. Sean smiled again then licked his lips and engulfed Jonathan’s prick in his mouth. He hummed and bobbed his head. God, he loved sucking dick. He fixed his gaze on Jonathan’s as he pleased his lover.

Jonathan reached forward and threaded his fingers through Sean’s hair. The tugs spurred Sean on and made him bolder. He eased his hand between Jonathan’s legs and massaged his balls.

“Whoa.” Jonathan bucked and ground his hips. He fucked Sean’s mouth, shoving his dick to the back of Sean’s throat.

Sean slid his middle finger along Jonathan’s crack. He wasn’t going to push Jonathan, but if they were supposed to have a chance at long-term, he wanted to have sex with Jonathan at some point.

Jonathan trembled. He curled his toes, and his leg muscles twitched. Tiny grunts and groans erupted from his throat. His brows knotted. “Sean.” He tipped his head back, and his thrusts turned feral. “Oh, my God.”

Pleased with himself, Sean crouched over Jonathan and continued toying with his lover’s balls while he parted Jonathan’s ass cheeks. He allowed Jonathan to set the pace and control what would happen.

“Sean.” Jonathan dug his feet into the mattress. He tensed and yanked his legs together. A shimmer of sweat glistened on his chest. “I’m gonna—” He panted and let go of Sean. Cum shot down Sean’s throat.

Jonathan gasped for breath.

“You’re so sexy when you come.” Sean crawled up beside Jonathan and stretched out. “Did you like that?”

“I’ve never had someone touch me there before.” Jonathan blushed from his hairline down to his chest. “I-I probably sound like a dork.”

“Not a bit.” Sean draped his arm across Jonathan’s belly. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve got to get moving. My call got moved up, and I’m supposed to bring you with me.”

“Guess we can’t waste time in bed, then, huh?” Jonathan curled his fingers under Sean’s chin. “Thanks for listening to me babble last night.”

“You’re not alone.”

“Shower with me then we can go.”

“Sure.” Sean left the bed, and his thoughts turned to other things besides Jonathan. He washed his lover and admired his sexy man, but he couldn’t shove the onslaught of thoughts from his head. He’d begged for a deep love to happen to him. He’d worked for this kind of relationship. Was it the newness that bothered him? Or was it his natural tendency to destroy the good things in his life coming back to kick him down? He hated himself for going through the motions already with Jonathan. He should’ve been happy.

After the shower, they dressed together and walked to the lot hand in hand.