Consolation (Consolation Duet #1) (23 page)

“Right now, I’m not thinking of anyone else.” My lips ghost against his.

He just barely touches his lips to mine. Liam’s head moves side to side as he brushes against my mouth. It’s a game of who’s stronger at this point. “I didn’t ask that.”

“I’m not sure how to answer that, Liam. I’m here with you right now. I’m in your arms. I want to be here—with you.”

The air is thick between us and he doesn’t relax. “He doesn’t have to be here. This is you and me.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” The honesty seeps through each syllable. “I’m scared.”

Liam lies back on the couch and pulls me against his chest. I lie in his arms pressed against him with our fingers intertwined. “I’m falling in love with you, Natalie.” His chest rumbles and I look up. “If I’m not already there. You’re not the only one who’s got something to lose. I don’t want you to say anything back to me. I just want you to know.” Liam’s fingers roll mine as he waits for me to react.

As afraid as I am about being hurt again, I know I’m not alone. “I’m falling for you too. I just don’t know if I can.”

His eyes tell me he understands. He pulls me back down and rubs his hand against my back. There’s a lot the two of us need to overcome. But right here and now, I’m safe. Liam’s strong arms hold me together and I try to think of the last time I felt this way.

Aaron and I were married so young, but we’d had a good marriage. He was gone a lot, and that part sucked, but it made our reunions that much sweeter. Aaron had a temper, but he was never abusive or mean. Hell, half the time I was the one throwing things across the room. He provided for me and I became content. But there were times I could see him distancing himself from me. When he would become belligerent when I would try to talk about what happened overseas. The infertility, PTSD, and his disdain of no longer being a SEAL ate at us. He would spend hours in the garage working on his car and then go to sleep or go out. I put blinders on and thought when I was pregnant with Aarabelle it would fix everything. But the only time Aaron was happy was when other people were around.

Then I wonder about Liam. The fact that I’d be entering a relationship knowing the life I’d live with him and the possible outcome. But I was built for this. I’m a SEAL wife. I know the life, the struggles, and the joys that it can bring. I know I’m able to handle deployments and all that goes with it. I just don’t know if I could withstand losing him. Loving Liam comes with a cost.

“What’s going through your mind? I can feel you tensing up.” Liam breaks the silence.

I lean on my hand that rests upon his chest. His blue eyes sparkle and I give a sad smile. “I’m thinking about all of it. The love, the loss, the affair. I think the fact that I don’t have answers is the hardest part.”

“Do you want to talk to her? Will that help?” Liam’s hand continues to run up and down my back.

“I don’t know. A part of me wants to forget it all and call her a liar. What does it even matter?”

Liam kisses the top of my head and lets out a deep sigh.

“Where do we go from here?” I ask.

Liam’s hands grip my shoulders and he pulls me on top of him. I’m lying on his chest and we’re face to face. “We decide. You decide because I’m here with you, but I need to know you’re not there with him.”

Pushing my hands up his chest, I rest against his shoulders. “I’m with you right now.”

He sits up so quickly I’m not sure how he manages it. He flips me so I’m on my back and he’s on top of me. My body warms from his touch and he glides his calloused fingers down my bare arm. “Liam . . .” I sigh his name.

“Tell me when you need me to stop,” his voice is low and smooth.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to tell him to stop. I hope he has more control than I do.

His fingers graze my pants where my shirt meets. I squirm in anticipation. Liam pauses and my eyes lock on his. I don’t speak or move, but I grant him the permission he seeks. He knows how to read me, my body, my tiny movements that not many would be able to pick up on. It’s a blessing and a curse.

The pads of his fingers float across my stomach and my breath stops. Lust flurries and builds as his fingertip moves higher. It skims my ribs and he traces the underside of my breast.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” his husky voice gravels in my ear.

“It’s not enough,” the words fall from my lips.

Liam groans and his tongue traces the shell of my ear. My eyes roll back in my head in pure pleasure as he pushes underneath my bra. When his finger grazes my nipple, I nearly buck off the couch.

“You’re so perfect,” he reassures me and rubs back and forth, my nipple pebbling beneath his adept touch.

Needing to touch him, I run my hands under his shirt, pushing it up. Liam uses one hand and rips it off. My fingers delicately press against his skin. I trace the tattoo on his ribs:
Dulce bellum inexpertis.
I outline the letters and he tenses. “What does that mean?” I ask as he kisses my neck.

He looks up and his blue eyes darken. “It means war is sweet for those who haven’t experienced it.”

My voice is barely audible, “I’m sorry. I know you’ve lost a lot.”

“I’ve gained too. War takes from us. It robs us of so much, but if we let it . . . it can save us. You being here in my arms right now is reminding me that sometimes the victory is worth the battle.”

Liam bows down as each breath passes between us. As much as he’s breathing life into me, I’m doing the same for him. We’ve both lost because of war. Liam’s lost countless friends as well as handling his own demons. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” I say as he brushes the hair out of my eyes.

“What do you feel?” his voice is rich and warm. It heats parts of my body that have been forgotten. “Describe it,” he demands.

I close my eyes as his hand floats down my body and back under my shirt. I allow the sensations to overtake my mind and Liam’s touch is what I give myself over to. “Your hands are strong, but when you touch me, it’s tender.” His thumb brushes my nipple and I sigh. “The scraping of your thumb against my skin.” He does it again.

“Does it feel good?” he asks gruffly.

“Yes,” I moan, as his hand cups my breast and he squeezes.

“Do you want me to keep touching you?” he asks.

Keeping my eyes closed, I stay in the moment. “Please,” my voice is low and dripping with need.

His weight shifts and he pulls my shirt over my head. I look at him and his eyes turn to liquid as he appraises me, setting my nerves at ease. Liam groans in approval. “Perfect. Every inch of you is perfection.” He pulls my straps down and waits. I tilt and unhook my bra, but leave it in place.

No other man has seen me like this besides Aaron. Aaron was my first and only. Liam seems to understand my hesitation and then he’s on top of me again. His mouth fuses to mine and he kisses me eagerly. My fingers pull his beanie off and tangle into his hair. I want him so much right now. Every cell feels like it’s on fire and I’ll soon become cinders. Burning with need, I get lost again. No thoughts of anything but him exist.

My hands grip his ass as he grinds down on me. I feel his hardness against my core and I begin to throb. His hands start to drift down my side as he pulls the bra from between us, but keeps me covered with his body.

“I’m going to suck on your breasts, Natalie. Do you want that?” he asks and I practically melt into the couch.

I whimper as he reaches behind my back and pulls me with him. He keeps me shielded with his chest. I’m straddling his legs, feeling the exceedingly large bulge between my legs.

He holds me against him and stares into my eyes, “Do you want my mouth on you, or do you want me to stop?” There’s no anger or hesitation. He wants me, it’s clear, but he’s not wanting to push me too far.

“Don’t stop,” I plead and his hands drift down my back ever so slowly. There’s no hurt in my heart right now. I feel alive and adored. My heart races and my core clenches.

Liam carefully extends me onto my back, keeping his eyes on me. His head drops and his tongue circles my nipple. He lavishes it and caresses me. “Oh, oh God.” My voice is husky and my breath comes in short bursts.

His mouth moves to the other breast and my hips move against him, creating the friction I’m desperate for. “Your skin tastes like heaven.” He sits back and looks at me.

I fight the urge to cover up, and the way his eyes appraise me keeps me still. The tip of my finger slides to the front of him and his head falls back. I rock against him again. It feels too good to stop. “Liam,” I sigh his name.

“Tell me to stop or I’m going to flip you over and not be able to control myself.”

“Kiss me,” I request and he acquiesces. Our mouths come together and my hand rests on his heart. I feel his life beneath my palm. He’s alive, real, and he’s good to me. Liam was there when Aara was sick, when I was sick, and any other time I’ve needed him. Liam’s mouth never touched Brittany. His hands press against my back and he holds me tightly against him. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here in his arms.

We break apart and we stay chest to chest. “I’ll never take you for granted. I’ll never give another woman a piece of me once you’re mine. I’ll only be yours.”

I look up with tears in my eyes. “I’m not ready, but I’m yours now. I want to give myself to you completely when it can be only about us.”

“What makes you think I was offering myself to you?” Liam smirks and the mood shifts from raging desire to playfulness.

“Oh?” I raise my brows in question. “I think if I wanted you, I could have you.”

Liam pulls me closer and I nuzzle into his neck. “Are you calling me an easy lay?”

I laugh and he kisses the side of my face. “Never. There’s nothing easy about you.”

“Well, except my banging hot body . . . I mean, that’s just easy on the eyes.”

“Arrogance is not sexy, darling,” I tease as his finger makes designs on my back.

“I think you’re very sexy,” Liam says as his hands make their way to the sides of my breasts.

“Oh?” I reply as my lips press against his neck.

“Should I show you with my mouth?” he inquires while his scruff grates across my shoulder. It prickles my skin and ignites the lust that had dropped to a low simmer.

My phone chimes, interrupting where we were going. I groan and reach over toward my purse. Liam adjusts himself and sits back, looking at my half naked body with a smug smile.

“Shit,” I say when I read the text. “I gotta go. Aarabelle is being super fussy and Rea has to run out.” I grab my bra and Liam snatches it from my hand. “I need that.”

“I’m thinking you wouldn’t want to leave the house like that.”

I don’t want to leave. God knows I want to stay here with him. It’s the only time I’m whole. There’s no pity in Liam’s eyes. When I see myself in him, I’m desired and beautiful. I lean down and kiss him and grab his t-shirt. I throw it over my head and smile.

“Keep the bra. I can wear your clothes.”

Liam stands before he takes a measured step, slowly drawing me in. “I’m going to take the coldest shower I can manage. I’ll somehow find a way to not think about you in my clothes. Walking around with my shirt clinging to your body and you smelling like my cologne.”

I step back and grab my purse. “You may need to take two showers.” I wink and open the front door. I turn back and glance at him over my shoulder. “You know, I might even sleep in it.” I turn back and hear him groan as I close the door behind me.

Funny, I didn’t think of the pain Aaron caused even once while I was in Liam’s arms.