Corporate Affair (26 page)

“Did you sleep well?” Jordan asked softly.

He smiled, took her hand in his, and kissed it. “What time is it? What are you doing here?”

Jordan kneeled down on the floor beside him. “If you remember, this is my office. Don’t worry; it’s only six o’clock. I brought us coffee and bagels from Jiffy Mart.”

“Hmmm. I can smell it.” He raised himself up on his elbow and kissed her. “You smell good too.”

Jordan stood up and handed him a coffee and a bagel with cream cheese.

“I feel a little moldy,” he said. “I’ll take a shower when I get a room at the Inn.” He reached out and touched Jordan’s face as she sat back down, leaning against him. “How are you?”

Jordan sighed. “I’m okay,” she said. “Sad, though.”

“Did you speak to Mrs. Palmer?”

“Oh, yes. I stopped in last night to see her. We sat at the kitchen table until about midnight, just talking. Sandy, her youngest daughter, was there with us. We talked about a lot of stuff. You learn things.”

“Like what?”

“Well,” said Jordan, “I found out that one of the reasons none of Mr. Palmer’s kids wanted the company was that they always felt they came second to it. They felt that all his energy went into the company, that they could never measure up somehow.”

“Really?”

“Sandy said so. Oh, she said that the feelings dissipated as they matured and they realized that their father did love them, but by that time they had all made their own lives and the sale of the company was a more realistic solution for all of them. I was frankly kind of shocked.”

“Well, it’s family dynamics. All families have them. Don’t you think?”

“I suppose,” said Jordan. She stood and went to the window. Aiden flung the blanket off and walked across the room to stand closely behind her. She spoke without turning to face him. “I just grew up in the shadow of the Palmer family, you know. They were wealthy, with that beautiful old house overlooking the whole town. Their kids had everything. They were older than I was, but I saw them around town a lot, driving their foreign cars, dressed in clothes I only saw in magazines. And now, look. Look who’s running the company. Me. It’s so odd, Aiden. It’s so peculiar.” She turned, looking up into his face. “Maybe that’s why I feel so responsible. Maybe that’s why I just don’t feel free, like my life is my own. I feel as though I almost infringed upon something that wasn’t mine.”

“That’s not the case,” said Aiden, putting his hands on her arms and drawing her closer. “You’ve earned everything you have. You deserve it. Palmer thought so. And his daughter said that none of his kids were interested in it. On the contrary, you are totally free. You run the company with Trade Winds now, and we reached a merger that allows us to do so. Happens all the time.” He enfolded her in his arms, but she gently pushed away and paced across the room. He followed her only with his eyes.

“Now I feel completely on my own,” she said. “I’m responsible for the company. I’m responsible for people’s lives. And I’m responsible for Grace most of all.” She turned to face him. “Aiden, sometimes I feel as though I stole Grace. It was the way I wanted it. I thought I was taking responsibility for a mistake I had made, that I wouldn’t burden anyone else, that I would just go on with my life and let everybody else go on with theirs. Now, when I see how much Grace means to me, I feel as though I stole her. I had no right not to tell him. Before she was born, I could not even imagine loving something as much as I love Grace. That’s what I stole from him, and now I don’t even have the chance to amend it. He’s dead, and I can’t fix that.”

Aiden’s heart sank at that moment. He gripped the edge of the big desk as he felt his future slipping away from him. Once again, he didn’t know how to read this girl. He was sure of his own emotions, but he wasn’t sure of hers.

“I’m going to the Inn now, and getting a room,” he said. “Please let me know when you find out the funeral arrangements.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Jordan asked, and Aiden heard something in her voice that he had not heard before. Was she asking for his help? Mentally, he shook it off. He had to be strong. She was so stubborn with herself, she would need to reach her own conclusions, make her own choices, or he could never be sure of her love.

Aiden held up his hand and smiled a little. “For the first time in my life, I’ve been honest with myself and I’m being honest with you now. I love you, Jordan. I love Grace. Why wouldn’t I? She’s part of you. I don’t think you know who you love. I don’t think you know what you want. You have to figure that out for yourself. That first night you came to the Inn, I realized what real love was. Did you feel the same? Or was it sex? Was it sex for comfort or to fill some biological need? Maybe everything happened too fast. Listen to me. I thought the girl was supposed to ask these questions, but I found myself in love with you. I love you so much; I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I know it’s only been a week, but the way I see things has changed that fast.

“If you decide you don’t want to be with me, if you decide you don’t want to give us a chance, then I accept that. Even if it means walking away from here and never coming back. You can handle ChatDotCom with one hand tied behind your back. I’m not worried about that, but you have a lot of issues to resolve. Maybe you should think about taking care of them.

“Find Grace’s family from her father’s side. Find them and tell them about her. She’s the only child of their dead son. Think about that. They need to know her. She needs to know them. Come outside of yourself, Jordan. You’re shielding yourself with what you’re calling your ‘responsibilities.’ You’re hiding. Take real responsibility and include the people who love you in your life. I know you run Chat and its employees, and you take care of your brother’s tuition and your parents’ mortgage and everything under the sun for Grace, but you use that power of being able to do those things. You manipulate your situation and separate yourself from all those people. You don’t work
with
anybody. You hold the reins; you control things. That’s a safe place to be. Telling people what to do isn’t hard. Cooperating is hard. Sharing is hard. It takes love, Jordan. I love you so much that if somebody told me I had to face the rest of my life alone, without you or any other woman ever, I could do that. I could live on this past week. I let you in, Jordan. Now I’m wondering if that was such a wise thing to do. That’s what’s happened to me this past week. What happened to you?”

He crossed the room and cupped her face in his hand. He kissed her lightly on the forehead, and set his jaw determinedly. “You let me know about the funeral arrangements. I’ll be at the Inn. I always have my phone on me. You take your time. Think about what I said. I have to have all of you, Jordan, because you have all of me. That’s only fair. Sharing a life means just that.”

She was silent as he pulled open the door. Then, he paused and turned. “One more thing,” he said. “My father told me something once, and it’s stuck with me. He said, ‘Do you think your mother and I got where we got by standing around gazing into each other’s eyes? Hell no! We got where we got by looking together in the same direction, putting on the same harness, and plowing forward. That’s love.’ I think he paraphrased some poet, but he was right. That’s what I want, Jordan. I’ll see you later.”

Without looking back, he walked out and shut the door quietly behind him.

Jordan stood, her body leaden. When she felt as though she could move, she turned away from the door and walked slowly back to the window. For a while she just stood, watching the river jump and splash and swirl into frothy little eddies. She wasn’t sure what had just happened. Had their relationship taken a step back, or a step forward? Her mind roiled in chaos.

“I have to sort things out,” she said aloud. “There are priorities.” She looked down at her desk and tried to organize her spinning thoughts. Almost without knowing what she was doing, she picked up her phone and called Ashley.

“Hello?” said a groggy voice.

It was only then that Jordan realized that it was barely seven o’clock in the morning. “Oh, Ashley! I’m so sorry to wake you. I didn’t think about what time it was.”

“Jordan, is everything all right? Where are you?”

“I’m at my office. Look, I know it’s Sunday morning, but if you can, could you come down and help me with a few things? Would Kyle mind?”

“Kyle? Ha!” snorted Ashley. “He’s at some fireman’s muster or something down at the firehouse. I think they’re washing the trucks. He’s oblivious to me today. I’ll be right down.”

“Thanks, Ashley.”

Jordan sighed deeply. She would work this out. She would have to.

Jordan marveled when, twenty minutes later, Ashley walked into her office, neatly dressed in jeans, a white ruffled tunic, and bright red flats. Her raven hair was down, brushing her shoulders in a long pageboy. Not one hair was out of place. Ashley’s makeup was as it was every day, far too much for Jordan’s style, but impeccably applied. It was early on a Sunday morning and Ashley was camera ready.

Jordan shook her head.

“What’s the matter?” asked Ashley.

“You look like you just stepped out of the pages of
Style Magazine
!”

Ashley laughed. “Well, I didn’t even stop to get a coffee. I was hoping there was some here.”

Jordan rolled her eyes and handed Ashley her own cup.

“I don’t want to take yours,” protested Ashley.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Jordan sarcastically. “I’ll drink Aiden’s.”

“He was here?”

“He just left. After giving me a lecture.”

Ashley sat down on the sofa. She took a sip of coffee, staring thoughtfully out the window. “I guess I just don’t understand you two. Jordan, do you love him? Do you want to pursue the relationship? If you don’t, then end it right now.”

Jordan let out an audible groan. “Oh, but I do love him. I do. And how can I even say that? Maybe I only love the sex. Maybe I just caved in a weak moment. We haven’t even dated, really. And how am I going to juggle everything? One minute, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and the next minute, I’m seeing that it’s just impossible.”

“As long as you two love each other, anything is possible. That’s the truth.”

“Ashley, I told him about Grace. He thought Mr. Palmer was Grace’s father, and that made me so mad I nearly swore I’d never speak to him again, but I had to tell him the truth.”

“Well, that’s a step in the right direction,” said Ashley. “It had to come out sooner or later. It’s nothing to keep hidden, for Grace’s sake if nobody else’s. How did he take it?”

“Like he takes everything. He’s so logical and laid back. I feel hysterical in comparison most of the time.”

Ashley gave a little laugh. “You have to learn to relax, Jordan. You’re wound so tight, some days I expect to see you unravel right before my eyes.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Not to most people, but I know you pretty well. Where’s Aiden now?”

“He went to get a room at the Inn. He’s staying through to the funeral. After the funeral, he wants to meet the employees and make sure everybody knows him and knows that things are staying pretty much as they are.”

“What have you heard about funeral arrangements?”

Jordan sat down next to her friend. “I expect the wake will be tomorrow night and the funeral will be Tuesday. I’ll close the company except for essential personnel. Everybody should at least get a chance to pay their respects. Ashley, there’s something Aiden said…” Her voice trailed off.

“What?”

Jordan sighed. “Aiden said that I should find Mark’s parents and tell them about Grace.”

Her friend paused before she commented. “I can’t say that I disagree with that, Jordan. Grace is your daughter, but she doesn’t belong to you. Grace is a person in her own right, and she has the right to know who her father was and the right to know his people.”

“Why is everything so complicated!” Jordan stood up quickly and returned, agitated, back to the window.

“Life is complicated,” snorted Ashley.

“It isn’t for you,” retorted Jordan. “You’ve got Kyle. You’ve got your job. You’ve got a pretty little house. Everything seems to go like clockwork for you. You never mess up.”

Jordan was looking out onto the river as she spoke, her back to Ashley. When she made no reply to Jordan’s comment, Jordan turned to look at her.