Courage: Overcoming Fear and Igniting Self-Confidence (12 page)

Two years earlier, Cynthia had been invited by a friend to the Rural African Women’s Conference. Although she didn’t know why, and although it didn’t make sense in her head, her heart told her she had to go. She rearranged her schedule and made the trip, emerging from the event inspired to support African women and their children in their effort to move out of poverty through education. But she had no idea how to do it. Now, two years later, she was taking action, and her birthday party fund-raiser brought in eighty thousand dollars.

Cynthia felt excited about living her purpose, but she still had to run a full-time business. There was a part of her that said, “I would love to do this full-time,” but that voice was met immediately with a quick retort: “How could you do that? You’re single. You need to make money.” She couldn’t see how to turn her calling into her career, so she stuck with her business. She would try from time to time to muster up the courage to take the leap, but something would always intervene, like an unexpected expense or the economy taking a steep downturn. Even when she got re-inspired and momentarily excited by working on her foundation, Cynthia stayed in the comfort zone of her successful business, thinking to herself, “Who is going to pay me money to teach others to give? Who is going to support causes in this economy?”

Cynthia traveled to Africa again, to see the results of the work her birthday donations had funded, and she came home fully connected to her vision—completely inspired, excited, joyful, and strong in the knowledge that her work in Africa is her calling. Every child she met in Africa helped her to see that she needed to be the brightest and highest expression of herself; she needed to step more fully into her vision. If she didn’t step up and step in, who would?

When she returned from Africa, it was time for her to sell her next round of corporate coaching programs. She knew that, but she experienced tremendous resistance. She would call me and tell me how badly she didn’t want to do it but that another side of her was saying, “You have to!” As she sat down at her desk each day to run her business, she felt stuck, bored, uninspired, and frustrated. But she didn’t believe she had any alternative. “I can’t just quit my business,” she told herself. “How would it work?”

A quiet, small voice inside of her nudged her, saying, “Maybe this is the time. Why don’t you do your foundation full-time?” But Cynthia’s fear of how she would survive stifled and silenced the voice over and over again. One night, Cynthia forced herself to stay up and write the marketing copy for her new program—a task that she’d been avoiding. Then, after hours of work, and completing copy that she felt good about, her computer crashed and she lost every bit of text that she had just written. After she had knuckled her way through this task, forcing herself to do it, she could hardly believe that she was looking at a blank computer screen. She ended up going to sleep completely frustrated.

Cynthia awoke at three in the morning. She could feel anxiety coursing through her body. She heard that quiet voice again: “Cynthia, why don’t you just do your foundation full-time?” This time, exhausted, Cynthia didn’t fight back. She didn’t argue. She gave it the space to just be there. Later that morning, when she went to work out, the voice returned, and again, she let it be there. The more she listened to the voice, the more she started feeling that this was a possibility. Something started changing and shifting inside of her. She could feel her vision pulling her, and she couldn’t fight it anymore. She couldn’t say no.

When Cynthia made the decision to make her foundation her full-time job, in the holy moment when she realized she just couldn’t put it off any longer, she moved into action. She called her assistant, her marketing partner, and her business partner and told them to shut the business down. Shocked by the decisiveness of her courage and the clarity of her confidence when she wasn’t listening to the Voice of Fear, she finally felt peace—total peace.

Cynthia made the commitment to call three people a day to engage them in support of her next fund-raising campaign. After her second call, she unexpectedly found a sponsor for her entire campaign. At that moment, Cynthia knew she was provided for. She knew that God would provide for all of her needs if she had the courage to be a full Yes. In her full, courageous Yes, she stepped into a place of joyous creation. No longer did she have to struggle, agonize, try, or make it work. In her full Yes, Cynthia attracted the people and the resources she needed for her divine vision. And the process hasn’t stopped.

Because Cynthia stood firmly in the shoes of her brave, courageous warrior of love—because of her love for African children, for humanity, and for the universe itself—and because she remained committed to her divine vision, Cynthia’s foundation has funded twenty-two primary schools, one secondary classroom, and two dormitories; 5,169 people have clean water, 7,169 have access to health care, 225 adults have received income training, and 66 women have earned scholarships. The world is truly a different place. And on top of it all, Cynthia met the love of her life.

If Margie or Cynthia had chosen to listen to the Voice of Fear, they both would most likely have lived nice lives, but they would be missing the passion and the purpose that fuel not only them and those around them, but all of the people they are helping around the world. Our inspired vision needs to be inspiring enough to trump the mind, the ego, and the fears that naturally pop up. We must distinguish those voices as voices of the past so that we continue to believe in our vision and not our limitations.

I have seen a great many people over the years get clear on their vision, start to work toward it for a few months, and then get distracted or dissatisfied when things aren’t going exactly as they think they should. So they move on. They do something else. They start down the path of a new vision. The fact that a vision is divine doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. It takes ups and downs, twists and turns, but it’s a beautiful ride if we stay in the seat as a divine messenger and allow ourselves to be used for a purpose. And it’s essential that we allow ourselves to open up over and over again to where the universe wants to guide us. It’s not our job to assess the merit of our vision or judge its importance. It is our job to receive the vision and act upon it.

I’ve written several times about the day I got struck with my divine vision. I was sitting in front of the Aventura Mall in North Miami Beach, where I owned a clothing store named Mile High. After coming out of my fourth drug-treatment center, I was confused and bored with life. I couldn’t imagine how I was going to live without drugs or something to make myself feel better. But on this day, all of a sudden at a stop light, I got emotionally choked up when I realized that I could make a difference for other people who had gone through the same kinds of issues that I had gone through. It wasn’t just a little thought. It was like a bolt of lightning, a blast of fireworks going off inside me. “Wow! I could write a book! I have something to share!”

Suddenly the whole world that I thought I was glued to—fashion, living in Florida, going to twelve-step meetings every day—melted away, and a spark lit inside me that has rarely left me since. I started looking into schools and what I wanted to study. I was clear after taking many standard psychology classes that I wanted to go down a more inspiring path of learning. There was a different kind of learning happening, a field that merged psychology and consciousness studies, and the only place I could get a degree in it was John F. Kennedy University, in Orinda, California. I told my business partner that I wanted to sell the store. I sold all of my belongings, moved to northern California, and took every consciousness course, transpersonal psychology course, and writing course the university offered. I wrote and wrote. I learned new tools and techniques. And my vision kept getting bigger and more beautiful.

I almost got detoured when I married and got pregnant with my son, Beau, but a year later I got back on track and wrote my first bestselling book,
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers:
Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams.
Everything lined up. My sister, who was close to Deepak Chopra, introduced my work to him, and I quickly became a part of the Chopra Center team that was doing the emotional wholeness work that I seemed to be naturally gifted to do. After starting a speaking tour, I got invited to do three Oprah Winfrey shows, which skyrocketed my book to number one on the
New York Times
bestseller list.

When my second divine vision arrived, which was to write a book called
Spiritual Divorce,
I wanted to hide my head under the blanket, because what I really wanted was to write a book called “How to Kill My Husband and Get Away with It.” (And just to let you know, writing
Spiritual Divorce
got me over the other title, and I have been extremely blessed, which no doubt the universe had a lot to do with, to have the best ex-husband and father of my child that one could wish for.) Since I was so committed to everyone having the opportunity to understand the underbelly of humanity—which is what took me to the whole next level of my own mental health and emotional freedom—I started the Ford Institute for Transformational Training in order to teach coaches, executives, and businesspeople all over the world how to transform their own lives and support others in transforming theirs. I’ve written six more books since then, and I produced a documentary called
The Shadow Effect.

Each time I stand up and give a lecture in front of people who have no idea how our emotional pain affects our entire lives and blinds us to our divine vision, the light sparkles in my eyes, my smile extends past my body, my heart opens wider than I ever thought it could, and I thank God that I get to be used for a greater cause. Even though many times it hasn’t been easy and I haven’t wanted to do it, even though I’ve wanted someone else to have my vision because mine never stops making demands on me, the divinely inspired voice from above comes to me and whispers in my ear, “It’s time to work on this” or “It’s time to write about this” or “It’s time to birth a new conversation in the world.” And I take it one step at a time. I often don’t know what’s coming. But I’m very clear about this: I’m much more committed to God’s will than to my will. When my audiences ask, “How do you do this?” I say, “I’m a great order taker. I listen well. I do what they say.” Who are “they”? I don’t really know. But they’ve been my guides and my source, turning me from weak, scared, and cowardly to bold, courageous, and confident.

Just like me, you have a vision right now. It may not be one that you recognize yet. It may live deep within you, stirring quietly below the surface. But it will see the light of day. Because, just like the sun obscured by clouds or by the fall of night, it is always there, waiting for you to bask in its golden light. Your vision is a precious gift from the Divine.

If you are not yet in the presence of your vision, start with what you love. Anything that inspires you, excites you, and motivates you in your life is sparked by the Divine. There is nothing you truly desire that you can’t do. You can use your vision to become courageous, confident, and fearless, each day praying to see how you can be used by these qualities. See yourself each morning and night as being able to forge ahead powerfully, being able to stand boldly. See that you are a vision of your own strength, your own power, your own courage, and your own confidence. Don’t try to make it come, because it’s already there.

Once you recognize the vision, you must allow yourself to clearly distinguish what it feels like and allow yourself to feel it fully. If the vision makes you feel proud, you have to be able to feel that pride all the way down in your cells. If your vision makes you come alive, you have to allow that feeling of aliveness to permeate your whole life.

You must see your vision, believe your vision, feel your vision, and express it passionately out in the world. When you are in the presence of your vision, your inner world shifts. And it is only when your inner world shifts that your outer world can line up and guide you. The next right actions will be revealed to you, and the universe will move heaven and earth to support you in your vision.

To harness the power of an inspired and divine vision, you must keep it in your mind’s eye each day. You must get up in the morning and ask, “What is in my highest and best interest that will allow me to serve myself and the world?” At night before you go to sleep, affirm your vision again, like a prayer to the universe. Allow it to grow with the help of your radiant focus and attention, because as it is imprinted on your conscious mind, it will continue to guide you and bring forth all those who are designed to support you in your vision. That’s why people who step fully into their vision are always shocked: they see it, they feel it, they know it can exist
even when they don’t know how
. This is where trust and faith are your partners in delivering your vision to the world.

You are a courageous warrior of love, with unique gifts to offer the world. The Divine gave these gifts to you, and now is the time for you to deliver them. There is nobody in the world like you, and you hold a source of power that nobody else in the world has. The light that will come forth from within you will help you heal yourself and all those who come into your presence. The world needs you. And your vision offers a path for spreading that courageous light far and wide.

THE INSPIRED VISION PROCESS

Find one of your favorite places to write, and take a few moments to breathe and relax. Once you feel in touch with yourself, pick up your pen and embark on this exciting and inspiring journaling exercise.

1.
Your divine purpose:
Ask the Divine to show you how it wants to use you for the good of all. Even if you think you already know what this is, allow yourself to see and know your purpose through the eyes of your warrior.

2.
Calling on the power of your imagination:
Unleash your imagination and creativity. Allow yourself to see a vision of your future in which you’re passionately living your purpose and exuding profound courage and confidence.