Craving a Hero: St. John Sibling Series, book 3 (16 page)

She took a step toward the kitchen, but stopped. Whether she told him now or later, it wasn't going to change the situation or make it any easier.

She faced her father. "Dad, I have something to tell you."

He glanced up from the TV screen. "Yeah?"

"Something important. Something you're not going to like."

This time when he looked up his gaze stayed on her.

She drew a deep breath. "Dad, I'm pregnant."

There was a beat before he responded.
"You're what?"

"Pregnant. I'm having a baby."

"What about the DNR?" he demanded, sitting forward in his chair. "How're you going to work if you're pregnant?"

She blanched, confused and hurt.

"It's the busiest time of the year. Bow hunting opens in a few days. Rifle season is just a couple months away," he went on, his voice rising, his face reddening. "You'll be leaving them short-handed."

"I tell you I'm having a baby and all you're worried about is hunting season?" she returned, her hurt turning into an anger of her own.

The veins in his neck pulsed. "Fall is the busy season!"

"I guess I'll have to transfer to forestry or some other job," she said, not backing down.

"You didn't even think through how this was going to affect your career before you got yourself pregnant, did you?"

"I didn't plan to get pregnant, Dad."

He was on his feet now, leaning over his cane at her, shouting at her about all of her mistakes. She shouted back.

"I'm a grown woman, Dad. I'll deal with my own mistakes."

"But what about your career as a CO?"

"Maybe I don't want to be a CO
like
you
."

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He just stood there, propped up on his cane, his face red, the veins standing out in his neck. He went down like a sack of potatoes.

"Dad!" she screamed, dropping to her knees beside him.

#

That evening, her father lay in a hospital bed, her mother and sister each holding a hand, as Kelly slipped out of the Intensive Care Unit, seeking a place to be alone. The nearest waiting room being occupied by family of others in the Unit, she continued past and ducked into an alcove where she pulled her cell from its case on her belt.

Why, she didn't know. She had no one to call…except Dane, and now was not the time to talk to him. But she couldn't stop thinking about how badly she wanted to hear his voice.

She stared at the phone for a long time before turning it on. A tone announced missed messages. She tapped the text icon and several popped up from Dane. She almost smiled. She could always count on him to be there for her…even when he didn't know she needed him. She flicked open the first message.

Morning, Bright Eyes. Wish u were here.

She'd seen that one this morning at home and had sent him back a similar greeting. Of course, with the time difference, her greeting had been more of a
good afternoon.
His second text came when she was driving her mom to the Marquette hospital where her dad had been taken because they had a special stroke unit. She remembered hearing the ping but hadn't checked the cell, her entire focus on the road and willing her father to live.

Rain. Midnight break.Soggy subs and water-logged coffee. Be glad ur not here,
she read.

Third message.

Drying off 4 next take. Missing u.

The time stamp told her he'd messaged about the time they were being told Dad was in a coma and it was a matter of time before they knew if he would survive and what damage had been done.

For the first time in her life, Kelly deferred to her little sister, as the nurse in Carrie took over. The three had sat in the small waiting room, Kelly and her mother holding each other while Carrie elaborated on what the doctor had told them, comforting them, giving them hope. She was good. Dad would have been proud.

Kelly pressed the phone to her chest and closed her eyes. What she wouldn't give for one of Dane's hugs right now. Her fingers stroked the back of the cell as though she could feel his warmth through its plastic case. Even just to hear his voice.

She looked at her watch. It was late evening here. What was it where he was? Early morning? Middle of the night? Damn, she couldn't think. He might be back in his trailer. She tapped his image on her screen, seeking a connection.

She didn't even think through what she would say if she got his voice mail. It rang once, twice, three times. Maybe she should disconnect.

The thought had barely lumbered through her brain when an enthusiastic, albeit sleepy, "Hey, Bright Eyes," filled her ear.

Emotion clogged her throat, preventing anything more than a weak, "Hi," to escape.

"What's wrong?" he said, his enthusiasm turning to concern.

She swallowed hard. She could do this. "My dad. He had a stroke."

"Aah, Kel. I'm sorry. Is he…"

"He's alive."

"That's good."

"He's in a coma," she said, her voice cracking.

"Do you need me there?"

She slumped into the alcove where the adjoining walls met, sobs taking over.

"I'm going to check flights," he said. "I'll call you right back."

"No," she managed between sobs.

"I want to be there for you, Kel."

She spread a hand across her abdomen, remembering how she'd planned to call him tonight but with entirely different news, knowing she couldn't handle facing him right now.

"My mom and sister are here," she said, her throat tight.

"They're there for your dad. Who's there for you?" Dane asked.

"J-just hearing your voice, knowing you'd have come, that helps."

"It doesn't feel like I'm helping much," he said on a thick voice that only made her cry harder.

"Kelly, it's killing me to hear you like this and know I'm not there for you."

She rolled her forehead against the cold wall and bit back her tears. "This is just the first opportunity I've had to let go since it happened. Sorry to be such an emotional mess."

"Let it out, Babe. That's what I'm here for."

She wanted to. Oh, how badly she wanted to. But she was afraid he'd get on that plane if she kept sobbing. Or maybe she should let him come.

Her sister appeared at her elbow. "He's awake."

"He's awake," she repeated into the cell.

"That's real good news," Dane said.

"I-I need to go."

"Call me later," he said. "I'll keep my phone with me…even on set, director's dictates be damned."

"Yeah. If I can."

She disconnected but didn't move.

Her sister touched her arm gently. "Kelly?"

Kelly shook her head. "I don't think Dad wants to see me."

"Of course he does."

"We were fighting, Carrie. That's why he had the stroke." She broke down in sobs again.

Carrie's arms encircled her. "You didn't cause his stroke. He's a stubborn old man with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, who smokes and has a short fuse."

"We were fighting," Kelly sobbed as if she needed to make someone understand she was to blame here.

Her sister rubbed her back and stuffed a tissue into her hand. "You need to calm down. This isn't good for the baby."

Kelly all but strangled on a sob, and glanced up at Carrie. "How do you know about that?"

"Mom."

"Of course," Kelly said, swallowing back her tears.

"Come on. Come see Dad."

"I can't," she said. "I just can't."

"You're emotionally drained. At least come back to the waiting room and sit down."

She shook her head. "I don't want to be around other people right now."

Carrie patted her shoulder. "Okay. I've got a place for you." She guided Kelly down the hall far from the ICU to a dimly lit waiting room barely big enough to hold a loveseat and padded chair. "No one's likely to bother you here."

Numb, Kelly sank onto the small couch. Carrie placed a box of tissues within easy reach.

"Rest," her sister commanded then stepped out of the room.

Kelly thought of calling Dane back. But just the sound of his voice was bound to start the waterworks all over again. She blew her nose in a wad of tissues, fragments of thoughts poking through her numb brain, like why had she told Dane not to come?

I want to be there for you, Kel.

She didn't doubt he did. He was that kind of guy. But he was working and he was the star. The star leaves and nobody works. She understood about people depending on you. Look at the lost boy they'd found and the fire they'd fought side-by-side, keeping it from spreading through the nearest town.

She braced her elbows to her knees and propped her chin in her hands. And, right now,
she
needed
him.
Was that enough to take work away from dozens maybe hundreds of people?

Her mother appeared in the alcove opening, hands on hips. "What's this I hear about you not wanting to see your dad?"

Kelly dropped her arms and hung her head. "It's not that I don't want to see him, Mom. I don't think he…should see me right now."

Alma sat on the couch beside her and hugged her to her side. "I'm sure he wants to know you're here with him."

Kelly shook her head. "I'm afraid I'll just make him angry all over again and that can only hurt him."

Her mother stroked Kelly's cheek and tucked her head against her shoulder. "Sometimes you can be as stubborn as he is, almost like his blood flows through your veins."

A single shuddering breath escaped Kelly. Her mother's arm tightened around her.

"Carrie said you were on the phone when she found you. Dane?"

She nodded against her mother's shoulder.

"Did you tell him about the baby?"

Tears rolled down Kelly's face. "I already gave one man a stroke with that news. I'm not chancing killing another."

"Oh Sweetie, you've got to stop taking the blame for everything."

"I just can't handle any more tonight," Kelly said.

"I understand."

She eased back from her mother. "You should be with Dad. Not here with me."

Wiping the tears from Kelly's cheeks, her mother said, "I think you need me now just as much as your father does."

Kelly shook her head. "You should go."

Alma sighed. "I'll go, but only if you promise me you'll lie down here and rest. All this stress isn't good for you."

Kelly grimaced. "Not in my condition, huh, Mom?"

"Not for you under any condition," her mother said, rising and pressing a kiss to her forehead as she had when she was a child being tucked into bed. "Try and rest," she said. "We'll let you know if there're any changes with your dad."

Kelly nodded and her mother left. She stared at the empty chair facing the couch. She was too weary to think about what an empty chair represented to her right now.

She tucked her legs up onto the short couch, her cell phone digging into her hip. She pulled it from its holder and looked at it. She should call Dane before he decided to jump on an airplane and fly to her. Part of her so wanted that. But another part, the part of her that was too fragile to even talk to Dane right now wanted him to stay away.

She glanced at her watch. Midnight here. Eight hours later where he was. With luck he might already be on a shoot.

She texted him.
Dad's holding his own. Exhausted. Going 2 sleep.

Then she shut off her phone.

#

As gently as the hand shook her shoulder, Kelly started. Seeing her mother she jerked upright. "Is it Daddy?"

"Your father is fine. He survived the night. That's an excellent sign."

Kelly glanced about her surroundings, her disorientation slow to dissipate. She was in the little waiting room where her sister had put her last night. She must have fallen asleep. But it was much brighter than it had been then, and she realized the source of the brightness was sunlight. She'd slept for hours.

Stretching, she asked her mother, "Why'd you wake me?"

"You need to call work and let them know where you are. And I need you to drive me home so I can get a change of clothes."

"What about Daddy?"

"He's stable and resting. Carrie will stay with him until I get back."

Kelly nodded, conceding, the drive back to Copper Falls long and silent.

Once home, her mother dashed into the house. Kelly sat a moment in the car, readying herself to face the scene of hers and her father's fight—preparing herself for the evidence left behind by the paramedics who'd taken him off in their ambulance.

Her cell buzzed. She knew even before she even saw the ID image it would be Dane. Still too fragile to talk to him, she chastised herself for not having shut it off after she'd called the DNR office.