Cultural Amnesia (61 page)

If reason, the daughter of heaven, were to judge what is
beautiful, then sickness would be the only ugliness.

—LICHTENBERG,
Aphorismen

Lichtenberg is saying more than that we should not judge by how people look. He is
also saying that we can’t help doing so. The operative word of the aphorism is the first word, “If.” (
Wenn Vernunft, die Tochter des Himmels, von
Schönheit urteilen dürfte, so wäre Krankheit die einzige Hässlichkeit
: you can see that my English has dampened the lilt of his rococo German, but it’s the best I
can do.) We are closer to being reasonable, then, for not caring about appearance; but we are further from instinct. In men, the instinct to admire personal beauty is traditionally held to be
more powerful than in women, and women are thus traditionally held to more reasonable on that issue, if on no other. The tradition answers the facts: the only question is whether the facts are
biologically determined. Late-twentieth-century feminism put a lot of effort into arguing that a cult of female beauty had been imposed by a consumer society. But presumably a consumer society
was not imposing anything on the Greeks when they made Helen’s beauty the ignition point for the war that brought the topless towers of Ilium down in flames. It makes more sense to admit
the instinct than to deny it. All the evidence of literature, painting, sculpture and the dance suggests that men see divinity in beauty. Except for opera and ballet, music is the art where
personal beauty has no value, and is perhaps the most consoling form of art because of that. E. M. Forster was brave enough to say that music lovers—of whom he, of couse, was one—were
not a very attractive lot. He was stepping carefully in a minefield. He might have said it more boldly. On that point, music, when not allied with opera and ballet, is fair always. Other art
forms very seldom are.

Admitting the instinctive response gives us our best chance to examine it. By saying the instinct does not exist we are
merely saying it should not, and condemning even the unattractive to lie. Kingsley Amis, in
Take a Girl Like You
, pulled one of his boldest strokes when he
launched the incurably awkward Graham into a stricken aria about what it is like to be shut out from companionable access to female beauty. The strength of the episode depends on our recognition
that he is saying what he feels. We can argue that he ought to think differently,
but we can scarcely ask him to feel differently. (The beautiful Jenny Bunn, his interlocutor
over the doomed dinner table, does ask him to feel differently, and finds to her consternation that he is almost as angry with her as he is with fate.) We can’t begin to be reasonable on
the subject until we concede that our response to beauty is unreasonable in the first place. Tolstoy dramatized the truth incomparably—incomparably even for him—when he made Pierre
fall in love with the pulchritude of his future wife even while she was busy proving that her head was full of air. Pushing the theme to its outermost artistic limit, Tolstoy shows Pierre
obsessed with the shapeliness of her breasts at the same moment when she is obsessed with the shapeliness of her own arm. Translated into a dumb-bunny vocabulary of sighs and silence, she
incarnates the neo-Platonic idea of Shelley’s that catapulted him to one of his wildest flights of vision: “I am the eye with which the universe / Beholds itself and knows itself
divine.” Pierre is heading for trouble. He has committed his soul to the care of Candy Christian, whose only real love affair is with a mirror.

Candy
would be a much less interesting book if it were merely pornographic. If
Terry Southern and Mason Hoffenberg had wanted to make their little masterpiece hornier, they would have given their heroine a sex drive. As it is, she can be aroused only by men driven mad with
need. In a key scene, two Greenwich Village poets (called Jack Katt and Tom Smart as a tactical alternative to calling them Terry Southern and Mason Hoffenberg) fight like animals for the right
to possess her. Their right to possess her is merely notional, because she has already been spirited away for intimate examination by one of the book’s endless line-up of randy doctors. In
the book the doctors are best equipped to assess her physical perfection. But the fighting poets are a tip-off to an apparently frivolous work’s deep reservoir of subversive truth.
Southern, working solo this time, made another breakthrough with
Blue Movie
, which was based on the premise that a serious director like Stanley Kubrick
might want to make a pornographic film in which the protagonists were beautiful and the proceedings therefore genuinely arousing instead of disgusting. (The book is dedicated to “the great
Stanley K.” who, at the end of his career, actually did make a film something like the one in the book, although nothing like as interesting.) As a novel,
Blue Movie
fatally dispenses with the saving
grace of
Candy
, where the sex scenes are played for laughs.
Blue Movie
too often plays them straight, falling into pornography’s usual trap of trying to show what can only be felt. But the idea that sexual
commerce is only accidentally, and not necessarily, divorced from the aesthetic impulse is a valid one.

It would take a scholar in the field (like Dr. Krankheit in
Candy
)
to work his way through the world’s complete catalogue of pornographic videos: there must be thousands of them. But any late-night channel-surfer in hotel rooms around the planet will be
all too aware that there is a hierarchy of physical attractiveness even in the strange universe of sexual performance on demand. At the bottom of the pile—she sometimes literally
is—will be a woman who seems to be held together only by Band-Aids, tattoos and metal pins. In the middle range, emanating mainly from California, there are women whose body parts have been
artificially enhanced to the point where the cameraman has to back out of the room to fit it all in. But at the top of the range there are some women you might, at first glance, conceivably like
to know. The men you would never like to know: if you ever doubted that there could be a specific physiognomy of stupidity, these men are there to set you right. They are at their most
frightening when fully clothed, struggling with their challenging role as the man who has come to repair the garbage disposal, or the psychologist who must check the tactile sensitivity of a
female astronaut just back from space. You have to see them act to realize how dumb a man can look. With their clothes off and their virile members contractually erect, they are merely
competitors in some sort of international caber-tossing competition in which they are not allowed to use their hands. The women, as always, provide the interest. Some of them look almost normal:
no collagen in the lips, no silicone in the breasts, a thoughtful air of having spent the previous night with a good book, or anyway with
The Da Vinci Code
.
What are they doing there?

The quickest answer is that the market has expanded to the point where they can earn millions for spending a couple of
hours a day wrapping themselves around an oaf. A slower answer, but perhaps closer to the essential truth, is that they are almost invariably without any acting talent whatsoever. Neither do they
look quite as good as Cindy Crawford, so the modelling option is not open. (It probably was,
when they were starting off: apparently the progression from almost-made-it model
to porno princess is a classic route to the pay dirt.) But they look pretty good. In fact some of them are outright fetching, and this awkward fact understandably multiplies the effect. If the
effect of watching pornography is to leave a man who is alone in a hotel room feeling even lonelier, he can expect to feel as lonely as the Man in the Iron Mask. There she is, an Aphrodite de
Melos with arms, and they are wrapped around a reasonably plausible businessman with his pants around his ankles. The actor playing the businessman is one of the few male porn stars with a
forehead higher than a box of matches lying on its side. He arrived at Aphrodite’s mansion in a black BMW and a blaze of sunlight. When he got out of the car, the sun went in. When he rang
the doorbell, the sun came out again. (Even in the highest grade of porn video, introduced by David Duchovny in more penurious days, the lighting and the sound tend to be variable in consistency:
if she takes her shoes off, stick your fingers in your ears before the shoes hit the floor.) But now he is in character up to the hilt. Even for the critical viewer, it is hard not to envy him.
Just as long as she doesn’t say anything. Unfortunately she does. Oh no, don’t say that. And don’t do that with your face. Just do nothing. Alas, they never do nothing. The
dream is always spoiled.

Maybe it’s that kind of dream. Here is appearance detached from personality, and put to the service
of nothing but sex. But in real life, appearance is never detached from personality for long, and there is no such thing as nothing but sex: if there were, there would be nothing in the bordello
except naked women. As things are, the women can hardly get into the bordello for the props: uniforms, whips, trapezes, leather masks, torture instruments, plunge baths full of custard.
Imagination will not be denied, and least of all when ecstasy is for sale. Everyone wants a relationship. Even if the girl does everything for your eyes, she must also do something for your
mind’s history. Buñuel, the man who knew most about these matters, condensed them into a single moment in
Belle de Jour
. For the large customer
from the Orient, it is not enough to be given Catherine Deneuve in a peignoir. She must carry a little box which, when opened, reveals some nameless atrraction that he has always wanted. We
don’t know what it is. As he revealed in his excellent memoir, Buñuel doesn’t know either: that’s the point.

So Lichtenberg is only half right. He is right that reason does not judge beauty. He is
wrong in his implication that the instinct which does do the judging is uncomplicated. It is complicated by our dream world, which complicates reason too. Indeed it is on this very matter that we
are given our clearest demonstration of how we can never have a purely reasonable response to the world. Reason is poetic: it carries our personal history folded into it. We probably do best to
accept that the poetry and the desire can’t be separated. In his memoir
Der doppelte Boden
, Marcel Reich-Ranicki tellingly quotes Kurt Tucholsky.
“
Entweder du liest eine Frau oder du umarmst ein Buch
.” (Either you read a woman or you embrace a book.) But he doesn’t tell us what
Tucholsky meant. I think he meant that the two kinds of experience were not just compatible, but intimately involved with one another. At the turn of the nineteenth century, long before an age of
political correctness would have punished him for it, George Saintsbury, probably the best-read man on Earth at the time, reached for a simile adequate to the effect on our minds of a successful
lyric poem: he said it was like seeing “the face of a girl.”

Homosexual men are unlikely to agree. For the heterosexual man, male homosexuality is not impossible to imagine—most
of us have an early history of it, in some form—but male homosexual promiscuity
is
impossible to imagine. Even sensitive souls like Christopher
Isherwood seem to have been decathletes of the Turkish bath. Cavafy probably wasn’t, but his poems prove that he dreamed of nothing else. The number of sexual contacts enjoyed by the
cruising homosexual man in the pre-AIDS era doesn’t even sound like enjoyment: it sounds like the history of a pinball in a machine rigged to play forever. Can all these targets have been
seen as beautiful? Perhaps it is a hint of what the purely reasonable world would be like: the world in which anybody could be attractive. It might be tough on the women. In the most ruthless set
of laboratory conditions we know about, Lavrenty Beria and Mao Zedong, two men who had absolute power to do whatever they wanted in the sexual sphere, confined their attentions only to women they
thought beautiful. Beria routinely picked up any pretty girl he saw in the street and took her home to be raped. Barely pubescent girls whom the senescent Mao liked the look of were given the
privilege of keeping him young by licking off the dirt that he never removed by any
other means. (The story is told in a fascinating book by Mao’s doctor, Zhisui Li:
The Private Life of Chairman Mao
.) If both men had lived in a world where judgement was the preserve of reason, no woman would have been safe.

One assumes that in the world of promiscuous homosexual men, there are aesthetic criteria that limit the
score to something this side of the astronomical. Oscar Wilde notoriously dished himself in court by saying there was a young man he had not kissed because he (the young man) was too ugly. One
can further assume that for some homosexual men the aesthetic consideration is paramount and even disabling. Thomas Mann’s writings, from first to last, were full of the
visione amorosa
: carefully immured in his various castles of domesticity, he sent his imagination on endlessly repeated flights to the ecstatic, which could be found
only in the revelation of a young male face.
Death in Venice
is one of the most powerful expressions of the amorous vision in all literature. For
Aschenbach, young Tadzio standing caught by the light in the shallows of the Lido is a message from heaven. But Mann exchanged scarcely two words with the original boy. In
The Confessions of Felix Krull
, the hero’s attractions may well have something to do with the Australian tennis champion Lew Hoad, a hero of my youth, although
not quite in the same way: Mann kept a picture of Hoad on his desk, for purposes of inspiration. (The picture is reproduced in the useful iconographical album
Thomas Mann: Ein Leben in Bildern
, but the player is not identified. I offer his name as my contribution to Mann scholarship.) Had they met at Wimbledon, Hoad would
probably have been safe from anything beyond a handshake. As far as we can tell, Mann’s extramarital love life was mainly a thing of dreams: a significant glance from the young waiter, an
ambivalent smile from the new pool cleaner. From the angle of actual fulfilment, the great writer was out of it: except in his mind.