Dangerous Beauty: Part Three: This is War (56 page)

“He’d suspect that …”

Carter nodded. “I know, Nathan. Just wishful thinking, is all.” She sighed softly and gazed down at their son. “Increase security here. Ten miles on each side of us. Buy the land, build houses on them, and have twenty-four hour watch. Silas is tricky, he always finds a way. I don’t want any type of danger anywhere near our babies, Nathan.”

Happy with his wife’s plan, he nodded his agreement. “I’ll get things started tomorrow.”

“Good,” she whispered. “We take increased security anytime we’re out with the boys.” She looked up at him. “Give me your hand, honey.”

Nathan reached forward and did as she’d asked. He frowned at the expression on her face, not knowing what she was about to say.

“Nathan,” she whispered, “if anything ever happens to me—”

Nathan didn’t even need to hear the rest before he began shaking his head and pulling his hand from hers. “We’re done talking.”

She held on tighter. “No, we’re not. Look at me, Nathan.” When he refused to meet her eyes, she tried again. “Nathan, please …” The soft cry in her voice was what made him do as she’d asked.

She frowned. “Do you think it’s easy for me to say this? It’s not easy for me to think about dying at the age of twenty-four. It’s not easy for me to think about leaving you, or leaving Maksim and Aleksandr without their mother, but this is reality.”

“No it’s not,” Nathan snapped. “It’s you not trusting me to protect you.”

Carter quickly moved forward to cup his face with her free hand. Her eyes bore into his as she shook her head firmly. “That’s not true and you know it. I trust you.” She lightly ran her fingers through his hair before cupping his face once again. “I trust you, I
trust in you
. I know that you’ll do everything in you power to protect me. This is not about trusting you, this is about preparing ourselves for the worst, bubby. This is about not underestimating Silas Steele.” Closing her eyes, she exhaled a deep breath. “If something awful were to happen and I died—”

“Carterina—”

“Listen, Nathan,” she pleaded, and he did as she had asked. “If something bad were to happen to me, and I died, I want you to promise me that you won’t shut down. I know that it would hurt, but you have to push through it, for our family, and for our sons.”

Nathan’s jaw ticked as he adjusted Aleksandr on his shoulder. “What is it that you want me to say, Carterina?” He lifted his brows in question, angry at her words. “You want me to say that I’ll keep moving forward if Silas succeeds in killing you, that I’ll live on, become the Don of the Salerno Crime family, and maybe even find a new wife? Is that what you want me to say?”

Carter sighed sadly. “Nathan—”

“No,” he snapped, cutting her off. “Don’t give me some bullshit about moving forward, and not
shutting down
. The honest to God truth, Carter? If something ever happened to you I would shut down. I would pack up myself and my sons and leave without looking back. There would be no Russian, no Don Nathan Salerno, nothing. I’d be done with all of it.” Nathan gave a swipe of his hand to further prove his point. “So there we go. I’m not promising you anything, but this.” He leaned forward and gripped her face gently. “Silas Steele is not going to take you away from me again. I won’t let it happen, end of discussion!” He had spoken the words sharply to let her know just how finished with the conversation he truly was. He released her face and sat back against the headboard.

Carter nodded her head and lifted a now sleeping Maksim to her shoulder. “Come on, switch with me. You can burp him.”

Nathan nodded and reached out for Maksim. Once they’d switched, Nathan held Maksim in his hand and burped him as Carter began nursing Aleksandr.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking up from the baby with teary eyes. “I’m freaking out, that’s all. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

Nathan immediately leaned forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. “Of course, baby. But you have nothing to be sorry about.” He tucked her hair behind her ear and tenderly stroked her cheek. “We’re going to make it, I promise. You have to fight with me, baby. Fight for our family, for our beautiful children. I love you, okay?”

She nodded and moved to curl up next to him on the bed. “I love you, too.”

Nathan put his arm around her, bringing her and Aleksandr closer to him and Maksim. Carter kissed the tattoo with hers and the boys’ names on his heart, then rested her head against his chest. Silently, Nathan prayed the prayer of protection for his family and held them close. He didn’t care what he had to do, he was not letting Silas win.

~*~

Anastacia strolled into the living room of Robert’s New York penthouse apartment with two cups of coffee in her hands.

“When did you learn to make coffee, love?” Robert asked.

“Cesare taught me,” she answered, a slight smile softening her face. “He teaches me something new every day.” How to cook and wash dishes by herself, or how to use a vacuum cleaner and a dishwasher … all things Anastacia had never had to do for herself before. Cesare taught her, and it was nice. Usually she never did it again after he’d taught her, but it was still nice.

“That’s good.” Robert took his coffee, and Anastacia curled up next to him on the couch, bringing her knees to her chest as she sipped her hot coffee. He’d always used to love when she did that; relaxed with him. Anastacia seemed so youthful when she relaxed, so peaceful when she was happy. Just watching her this way brought him joy. This was what he’d always wanted for her. From the moment Silas had brought her and Carter to his front door, Robert had wanted to help her. That was why he took her and Carter in—why he had raised a little girl that was biologically his niece as his daughter—because he wanted to do just one thing in his life that he could look back on and smile. Raising Carter and loving Anastacia had been that one thing … it would always be that one thing. Being a father had changed him, being a lover to Anastacia had made him look at life and love differently. He’d always be thankful for the time he’d had with them, he would always be grateful that he had gotten the chance to experience such pure, genuine love.

Anastacia’s soft voice interrupted his musings, and he turned his gaze to her smiling face.
“You’re thinking so hard, my love. You must tell me what is troubling you.”

Robert chuckled. “Must I?”

She nodded. “Yes. I convinced my partner to release me tonight so that I could spend time with you because I miss you. Now talk to me. Please.”

Robert took her soft hand in his. “I miss you, too,” he whispered. “You know how much I love you, Carterina, and Gabriel, right?”

Anastacia’s brows furrowed and she nodded her head. “Of course I do.” She gave his hand a tight squeeze. “What’s wrong, Robert? Did something happen?”

Robert released a long, sad breath. Yes, something had happened, and it began when he’d had a conversation with Silas a couple of weeks ago … face-to-face.

~*~

Weeks earlier . . . Robert &Silas

“Why do you look at me like that, Robbie? You appear as if you are guilty of something.”

Robert sighed and leaned forward, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I have much guilt, Silas. I should not be meeting with you, especially after what you did to me.”

Frowning, Silas waved his hand about. “It was a fight, Robbie. We had a fight. When will you let it go?”

“That
fight
lasted six years.”

“Most of which you spent in luxury—”

“But confined,” Robert reminded him. “You imprisoned me. How do you expect me to forgive you this time?”

“The same way I forgave you, that’s how.” Silas leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. “Did I not forgive you when you deserted me? When you bedded my wife? When you planned and schemed with her to take my daughter and son away from me? When you cut half of my face?”

Robert shook his head. “No you didn’t. You never forgave me, that’s why you injected me with that poison and locked me in your prison.”

Sitting back in his seat, Silas groaned in exasperation. “You’re never going to get over this, are you?”

“It’d be ridiculous of you to ask me to, Silas. In my eyes, you doing such a thing to me is betrayal.”

“I’m sorry,” he yelled in frustration. “You of all people know that I don’t think when I’m upset. Look at me, Robbie.” He stood up from his seat. “Look at me. Don’t you see the difference? I’ve changed now, I brought you here to show you that!”

“That’s because you want something,” Robert shouted. He wasn’t fooled by this meeting; he knew exactly why Silas would reach out to him like this. “Whatever it is that you want, the answer is no. I’ll never do anything for you again. I shouldn’t have come here. I’ve betrayed Anastacia and my daughter by doing this. I should just kill you now and save everyone the trouble.”

Silas shook his head. “You are upset, that is why you say these things. Such things that you know would hurt me.”

“Stop stalling, Silas, and tell me what you want.” Robert wasn’t an idiot. This Silas speaking to him—this lucid, rational Silas—was all a show. He wanted something, and when he didn’t get it from Robert, the true man would burst through the façade.

Silas hesitated for a moment, and then returned to his seat in front of Robert. He sighed softly before speaking. “You are right, Robbie. I want your help.”

Robert listened closely.

“I’ve spent much time thinking about my life, and the last time I truly felt fulfilled. I have decided recently that my business, my followers, even my money have become meaningless to me. I’m not interested in it anymore, none of it brings me joy. As I have aged, I have thought over my life and come to find that the most meaningful times in my life were when I was in the presence of my family. Making love to my wife, playing make-believe with my little girl, and playing catch with my boy. All of these moments brought me happiness.”

“Yet they are the past, Silas. Anastacia has moved on, and Carter and Gabriel are adults now. You have all but destroyed your relationships with each of them—”

“Don’t,” Silas interrupted with a tight expression on his face, “don’t say such things to me, brother. Nothing is ever destroyed forever. Relationships can always be rebuilt.”

Robert shook his head. “Not these, Silas. They want nothing to do with you.” Remaining honest with Silas was Robert’s best option. He wouldn’t be giving his brother one shred of false hope since it would only fuel his obsession.

“With me, maybe,” he said with hope in his voice, “but they love you, Robbie. They love you …”

Robert frowned. “What does that have to do—” Right when he was about to ask the question, he already knew the answer. “No!” he shouted, outraged that Silas would even ask such a thing. “Are you out of your mind? The answer is no. I’m done with this, Silas. Never again.”

“But it’s the only way, Robbie. Please,” he pleaded. “I could have just forced you—”

“I dare you to fucking try!”

“But I didn’t.” Silas got off his chair and on his knees in front of Robert. “I didn’t do that, Robbie. I would never do such a thing again.” He took Robert’s hand in a silent desperation. “Just one more time, brother. As you, I can show them that I am a better man. I can be the father, and the husband, that they deserve. I won’t mess up again, I promise. Just give me time with them.”

“The last time you played this game you nearly killed both Carterina and Gabriel.”

“That was a mistake.”

“You ordered your men to shoot!”

“I told them not to shoot,” he yelled. “Why would I kill the children I love? Why would I hurt my blood?”

“Why would you sell your other children? What makes Carterina and Gabriel so different from the rest of your blood, Silas?”

“Because they are not abominations, Robbie.” He smiled. “They come from love, from marriage. The rest of my children were bastards, born of lust, my weakness and insatiable need for the female body. Anastacia is my wife, my love, my heart. Carterina and Gabriel, they are our love in the flesh, and therefore they are important to me …”

There was nothing but truth in Silas’s eyes when he spoke the words, which meant he truly meant it. He held Carter and Gabriel above his other children because they came from the woman he loved. Robert didn’t doubt that Silas loved his family, he just knew from experience that to be loved by Silas was to be hurt by him. Silas was living in a fantasy world, a world where it was actually possible to erase all that he’d done, and act as if it never happened.

Robert held tightly to his brother’s hand and brought him back to reality. “You know Anastacia used to have nightmares after you attacked her? After you told her that her son was dead. She couldn’t even look in the mirror after you did that to her; her face was
that
unrecognizable. She would scream every time I walked into a room because I have your face, your voice. Carterina had to stay in the hospital for months because she was so small, so underdeveloped. She ate from a tube, had cords coming out of every part of her body because she wasn’t ready to be in the world yet. After she was strong enough, we took her home and had to beg you—
beg you
—to allow her mother to
feed
her the way she needed to be fed. Then after six months you threatened me, told me you would sell that little baby if I didn’t get rid of her mother. You didn’t have to see that broken woman! You didn’t have to take her child from her arms, the way we were taken from our mother many years ago. No! You left that to me. Scars like that don’t disappear, Silas. They last forever. You can always see them. The scars on your son! The way you beat him for starting a war between your precious followers. Is that how you love him? To be so callous and throw him in a basement like he was nothing because you couldn’t bear the sight of what you’d done. Did you think that showering him with material bullshit would make him forget about the pain and betrayal he must have felt the moment you turned on him. You, his
father
. This is you! This is the man you are. I will never—
never
—allow you to use me to get anywhere near them. We’re done!”