Dangerous Beauty: Part Three: This is War (58 page)

There was a brief moment of silence before he spoke again. “You received my letters—”

“I didn’t call you to talk about the letters,” she interrupted. “Well, not really. I just called to tell you to stop sending them. I don’t want them anymore.”

“Anymore?” he asked slowly. “You don’t want my letters … anymore?”

Carter frowned. “No, I don’t.”

He cleared his throat. “May I ask you why?”

Carter ran her fingers through her hair as her eyes darted around the room. “No. You don’t really have a right to an explanation from me, Silas. Both of our past encounters were unpleasant.”

“And for that I’ve apologized.”

“But you can’t just assume that I’ll let it go.” Her voice rose with emotion. Carter took a deep breath and calmed herself. “You threatened my family today—”

“That was not my fault,” he said calmly. “I offered him peace, and he vexed me by telling me to stay away from my own wife, my own
children
.”

Carter closed her eyes and fought to calm her rising temper. “I am his wife,” she said slowly. “You held me captive, and your men shot at our house, nearly killing all of us.”

“I apologized for that, too,” he argued. “I told you in the letters, my dearest daughter. I went about it all wrong. I’m trying to be better. I tend to be a bit dramatic at times, but I have changed.”

“Is changing threatening our lives?” Carter asked in a clipped tone. “You love my mother, Gabriel, and,” Carter closed her eyes as the muscles in her jaw tightened, “and me, but you threatened to murder us?”

“I was upset,” he explained, his tone apologetic. “I don’t like being told I can’t pursue what is rightfully mine.”

“We don’t belong to you, Silas!” she whispered sharply, and was met with silence.

Silas released a long breath. “You’re right … I’m sorry. Shit,” he muttered, “I’m saying the wrong thing again.” He sighed. “My intention is not to own you. It is to know you. I have grown tired of my lifestyle. I am ready to release it, let it go. I plan to take my riches and leave this life. I just want … my hope is that I have a chance for redemption.”

Confused, Carter frowned and shook her head. She hated that his words sounded so genuine when they couldn’t be. Silas was not a good man. There could never be a chance of redemption for a man like him. He’d hurt too many people that he’d claimed to love. “You have done too much, Silas,” she whispered. “You’ve hurt too many people I love …”

“Carterina—”

Carter didn’t let him speak. “I feel horrible every time I read your letters in my home. You killed my husband’s mother for Christ’s sake–”

“What is this?” he interrupted. “What do you mean I killed your husband’s mother? I assure you, I have never met the woman.”

“I was told you didn’t lie.”

“I do not lie,” he stated firmly. “I have not killed anyone’s mother, Carterina.”

“I don’t have time for this, Silas,” she snapped. “I already know you did it, so quit your lying. You killed Anya Salerno—”

“Anya Petrov?” he asked, quickly interjecting. “The Russian prostitute Robbie was helping? I did not kill that woman. Did Robbie tell you that?”

“He didn’t have to! I already know it’s true.”

“Daughter, you must listen to me—”

“No,” Carter closed her eyes tightly and raked her fingers through her hair once again, “I can’t. I won’t let you lie to me. I’m done. Stop writing me.”

“You tell me that you want no more lies, then you refuse to hear truth when it is offered to you, child?”

“I’m not a child—”

“And I am not a liar,” he yelled. “Anya Petrov was not killed by me, nor was she killed on my order. Robbie blamed me, and he told your mother I was responsible, but I assure you, I was not. I was going through a stage of jealousy back then, Carterina. You were nine, and I hated not having you. I became jealous of the relationship Robbie had with
my
daughter. On top of that, your brother had just lost someone he loved and he was inconsolable. I wanted you back, I wanted you two to be together. I sent my partners, Aziz and Scott Flanagan—the man you killed in the castle—to America because I was busy with some very important business deals. I spoke on the phone with Robbie, begging him to let me have you back, but he had grown attached to you. I did …” He sighed sadly. “I threatened to take you away from him because he upset me, but I never planned to really do it. After he threatened to kill me, I was so hurt that I hung up on him and told Aziz and Scott to come back. That was supposed to be the end of it.”

“But it wasn’t,” Carter argued. “If you didn’t kill Anya, then who did?”

“Scott did, I tell you the truth. Scott didn’t take my giving up after being threatened well. They’d been watching Robert for days in New York and Scott took it upon himself to send Robbie a message from me. He believed Anya was Robbie’s lover and he murdered her. While I was punishing Scott for his actions, I informed him that Robbie wouldn’t have been romantic with that woman because Robbie didn’t do romance … until your mother. When I had confessed to Robbie, his emotions overtook him. He shouted at me, then accused me of ordering the woman’s death. After he told your mother, our relationship got very bad for a while. He made me go five whole months without seeing you. You must believe me. Why would Robbie lie to you like this?”

“He didn’t,” Carter said softly. Her father never really went into depth about Anya Salerno’s death. He never confirmed—nor denied—that Silas killed the woman. He had only mentioned that Silas was upset because he had told her mother. “I heard this from Mom.”

“Well, tell me … do you believe me?”

Yes, she did believe him. The story lined up with what her mother had told her last year—give or take a few differences—so she was sure he was telling the truth. She just wasn’t going to tell him that. So what if he didn’t kill Nathan’s mother? He was still the man that abused her mother and brother. There was no way in hell he could ever say he hadn’t done that.

Carter cleared her throat. “It doesn’t matter whether I believe you or not, Silas. I can’t be in contact with you. I don’t want you sending me letters anymore. I’m done.”

“Anymore?”

“Yes,” she said, a bit louder this time.
How many times do I have to say it before he gets it?

“So you’re saying that there was a time when you wanted them to continue, and now you don’t want them anymore?”

Carter didn’t answer the question simply because she had no idea what the hell she should say. It angered her that he’d ask that, even though she’d already admitted to herself that she’d pathetically enjoyed reading about the dreams he’d had for his family. She hated that she’d stupidly used the word
anymore
, and he’d actually been listening close enough to catch it. It annoyed her.

“Carterina? Are you there?”

She debated whether or not to just hang up now and be done with the conversation, but she foolishly stayed on the phone. As she thought about how to explain her stupid statement, she noticed something.

“You’ve been calling me Carterina,” she stated. “No more Cecilia?”

“I prefer Cecilia, but your mother insists I call you
her mother’s name
. So to keep her happy, I’ve decided to put my pride aside, even though we had a deal.”

“What deal?” Carter asked, interested in hearing.

He sighed. “If we had a boy, she’d name him, and if we had a girl, I’d name her. I kept my word even though she betrayed me, but she didn’t keep hers.”

“In her defense, Silas, you did beat her half to death, and tell her that Gabriel had died from the attack.”

“Shit,” he sighed. “I wasn’t aware your mother told you about our fight.
Of course
she would before she gave me a fucking chance to explain,” he muttered with disdain.

“Actually, she told me about the way you attacked her while she was seven months pregnant, so technically it wasn’t a fight.”

Silence. Carter didn’t even ask him if he was still there, though. Honestly, she was hoping that he had hung up on her.

After a while he cleared his throat. “I disapprove of the choice in conversation between you and you mother.”

Carter frowned. “You only disapprove because she revealed to us what a cruel man you are. She’s only trying to protect us.”

“I’m your
father
,” he yelled. “She doesn’t need to protect you from me.”

“You’re yelling.”

“Because you are purposely provoking me!”

“She was right to tell me what you did,” Carter said calmly. “Had she have not, I would have believed all of the nonsense in the letters you wrote me. I would have believed …” Carter rolled her eyes at the emotions she felt but didn’t want to. “I would have believed that you actually cared for us.”

“If I say that I care for you, your brother, and your mother, than I do.
I’m not a liar
, daughter. I may not care for you the way you want me to, but I do care for you.”

“That’s a bunch of bullshit that you’ve convinced yourself into believing, Silas!” Carter brought her hand up and rubbed her temples, feeling frustration pulsing through her body.

“I don’t convince myself into believing anything, dear daughter. These things are simple for me. I either believe it or I don’t. Simple. For example, is it true that I wish you were more of lady and less of a fighter, and your brother less of a sociopath? Yes. But with parents like your mother and I, I should have expected as much.”

Carter frowned in confusion. “Why would you call Gabriel that? He’s not a sociopath.”

Silas laughed. “I see he didn’t translate everything Aziz said at the castle, did he? Figures. I told you before you had your tantrum that Gabriel is not easily controlled. He does and says anything that pops into that beautiful mind of his because he has no regards for consequence. Why does he have no regard for consequences? Because he doesn’t fear it, he rarely fears anything or anyone. He is dangerous. He loves few, and tolerates even fewer. He has no regard for anyone else.”

“That’s not true.”

“Child, your brother committed a mass murder without batting an eye or lifting a finger. I’m talking men, woman, and tiny little children. He was a child and he was able to penetrate the minds of some of the strongest men I know. He convinced them to brutally murder hundreds, and then they killed themselves, yet you do not believe he is dangerous?”

“So that’s why you beat him? Because you are afraid of him?”

“Gabriel was punished because he tried to kill me, then run away. I was wrong for hurting him the way I did, I give you that, but like I said, your brother is far from a fucking angel. I want to make it right because I love my son. I don’t fear what I created. My mind can’t be manipulated, so what’s to fear?”

“But you are trying to make
me
fear him. You tell me all of these things and expect me to … what? Exile my own brother. Push him away because he has what I consider a fascinating gift.” Carter shrugged. “I wouldn’t care if he’d committed the murders with his own hands, I’d still love him. Who am I to judge him? I love everything about him and there is nothing you can say to change that.”

He chuckled softly. “I never expected you to fear him. I just don’t think the both of you should be on your own without the proper guidance …”

“Without being trained,” Carter filled in, knowing that was what the bastard was thinking.

“If need be. You both suffer from the same madness. It is unnatural for a being to have such an ability. To push an otherwise sane man to insanity, bend them to your will … to make one
stab
himself repeatedly then beg you to kill him. I mean, its lunacy. Am I right, daughter?”

Carter said nothing.

“They should have killed you the moment they saw you possessed such power, but they didn’t … because you’ve got them, too.”

“Enough,” she snapped. “I have a family that loves me, that’s what I have! I didn’t manipulate them, nor did I bend them to my will.”
What the fuck am I doing?
She was supposed to be ending the communication, not having
a talk
with him. She wasn’t the problem, he was. “You know what, Silas, it doesn’t matter to me what you think. I want you to stop writing, that’s all. And while you’re at it, stay the fuck out of my life. I don’t want your gifts, and I don’t want your well wishes. I don’t need them. Just leave my family alone, leave my husband alone, and stop harassing my mother.”

“Harass …”

“Yes, harass. That is what you’re doing to her. She wants nothing to do with you, yet you still persist. I want nothing to do with you, so stop pursuing me. I’m not your daughter. I have a father. I don’t need nor want you in my life. I’m starting to wish I would have killed you…”

“
Tried
, Carterina! You wish you would have
tried
to kill me.”

Carter didn’t believe it, but she’d actually flinched when his sharp voice rose in her ear.

“The words that came from
your mouth
were, and I
quote, ‘Unless you are prepared to defend yourself with the skill your brother had, do not approach me’.
What I am saying to you is if I were to engage in a fight with you, I would have defended myself with skill
greater
than my brother,
but I didn’t!”
he roared the words in her ear. “I let you leave. I let Gabriel leave. I let you
kill
my dear friends in cold blood, and I let you live after you dare have the
audacity
to threaten my life.
My daughter.
A
being
that I made,
threatened me.
” His angry heavy breathing filled her ear as he lowered his voice and growled his next words. “The way I love may not be considered the norm,
my
child, but I promise, if I did not love you, you’d have been sold off to the highest bidder twenty-four years ago. But because I love you, I didn’t. It is
your choice
whether or not my love for you is a good thing, or a
very
bad thing. You may
want
to kill me, but I
guarantee
you, you
never
will.”