Dare to Trust (13 page)

“I need some time, Jason.” Mia sighed and her eyes started to tear up. She wasn’t sure they could repair what had broken. “I do still love you,” she whispered. “I just need some time.” The tears started to flow. Jason pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her again. “I don’t know what to do.” She felt guilty about the unplanned pregnancy but hurt by Jason’s coolness towards it and the miscarriage. Mia eventually wanted children and if Jason didn’t…

“I’ll stay in the guest room,” Jason told her. “I know you’re still trying to recover from what happened.” He held her, rubbing her back as she cried. “We’re going to be okay,” he promised her. He kissed the top of her head. “I’m gonna go put my stuff away in the guest room. You look tired. You should get some sleep.” Jason got up off the couch and went out to his car to grab his bag. When he came back into the cottage, Mia stopped him.

“Jason, I don’t want you to stay in the guest room.”

“Are you sure? I understand if---“

“I am sure.” Mia attempted a smile. “I’m sorry for leaving, Jason. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t stay.” Mia’s eyes started to fill with tears again. She sighed, frustrated with herself for being so emotional. It wasn’t like her. “”I just don’t understand why I had to lose the baby.”

“You need to grieve, baby.” Jason was holding her again. “It’s going to be okay. I know it hurts.” He kissed her gently. “You have no idea how scared I was that I was going to lose you. First, when they rushed you off to surgery and then when you left.” He kissed her again. “I never want to feel that again,” Jason told her. He held her until she stopped crying.

Once her tears had ceased, Mia pulled away. She had started to allow Jason to know what she was feeling but suddenly her emotions turned cold and she shut down again. “I’m going to shower and go to bed. I’ve got to work in the morning.” He hadn’t mentioned anything about how he had felt about their baby. And Mia really needed to know the truth. 

“Okay.” He was trying to be patient. He wanted their relationship to work. Jason brought his bag into the bedroom and put away his clothes in the closet. He found a drawer in the dresser that wasn’t yet full and put away the rest of his things. While Mia was in the shower, he changed, scoped out the contents of the kitchen and opened a beer. It had been a long afternoon, both with the drive from Boston and then the scene he walked in on once he had arrived. He was relieved Mia hadn’t sent him away. The fact that she hadn’t made him leave gave him hope.

After finishing his beer, he took a quick shower and suddenly felt exhausted. Jason dried off, wrapped the towel around his waist and wandered into the master bedroom to grab a pair of shorts. He found Mia, clothed in a t-shirt and panties sound asleep on top of the bed. He smiled, feeling fortunate to see Mia in his bed again. He gently picked her up and set her under the covers. She sighed but didn’t wake up. He shut off the light and climbed into bed next to her. He listened to her rhythmic breathing and fell asleep almost instantly.

It was the best night of sleep he had gotten in weeks. Jason awoke before Mia. He had delayed getting up for several minutes, savoring the feel of her next to him. God, he had missed that---he had missed everything about her. Once he did get up, he made her breakfast and coffee. He brought in a tray to the bedroom and kissed her gently to wake her. “Good morning, baby.” He smiled at her and handed her a cup of coffee. “You’ve got time for breakfast, right?”

Mia smiled. “Yes. I don’t have to be in until ten thirty.” She took a sip of coffee and glanced over at the eggs and toast. Jason always had been a better cook than her. “Looks good.”

“Somehow I bet you haven’t been eating much.” Jason handed her the plate. She started to eat.

The breakfast was interrupted by a phone call. “Dr. Hitchcock, this is Dr. Evans, the chief medical officer at the hospital. I know your shift doesn’t start for a few hours, but I would appreciate it if you would come in early, say in an hour?”

Mia was unsure of the request. “Is there a problem?”

“There are some questions about the situation yesterday. There are some state officials here that have some questions.”

“I see.” Mia’s face scrunched in displeasure. “I’ll be there.”

As soon as she disconnected the call, Jason was questioning her. “What’s wrong?”
              Mia had been too tired and too overwhelmed with Jason’s appearance to tell him about the dozens of church-goers she had treated yesterday. She briefly told him about the symptoms and how she had contacted the state. “They have some questions,” Mia finished.

“Do you know what caused the symptoms?” Jason asked.

“I have ideas, but no final diagnosis. But, it’s probably a case of ingesting bad food. They ate following the service.

IV.

             
When Mia arrived at the hospital, she was ushered into an administrative conference room. Seated around the large oval table were several faces she didn’t know and Dr. Daniels.

“Dr. Hitchcock, I am Dr. Rogers with the Maine Bureau of Health.” He partially stood, reaching across the table to shake her hand. “I’m here with Lieutenant Ross from the state police and Dr. Miller from the Maine CDC.”

Mia took a seat and nodded towards the gentleman. “Nice to meet all of you. How can I help?” she asked as she gave Tyler a cool stare.

Lieutenant Ross spoke first. “As you can imagine, your call yesterday sparked some investigating into what caused the same symptoms in the folks who had been at the church.” He made eye contact with Mia, wanting to gauge her reaction to what he was about to say. “The preliminary tests have come back positive for arsenic. The hospitalized victims have been started on chelation therapy, flown in from a Boston stockpile.” She had always been able to handle pressure amazingly well; Mia’s expression never changed with the news of arsenic. “What made you call the Maine CDC?”

“After treating several patients with the same symptom logy and same story, I felt that a potential epidemiological investigation was appropriate.”

“You had no thoughts with the first few patients, that they might have been poisoned?”

The lieutenant was starting to get under her skin. “Is the care I provided being questioned?” she demanded.

“No,” interrupted Dr. Miller. “Please don’t be on the defensive. We are just trying to get a little more information and piece together what happened.”

Mia let out a sigh and caught a look of amusement cross Tyler’s face. He was enjoying this! “The first man I took care of from the church was the worst. I initially thought he was having a cardiac event. After seeing several patients that basically had the same story, I called poison control with some questions. It seemed plausible to me that the people had been exposed to something; I thought maybe spoiled food that was causing the symptoms. I never considered arsenic.” When silence filled the room, Mia asked her own question. “Dr. Daniels, you cared for some of the patients from the church---what did you think was causing the symptoms?” Mia didn’t like how all the inquiries had been aimed at her.

Tyler gave a charming smile before he answered. “Spoiled food seemed like the likely cause to me,” he agreed with his colleague. “They reported meats and eggs that had been left out for several hours.”

“Well, Dr. Daniels,” The police lieutenant nodded to him and then glanced over at Mia. “Dr. Hitchcock, we appreciate you answering the questions. I am sure we’ll be talking again.”

As Mia left the conference room and headed towards the ED, Tyler gently grabbed her arm and stopped her. As soon as he had her attention, Tyler released his grasp. “It’s really slow today,” he told her. “You can go home. I don’t need you here today.”

“What?” She had been unsure how the next encounter with Tyler would be after the spectacle at her cottage the prior evening.

“Go home, Mia.” Tyler flashed a wry smile. “Seems like you must have some catching up to do with your friend that showed up last night.”

“You can’t play these games, Tyler.” Mia was more than angry. “You can’t penalize me here because you don’t like what happened last night.”

He started to walk down the hall away from her. “When you play with fire, you get burned honey,” Tyler told her over his shoulder.

That bastard! Mia fumed as she walked back to the cottage. Jason was surprised he heard the front door open. “Hey, everything go okay with the meeting?” he asked as he peeked out of the bedroom doorway. He had been putting away the rest of his things had been left in his car last night. As soon as Jason saw Mia, he knew something had happened. She was pissed.

“I got sent home.” Mia dropped onto the couch.

“Why?” Jason sat next to her. “Anything to do with yesterday?”

“You mean yesterday at work? No. It had everything to do with last night.”

“Are you going to file a complaint?” Jason questioned. Maybe this is exactly what will convince her she belongs back in Boston, he thought selfishly.

“No.” Mia got up and headed into the kitchen. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do. She angrily ventured back into the living room with her cell in hand. “He changed the damn schedule!”

“What?” Jason wasn’t sure what Mia was talking about but he knew she was beyond pissed. He also knew to stay clear and let her calm down before getting near her. She didn’t get tweaked all that often, but when she did, there was hell to pay.

“My work schedule. He just emailed a revised schedule. I’m not working for the rest of the week.” Mia’s eyes burned with anger. “Who the hell does he think he is, messing with my career,” she mumbled under her breath. She threw her cell phone down and moved towards the bedroom. Jason heard her turn on the water for a bath.

Outside, the air was damp and chilly. It was clear that winter was not far off in the distance. Jason decided to start a fire while Mia took a bath. He hoped she was getting some relaxation while in the tub. When she emerged in a fluffy pink bathrobe, he had a fire roaring and he had made sandwiches.

“Lunch,” he said as he offered her a plate. His lips curled up in a smile. “You know, spending the rest of the week with me isn’t such a bad thing.”

“No, it isn’t.” Mia accepted the plate. “The fire’s nice. Thanks.”

“It’s awfully raw out. Takes the chill out of the air. And it’s romantic.” He smiled again at her. “Remember what romance is?” he teased.

“Yes.” A slight smile formed on her lips. “Maybe you could remind me?”

“I would be more than happy to.” Jason moved towards her and scooped her up off the couch, heading into the bedroom. “I have been wondering what was under this robe,” he told her as he gently deposited her on the bed.

As soon as she hit the mattress, anxiety coursed through her. The last time she and Jason had made love played in her mind. It had been a disaster. “Jason, I’m sorry.” He had been settling on top of her, his erection pressing into her thigh and she had pushed him off. He immediately recognized the look; Mia had emotionally pulled away and her body had tensed from his touch, just as it had many times prior to her leaving him in Boston. “I can’t.” He could see the tears welling up in her dark eyes. With a long, loud sigh, Jason rolled off the bed. He would never force Mia to be with him. He left the bedroom without another word, his footsteps heavy. Mia curled up, hugging her knees as the tears started to flow.

Angrily looking around the cottage’s living room, Jason swore he could only see red. “Why?” he demanded. Mia said nothing. This was not how things were supposed to turn out. “Jesus!” he muttered as he picked up one of the glasses left over from the lunch in front of the fire, throwing it against the stone fireplace. It smashed into tiny pieces. He marched back into the bedroom, hands angrily on his hips as he glared at Mia from the foot of the bed.

His mind thought back to the scene that had greeted him upon his arrival to Mia’s cottage. Was there someone else? Jason felt his body tense as he considered the possibility. “Did you sleep with him?” His voice was low and uncharacteristic.

“What?” Mia looked up at him, not understanding at first. And then she remembered Tyler had been there when Jason had arrived. Guilt about her few dinners with Tyler coursed through her. “You mean Tyler?” Jason said nothing. Mia brushed away tears from her face and recognized the anger and hurt in Jason. She didn’t want to hurt him anymore. “We had dinner a few times,” she told him. “He kissed me. That’s it.” Mia paused and then continued. “He is not our problem.”

He had known instinctively that the answer would hurt. “I don’t know what you expect from me,” he told her, his tone icy. “I’ve been here for you through everything. I’m in love with you…” he stopped and unconsciously ran his hand through his hair. “I
need
you and you keep pushing me away. I don’t know if you even love me anymore. I can’t do this anymore, Mia. I almost lost you---you can’t imagine what it was like to sit in that damn waiting room, not knowing if you were going to make it. I can’t lose you.” His voice had softened and he pleaded with his eyes for her to stop pushing and let him in. He felt exhausted after confessing his feelings to her. “Do you want us to be over?” The question had been a whisper. He was afraid of the answer. Jason knew he was fighting the last battle in attempt to salvage what they had shared together. If Mia chose to really end it…what would he do?

“I’m trying.” Tears continued to roll down Mia’s cheeks. “I’m sorry.” She took in a breath, fighting back a sob. “I do love you, Jason. I want you here. I’m trying…I’m sorry I got pregnant…” her voice dissolved into tears. She felt as weak and vulnerable as she did when she had awoken in the hospital bed. He hated to see her cry but relief washed over him that she wasn’t walking away.