Dark Heart Surrender (17 page)

‘So?’ I raised an eyebrow, halfway through a bowl of lukewarm apple crumble.

‘We’re friends again.’ Ashley smoothed her hair. ‘After last night …’

‘Yes.’ I abandoned the crumble. ‘Of course, we’re friends. I’m sorry if I—’

‘No. Ade explained to me – you know, about why you might be a bit anti him right now. He told me about what happened at the hospital.’

‘Oh.’ I pursed my lips. ‘What did he say?’

‘Just that everyone was a bit upset, and he was really worried about his grandfather, and he kind of pinned the blame for his accident on Luca.’ She sighed. ‘And he knows that was unfair, and he didn’t mean for Luca to lose his job, and …’ She paused. ‘He just really wants us all to be friends.’

‘Right.’ I shrugged. ‘Well … yeah, sure.’

‘And,’ she leaned forward, ‘he really wants us to include Polly when we go out. She’s kind of lonely and I think she feels a bit left out of things.’

‘Right.’ I couldn’t help my nostrils flare slightly.

‘I mean, it would be nice for us to be a gang, don’t you think? Like in
Friends
or something. Hanging out together.’

For the life of me, I couldn’t imagine it.

‘OK,’ I said, a little inadequately. I looked down at the bowl of cold crumble.

‘I know she’s weird and, well, I find her intimidating if I’m being honest. But I’m trying to be grown up, you know. Make an effort.’ She stopped, a timid smile on her face. ‘I want Ade to be happy.’

‘Well, I want you to be happy,’ I told her. ‘And if that means getting on with Ade and Polly then I guess I can do that.’

‘And Luca?’ she asked quietly.

‘I guess—’

‘You talking about me?’ Polly appeared next to me, dressed entirely in black, her dark-red hair spiralling down her back. She wore a single black flower clipped next to her ear and heavy eye make-up, making the colour of her eyes more vivid than ever.

‘Wow,’ said Ashley. ‘You look amazing. I love that kind of neo-punk Goth thing.’

‘Thanks.’ Polly’s eyes slid to me. ‘I thought I’d dress up – to mark a new start.’

‘A new start?’ I asked lightly, unable to take my eyes off her.

‘Yes.’ She looked at Ashley and then back at me. ‘For all of us. I think we kind of got off on the wrong foot.’ She dropped her head slightly, a humble gesture, totally out of character.

But I had had enough of making enemies. I didn’t need the aggravation – and nor did Luca. Being friends with Ade and Polly was a win-win situation.

‘Well, I think that’s a great idea,’ I said after a pause. I caught Ashley’s expression – she looked delighted.

‘I think we should celebrate with a night out,’ Polly said, touching the flower in her hair, adjusting it slightly. ‘There’s this great new club that’s opened a little way out of Bale. It’s where all the “cool” kids are hanging out these days, apparently.’ Her eyes gleamed.

‘Sounds great,’ I said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. It wouldn’t hurt to make an effort. I looked Polly up and down. ‘Is there a dress code?’

Polly cocked her head to one side thoughtfully. ‘I bet you could look pretty hot if you tried,’ she said. ‘You know, if you wore something other than jeans and a sweatshirt. I bet you’d look stunning.’

I shrugged. ‘I’m not really into all that girly stuff,’ I said. ‘It’s not me …’

‘Yeah.’ Polly half yawned as she spoke. ‘I get you like the understated look and all that. But sometimes it’s good to shake things up a little. Show another side of yourself …’

I remembered standing in Vanya’s clothes closet in Nissilum, staring at myself, a stranger in the mirror. It seemed so long ago.

‘I have so many clothes you could borrow,’ cut in Ashley, excited. ‘Emma and I could totally make you over.’

Polly smiled tightly at her. ‘In pink?’ She rubbed at her arm patronizingly. ‘No. Leave it to me.’ She widened her eyes at me. ‘Why don’t I come over to your place tomorrow night with some clothes. I think we’re about the same size …’

‘Oh no, that’s not necessary,’ I said quickly, uneasy at the prospect of Polly in my house.

‘I insist,’ she said good-naturedly. She grabbed my arm excitedly. ‘I want to meet that boy of yours too. If we’re all going to be friends for real, I think we should all get to know each other better, don’t you?’ She trapped my eyes with hers, making it impossible for me to do anything other than open my mouth, speechless.

‘I wish I could come,’ said Ashley. ‘I’ve never been inside your house, either. I’d love to meet your family. But it’s my dad’s birthday and we’re having a special dinner.’

‘Oh well, never mind,’ said Polly dismissively. ‘You can meet them another time.’

I caught Ashley’s disgruntled expression and tried to signal my helplessness through eye contact.

‘Fine,’ I told Polly eventually, defeated. ‘Come over after college tomorrow. But don’t bring anything too outrageous – or revealing. It’s not my style.’

‘Trust me,’ she said solemnly. ‘I know exactly what you should wear.’ She sighed happily. ‘I’ve got to run. Stuff to do. I’ll sort out when club night is … It’s going to be amazing.’

Ashley turned to me once Polly had disappeared. ‘She’s a little overwhelming, isn’t she? I see what you mean.’

‘I know,’ I groaned. ‘And I’m regretting this already.’

‘At least she’s trying,’ Ashley said. ‘I just want us all to get along.’

I smiled at her, though inside I felt I had just been ambushed again. Polly and her brother had this way of removing your free will just by looking at you. Some people were like that, I knew. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that Ade and Polly Ellis were more than just a couple of strong personalities.

‘She’s amazing,’ gushed Dot, watching Polly. ‘She’s like Emily the Strange, but with red hair.’

‘Polly the Strange,’ I said, shaking my head. That was putting it mildly.

‘When I grow up I want to look like that,’ Dot continued, gazing at Polly’s outfit: a black net tutu, a striped black-and-yellow jumper, and purple suede creepers. Her legs were bare and pale and covered in fine freckles. On her head she had wrapped her hair in a black cotton turban-type thing, with a few red tendrils escaping. She should have looked terrible, but she looked amazing.

A footstep on the stairs behind us made me swivel to find Luca, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

‘What’s the commotion?’ he asked blearily.

‘Are you OK?’ I frowned.

‘I’m just tired. I think I overdid it yesterday. He gave me a meaningful look and I remembered he had turned the day before. It always left him drained and fatigued for a day or two. I took his hand and linked my fingers through his. ‘Maybe you should sit this experience out,’ I whispered. ‘It won’t be pretty.’ I turned back to where Polly was still talking to my parents.

‘Who is that?’ Luca said, craning to see.

‘Polly,’ hissed Dot, still enthralled. ‘Isn’t she fabulous?’

Luca and I exchanged a look.

‘
That’s
Ade’s sister?’ he said. ‘She looks like a cartoon character.’ He noted my raised eyebrow and added, ‘I’ve been watching quite a few cartoons lately.’

Dot giggled. ‘She’s like a gorgeous bumblebee.’

‘Dot’s smitten,’ I said dryly. ‘Looks like Polly has another person under her spell.’

Polly broke off her conversation with my mother and realized we were all perched on the stairs, observing her. She waved and grabbed the handles of a large laundry bag at her feet.

‘I’ve got enough for all three of you,’ she said, approaching us. Her eyes were trained on Luca. ‘You must be the famous Luca?’ She dropped the bag next to me and held out her hand. ‘I’m Polly Ellis. I can only imagine what Jane’s been telling you about me. But pleased to meet you, I’m sure.’

Luca took her hand awkwardly. ‘Ade’s sister,’ he said, nodding. ‘I’ve heard a little about you, yes.’

‘Hmm.’ Polly’s eyes remained on him for a couple of seconds, before she transferred her gaze to Dot. ‘And who is this adorable little girl?’

Dot squirmed, delighted. ‘I’m nearly twelve years old actually,’ she said. ‘My name is Dorothy, but everyone calls me Dot.’

‘You’re so cute.’ Polly ruffled her hair. ‘You’re nothing like your sister.’ She flared her nostrils mischievously. ‘Not that Jane isn’t cute, of course.’ She looked down at her bag, then back at me. ‘Shall we get started?’

‘Polly’s giving Jane a makeover,’ Dot explained to a confused-looking Luca.

‘Why?’ He frowned, tugging at my arm as Polly’s bare legs were already ascending the stairs. ‘Don’t let her push you around,’ he whispered. ‘I don’t want some kind of cartoon creation as my girlfriend.’

‘Don’t worry,’ I told him. ‘I’m just trying to be friendly. You know, humour her … I think it’s better that we at least make a show of getting on with the Ellises, don’t you?’

Luca hesitated, though he still didn’t look happy. ‘I suppose so,’ he said reluctantly.

‘Hey,’ Polly called down from the top of the stairs. ‘Which one is your bedroom, Jane?’

‘I’m not sure,’ I said, staring at myself in my mother’s full-length bedroom mirror. ‘It’s a little fitted for me.’

‘You look like a nineteen-fifties film star,’ said Polly, lifting my hair up at the front and backcombing it. ‘Like Ava Gardner or someone like that.’ Still holding my hair, she stepped to the side to look at my reflection. ‘You’ve got better boobs than me; I don’t fill out this dress nearly so well. She smoothed the stiff cotton down to my waist, where the dress moulded to my body. The skirt was full and swirly and stopped at the knee. The neck was a loose boat-style and the sleeves were shortish, showing my arms. Though it was grey, it had a sheen to it and I could see it brought out my eyes.

Polly turned back to my hair, pinning it up in a kind of roll on top of my head. She smoothed out the rest of it so that it hung in loose curls over my bare shoulders.

I looked down at my feet. ‘I don’t have any shoes that will go with this.’

Polly rummaged around in her laundry bag, drawing out a pair of shoes identical to her own. Teddy-boy creepers, dark grey with black piping.

‘These with ankle socks,’ she commanded. ‘Stops you looking twenty years older than you are. I call it film star rockabilly. Glamour with a bit of edge.’

Not at all sure, I sat down on my mother’s bed and put on the shoes. They fitted perfectly. How had she known my size was the same as hers? I wondered. Once the shoes were on, I stood and looked at myself again.

‘Actually, it is kind of cool,’ I admitted. ‘Sort of girly, but a bit tomboyish, too, with the shoes.’

‘See.’ Polly plumped herself down on the bed. ‘Aren’t you glad you humoured me now?’

I turned sharply. Had she heard what I’d said to Luca on the stairs? How could she have? We’d been whispering …

But Polly’s smile was not malicious. She collapsed back flamboyantly on my mother’s quilt and stretched out her arms. ‘He’s hot,’ she said then, a propos of nothing.

‘Who’s hot?’ I said, touching the hairsprayed quiff on top of my head. It was stiff and weird to the touch.

‘Luca.’ Polly sat back up. ‘I can see what all the fuss is about. And why you’re so loyal.’

‘I’m not loyal because he’s hot,’ I said frowning. ‘I’m loyal because he’s … well, he’s Luca.’

‘Sweet,’ Polly said wryly. She looked at her nails. ‘Have you two done it yet?’

‘No.’ I sat down next to her. ‘Though we sleep in the same bed together.’

‘Interesting,’ said Polly, smirking. ‘And slightly odd.’

‘It’s my parents’ house,’ I said. ‘And my little sister lives here too. No way am I doing it under this roof.’

‘That must be rather frustrating – for both of you.’

It was frustrating. And I had been thinking more about it just lately. I didn’t want to make it into some big deal between the two of us, but I didn’t want to be one of those couples who were more like brother and sister. The longer time went on without us even attempting to lose our virginities, the more awkward it would be.

I sighed. ‘We’ll do it when the time is right, I guess.’

‘Maybe Luca already has,’ Polly offered in an innocent tone.

‘No. No, he … hasn’t.’ But as I spoke, I realized I had no idea. Luca and I had never talked about it.

‘Jane …’ Polly’s face was just centimetres from mine. ‘What are you thinking about?’

‘Nothing,’ I replied, fixated by her weird-looking pupils. Dark and like pinpoints.

She smiled and all I could see was the curve of her pink lips.

‘So, aren’t you worried that he might start …’ She sighed, a perfect intake of breath. ‘You know, that he might get impatient?’

‘Luca’s not like that,’ I said slowly. ‘He’s deeper than that.’

‘Ooh. Deeper.’ Polly started to giggle, until she caught sight of my expression. ‘I mean, that’s lovely. Special.’ She stared hard at me. ‘So Luca’s special.’

‘Yes.’ I said, the fog descending. ‘He’s not like other boys.’

Polly didn’t take her eyes off me as she reached up and retouched the cotton bandana thing on her head. I followed the movement of her hands.