Dark Heart Surrender (19 page)

‘Why would it?’ I shrugged. ‘He’s kind.’ I lifted my chin defiantly. ‘You should maybe think about being a little kinder yourself.’

Ade set his face in an exaggerated contrite look. ‘You
are
bothered,’ he said, putting his hand on my arm. ‘What, are you two joined at the hip?’

‘Did I say anything about being bothered?’ I snapped, pushing his hand off me. I was so hot I felt like I was on fire; I could feel the sweat on the back of my neck.

‘You look absolutely stunning, by the way,’ said Ade, and the heat grew more intense. ‘I hope your noble boyfriend has told you that tonight?’

‘Of course he has,’ I said calmly, though I was lying. Luca hadn’t said a word, just raised an eyebrow when he’d seen me at the beginning of the evening in all my club regalia. I’d tried not to mind about that, but of course I had. Luca hadn’t been the same since the night he’d come on to me so strongly. Part of me thought that it was because I had knocked him back, but another, bigger part of me knew something was wrong.

‘He’s a lucky lucky boy,’ said Ade, who seemed to have forgotten about his no-hoper companions and was giving me the full force of his attention. ‘I just hope he knows that.’

‘Yeah, well …’ I swung round, staring at the door of the ladies’ toilets. ‘When I want your opinion on how Luca should feel, I’ll ask for it.’ I craned my head over the heads of a couple snogging. ‘I’m going to go and get Ashley out of there. Something might have happened to her.’

‘Can’t take her drink,’ said Ade, shaking his head.

I was about to move but stopped and turned to him. ‘She didn’t want any alcohol,’ I said, slowly. ‘Weird that she ended up with some, don’t you think?’

He held my gaze. ‘The bar staff here are rushed off their feet. They mixed up my order. It happens.’

‘Sure it does,’ I said sarcastically and set off to get my friend.

The Ladies was packed with girls re-doing their makeup and swigging from contraband bottles of vodka or whatever. All of the cubicles were empty. I checked each one of them all the same.

‘Has anyone seen a blonde girl in a blue stretchy dress?’ I asked. ‘A little drunk, maybe?’

A hard-looking girl with short peroxided hair made a face. ‘Plenty of them,’ she said airily. ‘Take your pick.’

‘No, my friend was in here. I thought she was in here, anyway.’

‘You mean Barbie’s best friend?’ said a girl with poker-straight dark hair. ‘I saw her. She staggered out of here about ten minutes ago.’

‘Oh, yeah?’ the short-haired girl laughed unpleasantly. ‘She went to find the rest of her pretty pink friends, probably.’

There was a collective titter from her gang of mates.

‘Thanks,’ I said wryly, pulling open the door.

Ade had disappeared when I emerged back into the hall. I sighed heavily and marched off determinedly to find Luca. When I rounded the corner I saw all three of them: Ade, Polly and Ashley, huddled together. Luca was patting Ashley’s back awkwardly.

As I approached, Ash lifted her head, her mascara streaked down her cheeks.
Horror Barbie
, I couldn’t help thinking.

‘Ashley,’ I said, stepping close to her. ‘I came to find you, but you’d—’

‘Yeah eventually,’ she said, sounding sober now. ‘Thanks for just leaving me, Jane.’

‘But I thought…’ I glanced quickly at Ade. ‘I thought Ade was looking out for you.’

‘Ade was talking business with his … his … those people,’ she said, her voice rising in pitch. ‘But you just walked off and left me – following Luca …’ She looked between Polly and Luca. ‘What is it? You can’t leave him alone for a second? Scared he’ll run off?’

My mouth dropped open. ‘No!’ Polly and Ade were looking at me knowingly, smug almost, while Luca watched the scene awkwardly.

Ade put his arm around Ashley. ‘Ash, you’re upset. Let’s get you home.’

She shrugged off his arm. ‘And you’re as bad,’ she said, uncharacteristically bolshie. ‘You don’t want me. I can see that now. You haven’t taken your eyes off her all night!’

I eyed Luca, waiting for him to explode. But there was nothing. Not a flicker of anything. What was going on with him tonight?

‘That’s just silly,’ I said. ‘You had a drink and you’re imagining things.’

‘She’s right,’ said Ade, stroking her arm. ‘You’ve got this all wrong.’

Polly tossed her hair impatiently. ‘Look, let’s just go. The whole night is a disaster.’ I saw her roll her eyes at Ade. ‘I should have known.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I glared at her. ‘Don’t pretend you didn’t design this yourself.’

Polly smiled, a slow catlike smile, and in the midst of my annoyance I caught Luca gazing at her, riveted.

‘You really need to watch that paranoia of yours, Jane,’ she said. ‘I think you’re losing it.’

‘Luca?’ I addressed him finally. ‘Are you just going to stand there?’

Luca exhaled, looking more irritated than sympathetic.

‘I came to find you,’ I repeated to Ashley. ‘I’m the one who cares around here.’ I shot a furious glance at the other three. ‘And actually, I’m going to take you home in that cab. The others can stay here.’

Ashley looked uncertain, but I could see some sense returning. ‘Would that be OK, Ade?’ she said.

‘Of course.’ He squeezed her a little too tightly and looked distinctly unconcerned that she was leaving.

‘You’ll find your own way home, I suppose?’ I said to Luca. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eye. ‘I’m not coming back here.’

‘Jane,’ he said quietly. ‘What’s the matter with you tonight? You’ve been in a strange mood since we got here.’

I was going to retort that it was him who’d been weird, but I really didn’t want to have a row. Not with Polly looking on, relishing that prospect.

How had I ever thought she was on my side? I couldn’t wait to get home and tear the stupid dress off. It had caused me nothing but grief since I’d put it on.

‘I’m not getting into it,’ I said eventually. ‘And don’t wake my family up when you get home.’

With that, I took hold of Ashley’s hand and half dragged her out of the club.

‘D
on’t you think you should have gone after her?’ Luca turned on Ade, who was watching Ashley disappear with Jane.

Ade sighed. ‘You know what girls are like,’ he said. ‘They seek refuge in each other in times of trouble.’

Luca frowned at this statement; he was trying to figure out what Ade meant exactly when he felt Polly’s eyes on him. Not for the first time that evening he felt a little more of his free will slip away.

‘
We
can still have fun,’ she said softly. ‘You look as though you could do with some fun.’

Luca bristled at the subtext to her words. ‘Jane
is
fun,’ he said defensively. ‘She’s being a good friend, that’s all. She’s been worried about Ashley all evening.’ It was a pointed response, directed more at Ade than Polly. ‘You’ve hardly been the model boyfriend, Ade.’

Ade laughed, stroking his chin arrogantly. ‘You don’t know much about the female of the species, do you, Luca? Girls need to be kept on their toes. All this chivalrous, lovey-dovey nonsense. It’s emasculating.’ He drew up his shoulders, suddenly looming over Luca in an almost animal-like stance – a deliberate gesture to assert his dominance.

Luca was thankful that the full moon had just passed. This kind of display would have tested all his instincts if the time had been right. He took a breath, deciding to ignore the obvious provocation. But he was beginning to register that he had not in fact been all that chivalrous that evening. In fact, he had behaved in a way he would never normally behave. He had been dismissive, disrespectful to Jane. Why hadn’t he gone with her and Ashley? He should have insisted on it. He felt a surge of sadness and anger at himself. And along with that a fear: that his natural personality was been warped somehow. Gradually, subtly – by Ade and his sister.

He had to get a grip on this situation. Recover himself, if he could. He hated any acts of unkindness. Hated that he had been insensitive to a girl he loved more than anything.

‘Where I come from, the male protects the female,’ he said calmly. ‘There is no game.’ Out of the corner of his eye he was conscious of Polly’s expression, intense and sultry, and was aware of a tingling on his skin. He moved slightly away from her.

‘I think that’s adorable,’ she said, and in a subtle movement touched his arm, her fingers moving down it. Long, elegant fingers, skin like alabaster. ‘I wish we had been raised with that code.’ She glanced at her brother. ‘But Ade is trouble. Always has been. Always will be.’ She laughed, her fingers digging slightly into Luca’s flesh. ‘And the truth is we girls like a steely quality to our men. Someone to keep us in order from time to time.’

Luca closed his eyes, as though that would shut out the effect she was having on him. He had come so far. He would ruin it all if he wasn’t careful. The music seemed to be getting louder now and people were pushing past the three of them.

‘Looks like the band has come on stage,’ said Polly coolly. ‘Shame Jane and Ashley had to miss it.’

Luca glanced into the hall, a leather-clad band of girls were tuning up their instruments on the small stage. A lead guitar struck up and the crowd inside surged forward.

‘You want to go and watch them play?’ Polly asked, seeing him watching the girls moving provocatively on stage.

He shrugged. ‘Not really my thing …’ Though he couldn’t take his eyes off the band.

‘Come on,’ Polly purred, and this time he felt her cool hand in his, her fingers stroking his palm. ‘It might help you relax.’ As he turned to her, he saw the subtle pink of her lips against that perfect pale skin and her eyes, intense and seductive.

‘OK,’ he found himself saying. ‘Maybe just for a bit. He was certain a look had passed between brother and sister, but his head felt too full of alien thoughts to care. Suddenly he felt like dancing, like letting go. Letting all the stress leave his body.

Inside the hall, Polly swayed next to him and he found himself mimicking her movements, their hips touching. Then in a subtle movement she was behind him, her arms around his waist, her body pressing up against his. He felt himself tense for a second, but then he was drawing her hands closer around him and allowing them to slowly stroke his stomach. Behind his, her body felt strangely soft and yielding, as though she wasn’t afraid of it. He shut out an image of Jane, who was so cautious about hers.

As the band’s first track ended in a dramatic guitar riff, he knew he should disentangle himself and move away from Polly. But he couldn’t. Then he felt her mouth against his ear, her breath heavy but sweet.

‘Aren’t you glad you stayed?’ she whispered.

Luca was silent, but he shut his eyes, knowing he wanted to turn and kiss her. Not just kiss her …

What was happening to him? He had to get out of here.

He turned to tell her, to push her away, but her face when he met it was so startling beautiful, and the desire in her eyes so undeniable, that he couldn’t speak. He stared at her, feeling his pulse quicken.

‘It’s OK,’ she said breathlessly. ‘Just relax …’ She tilted her chin to look up at him and tugged gently at his T-shirt, pulling him close to her. He made a feeble attempt at resistance but he knew it was useless. He leaned into her, his lips moments from hers.

‘Such pretty green eyes,’ she whispered and then she kissed him, surprisingly softly, and though he tried not to reciprocate, he felt something primal take over. Before he knew it, he was kissing her back. Hungrily, passionately, his hands all over her body.

‘Hey,’ someone said nearby, ‘get a room.’

And then he was lost in the noise, consumed by the crowd, by the heat, by Polly. But as he ran his hands through her hair, pushing it back off her face as he kissed her, a pain appeared from nowhere – it felt like a stabbing in his heart – getting more intense. And then a million images flashed through his face. His father’s … his sister’s … Jane’s. The betrayal in their eyes …

He pulled back, gasping a little. ‘I’ve got go,’ he told her, finally pushing her away from him.

A real or contrived look of hurt appeared on her face. Her bottom lip pushed out unhappily. ‘But we were having such a good time,’ she said, and her words were so clear even though the noise from the band was almost deafening. ‘Don’t go …’

‘No.’ He shook his head, feeling trapped. Not just literally by the people hemming them in, but by something coming from Polly. He looked away from her, knowing that every time he did, she sucked him in and rendered him powerless. Keeping his eyes on the back of the hall, he registered a new feeling. One of revulsion and self-loathing.

Jane. He had betrayed her.

‘Luca,’ Polly pulled at his arm. ‘Come on. You know you were enjoying yourself. You wanted it … You wanted me.’

Finally, the fog in his head evaporated and when he looked at her he saw the hardness in her eyes. Determination. Steel.

‘I don’t want you, Polly,’ he told her. ‘I never did.’

To his surprise, he saw her eyes fill with tears and that determined bottom lip actually wobbling.