Darkest Day (StrikeForce #3) (24 page)

She nodded, sniffling a bit.

“I should have been more focused, though. I can be better.”

I nodded. “Then be better. Go get some rest, okay?”

She nodded and stood up. I watched her walk out of the waiting room, then shook my head and went back into Ryan’s room and took my place in the recliner. “She’s got it bad for you,” I muttered.

Not as bad as I do, though, I thought to myself, a thought that came out of nowhere, and I immediately shoved it far, far away.

Chapter Fourteen

I passed the next few hours thumbing through magazines, then I picked up one of the paperbacks Sarah had left for me. It was a historical romance I recognized, because Mama had had a copy as well. She’d loved historicals, and it was one of the things that had rubbed off on me. I started reading it and realized I’d read this one before and loved it. So I read, noting the nurses that came in regularly to check on Ryan, the constant beep of his monitors, the sky darkening, then getting progressively lighter outside his window.

I sat, my legs thrown over the arm of the recliner as I read. Sarah brought me a cup of bitter black coffee, and I drank some and then tossed it in the small bathroom in his room. He’d hate the smell of it, I thought with a smile.

I settled myself back in the chair and kept reading as the sun rose, bright morning light slanting across the clean white floor of his room.

“You’ve been here a long time,” he said in a quiet, hoarse voice. I jumped up and went to the side of his bed.

“Yeah. How’d you know that?” I asked, trying not to start crying in relief like an idiot.

“Whole room smells like you. Not a bad way to wake up,” he answered.

“I’ll call the nurse,” I said. He was obviously still out of it.

“Not yet. I’m fine.”

He opened his hand, the one nearest to me, which was beside him on the bed, and I slid my hand into his, twining our fingers together. “How do you feel?” I asked. His eyes were still closed.

“Like a motherfucker cut me in half,” he said, and I let out a weak laugh. He opened his eyes then and looked at me. “You got him. I saw that much before I passed out.”

“Well. You were shooting the hell out of him when I got there. I just finished him off.”

“He still alive?”

“Yeah. He’s lucky you came through it okay,” I said, not even caring about the crazy growl I heard in my own voice.

He squeezed my hand. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“What was?”

“You landing like a badass, full of rage and kicking the shit out of him,“ he said. “I told myself in that moment that if I made it through, I’d tell you—“

“You’re up!” Dr. Ali said, and I had to restrain the urge to smack her. I moved out of the way, reluctantly releasing Ryan’s hand as she checked him over, looking at his wounds, taking his vitals.

“He’s okay, right?” I asked after a few minutes.

“He’s fine. We have to watch for infection the next couple of days, but you’re strong and healthy and so far I’m really happy with your progress,” she said to Ryan.

“So how long am I stuck here?” he asked, and she shook her head.

“You’ll be here in the recovery wing for a few days. At least three more, but we’re playing that by ear. And then after that, you’ve got at least two months before you can be out doing your usual stuff.”

“Can’t be out that long,” he argued.

“Yes you can,” Dr. Ali and I both said.

“If you try doing your old activities now, you’ll split something and then you’ll be back in here. We had to repair your stomach, intestines, a bit of your kidney, your pancreas, not to mention your flesh itself. There won’t be any ass kicking for a while. Understand?” Dr. Ali asked.

Ryan answered “yes, doc,” even though he didn’t look happy about it.

“You’ll also have to make do with a liquid diet for a few days, until we’re more sure about your stomach function.”

Ryan nodded.

Dr. Ali turned to look at me. “This one stood and oversaw all seven hours of your surgery, and has barely left your side while you were out. It almost came to blows when I tried to tell her she couldn’t be in the operating room.”

Ryan’s gaze slid to me. “She’s stubborn,” he said with a small smile.

“Look who’s talking.”

“Makes us hard to kill,” he said.

“Good.”

Dr. Ali smiled. “All right then. We’ll be around to check on you again in a while. You do need to rest,” she said, giving me a pointed look. “It will help your recovery.”

“I’ll make sure he rests,” I told her, and she rolled her eyes, patted Ryan’s shoulder, and left. He called a thank you to her as she walked out.

“I should tell Portia that you’re up,” I said. “And your partner.”

“You’re my partner,” he said drowsily. I watched his face as he fell back asleep. Once he was snoring quietly, I stepped out into the hall and contacted Jenson over the comm, updating her about Ryan’s condition. And I asked her to tell Lindsey.

“You should get some sleep, Jo,” Jenson said. I looked back into Ryan’s room.

“I might nap here in the chair or something. I’m not sure I want to leave yet.”

“He’s fine,” she reminded me.

“I know.”

“And, you know. Super scent. It’s been almost two days since you’ve changed or anything,” she said tactfully.

“Oh. Right,” I said, blushing a little.

“If you want, I’ll come and sit with him,” she said.

“Okay. When you have a chance.”

A while later, Jenson showed up. Ryan was still asleep, and she settled into the recliner and told me to go. I went back up to my suite and quickly showered and brushed my teeth. I dried my hair and pulled on a pair of jeans and a black top. I forced myself to eat a banana, then headed back to the hospital wing. When I got back to Ryan’s room, he was awake and he and Jenson were talking. I stepped into the room, and his gaze found mine almost immediately.

“Did you eat?” he asked.

“A little. I’m not hungry.”

“You’re tired, Jolene,” he said.

I tilted my head. “Are you trying to hint that you want me to leave?” I said with a small smile.

“No. I want you here if you want to be. But you gotta take care of yourself.”

“Tell you what. You start looking less pale and more like yourself, and I’ll maybe get my appetite back. Okay?”

Jenson sat in her chair, looking between the two of us with a small smile on her face.

“Jenson just told me she had to stop you from killing Render,” he said, a glint of something in his eyes.

“Jenson has a big goddamn mouth,” I said, and she laughed.

“He’s in bad shape. Still hasn’t regained consciousness,” she said, a worried expression crossing her face, but it was gone almost as quickly as it had come. “I think I’ll head out. I have a shift in an hour.” She patted Ryan’s arm, then gave me a quick hug and a sly wink that made me blush for some stupid reason, and then she left.

“Have they been back in to check on you?” I asked as I walked over to the bed.

“Yeah. And I had vegetable broth. It tasted like shit.”

I laughed. “This is going to be hell for you. Hospital food.”

“Ugh.”

“One more reason to focus on resting up so you’ll recover faster. Real food snob food again.”

“And coffee,” he said.

“No needles stuck in you,” I said. I hated the IV, the catheter tube snaking from beneath his blankets. They made him look sick.

“Training with you again,” he said. “We need to do that more often.”

“Especially now that we don’t get to patrol together anymore,” I said.

“You know what else I want to do?” he asked.

I had a few thoughts. I shoved them away.

“What?”

“Go do something normal. Go see a movie or eat out. Visit my grandparents.”

“I wondered if you wanted to call them,” I said.

“Nah. They’d just worry. I’ll see them when I’m recovered.”

I nodded.

“Jolene.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you were here when I woke up this morning.”

I bit the inside of my lip, because that sent my ridiculous mind in all kinds of directions.

“Well. I needed to make sure you were okay.” I glanced at him, and he was watching me.

He took a breath, and then he rested his head back. “What were you reading earlier?”

I went over to the recliner and picked up the paperback resting on the arm and showed it to him. “Historical romance.”

He smiled a little. “Uh huh.”

“What?”

“
Sense and Sensibility
was all Jenson’s idea, huh?” he asked, remembering when he’d found out about one of the movie marathons Jenson and I had.

“Quiet,” I said, blushing a little. “These are good. Mama read a lot of them, and I started to when I was a teenager, too. I mean… it’s fun to read that kind of stuff. But there’s a reason it’s fiction.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not really like that. Fun to read, though.”

He was watching me. “Can you read to me?”

“This?” I asked, holding the book up.

“Yeah.”

“You won’t like it.”

“I might. I’m gonna be bored out of my mind here and I’m getting the feeling that you’re tired of talking.”

“I’m not tired of talking.”

“Maybe. But you’re getting that guarded look you get when you’re about to shut down.”

“Am not,” I grumbled. “Really? You want to listen to this?”

“Yeah.”

“From the beginning?”

“Do you mind?”

I sighed, then shook my head. “No, I don’t mind.”

I pushed the recliner closer to the bed so I could sit near his head. I mean, he’d be able to hear me even if I was all the way across the hospital wing, but I felt like I should be close to him.

Stupid.

“Okay. Stop me if you get bored.”

He nodded, and I turned back to the first page and started reading. It was about a young woman who was down on her luck, in Victorian England, who inherited a castle only to find out that the duke who claimed ownership of it it still lived there and considered it his. And in the process of figuring out how to get the castle, she falls in love with the duke, and, of course, he falls in love with her. I was through three chapters when I head a small snore. I smiled and got up and dimmed the lights near Ryan’s head. I settled back into the recliner, laid it back, and closed my eyes. I didn’t even have time to obsess over any of the things that usually haunt me when I’m trying to sleep before I was out.

I woke at the sound of a shuffle nearby. I opened my eyes to see Sarah checking Ryan’s monitors. He was still snoring lightly. I also noticed that I had a blanket tossed over me. I sat up, and she came over to me.

“Still in good shape. No sign of infection,” she whispered.

“Good. Did you do this?” I asked, holding the blanket up.

She nodded. “He woke up and called for me and asked for it. I hope that was okay.”

I tried to ignore the way my stomach flipped. Ever the partner, trying to watch my back even though he was the one recovering from life-threatening injuries.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“There’s a bottle of water there, too,” she said.

I took a sip and then settled back down under my blanket, watching Ryan’s chest rise and fall until I fell asleep again. When I woke up, the sky was a dusky gray, and something Mama used to tell me about hospitals came back to me. She used to talk about how easy it was for people visiting for a long time to lose track of time completely, that time seemed to pass differently in a hospital, to the point where you couldn’t even gauge how long you’d been there or even what day it was, sometimes.

Now I saw what she meant. I glanced toward the bed. Ryan’s face was turned my way, and he breathed deeply. I let myself look at him for a little while. I never would have imagined, back when I’d met him on my first day at Command, that he’d end up being whatever he was to me. That I’d be where I am now, refusing to leave his side, that he’d be my best friend other than Jenson.

That I’d be falling in love with him.

No
.

Wait, what?

I am not. This is old stupid habits coming back, falling for someone who shows the least bit of attention to me. Neediness. This is all of my and Mama’s mistakes with men starting all over again.

Except that he’s a different kind of man and you damn well know it.

I ignored the thought. And that sight again, of him laying there shooting. That look in his eyes, like nothing was going to stop him, that mix of anger and stubbornness. He liked to talk about what a badass I am. But that had been the single most badass thing I’d ever seen. And now that I knew he was okay, I could appreciate it.

I was very appreciative.

Shit.

I pushed my blanket aside and got up to use the small bathroom in his room and splash some water on my face.

When I came out, his eyes were open and he was watching me.

“Morning,” I said in greeting.

“Morning,” he said. I picked up the cup of water Sarah had left on the table at the side of his bed.

“Do you want to try to drink something? Sarah said you should.”

He nodded. Sarah had left the bed in a mostly upright position, one where he could drink without making a mess, and he took the cup from my hand and took a few sips. I watched him, and then took it from him when he was finished.