DarkestSin (16 page)

He cleared his throat, wondering how best to respond. He
didn’t want to come out and talk about his personal relationship with Xan, but
he
was
on an assignment. “Good. No signs of any shadows or any unwanted
interest from suspicious parties.”

“Good. Good. So you’re staying on her, then?” Brody
hesitated, and Colonel looked up from his coffee, pinning him with a stare.

Fuck.

“Yeah, I’m staying on her. We’ve been gettin’ close.”

A knowing smile kicked up on Colonel’s face briefly before
it went back to an all-business facade. At least it seemed as if he were
letting it go and wouldn’t be pressing for details because Brody refused to let
what was happening between him and Xan be analyzed and ridiculed by a group of
horny ass-wipes.

“Good. Fortunately, we have a bead on that little shit we
think is in Marco’s camp, Dale Adams. Apparently, he laid low for a while after
beatin’ the shit out of you two,” he quirked an eyebrow at Blade and Brody, “but
he’s resurfaced.” He looked at Brody. “I need you on this. He’s staying at a
campground out by Lake Conway. Take whoever you want. But maybe you shouldn’t
take Blade this time since he sucked at watching your back last time.” He
chuckled and shook his head.

“Hey, hey. No fair. We were ambushed.” Blade’s face fell in
a pout, gaining laughs from the other guys, then he looked to Brody for
confirmation. “Isn’t that right, buddy?”

Brody just grunted and looked over at Colonel. “Blade can
come again.”

“Thanks for the love, man.” Blade sat back with a shit-eating
grin.

“It’s not like he does any fuckin’ work around here anyway,”
Brody said.

“Dude! I thought you loved me?” Blade and that damn fake
pout. Brody hid his smile and waved him off, avoiding eye contact with Roc.

When he looked back at Colonel, he didn’t have to fight that
smile anymore. His boss looked seriously distraught about something. Brody
studied him, trying to figure out why he looked the way he did and why he was
trying to cover it up with humor. Maybe it had something to do with regular
work and wasn’t relevant to the assignment they were on.

Then Colonel’s eyes met his, the worried look turning to one
of sadness. And Brody knew he was wrong. A chill slid down his spine at the
realization that Colonel knew something he was reluctant to share.

“You need to make sure you watch the boy too, Brutus.”

Of course he’d keep an eye on her kid. They were both under
their protection, so that was a given, but why was Colonel stating the obvious
and looking at him with such a grim expression? He nodded, hoping his boss
would elaborate.

“I’ve received information that Marco might make a play for
the boy. Apparently he wants him to be his protégé and follow in the family
business.”

Over his dead fucking body. Brody wouldn’t allow that. Scott
was a great kid, loved sports, video games, and just being a kid, and Xan would
be devastated if anything happened to him.

Colonel shook his head, sighing. “If he can’t take him
alive, he’ll kill him. He’s done it before.”

“What do you mean he’s done it before?” The words were out
of Brody’s mouth and he was on his feet before he realized it. Brody knew Marco
was a ruthless man, but something was way off here.

“Sit down, Brutus,” Colonel said sternly. “What I mean by
that is Scott was their second child. Their first, Tess Collins, died during
infancy. I have reason to believe it wasn’t SIDS like the medical examiner
stated in the autopsy.”

Brody sat down, turning over Colonel’s words. He was
implying that Marco killed his own child. How sick! If he’d done that, he’d
definitely do it again. He had to make sure that both Xan and Scott stayed
safe. He couldn’t lose either one of them. How had they become so important to
him in such a short amount of time? He didn’t know.

He didn’t care. The fact was his responsibility of them
exceeded this assignment, and he’d make damn sure they were protected.

“Okay. How’s the minivan rebuild coming?” And just like that
Colonel switched gears to shop talk, but Brody couldn’t follow. He wanted this
meeting over, so he could question Colonel about what he knew.

When the meeting finally came to an end, Brody stood casually
and told Blade to warm up the wrecker so they could check out this Dale Adams
prick on Lake Conway. Then he blocked Colonel’s exit from the meeting room.

“How did you find that out?” he barked, knowing his boss
understood just exactly what he was referring to.

“Stand down, Brutus.” Colonel leaned up against the wall as
if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and rubbed his hands
wearily across his face. “That wasn’t all. And it’s bad,” he mumbled into his
hands and then looked up, facing Brody. “Real bad.”

“What?” He didn’t want to hear this, but he had to know. If
it involved Xan and Scott, he didn’t have a choice. Whatever it was he’d be
able to help them better if he knew everything.

“I’ve been digging into your association with Collins.”

Brody’s blood turned to ice. “You said I was a contract
killer,” he said woodenly.

“Right. Because Collins didn’t do the dirty work himself
unless he had a personal vendetta like when he tried to kill his wife.” Colonel
sighed. “I’m sorry, man, but apparently, you know Marco Collins, and have
flashbacks of his wife, because…he hired
you
to kill their daughter.”

“No way! No fucking way did I kill a baby.” Brody was
screaming in Colonel’s face. His whole body shaking, rejecting the lies his
boss just spilled.

“I know this is hard to hear, I—”

“It’s bullshit!” Brody backed away so he wouldn’t strangle
his boss, and paced like a caged animal, head shaking, fury consuming him.

“You think you were a hired gun with a heart?” Colonel asked
mockingly.

“Shut up.”
He whirled, stomping back toward his boss.
“Shut the fuck up!” He refused to believe it. He would
not
believe it.

“Brutus, I think—”

“I’ve got work to do.” He had to get away from here, away
from the lies. Lies! He slammed the door on his way out, not meeting the stares
of the other guys who no doubt heard his fervent denials. Only they didn’t know
what he was denying.

He made his way to the wrecker, swallowing the bile that
rose in his throat, clenching his fists to stop his hands from shaking. He
climbed into the driver seat of the wrecker—already started by Blade—and threw
it into reverse.

“You okay, man?” Blade asked as Brody peeled onto the
two-lane highway.

Hell no, he wasn’t okay, but Blade wasn’t in the garage when
Brody was yelling at Colonel, so he had no idea something was up. “No,” he
gritted out.

“Did somethin’ happen after I left?” Blade’s eyes narrowed.
“Did you attack Roc? I saw the murder in your eyes earlier. What was
that
about?”

“He led Xan to believe I was fucking Mimi.” His lips said
the words, but his brain was still wholly focused on Colonel’s words, not Roc’s
actions.

Blade guffawed. “He said…that you…and little ole—”

“Knock it off!” Just thinking about Roc pissed Brody off
even more. He needed an outlet for his anger, and if he let Blade work him up,
Brody would pummel Roc as a means to alleviate what Colonel had said. He would
not believe those words. “He’s a fucking liar.”

“Er, I know that. No one believes you bumped uglies with
Mimi.”

“I’m not talking about Roc. I’m talking about Colonel.”

Brody could see Blade studying him from the corner of his
eye. Then he shifted in his seat. “What happened? You’re about to snap, and I’d
like to know if I need to take cover.”

Brody took a deep breath and twisted his neck from side to
side, trying to relieve the tension, trying to rein in his anger.

It wasn’t working.

“You heard him mention in the meeting that Collins and Xan
had another baby that died.” Brody hesitated, finding the strength to finish.
“And he seems to think I’m the one who did the deed.”

“Oh shit,” Blade breathed. “Why would he think that?”

Brody relayed the info Colonel had found out about his past
along with this new little tidbit of
unreliable
information, not liking
the understanding in Blade’s eyes. “You better not believe this shit. I didn’t
kill a baby. I wouldn’t do that.”

They were pulling into the campground of the lake when Blade
found his voice. “I don’t know what to believe. But I know exactly what you
need, and we’ll get it right after we’re through here.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Because Brody was at a total loss.

“Whiskey.”

* * * * *

“I’m not’s a baby killer,” Brody slurred into his fourth,
rather large glass of Jack Daniel’s.

Blade patted him on the back. “I know man. But saying it
ain’t gonna make it go away. We need to get to the bottom of this.”

“How? I can’t fuckin’ think straight right now, and you
enlist…in-insist that I drink this shit.” He downed the last of that fourth
glass, and Blade filled it back up.

“You couldn’t think straight before, man. You need to numb
your brain, so you can think straight tomorrow.”

“I’ll have a damn hangover tomorrow,” he mumbled into his
glass. “It’ll hurt too much to think then.” He took a drink. “Besides, I’m, er,
supposed to be watchin’ over Xan and Scott. Can’t do that when I’m lit.”

“Don’t worry, Brutus. I’ve got your back. I know you’ve been
staking out from the north side of that empty rental next door to Roxie’s
house. I’ll check things out tonight.”

Brody groaned. He was fucked. Really and truly fucked. He
didn’t have the resources to verify what Colonel had found out. No. What
Colonel had
told
him—Brody refused to believe him. Yet somewhere in the
pit of his stomach, he knew the possibility existed that everything was true.
Oh God. How could he face Xan if he was the reason her baby had died? He
finished off his fifth glass, and Blade promptly refilled it.

“Look, what we found earlier at the campground will help.”

“We found a whole lotta nothin’, asshole,” Brody mumbled
into his fifth glass. Or was it his sixth?

“Not true. We found where that prick Adams is staying. Found
his arsenal of weapons and ammo. We know he’s dirty. We just need to find out
more about him. I’ll call Colonel—”

“No.” Brody sat up, glaring at Blade. “I don’t want to talk
to that jerk.”

Blade sighed. “You can’t punish the messenger, Brutus. He’s
your boss, and he’s trying to help keep Xan alive while researching your past
to find what your connection is to her. We’ve all done things we’re not proud
of, man. Look at it this way—you don’t have to remember the shit you pulled in
your badass days.” Something dark flashed across Blade’s normally easygoing
face, but Brody was too fucked up to process it.

“Fine,” he breathed. “We need help, but I just don’t want to
face Colonel right now. Call Gage. He’s been helping me on the side anyway.”

Blade’s brows furrowed. “You’ve been working on this without
me?”

“Don’t get your panties in a wad.” Brody downed the last of
his whiskey. “And get me some water, so I can be ready to talk to Gage.”

Blade got up and made the call while getting Brody a glass
of ice water. After downing half the glass, he rubbed it against his head,
trying to clear it, but all he could think of was Xan. Her beautiful face, light-blue
eyes, hair with streaks of gold, her damn vanilla scent that drove him crazy
whenever he was within a few feet of her. She was a remarkable woman who loved
her son, who probably loved her daughter too.

The daughter he’d killed.

He didn’t want to accept it, but as time moved on and he
slumped deeper into a drunken stupor, one thought kept looping in his mind—if
he wasn’t the one to kill her, then why did he know Xan?

It was the only thing that made sense. He’d known for many
years that he’d been a contract killer. If he hadn’t known this before, he
might’ve been able to deny the accusation, but knowing what he knew, he
couldn’t. And he didn’t have the memories to either confirm or deny what he’d
been told.

His chest ached so bad he could barely breathe. Thinking of
causing Xan that kind of pain tormented him in ways he never thought possible.
His skin crawled, his eyes burned suspiciously. He hadn’t had a reason to cry
since losing his memory. Realizing he was about to create that memory now was damn
near killing him. He cleared his throat, shook his head, and took another swig
of the water he’d been clutching like some kind of lifeline he didn’t deserve.

He was a piece of shit, the worst kind. For him to have been
able to kill an innocent baby, that’d make him a monster. He was no better than
Marco Collins. Thinking otherwise would make him a hypocrite.

What do you think killers do, dumbass? They kill people.
Maybe he justified that before by thinking he was eliminating other criminals.
If he’d killed other killers, drug dealers, human traffickers and similar scum,
he was ridding the world of losers who caused people harm. But thinking he
killed a defenseless baby? Oh God. He jumped up from the chair he’d been
sitting in at Blade’s kitchen table and bolted for the bathroom, dropped to the
floor, and hurled his guts.

“Brutus?”

Brody heard Blade at the door, but couldn’t stop vomiting to
answer. Once he started, the roaring in his ears seemed to purge his brain as
his stomach purged its contents.

“Gage will be here in two minutes. I’ll, er, find you some
crackers or something.”

As Brody retched, the burning in his eyes escalated to
full-on tears. He gasped to catch his breath and sobbed just before puking
again. He continued the cycle of vomiting and crying until his stomach was
empty and he was dry heaving. He’d never be able to face Xan again, and that
knowledge was almost as painful as realizing Colonel was right. He slumped to
the floor, covered his face and tried to take deep breaths to calm down. Under
any other circumstance, he’d feel like such a pussy right now, but all he felt
was revulsion.

He grabbed the counter and hoisted himself up. He washed his
face and finger-brushed his teeth with some of Blade’s toothpaste, refusing to
look at himself in the mirror. Then he pulled the thong from his hair and
retied it before joining Blade.

And Gage, he saw once he entered the living room.

“You okay? Stupid fuckin’ question. Of course you’re not.”
Blade sighed. “I’ve got some crackers and Sprite in the kitchen.”

He turned and Blade and Gage followed him to the table.
Brody didn’t deserve to feel better, but he knew he still had a job to do, so
he picked up the soda and started drinking it.

“I’ve already filled Gage in on what happened.”

“You mean that I’m a baby killer? Good. One less thing to
talk about.” He picked up the crackers and slumped into the nearest chair.

“Brutus, man, we’ll get to the bottom of this,” Gage said,
taking the seat next to him. “I’ve already told Blade everything.”

Brody raised an eyebrow, wondering if everything included
the info he’d found on the undercover agents.

Gage nodded in response. “Yeah, everything. He knows
everything we do.” He locked eyes with Blade. “And it stays between us. Not
that I have a problem with authority. I know I’m the new kid on the block
around here, and I sure as hell don’t want to piss off the boss man, but this
is sensitive shit we’re dealing with. It’s nothing personal.”

“Got it,” Blade said, picking up the beer he’d been nursing
while pouring Jack down Brody’s throat. “So what all do we know?”

“We know that Xan discovered incriminating evidence against
her husband and turned to the FBI. We know that sometime between her seeking
help and getting shot, Collins found out. After that, it’s just speculation. We
think that one of the FBI agents was dirty and ratted her out to Collins.”

“The only suspicious ones at this point are Dave Simmons,
her agent at the time she went into witness protection, and Jeff Coleman, her
contact agent up until the night she was attacked,” Brody said after finishing
his cracker.

“Simmons is retired and living in Prairie County. Coleman is
still on the lam.”

“That still doesn’t make sense that Simmons would place Xan
and Scott in his hometown,” Blade said, leaning forward. “That alone makes him
suspicious.”

“I need to go out there and check it out,” Brody mumbled.
Damn, his head was pounding from the alcohol in his bloodstream and violently
puking.

“No good, Brutus. Your assignment is to stay on Xan and
Scott,” Gage said, shaking his head.

But Brody couldn’t bring himself to see her now. Or Scott.
He knew he had a job to do, but he needed time to deal with this new
revelation.

“You can do it.” Gage slapped Brody’s back, obviously
reading the reluctance on his face. “I still have people working on Coleman’s
location, so we can’t do anything about him tonight. I’ll check out the farm.
You,” he looked over at Blade, “help keep an eye out on the Bradley house
tonight. Brutus is in no condition to do it himself.”

“You got it.”

Oh God, Brody wasn’t ready to see Xan. His stomach churned,
so he grabbed more crackers.

It was going to be a long night.
Better get used to it.
He had a job to do and a woman to avoid. Any attraction he was allowing himself
to embrace before was now off-limits.

She deserved better than the likes of him.

* * * * *

Xan passed by the Sheppard’s Garage wrecker on her way back
home Saturday morning after grocery shopping. She saw the long, blond hair and
sunglasses concealing those deep-blue eyes she knew all too well. Yet, Brody
didn’t even so much as look at her when she waved at him.

Her Viking was avoiding her.

She had half a mind to whip this old Pinto around and follow
him, demand some answers. They were not an item, but they’d been intimate, and
now he was just brushing her off? That didn’t make sense.

Unless Brody really was part of the FBI team watching over
her, and Jack tipped him off about her suspicions regarding him. Wouldn’t that
just suck? It wasn’t as if Jack owed her any loyalty. He was on the job, and if
Brody was tasked with watching over her, then he was on the job too. If she was
both of their assignment, then they had an obligation to share notes.

Oh Jesus, she hoped those notes didn’t include how she liked
to scream when Brody was pounding away inside her. She felt her face flush at
the thought of him sitting around, talking about the intimate details of their
lives.

But even if Brody was an agent—and that was a big if—he was
also a man. She’d already deduced that if he stuck to her like glue because she
was a job, he wasn’t wearing his FBI hat in the sack. That was purely the man,
not the agent, or hired help of her agent, whatever the case may be. But she’d
like to know.

Boy, would she like to know.

And maybe he wasn’t sticking to her like glue now because he
didn’t have anything to do with her case. Maybe he’d just gotten his fill of
her. Ugh, the man was infuriating.

Resisting the urge to follow, she turned down her street and
parked her car. She carried in and put away the frozen foods first, then came
back out for the canned goods. She noticed Roxie supervising Chad putting a
spare tire on her car.