DEADLY DECISIONS III: The End (27 page)

Two weeks later

Keisha wasn’t sure if she had lost
Li’l
Boo
or not. After
merely bumping into him at the rash of funerals she had been escorted to by Big Pope Dog and Gutty, and the brief phone calls he made to her each day to check on her
,
the two had not spent any
time together since he had been released from jail on the grounds of
self-defense
.

“
I need time to clear my head and grieve the
loss
of my bother C
K
, Kesh
. T
his is really hard for me,
”
Li’l
Boo told Keisha the night he was released from custody.

“
You’ve been there for me though everything
,
Li’l
Boo
. J
ust please
,
for once
,
let me be there for you
.”
Keisha tried to hold
Li’l
Boo
,
but he pulled away from her.

“
I have to do this alon
e,
Li’l
M
ama. I’ll be in contact,”
Li’l
Boo told her before he left the suite
after
picking up a few of his valuable items.

It was hard for Keisha to see him walk
away from her and it was then that Keisha realized that Li
’
l Boo
held her at fault
her for his best friend
’
s death. The magnitude of his and C
K’s
relationship was like that of her friendship with Poo Baby. Keisha tried to understand and give
Li’l
Boo his space, but it was hurting her so deeply. A phone call from Big Pope Dog interrupted her thoughts.

“I’m on my way up with a note from Carter,” he told Keisha. “Let your bodyguard know I’m coming up to before I mix his buff ass up in the hallway, if he think he gon’ call himself searching me again.”

Keisha chuckled
.
“I’ll be at the door when
you
come up.”
Li’l
Boo
had given
the guard strict orders and he stuck to them.

When Bog Pope Dog made it up to her room
,
he passed Keisha a sealed envelope with just her name written on it. Keisha looked at the note oddly. “How did you get this? No address or nothing is on it.”

“It came with the package. He delivered those keys, so I’m assuming that means everything is all good and we
can
go according to plan. I just wanted you to read the note before we move further to make sure blood ain’t with the funny business.”

Curious as to what Carter was up to
,
Keisha ripped the envelope open. It read:
I know it wasn’t you. Business as planned. You still have my word. Take care
,
Dollface, I’ll talk to you soon.”

S
incerely,

Carter

Keisha smiled from the inside out, reli
e
ved
.
“It
’
s over, my nigga, Big Pope Dog!” Keisha showed Big Pope Dog the note and then hugged him happily. “Carter knows that I wasn’t behind the hit on him and his daughter. He said that I have his word.”

Big Pope Dog grinned
,
nodding just as happ
il
y. “Good. Now I want you to let your hair down and relax. No
,
correction,” he clarified
.
“I want you to get your hair done and bring my fly
-
ass homegirl back. That on
-
the
-
run ponytail isn’t becoming of you,” Big Pope Dog teased.

Keisha laughed. “My ponytail i
s
right, my nigga, slick as muthafucking fish grease
! B
ut don’t trip, Piru
,
the bitch is back!”
s
he exclaimed.

Dressed like the boss, hair and nails done, Keisha and Niya hit Rodeo Drive for a quick shopping spree and lunch before Niya headed back to graduate school. It was a warm sunny day out in Cali and it couldn’t have been a more perfect day out with her friend and son. As Keisha’s bodyguard trailed a few feet behind, two paparazzi snapped shots of them.

“We aren’t celebrities!” Keisha swatted them off until they finally got the hint and left them alone.

Keisha pushed her son in his stroller, unable to disguise the pain she felt inside from missing Li’l Boo. He still called her throughout the day to check on her, but she longed to be with him. The day before CK’s funeral, he called and told Keisha it was probably best that she didn’t attend. When Keisha asked him why, a small argument ensued between the two.

“Just say it, Li’l Boo! You blame me for CK’s murder.”

“Li’l Mama,” Li’l Boo said calmly. “CK’s wife asked that you didn’t attend,” he sighed.

Keisha hated that her life impacted so many others people’s lives so violently. After a few moments of silence, Keisha spoke. “So what about us, Li’l Boo? You said you needed space and time to grieve. I’ve given you that, but now it feels like you’re permanently trying to put distance between us. If that’s so, let me know, Li’l Boo. I don’t want to assume anything anymore. So what?”

“We ride or die, Li’l Mama. You’re alright, our daughter is good, you got your son. I just need to ride solo for a little while.”

“Yeah,” Keisha interrupted. “I know exactly what that means. We’re riding solo.” She forced her tears back. She knew that Li’l Boo was slowly breaking things off with her. “Goodbye, Li’l Boo.”

That was the last conversation that Keisha had with Li’l Boo almost a week ago. She missed holding, hugging, and kissing him. She missed waking up to see his face each morning and the way he took care of her. She was certain that they were a for sure thing, but again her heart had lied to her.

“Kesh,” Niya called, snapping Keisha out of her spaced out
trance
. “What’s wrong, girl? Are you alright?”

Keisha stopped in her tracks. She put her head down and shook it. Trying to collect herself before she burst into tears, Keisha looked at Niya and said, “You’d think I’d be used to all this heartbreak shit by now. But it hurts so fucking bad.”

Niya hugged Keisha. She hoped getting Keisha out of the hotel would cheer her up. “Let’s sit down and talk about it, Kesh. I’m still a good set of ears.”

Keisha shook her head again. “I don’t wanna talk about it. I just want the pain to hurry up and go away.” Keisha grabbed the bottle of Xanax out of her purse.

Niya grabbed them out of her hand and read the label on them. “Kesh, you can’t be walking around like a zombie! These pills are addictive. Let’s just sit down and talk about it.”

Keisha snatched the bottle of pills back from Niya. “You’re about to be a doctor, but you’re not mine. These were prescribed to me,” Keisha said before taking two of them.

“What else are you taking, Kesh? And don’t think I don’t know -”

“I haven’t been snorting no fucking powder, mama!” Keisha snapped. “I fucking hate that y’all treat me like some I irresponsible-ass kid. Piru, I’m tired of that shit! I have kids. I know what I need to be doing and what I have to do.”

Embarrassed at the scene that Keisha was causing, Niya asked her to calm down. “I’m sorry, boo, you’re right. I’m just concerned for you, that’s all. I love you.”

“Niya, I’m taking these pills because my anxiety has shot through the fucking roof. It’s hard to sleep at night being a bitch like me. I live every day with a fucked up-ass conscience. All the lives lost behind me…my cousin Yonna, rest in peace. Niya, her kids don’t have her no more because of me,” Keisha pounded her chest. “And now I’ve lost the last nigga in the world that still loved me despite it all. He understood me. He seen the good that nobody else seems to remember or acknowledge about me, and I’m broken into pieces. Fuck!” Tears began to rush from beneath her designer sunglasses.

Niya led Keisha to a nearby bench. “Let it all out, sis.”

Keisha hugged Niya. “I know you love me.” She removed her sunglasses to wipe the tears from her eyes. “I’m moving to Atlanta, Niy, so I can rebuild with my daughter.” She did feel better having gotten it all out. “I’ve been waiting for Li’l Boo, hoping that we’d go together as planned, but I’m waiting on nothing.” She paused. “But I need you to go somewhere with me tomorrow before I get out of here.”

“Where, Kesh? I’ll roll with you.”

“To see Cameron.”

Niya was shocked. “To see Cameron? After all he’s done, Kesh?”

Keisha nodded her head yes. “I have some things I have to say to him face to face and I also want to give him a chance to say goodbye to his son.”

Niya hunched her shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll go with you, but it don’t mean I like the nigga.”

____________

Early the next morning, sitting in the county jail waiting with her baby, Niya, and Poo Baby, Keisha felt confused. Although she felt a dire need to visit Cameron, she didn’t have a clue as to what she’d actually say to him when she saw him or even if she had even made the right decision going to see him in the first place.

What the fuck I’ma say to him?
Keisha thought, feeding her son in her arms. When her name was called, Keisha stood, full of uncertainty. She looked at her friends, started toward the deputies, and presented her driver’s license. After being searched, she walked through a metal detector and then entered the visiting room, where she was told which booth Cameron would be brought out to.

Keisha’s heart rate increased to the point that she thought she’d suffer a massive anxiety attack. Keisha sat and anxiously awaited Cameron.
Maybe I should leave. I don’t know what the fuck to say. Why am I even here?
Keisha took a deep breath, secured her purse on her shoulder, and was prepared to stand up and leave when Cameron entered the visiting room. The look in his eyes upon seeing Keisha made her happy that the walls and Plexiglas stood between them.

I shouldn’t have come,
Keisha thought as she stared Cameron in his monstrous eyes. He looked like hell. Standing and staring at Keisha, Cameron was obviously fuming at the sight of her.

Fuck this I’m out!
Keisha returned a similar mean mug as she stood up to leave.

Cameron sat down, picked up the phone, and mouthed for Keisha to sit down.

Keisha took a seat and picked up the phone. Keisha broke the silence.

“I came here to say goodbye. I’m leaving Cali for good.” Keisha paused. “There is so much that I want to say to you, but I truly don’t know where to start.” Keisha turned their son to face him. “I wanted you to see our son before I left. I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve caused you and your family. But I hate you for being so stupid.” Tears filled her eyes. “You had it all: a wife, beautiful kids, a thriving business, a new home, cars, money, and everything you ever wanted, Cam. Why? I just don’t understand. You tried to kill Li’l Boo, Kessia’s father, and CK didn’t deserve to die. His kids will go without their father and now yours will too. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. Why?” Everything that her heart felt poured out.

Looking at Keisha speak to him caused the hate and hostility that he had grown toward her to escape his mouth. Angrily, Cameron replied, “What happened was I gave a fuck about you so much that I fucked myself. Now I gotta live the rest of my days locked up while you live happily ever after with that fuck nigga, Li’l Boo. Fuck his dead slob homie CK’s life, his wife, and his muthafucking kids! And you’re right, bitch! I shouldn’t be here. I should be at home with my wife and kids and yo’ ass should be laid up dead some muthafuckin’ where! Don’t ever come back to see me again or contact me. I hate you, Keisha!” Cameron spit at the Plexiglas, staring Keisha evilly in the eyes. “And that nigga Li’l Boo, cuh, is a dead man!” Cameron ranted in rage as the guards rushed in the inmate visiting area and dragged him out.

The reaction from his words struck Keisha into full-fledged anger. “No, fuck you, Cameron! You did this to yourself! Piru, I never involved you in my world…NEVER! You involved yourself, and then purposely tried to fuck mines off when you realized that I had moved on too!” Keisha stood, banging on the Plexiglas and looking at Cameron, yelling at the top of her lungs, making sure Cameron not only saw but heard her
. “You a hoe for wishing death on your child’s mother! Fuck you, nigga!”

Keisha had all of the visitors’ attention as the guards began to roughly escort her out of the visitors’ area. “Fuck that nigga, Piru, fuck Cam, fuck that nigga!” Keisha continued to spit. Her son hanging out of her arms and crying brought her out of her rage. She fixed him in her arms and immediately calmed down, rocking and apologizing to her son. She had made a fool of herself and felt ashamed for not handling the situation better
.
I always let my heart fuck me. I should have followed my gut and never came down here!
After collecting herself, Keisha walked out of the visiting area to the waiting area where her friends were in the midst of a stare down with Cameron’s sister Tonya and cousin Deondra.

Keisha sighed.
These bitches gon’ make me go back to prison today
. Keisha stepped like a boss, making her presence be known. Clearing her throat, she wore a mean mug on her face, staring Cameron’s loved ones down. Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to resist a fade, Keisha made her mind up that if Deondra flinched, she was going to politely hand her son to Niya and was she was going to beat a bitch to the white meat. She knew Tonya didn’t want any problems with her.