Denial (31 page)

After a moment, Amy placed her hand on Celeste’s elbow. Celeste watched uncertainty show in Amy’s eyes. She caught her bottom lip and bit it lightly.

Smiling reassuringly, Celeste took Amy’s arm and folded it through hers.

“Do you think I should encourage her?” Amy asked.

Celeste walked on, in contemplation. “I think you should give Maggie whatever support she asks for.”

Amy looked at Celeste then nodding, said, “Maybe you’re right.”

Celeste smiled at her. “Trust her, Amy.”

Amy smiled back. “Okay.”

Holding Amy’s arm tightly, Celeste headed for a quiet bay she knew. When they arrived, she rested against sheltered rocks and pulled Amy to her. Sliding down the rock, she wrapped her arms around Amy. They settled to watch the herons and egrets stalk the beach.

“I love this place,” Amy said. “This is a magical place to watch the world go by.” She looked over her shoulder and, eyes glowing, said, “It’s especially beautiful today.”

Celeste nodded. Amy smiled then snuggled in.

Hidden by the rock, they watched a dog and its owner run past. Amy whispered, “Do you know, that I didn’t know the inside joke about Bud?” Wide-eyed, she turned her head to look at Celeste. “Nobody told me that the family dog was a ‘talker.’”

Celeste snuggled her head into Amy’s neck and buried her laughter.

“Just after I moved here I went for a walk along the beach at your folks, and he tagged along. I didn’t know that, when he wanted to play, he would show me by gnashing his teeth and growling.” Amy tried pushing Celeste out of her neck. “Most dogs just drop the ball and wag their tails.”

Laughing, Celeste buried her head further into Amy’s neck.

“
And
,” Amy said as she pushed Celeste gently from the crook of her neck. “Nobody told me,” she bracketed her fingers, “that the more excited he got, the louder he ‘talked,’ and the more teeth he displayed.” She chuckled. “So, when he dropped the ball in front of me and I picked it up to throw it, he started gnashing his teeth like a deranged loony!”

Celeste laughed so hard her body was shaking and she had tears in her eyes.

Amy laughed. “I didn’t know that it was his act. I didn’t know that he was saying, ‘Yeah, yeah, lady. C’mon, hurry up and throw the ball.’ Instead, I translated it as ‘move and I’ll kill you.’ So, I didn’t move.” She grabbed Celeste’s hand and brought it close to her heart. “I thought my heart might beat out of my chest. I stood frozen with my arm in the air for ages until Bud got fed up and wandered off.”

Eventually, controlling her laugher, Celeste cupped Amy’s cheek. “I can’t believe that nobody told you.” She tenderly kissed one cheek, then the other, before staring deeply into her eyes. “God, I adore you.”

Chapter 38

That evening Celeste insisted on cooking for Amy. This was a pleasure often denied them. Their times together tended to be too short, and only sometimes would Amy indulge Celeste and allow her to cook for her.

“Sit,” Celeste said when Amy entered the kitchen. She pointed to a kitchen stool at the breakfast bar next to where she was cooking. She poured a glass of red wine. “I’m cooking for you tonight,” she told Amy, handing her a glass.

“Don’t you want me to help?”

Celeste smiled. “I want you to sit there and talk to me.”

“Just talk?” Amy asked, seductively “Not touch?”

Celeste lifted her eyebrows. “For now.”

Amy stuck out her bottom lip.

“Put that away,” Celeste said, eyes dancing. “Don’t you want to know what’s cooking?”

“Yes,” Amy replied, then sipped her wine.

“Tonight, I’m going to whip up an extravaganza of risotto and nuggets of langoustine tails, followed by a to-die-for chocolate dessert.”

Amy’s eyes opened wide. “I don’t have anything like that here.”

“I know,” Celeste replied, opening the fridge. “I brought the stuff I need with me.”

“Oh,” Amy responded. A look of pleasure crossed her face as she sipped her wine. “I wish I could cook,” she said, watching Celeste. “I can barely boil an egg.” She sucked on her bottom lip for a moment. “Maybe, I should stop being a takeaway queen and sign up for a cookery class.”

“Maybe,” Celeste replied as she stirred the risotto. “Doesn’t Maggie do most of the cooking?”

“Yeah, but she’s not much better than me.” Amy smiled. “And fortunately, the kids don’t have much taste, so they don’t notice how bad our cooking is.” She laughed. “We don’t have to force feed them just yet.”

“I thought Josh cooked?”

“He does, but he’s not much better than me either. The chicken he cooked the other night was so tough, it asked me if I wanted to fight.”

Celeste laughed. “You might not be able to cook, but you are one helluva artist.” She looked at Amy. “How’s the painting coming along?”

Amy swallowed a mouthful of wine, then licking her lips put the glass down. “Well,” she replied, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I bought a six-foot canvas.”

“Why?” Celeste asked, as she focused on the risotto she was stirring.

“Because, I want to give you something as a parting—”

Celeste looked up sharply, and not wanting to hear it said, “Don’t.” Her eyes pleaded. “Please, not tonight.”

Amy looked at the brunette then nodded. She picked up her glass and twirled the wine for a while. “I got it because I want to paint you naked.”

Celeste stopped stirring the risotto. “You’re joking?”

Amy shook her head and pointed at the risotto. “Keep stirring.”

“I’m flattered,” Celeste said as she stirred. “But really?” She stopped stirring and stared at Amy in disbelief. “Are you crazy?”

“Of course not,” Amy replied then laughed.

“Don’t you think that it would be seriously wrong for you to have a painting of me draped over something,” she looked down at herself, “naked?”

“The bed,” Amy responded with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“What?” Celeste asked, in confusion.

“I want to paint you buck naked, stretched out on the bed.” The tip of Amy’s tongue slid out and touched her top lip. “I’d paint you lying there, with no inhibition, disheveled from our lovemaking, heavy-eyed, full-breasted…sated.”

Celeste stared at Amy then blew out air before shaking her top, allowing some cold air to circulate.

Amy laughed. “Feeling the heat?”

“Yes,” Celeste replied. Walking around the breakfast bar, she took Amy in her arms, and kissed her passionately.

“Isn’t risotto tricky to cook?” Amy mumbled against Celeste’s lips.

“Mmmm,” Celeste answered, letting Amy go.

Celeste returned to the stove and stirred the risotto before throwing in the langoustines. “I love the idea of you painting me.” She looked at Amy as she worked. “But it’s dangerous.”

“I know. But, I want to.” Amy looked at Celeste for a few moments. “You’re a painter’s dream, you know. You’re a beautiful, sassy, sexy Goddess.”

Celeste stared at Amy, then looked at her wineglass. “It’s only one glass you’ve had so far, right?”

Amy laughed and held up her glass. “So far.” Sipping her wine, she gave Celeste a sultry look. “Let’s play our game,” she said. “I thought up some more things I like.”

“More?” Celeste’s lips twitched. “Okay.”

“You first.”

Celeste looked around then held up the wooden spoon. “I like kitchen utensils.”

“That’s lame, Celeste!”

Celeste laughed. “I know, but I’m not in the zone yet.” She eyed Amy playfully. “Anyway, just go with the flow.”

“Okay,” Amy replied, wiggling her eyebrows.

Celeste smiled. “I like…uhmmm…sleeping out, under the stars, in the desert, in a sleeping bag, with the wind howling around me.”

Amy gave Celeste a cheeky grin. “I like sunrises, then I like to sleep late.”

“I like sun downs,” Celeste responded, grinning. “I like seeing the sun set over different horizons.”

“Hmmm,” Amy replied. Over the lip of her wineglass she eyed Celeste. Sipping some wine, she put the glass down and circled the rim with her finger. “On your own, Ms. Cameron?”

Their eyes locking, Celeste replied as she stirred. “Maybe.”

Amy smiled, then caught her bottom lip and thought for a moment. “I like making hot drinks on cold nights.”

“I like taking cold swims on hot nights.”

Amy picked up her glass. “On your own Ms. Cameron?”

“Maybe,” Celeste responded, then smiled fully.

Amy eyed Celeste for a moment, then raising her eyebrows said provocatively, “I like making love with a brunette who has a body to die for.”

Surprised, Celeste sucked in air and held it for a moment. “Isn’t it my mind you’re supposed to adore?” she asked eventually.

Amy smiled seductively.
 

“Jeez, Amy, and here I was thinking that all this time it was my conversation that titillated you.”

Amy reached for her.

Celeste pulled away and growled playfully. “Amy, if you want to eat tonight, you’d better stop teasing me, or I’ll switch this off and we’ll finish,” she pointed to the door, “in bed.”

Sitting back, Amy put her hand to her mouth and pretended to zip it. She picked up her wineglass. “Not another word.”

Celeste lifted the spoon to Amy’s mouth. “Taste.”

Amy’s eyes widened with pleasure as she chewed. “Mmmm. It’s delicious.”

“Let’s eat,” Celeste said. She switched off the stove and served up their meal.

“I’m starved,” Amy said as they sat at the kitchen table. She picked up her fork and tucked into her dish.

Celeste sat next to Amy, and not wanting the evening to end, closed her eyes and tried to savor the moment.

Amy slowly stopped chewing. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Celeste replied, opening her eyes.

“Then eat.” Amy picked up her glass and took a mouthful of wine.

Celeste nodded. Shaking out her napkin she dropped it on her lap.

“This is amazing,” Amy said. “You really are a fabulous cook.”

Enjoying the compliment, Celeste smiled. “Thank you.” She picked up her fork and began to eat.

“I dug out my guitar, just like you asked,” Amy said.

Celeste smiled. “Would you play it for me tonight?”

“Hmmm,” Amy said as she chewed. She swallowed then asked mischievously, “What do I get in return?”

Celeste looked at her challengingly. “I might reciprocate and play violin for you next time at mom and dad’s.”

“What?” Amy said, holding her fork midway to her mouth. “You play violin?”

Chewing, Celeste nodded.

“God, I can’t believe you sometimes,” Amy said, lowering the fork. “Why haven’t you told me?” she asked. “I can’t believe that in all the discussions we’ve had about music you’ve never mentioned to me once that you play violin.”

“Amy,” Celeste said with a note of exasperation. “I’ve never mentioned it because, until recently, I hadn’t played since high school. Anyway, it all came down to Sophie digging the violins we played as kids out of the attic.”

“Oh,” Amy replied. “So, it was Sophie who encouraged you then?”

“Yes,” Celeste said, smiling. “But, now I’m beginning to regret it because my folks want us to play whenever I drop by.”

Amy laughed. “Sophie’s trying to get on their good side?”

“Hmmm,” Celeste replied as she chewed her food. “She’s hoping that all her late night exploits will be forgiven.”

“Why did you marry Nick?”

Surprised at the change of subject, Celeste paused then put her fork down and wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I didn’t know you were curious about that.”

“You hold back a lot,” Amy replied, picking up her wineglass.

Celeste looked at her. “Not when I’m with you.”

“But, there are things that you never discuss.”

“Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell you.”

Amy swirled the wine in her glass for a while.

Celeste encouraged, “Amy, what do you want to know?”

“I’d like to know things like, why you got married,” Amy replied. “And why you decided to come home now.” She looked at Celeste. “I’ve been trying hard not to ask you these questions but,” her eyes widened, “I can’t help it, I want to know everything.” She studied her glass. “I want to know everything about you.”

Celeste sighed inwardly. She was aware that over the last few months Amy had tried to hold a part of her back, mostly by not exploring Celeste’s personal life too deeply. Although their discussions were extensive, Celeste had gone with the flow, never forcing anything, always allowing the direction of their conversations to shape naturally.

Celeste looked at Amy. How could she tell her that she didn’t often let people in? How could she even begin to explain that every moment, of every day, she wanted her, craved her, in fact? How could she tell Amy the core things about why she married, that she chose to return now because she was hoping to adopt, without first telling her the thing she knew Amy didn’t want to hear, that she loved her.

Amy looked at her. “Why did you marry?”

“I married Nick because I fell in love with him,” Celeste answered, looking at Amy. “Or, I thought I was in love with him.” She sipped her wine. “When I was a teenager, I was painfully shy.”

“Yes, Josh said as much.” Amy nodded. “And I can see it sometimes.”

“Nick somehow understood that, and he helped me overcome it, to some degree. His personality was big enough for the two of us.” Celeste swirled the wine in her glass. “You would have liked him. He was easy company, full of fun, and I didn’t have to try too hard when I was around him.”