Desire (Montana Dreams Book 3) (8 page)

Cadence shifted, her head angling toward him, and remained quiet.

He closed the door behind him and stepped close to the bed. “Scoot over.”

The stillness in her demeanor—no snappy comeback, no jolting out of bed, and no reaction whatsoever from his intrusion—ripped at his heart. If only he was there
to be
with her and not as a protective shield.

She did as he asked, giving her back to him as she lay at the edge of the bed. Her hair fanned over the pillow and silk pajamas covered her shoulders. He realized tonight was her first night in his sister’s house since he’d arrived and wondered if the other nights were spent in some man’s arms.

Groaning off the annoyance, he slipped between the covers, folded his hands behind his head, and stared at the ceiling with a raging hard-on. The kind only Cadence gave him. Soft whimpers had him forgetting his turmoil and twisting to her.

“Hey.” He propped his elbow on the mattress, resting his head in his hand. When she didn’t move away from him, from the heat radiating between them, he slid closer and placed a hand on her hip. “Sweetheart, we’ll get through this.”

When she shifted an inch backwards, his cue that she would accept him holding her, he dropped his hand to her stomach and relaxed his head on her pillow. Her breathing grew steady and deep as if she’d fallen asleep, and he peeked at her parted lips and chest rising in a comfortable slumber. His erection had softened with her cries; now it came back full strength. His balls ached. He put space between her butt and him, before his body demanded who was boss, and summoned sleep.

Hours went by while he watched the clock on the nightstand beside her; a tablet laid beside it. Several times, he thought about reaching over and reading one of her digital books, but he didn’t want to disturb her or break contact. He hadn’t gotten to hold her like this since…well, never.

“Why can’t I say it?” Cadence muttered as the early morning sun shone through the window. “Why can’t I say I love you? What’s wrong with me?”

The conversation was a one-woman show. She probably figured he was asleep, that is if she was even aware that she had spoken aloud. If she kept going down the path that everything she did turned out badly, she’d never return to the dynamic woman she once was. “Don’t mean to ease drop—”

She gasped and her body went rigid. Yeah, she hadn’t meant to relay her thoughts. “You’re not broken.” He pressed his chest into her back to whisper next to her ear. “You’re stuck in between how you dealt with your parents’ problems and processing what happened as a result of the accident.” Man, how he hated that she thought hanging around a variety of men would lessen her troubles. “For some reason, you’re scared to let go of old habits. You use the men as a security blanket.” He wouldn’t go into his theory as to why he believed she was scared. His gut instinct said her frustrations deepened the night they were together; yet, he didn’t believe he fell into the “used” category.

She remained quiet, and he went further. “The accident, losing the baby—it opened your eyes to your reckless behavior. You didn’t cope and did what you’ve always done, buried your emotions by spending time with guys that you feel nothing for.”

“I don’t…” She let out a long, shaky breath.

She didn’t disagree that she hid from her feelings; a step in the right direction. She needed to come to terms with her behavior on her own and not by them arguing. He planted the seed. It was up to her to give credence to what he said and stop the downward spiral to move forward. “I’m here.” To emphasize his point, he slid his other arm between her and the mattress and squeezed her to his chest. His erection enjoyed the contact.

“I want you.” Her morning voice deepened to a sexy purr as she rolled over to face him

The moment was too tempting to pass up. He pressed his mouth to hers and slid his lips over her soft ones, caressing. Flushed against his body, she clutched onto his back and tilted her head to give him more access. He slipped his tongue inside and stroked until she moaned. He wanted more, so much more, but they needed space from their overheated bodies for him to know her endgame. For him to know that she wanted
him
not an avenue to bury her grief.

“I want you so badly I’m about to bust, but we can’t be together until you’re happy with yourself. Others can’t do it for you. If you’re not content with yourself then you won’t be happy with anyone.”

“You’re wrong.” She rolled onto her side and pressed her butt into his erection.
The minx!

“About what? Having a healthy relationship? If we try to have one now, it might backfire. That’s not something I’m willing to take a chance on.”

“Bradley,” she eyed him over her shoulder. “What if I can’t make me happy?”

“You will.” He kissed her cheek. “Forgive yourself.”

“Have you? Have you forgiven me?” His hand, covering her heart, stopped rising. Obviously nervous for what he might say, she held her breath.

“Forgiving would imply I thought you did something wrong.” Thankfully, his words came out strong, sure, and confident, leaving no room for her to doubt what he said. “I don’t. Life dealt us a bad hand. There’s plenty of time for a child.” The words slipped out without thought. He glanced at her tablet and decided to try a different tact of explaining, one she should understand. “Life is like chapters, scenes. New things come into it that changes our views, the things we do, the people we want in our life. Our childhood was one, being a college student another. Now, it’s time to decide what you want for your future. In each chapter of life, you have the wonderful opportunity to recreate yourself. Take all the positive and negative stuff you’ve learned and apply it to your future.”

“Poetic,” she sighed, her breathing returning as snuggled into him further. “Let’s not get out of bed. Let’s just stay here.”

“A wonderful idea but I have work to do. Your horse awaits.”

“Before you go, there’s something you must know.” He stilled and waited for the next bomb. “There haven’t been any other men.” Why would she deny the obvious? “I slept with other men to stop the nightmares.”

“You’re not making sense.” Damn, he didn’t want to talk about her flings.

“I slept with them.” She paused and pressed her teeth into her bottom lip. “That’s not exactly right. There was no sleeping.”

“Cadence! Stop! I don’t want to hear what you did.”

“Bradley, I’m not saying this right. Please,” she grabbed his arm and stopped him from moving. “I didn’t sleep because I warded off their advances. It was wrong and I know it. I became a tease, but I had to do something to occupy my mind. I had to stop the nightmares!”

The sensation of a cinder block lifting off him eased the pressure in his chest. She curled into him more, and held onto his hands, securing his arms around her. “Last night was the first night I slept soundly since I made you leave.” She kissed the top of his hand. “You affected me more than I knew that I couldn’t be with anyone else.”

Oh, hell! Her words stole his breath, and touched him, giving him unbelievable hope. He pressed his lips to her neck. Thor would have to wait a little while longer. Snuggling with this incredible woman came first.

****

Days later, Cadence still hid in her room. Every night Bradley stayed with her and she’d curl into him and sleep soundly. During the day, Trina hung out with her. One way or another, they hoped she’d relax and let life just happen. She’d gone too far without an intervention. Once someone hit a downward spiral, climbing out sometimes took a while. Man, he hoped that wasn’t the case.

Setting his cowboy hat on his head, he kissed his sister’s cheek, winked at Autumn carrying her ferret into the house, and trotted down the steps into the bright warm sun. In the middle of March, the air had warmed a few degrees, yet not enough to go coatless.

Trina’s soon-to-be sister-in-law believed in Hopper therapy; anyone would cheer up in his presence. “It worked for Travis,” she’d teased the first day she brought her pet to visit Cadence. Hopper stayed there for a few hours, doing his famous sidestepping war dance, while Autumn visited Trina.

“Hey buddy,” Bradley called to Thor as he gripped the top board of the round pen.

Thor snorted and shook his head, yet he didn’t trot over. By now, a green horse should be further along. With his concentration on Cadence, he’d didn’t have the energy to give Thor more attention. Jace tried to get close to the stallion, but he didn’t have the same knack with animals that he did with manual labor.

“Hey, man,” Jace said, as he stopped unloading small hay bales from the back of Matt’s truck and pushed up the brim of his tan cowboy hat with a gloved finger. The bruise on his face from the brawl had turned an even darker bluish-purple. The cowboy was lucky a pipe hadn’t connected with his cheek. “How is she?”

The same conversation they had every morning since the bar scene. Jace proved to possess more integrity than Bradley originally assumed. A hard worker, he treated everyone with respect. He didn’t come onto the customers or any of the women working or living at Divine, although the guy left a puddle of drooling women in his wake. “Same.” Which brought up a nagging question, “Who is Eagle?” From the expression and tone the bartender at Talon’s Point used, the man had experience with getting people in line.

“Rumor has it, he’s retired Special Forces.”

“Really? Then why work at that dive?”

“Like I said,” Jace grunted as he grasped a hay bale and tossed it just inside the barn, “it’s a rumor.”

“Some things are better left unknown.” Garth approached from behind and studied Bradley. Around horses all his life, he still didn’t have a cowboy swagger like this guy. “You don’t look any worse,” Garth said. “After three days, your battle scars should be showing.”

Bradley had them on his back, stomach, and leg. The cut on his face, right at the hairline, hadn’t needed stitches as he thought. Hell, his face looked like a punching bag. “Have you checked out my face?”

“No man. You’re not my type.” Garth chuckled and focused on Jace. “Let’s go, we got a thing.”

“All right.” In a slick couple of moves, Jace scaled the fence and followed Garth, both looking much more dangerous than any other cowboys he’d met. If Bradley chanced a guess, he’d bet Eagle wasn’t the only retired Special Forces around here. So, why were they in Bluebird Valley hanging out at Talon’s Point and working at Divine?

The men drove slowly out of the lot. As they hit the main road, wheels squealed. Bradley shook his head. Enigmas, and they’d probably stay that way, since he seriously doubted they’d reveal their business.

Time to get training. With a couple deep breaths, he shoved away the turmoil of Cadence and relaxed his body. “Hey, big guy.” He kept his voice soft, as he ducked between the rails toward Thor. With nothing in his hands, he meandered toward him.

With an eye on Bradley, Thor circled him half trotting, his legs kicking up in almost a prance. Bradley stilled, waiting for the horse to calm. Unlike the day he met the beautiful stallion, Thor’s nostrils didn’t flare. A good sign. He stopped on the far end of the ring, an ear pointing at Bradley. After being around him all this time, he was finally earning some trust.

Thor shook his head and trotted in the opposite direction on the other side of Bradley, toward the fence closest to the house, and neighed.
Cadence
. Clothed in jeans, boots, a lightweight jacket, and her hair tied in a ponytail at the top of her head, she walked toward the pen, looking every bit the angel.

“Hey there,” she cooed and slowly stepped toward the fence. Thor lifted his head, stepped back as her hand reached out to touch his muzzle. “I’ve missed you.” Her voice stayed low, a calming tone to it. A tone he hadn’t heard her use since he arrived. The horse moved forward and she stroked the bridge of his nose.

Hidden tension in his shoulders released as a tingling warmth shot goosebumps over his skin. He backed up until he hit the side of the barn and swiped the moisture off his face.
The first sign of her coming back to the person she once was
. The horse snorted, drawing Bradley’s attention.

Cadence leaned over the fence, held his head in both hands, and kissed his nose.
When did she earn the stallion’s trust?

Movement from the path’s entrance to the training ring caught his attention. Trina stood there, a hand on her large stomach, the other one covering her mouth. No doubt, his sister had tears running down her face. Their friend was back! He sucked a deep breath in, and released it to remove the tightness in his chest to breathe. Cadence didn’t need to see him or Trina crying like babies. Bradley wasn’t against the act, just didn’t like it. He’d done it enough when his two favorite women were in the accident, and he’d feared he wouldn’t get either of them back.

Trina hurried into the house. Matt jogged out of the petting zoo after her.

With Thor paying attention to Cadence, Bradley grabbed the crop and halter from the hook inside the barn. Moving slowly, he approached Thor. The horse backed up a step.

“Easy boy,” Cadence cooed and stroked the side of his neck. Thor nudged her with his muzzle and moved closer. With her back in control, Bradley didn’t need to get in the way, and just offered her the equipment.

“Don’t need either yet. I’d rather use my hand instead of the crop. He’s not far enough along for the halter.”