Devil’s in the Details (61 page)

I pointed at the keys now in her hand. "I’m not letting you walk away. I am not letting you take the easy, moody way out. I am here, you are stuck with me so man up and deal with it. Because guess what, Victoria, god, I don't even know your middle name, Bancroft? I fucking love you." I tucked my arms back against my body, "I am in this with my whole life and I will risk my life to be with you, but do me one favor, cut the weird cloak and dagger spy talk out. I feel like I’m trapped in a stupid action movie from the eighties. Last I checked, we weren't at war with the Russians."

Victoria looked at the keys in her hand, twirling them as silence fell. I shook my head, grumbling, "Victoria, it's getting cold."

"The Russians are still iffy, but yes, we are no longer at war with them." Victoria's voice trembled as she held up the car keys. "Did you really just throw car keys at me?"

I shrugged, "Yes I did, what are you going to do about it?" I placed my hands on my hips in a challenging manner. "At least it wasn't the mini keys, they weigh a ton and have sharp edges that could take an eye out."

I saw the beginnings of a smirk grace the edge of her mouth, "I should take you home, shouldn’t I?"

"That might be in your best interest right now." I spun on my heel, starting to head back to the side lot where we parked, "We're stopping to get cheesecake on the way home."

When my back was turned, my entire body began shaking as I heard her steps crunch on the gravel. I closed my eyes, hoping I could hold onto the courage until I was able to climb into bed and sleep away this unusual night.

Three steps away, a warm hand clasped around my elbow, stilling me. I glanced to the right, Victoria was standing next to me, shrugging off her pristine white jacket before placing it over my shoulders, smiling softly as she pulled me closer to her warmth. The same warmth that I had grown horribly addicted to over the last week or two. I groaned internally when my body betrayed my mind, leaning against her when she wrapped an arm around my waist.

We walked a few more feet, when I heard, "I've always wanted a dog."

I looked at her, my brow scrunched up, "Excuse me?"

Victoria was looking straight ahead, smiling softly. "Nothing, Alex." She tilted her head down, catching my eyes, "I love you, Alex."

I shivered again, and not from the cold, but from the genuine and intense sincerity Victoria spoke those words. "I love you, Victoria."

"My middle name is Eleanor. Victoria Eleanor Bancroft." Victoria pulled me deeper into her side.

I bit the inside of my mouth, trying not to smile at the very vintage middle name, "Well, then. I love you Victoria Eleanor Bancroft." I paused, "I thought it was Victoria C. Bancroft?"

She laughed lightly, shaking her head, "That was a misprint I never bothered to have revised, gave me a little more privacy." She then looked down at me, "I'm never going to get rid of you, am I?"

"Nope." I tugged the jacket over my arms, "Not even the Russians could pry me away."

"Alex…" I could feel her eyes rolling in the way she said my name.

We walked back to the car in silence. Tonight wasn't the final solution to everything that was a flawed work in progress, but it was a start and that was good enough for me to keep fighting. Victoria was worth it, even if all the weird cloak and dagger crap was real and she was spy. She was worth it. She was my heart.

Awkward silence.

It was becoming Alex and I's song, awkward silence.

It seemed to follow us every time we had a heart to heart of explosive emotions.

The silence was heavy in the car as I drove us home. Alex was huddled up in my white jacket, staring out her window with a boxed cheesecake on her lap. I knew that it was going to take more than a silent drive home to seal up the rift created in the courtyard. I was almost worried what would happen when we got home, I didn't want to ignore or disregard what we hashed out, but at the same time it unnerved me. We ended the heart to heart with smiles and hugs, but as soon as we got into the car and broke off physical contact, the awkward silence found its opportunity and swallowed us whole.

The cloak and dagger crap Alex mentioned, unnerved me. She hit the nail on the head and proved Dani was dead on about Alex. She was smarter than all of the others, probably why the redhead brought it up every chance she could, while discussing the brunette. Hearing her spew out her emotions about us, she was closer to figuring out my secret life. She was getting closer to Voltaire and both were slow burning fuses.

Granted, I didn't help with my verbal vomiting of how my double life would eventually put her in jeopardy, but like they say, in the heat of the moment, truths are spilled.

Looking over at her, the truths were spilled, all of them. I loved Alex so much that it was ridiculous what I would do for her. What I was going to do for her, more after she threw the growing old together on the ground as a challenge. I had no idea I wanted that until it was there barreling my way, spewed from her mouth to hopefully hit my ears and talk some sense into my heart. Regardless of how much we loved each other, in the end I knew I was going to lose Alex, and she was right, if the world was going to end tomorrow, I would want it to end with her in my arms.

Turning back to focus on catching the last turn into the driveway, I decided to break the silence, "I'll take the cheesecake while you head upstairs to change. I made room in the closet for your dress." I cringed at myself, I was being incredibly awkward.

Alex sighed with a smile, "It's still early, I might make some popcorn and close out this Saturday night with a cheesy movie." She glanced at me, her eyes filled with a thousand more things she wanted to ask.

Nodding, I put the car in park, hustling to get out and move to her side to open the door and help her out. I might have fucked up most of the night, but I still had manners. Holding out my hand, I swallowed hard when hers took mine. Alex was always so warm, one of the million things I adored about her. "I think there is some leftover beer in the garage fridge, I can grab it if you want?"

Alex smiled, pulling my jacket tighter over her shoulder, handing the cheesecake over. "Thank you."

She stepped away while I closed and locked the car, turning to stare at her while she unlocked the front door and disappeared inside. When she was out of sight, I felt my shoulders sag, I really ruined this night for her. My whole plan to tell her I loved her as we walked along the back tree line near my office, under the moonlight, failed. I had wanted to ask her to move in with me as soon as Monday morning rolled around.  I would then call her landlord and convince him it was a really good idea to give Alex back the deposit, and then spend the rest of her vacation making room for her in my home, and move her in.

I had to make it up to her, somehow.

After locking the front door, I shuffled to the kitchen, dropping the cheesecake in the fridge and then grabbed the popcorn and red bowl Alex had designated as her popcorn bowl. Setting them to the side, I ran my hands down the stiff polyester skirt, looking up at the sound of Alex's heels scraping across the wooden floors. I suddenly wanted to be out of this uniform. The uniform that always brought me trouble and heartache.

Groaning, I yanked the black tie apart and headed upstairs. I was going to shove this god awful outfit back into the black bag. Tuck it into the depths of my closet to never find my sight until next year's formal. I wanted to grab all of my uniforms and take them to the basement and shove them into a plastic bin. I didn't want that life anymore. I wasn't happy being complacent with the life the uniforms held like I had been for the last few years.

I pushed the bedroom door open, finding Alex sitting on the edge of the bed, still wearing her dress. Her head was bent down, staring at her hands. I paused, "Alex?"

She looked up at me, her eyes very tired and glassy, "Hmm?"

I stepped closer, "Are you okay?"

She nodded slowly, running her hands over the fabric of her skirt. "Yeah, I was just thinking about a few things."

I dropped my hands to my hips, fearing what those things were, "Hopefully they are good things?" I spotted the dinner jacket sitting next to her, I reached for it, "I should hang that up." Picking the white fabric up, I squeezed the ring box in the front pocket. Removing it, I set it down on the side table.

"They are for the most part." Alex half smiled as I looked over my shoulder from the closet, shoving the jacket on a hanger. I raised an eyebrow in question, she shrugged, "My thoughts, they're good things." Her voice trembled slightly, worrying me.

Moving from the closet to stand in front of her, I waited for her to look in my eyes, "Alex, what is it? I can tell something is rattling around in your head."

Alex continued to pick at her skirt, sitting in silence. I finally looked away, the night was over and I didn't want to keep poking Alex. "I'm going to take a shower then go downstairs to the office to put a few things away." I wanted to call Dani or email her. Tear her a new one for inspiring Alex to speak her mind and for mentioning knowing about Alex's ex-boyfriend digging into Voltaire.

Dropping my hands from my waist, I turned towards the bathroom, when Alex's fingers wrapped around my wrist tightly. Startling me.

Alex stood up slowly, holding on, "There is something rattling around my head, something that seems to be heavier than everything else spoken tonight." She stepped closer, "You might be a spy for the Navy, a modern day Jane Bond. You could be someone completely broken and I have yet to find all of the piece’s others chipped out of you along the road. Things that I can deal with, work with, we can work through."

She sighed slowly, her hand moving from my wrist, and up the stiff white fabric of the dress shirt. "Sitting in the car waiting for you to fulfill my stupid request for a raspberry cheesecake, I fell even more in love with you. Then that's when the anvil dropped, a silly thing popped into my head, and the more I thought about it during the ride back. The more it spoke volumes in my heart and body." Her hands moved to the top button of my shirt, pulling away the loose black tie, looking deep into my eyes. "I've never made love to anyone before."

I tilted my head down, moving to reach and cover her hands with mine, "Alex, we've…."

She shook her head, "You have. That first night, you made love to me and what followed was an incredible discovery of a million things within myself."

Alex dropped the tie to the floor, moving for the buttons, slowly undoing each one and letting cool air float in, making me shiver from it and what Alex was sharing with me. "I've never made love to anyone who I was beyond hopelessly in love with. I've never had the chance to or wanted to."

She tugged the shirt free from the top of my skirt, letting it hang open as her hands glide across my stomach and up my sides. "I had romantic high hopes about tonight, most of those hopes came true, but when I sat in the car after our fight, I was worried I blew it."

I closed my eyes at the way her hands moved over my body. Her fingertips grazing my scar and still healing bruise, before moving on to my side, "Alex, you didn't do anything wrong." I opened my eyes to look in determined blue ones, asking me as much as they were telling me what Alex wanted. I swallowed hard, nerves edging in with the slow arousal her hands were building. Sliding my hands over the sides of her face, I bent down and kissed Alex.

Pushing hard against her mouth when I felt fingertips dig into the thin bandage I wore to cover up the ugly yellowing bruise on my side. Her mouth opened wider, our tongues meeting to tease and ask for more. Feeling her teeth graze the tip of my tongue before she nipped at my bottom lip, I parted for air. Holding her face in my hands, I whispered, "I've never done this either." It was the truth, I had never loved anyone like this woman and been in a moment like this. It was truly my first time.

Alex looked up, her eyes wide with her own brand of nerves. "Victoria…"

I shook my head, kissing her softly once more. "Do what you wish to me, I love you, Alex. I trust you." I ran my hand over her shoulders, finding the zipper to her dress, and pulled it down to loosen the garment before stepping back to remove my shirt and work on the wrap.

Alex took the hint and quickly slipped out of her dress, picking it up and tossing it on the chair by the bed. She did the same with her shoes before she came for me. Grabbing my hands to stop them from finishing the removal of my bra, the bandage floating to the floor. She stood before me completely naked, making my very analytical mind focus on the small detail that Alex had not worn any undergarments throughout the night, sending my desire for the woman into overdrive.