Disasterology 101 (12 page)

Cedric tightened his gloved hand over Kevin’s and moaned his next words. “I’ll only be your teacher for a few weeks.”

“You’re also my boss.”

“Not really.” Cedric lifted his other hand and brushed Kevin’s hair with it. “I only design structures. The foreman is your boss, and who’s to say we’ll ever work on the same project? Besides, I try to stay away from the construction sites as much as possible.”

“What? Are they too dirty for His Delicate Highness?”

If looks could kill, Kevin would have surely dropped dead right on the spot.

“Don’t be an arse.”

“I apologize,” he mumbled. He shouldn’t have brought it up. Germaphobia was a serious condition. That was a low blow. “I mean it, man. I—”

Cedric lifted his hand, silently asking Kevin to not say another word. It was obvious he was mortified, but also that he wanted to move on.

“I have no say in the way the company’s run, and I already told you our involvement shouldn’t be an issue at all. You’re going to have to come up with a better excuse than that.”

Kevin couldn’t remember having a similar conversation with anyone. Cedric’s unpredictability was as annoying as it was refreshing. It made Kevin want to strangle the guy. It made him feel fucking alive. It made all his reasons for not getting involved with Cedric sound ridiculous and not matter at all.

He knew there were several other very valid reasons why he shouldn’t even consider this. There
had
to be, but he wanted this guy so damn much he couldn’t think of a single one.

“I want to kiss you again,” Cedric said.

“We can’t.”

“Not now. I’d need to get ready first, but after class.”

He needs to get ready to kiss me… how difficult is this going to be?

“Isn’t the mouth one of the dirtiest parts of the human body?” Kevin asked.

“And so is the anus, but that hasn’t stopped me from being gay.”

“So you just get over your phobia when you want to get laid?”

“I try to work around it.” Cedric cleared his throat, and Kevin sensed him shift his weight from one foot to another. “Like I said. I need you to cooperate.”

Kevin couldn’t resist. He rested his forehead on Cedric’s shoulder and brushed the guy’s long, strong neck with his lips. “You’re so complicated… so young….”

“But not too young.” Kevin felt Cedric swallow hard and tilt his head a little toward Kevin. “Are you free Friday? I’d like to take you out.”

“It’s my weekend with the kids.” Kevin licked the long column of Cedric’s neck. He would never be able to describe how fucking great it felt to taste that creamy, scratchy, slightly salty, one hundred percent masculine skin. It was pure bliss.

“Divorced?” Kevin nodded his response. “How many kids do you have?”

“Three.”

“How about next Tuesday after class?”

“I assaulted you in that sex shop,” Kevin murmured in Cedric’s ear, and didn’t even try to pull back when the taller man sneaked a hand through his messy hair and crushed his pierced lip against Kevin’s.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds and was anything but soft. No tongue. Only bruising lips and gnawing teeth. It didn’t matter to Kevin. But a split second after he started to respond Cedric pulled away and took a couple of steps back.

“And I just assaulted you in my place of work.” Cedric wiped his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. “I’d say we’re even now.”

“It isn’t that simple. I can’t jus—”

“It is.”

“I’m thirty-six years old, Cedric.”

“Your age doesn’t make a difference to me.”

“You’re a germaphobe, and I’m always dirty. That combination has disaster written all over it.”

“I told you. If you cooperate, we can learn how to deal with it.”

“I don’t think—”

“Please.” Cedric glanced at his expensive-looking watch. “We need to get back.”

Kevin would’ve argued some more, but he was transfixed by Cedric’s next actions. He took a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket and applied it all over his gloved hands, his face and his neck, disinfecting every place Kevin had touched.

Kevin should’ve been insulted by it all, but strangely enough, he wasn’t. On the contrary, that Cedric touched and kissed him even though germs were such a threat to him moved something inside him that had been dormant forever.

Shit.

He was painfully hard, and a quick glance was all it took to confirm that Cedric was too.

“Shit,” he said it out loud this time. He couldn’t let anyone see them like that.

“I need to go to the ‘loo now,” Cedric announced. “We’ll talk more after class. Not too long, though. I’ve got to get to my flat on time.”

On time for what
?

Kevin shook his head. He didn’t bother to ask. “I won’t be here, and I hope you don’t have any rules about students leaving the class early one night.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“Write me up, then,” Kevin snapped. “I need to get out of here.”

“Why must you keep running out on me, Kevin?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and savored the beauty that was his name coming out of Cedric’s mouth. It went right to his head. And that’s why he needed to leave.

He’d been clear about things before getting to class. He’d been sure he could handle being around Cedric for the next seven weeks without acting on his desire. Everything had changed the second he saw the guy.

Kevin couldn’t resist Cedric. It was as simple as that.

“I need to think about this.”

“Think about what?”

“Whether I want to get involved with you or not,” Kevin snapped again.

“Looks to me like you already are.”

“Pretty damn confident, aren’t you?” Kevin rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath, letting the cool September air take care of his overheated skin. “But you’re right.”

Cedric opened the roof door and gestured for Kevin to follow him. “If you leave I
will
write you up.” His voice was deep and strong and it echoed in the closed space. “The fact that I want to shag you silly doesn’t give you special privileges.”

Can you shag me right here on the stairs, please?

“Understood.”

They walked into the classroom. Cedric ignored the curious looks the students were throwing their way, but Kevin couldn’t. What were they thinking right now? Had anyone seen them go to the roof? Did they know Kevin had just fondled Professor Haughton-Disley through his designer jeans? Could the students report Cedric for that?

“Tuesday, Kevin,” Cedric whispered. “We’ll talk and get to know each other a little, yes?”

Kevin nodded once, walked to his seat, put his jacket on and dumped his things inside his backpack, all along wishing he could get a handle on his rattled emotions and stay. He couldn’t, though. He needed to put some distance between them so that he could come to terms with this new development, and he needed to do it right away.

He tried to come up with something else to say. He wanted to ask how things were going to work, but words escaped him, and he decided a simple “Later” would have to do.

He turned around.

It was too late.

He was only able to catch a glimpse of Cedric before he walked out the door.

CHAPTER TEN

Cedric hated cognitive behavioral therapy.

He hated discussing his issues in a group of five people.

He hated having to spend time with individuals he didn’t particularly care for.

He hated not being able to straighten out the china and silverware on the surrounding tables.

He hated being forced to keep his gloves in his pocket while he sat in the middle of a crowded restaurant eating and drinking from plates and glasses he’d not washed personally.

He hated that he was forced to leave his hand sanitizer in his backpack.

He hated having so many people chewing, talking and breathing so close to him for one hundred minutes. It was dangerous. One hundred wasn’t a safe number. Thirty was, but for some reason he was forced to endure the torture for a full hundred minutes.

He hated that he was twenty-six and had only recently started to really interact with other people.

He hated feeling exposed.

He hated being prevented from performing the rituals that reduced his anxiety a little.

He hated that he’d done relatively well when they went to the theater a week ago, but that today, he was going out of his mind.

He hated Dr. Black’s often radical treatments, and he especially hated his horrendous taste in restaurants. He understood the need to avoid exclusive places but seriously, the Olive Garden in Times Square was pushing it.

If Cedric hadn’t noticed he’d gained some control over his compulsions since they started taking these road trips three months ago, he would’ve told the good doctor to go boink himself.

But he wasn’t stupid.

He was desperate for some relief from his condition, and being treated by Dr. Black gave him hope that someday he’d be able to achieve some level of normalcy. He wasn’t about to turn his back on progress…no matter how badly he wanted to chop off his own hands because he couldn’t wash them for almost two hours. At least his clothes protected the rest of his body, as he refused to not wear his customary three layers of shirts during their outings.

Cedric put a small piece of bread in his mouth and listened absently to Dr. Black’s conversation with Clare, the one lady in their group with dissociative identity disorder. She’d been Trina, the five-hundred-dollars-an-hour escort while they waited for their table, but going by her comments about the upcoming elections, at some point she’d turned into Marla, the self-righteous Republican campaign manager.

Cedric found her multiple personalities fascinating most of the time, mainly because they made him feel a little better about himself. As much as his condition limited his existence and activities, listening to her talk put things into perspective. Cedric was scared of germs and had a close relationship with the number three, but his mental issues were nothing more than a nuisance compared to Clare’s.

Today though, he was having a hard time concentrating on whatever she was saying. He was too busy trying to come up with ways to keep Kevin Morrison from seeing how much of a freak Cedric really was. If he didn’t, it was very likely Kevin would run in the opposite direction, and Cedric didn’t want that. Not even after finding out the man was divorced and had kids, something that would make going out with Kevin even more complicated.

“Are you okay?”

Cedric realigned his cup of water and his spoon and glanced at Evan Campbell, the 9/11 survivor, an agoraphobic chap he’d become sort of friends with after meeting him at Dr. Black’s office.

“Peachy.”

“You’re twitching.”

Cedric slid his hands along his thighs and glared at Evan. “I certainly am not.”

“That gesture confirmed it.”

“I’m not twitchy.”

“Uh-huh… Is Manhattan getting to you?”

Evan lowered his voice enough to keep their conversation private but not so much that he had to lean toward Cedric in order to be heard. That was Evan Campbell: always conscientious about other people’s boundaries. It was one of the main reasons Cedric liked the chap so much.

“I’m used to Manhattan.” Cedric clenched his jaw and glanced around the restaurant. “I’ve been coming here since I was a child, and it isn’t like I moved here yesterday.”

He needed to believe that. He needed to feel that Manhattan wasn’t as foreign to him as every other place he’d ever visited or lived in, including his home in London. He needed to feel he knew his way around. This was the city where he’d chosen to start anew, and he needed to feel like he belonged.