Read Disasterology 101 Online

Authors: Taylor V. Donovan

Tags: #gay romance

Disasterology 101 (4 page)

BOOK: Disasterology 101
3.58Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads
 

“You need to slow down.”

 

Kevin buried his fingers on those slim hips and pulled the guy forward, silently begging him to fuck his mouth.

 

“Mate—”

 

This was it. The wanting and the satisfaction he’d been missing his entire life. Pussy left him cold, but he’d gladly spend the rest of his life on his knees blowing a cock.

 

He sucked harder and faster. The guy hissed.

 

“Bloody hell.” Kevin resisted the gentle push, but then he was shoved so hard he landed on his ass a few feet away from the guy’s feet. “You’re terrible at this. Were you trying to bite off my cock?”

 

“I’m sorry. I—” Kevin shut his mouth. He really wanted to apologize, but the words wouldn’t come out. He’d never felt so humiliated, and he sounded pathetic right now.

 

Pretty Thug took off the condoms and pulled his briefs then pants up. By the time he buckled his belt, his erection was completely gone. “Maybe we should talk first.” Next he took a small bottle of sanitizer out of his pockets and poured it all over his gloved hands. “Is this your first time doing this?”

 

Kevin didn’t answer. No way was he admitting to it. “Mate?” Kevin looked down and quickly tucked his cock inside his pants. “Will you please get up from the floor? It’s dirty and full of germs.”

 

Kevin couldn’t talk. He’d been so desperate to feel and taste another guy’s spunk that he’d pretty much forced himself on this one. Christ. What the hell was wrong with him?

 

He jumped to his feet and headed for the door. He needed to get away from this place. He needed to get away from the man he’d pretty much molested, and never see him again.

 

“Wait just one moment, please,” he heard the guy say. “Let’s go and have a cuppa. We can discuss things. It doesn’t have to end like this.”

 

No fucking way.

 

Kevin ran down the stairs, completely unaware of the tears sliding down his face.

 

He finally had tangible proof that he’d
always
been gay.

 

And he totally sucked at it.

 

CHAPTER TWO

 

“Kev, open the door!”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
“Come on, man. It’s almost noon.”

 

Almost noon?

 

Kevin glanced at the red numbers of his alarm clock. 11:42 A.M.

 

Shit.

 

He was supposed to be at work hours ago. It was a miracle his father had waited so long to send someone to get him.

 

He pushed the covers to the side and jumped out of bed, wincing at the sharp pain that almost split his head in two. It felt as if someone was smashing it against the wall.

 

“Open the goddamn door already.”

 

Kevin let his older brother in on his way to the bathroom. After relieving his bladder and drinking about five gallons of water directly from the sink, he brushed his teeth and headed to the kitchen to start the coffee.

 

“I called you twenty times. Didn’t you hear the phone?” John asked. “You look like shit.”

 

He
felt
like shit.

 

After running out of the peeping booth the day before, he’d gone straight to the construction site, hoping that work would distract him from what he’d done, but no such luck. His mind kept replaying the entire scene in a continuous loop, and he was incapable of escaping it.

 

He was so distracted by the time he got to Penn Station that he’d boarded the wrong train. His usual fifty-minute commute to New Jersey had turned into a four-hour and several transfers nightmare, but he was still trying to figure out what part of his own behavior bothered him the most when he got in his truck.

 

“What’s the matter with you?”

 

Memories of the previous day assaulted Kevin. He gritted his teeth. There was no way for John to know what had transpired, but he wished for the earth to open up and swallow him. He was both embarrassed and humiliated and doubted he’d ever be able to get over it.

 

Plus, he was still so turned on he didn’t have a clue what the hell he was going to do with his dick.

 

“We have to finish the roof job today,” his brother added. “You’re putting us behind schedule, man.”

 

“Want some coffee?”

 

“What I want is for you to haul ass and get dressed.”

 

“Tell Dad I need to take the rest of the day off.”

 

“What the hell for?”

 

“I have some personal… issues… I need to deal with.”

 

He didn’t look at his brother when he spoke. The events that had both his thoughts and emotions all scrambled were far too recent. He couldn’t risk John noticing anything on his face just yet.

 

“What issues?”

 

“Didn’t I just say it’s personal?” he snapped. Crap. His head hurt like a bitch.

 

John slammed his hands on Kevin’s kitchen countertop. “You can’t take the day off on such short notice.”

 

“Could you please lower your voice?”

 

“We need to finish Meg Henderson’s roof.”

 

“Right now I don’t give a shit about that damned roof.”

 

“We’ll lose money if we don’t finish it on time, so maybe you should give a shit.”

 

“John, please.” Kevin took a couple of aspirin out of the bottle he kept on top of the refrigerator and gulped them down. “I’ve got a headache.”

 

“Of course you do.” John pointed at the empty cans covering his coffee table. They were perfectly aligned. Kevin didn’t remember doing that. “Look at all the beer you had.”

 

Yup.

 

Two six-packs of his favorite brew and still he couldn’t forget how he’d pretty much sexually assaulted a man ….how that man had pushed him away… told him he was terrible at sucking cock….

 

Kevin took two more pills out of the bottle and swallowed them down. He’d been mortified the previous night. He was so ashamed of himself he’d wanted to die, but none of those feelings had helped him talk his dick down. Embarrassment and all, he’d jacked off to thoughts of that guy before passing out.

 

“Why did you have to go and get drunk in the middle of the week anyway?”

 

Why, indeed. He should’ve called someone and vented to them instead of drowning his shame in alcohol. Then again, every person Kevin knew thought he was straight.

 

“Did you forget we had to work?”

 

“How could I?” Kevin poured a cup of coffee and slowly carried it to the couch before addressing his brother again. “That’s about the only thing I do with my life nowadays.”

 

And—sloppily—suck off strangers at seedy sex shops.

 

And wish he could do it again.

 

Kevin sat on the couch then pulled his legs up.

 

“If you hadn’t let Jenny take you to the cleaners when you guys got divorced you wouldn’t have to work a hundred hours a week or—”

 

“She didn’t take me to the cleaners.” Kevin cut him off. They’d had this conversation a thousand times in the past month alone. “It was my decision to let her have the house and a car.”

 

“…live in Aunt Joanie’s basement.” John was obviously not listening to him.

 

Kevin drank some of his coffee and rubbed his head tiredly. “There’s a difference between living in Aunt Joanie’s basement and renting part of her Mother/Daughter house from her. It benefits both of us.”

 

“You should at least have your own place.”

 

“This is my own place. Pretty fucking peaceful too, unless one of my brothers decides to show up.”

 

“You don’t even have a separate entrance.”

 

“She respects my privacy, and that’s good enough for me.”

 

Kevin loved his brothers. He really did, but at forty-eight and forty-six, John and Ben tended to behave more like their father did. The last thing he needed was carbon copies of John Morrison Sr. telling him how to run his life.

 

“We’re worried about you.” Kevin watched his brother take a seat next to him on the couch and got ready for another well-intentioned but completely unnecessary recap of his current situation. “You pay Jenny’s mortgage, car loan and—”

 

“That’s nobody’s business but mine. I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of it.”

 

“It’s just too much, man. Between her mortgage, car loan, child support and your own rent, what money do you have left?”

 

“Jenny and I were married almost fifteen years, John. She’s the mother of my kids.”

 

“All I’m saying is she should get a job.”

 

“She takes care of the kids.”

 

“Are you broke?” That question came out of left field. “Is that why you never go out? If you need me to lend you some cash so that you can… you know… I will. Go out, man. Get laid. You’re still young. You shouldn’t be living like this.”

 

Kevin rolled his eyes and put the cup on the end table. “I don’t want to get laid.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about? Men live to get laid. That’s what we do.”

 

“Not me, bro.”

 

Of course that wasn’t true, but he couldn’t tell his brother the kind of ass he craved had to come attached to a cock and balls and be willing to bend over for him, could he now?

 

A hysterical chuckle escaped him when he tried to imagine what John’s reaction would be if he found out what Kevin had been up to the prior day.

 

Homosexuality wasn’t a subject his family discussed regularly. They didn’t know any openly gay people, so it’d been a non-issue to them, but at one point he’d heard his father say it could probably be fixed, as if the straight genes were only broken or something similarly stupid along those lines.

 

His father was wrong, of course.

 

Although he’d never done anything about it, the truth was Kevin had been attracted to guys for as long as he’d been alive. But he’d done his best to fit in the mold and live up to his parents’ expectations.

 

He’d gotten married. He’d been a husband to a woman that was his best friend but couldn’t awaken his passion. And so he’d concentrated on being a father and given up on romantic love, keeping his deepest desires hidden from the entire world… somehow resisting, not even considering, being with another man until a few months ago.

 

But that was then and this was now. He had no intentions of faking his way through life anymore. He’d made the decision months ago, and it was time he followed through.

 

At some point he’d have to tell his family about himself and convince his father that although homosexuality could certainly be suppressed, it couldn’t be fixed. That he’d personally confirmed that fact after spending a year coming to terms with his reality, and months wanting to go out on dates with other men. He’d have to tell them he’d always been gay.

 

Even though Kevin hadn’t filed for divorce, he knew it was his lack of sexual interest in his wife that had culminated in Jenny deciding they should go their separate ways. He felt terribly guilty over that. Granted he’d performed for years; done what was expected of him as her husband, but he never initiated anything. Not since the early days of their marriage anyway. But Jenny, being the amazing woman she was, had tried her best. He could only imagine what must have gone through her mind whenever her efforts were either barely tolerated or dismissed.

 

At first Kevin was opposed to getting a divorce. He promised Jenny he’d try to be a better husband for her, but Jenny had said she deserved much more than a husband who wasn’t in love with her. He couldn’t argue the fact, and in the end he was happy she hadn’t listened to him. They were better off apart. Now they both had a chance.

 

He worked his ass off so he could provide as much financial security and stability as possible for his three kids. He may not have loved Jenny the way he should have, but his kids meant everything to him. He’d always lived to protect them, and that wasn’t going to change because he also wanted other things for himself.

 

He had a list. It was short, but Kevin knew every item on it would alter his life tremendously. Going back to school was number one. He wanted to grow on a professional level while continuing to be a perfect dad to his kids. And he wanted to explore this
new
side of himself.

BOOK: Disasterology 101
3.58Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Death by Cliché by Defendi, Bob
A Morning for Flamingos by James Lee Burke
The Mogul by Marquis, Michelle
Infamy by Richard Reeves
Blind Spot by Terri Persons
The Morning After by Clements, Sally
Forbidden Knowledge by Stephen R. Donaldson