Disciplined by the Dom (26 page)

She closed her eyes.

“For
Sizzle
.”

That did it. She heard a few gasps, and then the silence slowly became complete, as people in the know or people who were still sober enough to pay attention shushed anyone still chatting innocently. Even people who weren’t in Volare among this crowd would know this was a big deal. Famous people, rich people, people in entertainment and fashion, people in politics—none of them liked hearing the word ‘
Sizzle
.’ Catie was pretty sure a few of them were looking over their shoulders.

“It’s a story I’m never going to write,” she said, her shoulders sinking as she began to relax. It was done. She wasn’t anxious any longer, just sad. And she deserved to be pretty sad. “But I’m afraid someone will probably write it. I just wanted to say how sorry I am, and that all of you deserved much better. I’ve never felt as welcome anywhere—”

Nope. Now she was going to start crying. She had
promised
herself that she would not cry; she had promised herself that she would not make this about her. Nobody ever wants to yell at a crying woman, and they should all feel perfectly free to say whatever they wanted.

“Oh, shit,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “I’m just sorry. Really, really sorry.”

And then Catie forced herself to look up and face what she’d done. She figured she owed them all at least that. If they wanted to demand answers, ask questions, or pelt her with snowballs, she would take it. Or if they had security kick her the hell out, that would work, too.

But it was worse than any of that. It was just silence. She searched the crowd for the faces she recognized, hoping to see something there, some reaction, some emotion. Anything was better than a vacuum. She saw Lola, looking hurt and furious. She saw Roman, who was, incredibly, smiling. The rest was a sea of anger and confusion, of people who alternately hated her and pitied her, just one after the other. Catie thought she felt bad enough. Looking at those faces, she understood she should feel even worse.

But she didn’t see the one face, in the end, who mattered.

She gripped the lectern, not wanting to turn away until she’d seen him, until she’d at least seen, for herself, that he hated her, or was disgusted, or anything really, anything at all except not knowing. But again, she had to face facts: she didn’t deserve to ask anything of him. If he wanted to never see her again, to never be in her presence, to pretend as though she didn’t exist…

Catie started to shake. She was about to lose it.

“Ok,” she said, nodding. “Ok, that was it.”

She turned, about to give the lectern back to a stunned Gwen, when she heard him.

“Hey!”

Catie froze, not quite willing to believe her luck. She still couldn’t see him. The voice came from somewhere in the back of the crowd, where people were starting to clear away.

“Is that lot still up? Lot twenty-three?”

Catie felt the beginnings of a smile. Just the sound of his voice…but it was more than that. The way she could tell he was smiling, just by his tone. The way he sounded like…he was teasing her?

She had wanted, more than anything, to get down and out of the spotlight, to go hide somewhere where she could be alone with her shame and her wretchedness—or whatever it was people were supposed to feel in these situations. She was open to the pillory or the stocks, even. All those angry faces looking out at her had only compounded her guilt, magnifying every instance of shame, making her relive all of her offenses one by one. And even though she felt like she deserved it, that didn’t mean she was strong enough to take it, at least not for very long.

But his voice…

She could stay up there all night now. She would, if he wanted her to.
Just let me see him
.

Gwen gently took the mic and angled it toward her while Catie searched the crowd.

“I think so? Lot twenty-three?” Gwen said. She looked at Catie, then at Roman, then back to Catie. Catie wasn’t even paying attention. “Let’s go with yes on Lot twenty-three. If we have any bidders?”

That was an open question.

“You do.”

Jake stepped out from behind a melting ice sculpture, his hand up in the air. He was smiling. He was looking at her with those dark, shining eyes, and he was
smiling
. Why would he be smiling after what she’d just said? Why would he be putting his hand up in the air? Why—?

“What’s your bid, sir?” Gwen said into the microphone.

Jake walked toward the lectern, his eyes locked on Catie. She was struck by one of those superstitious compulsions again, where she dared not move for fear of jinxing whatever the hell was happening.

He mounted the stone steps, taking Catie in hand, his arm around her waist. She didn’t understand. She didn’t believe this was happening. Even as he leaned in to whisper in her ear, she couldn’t quite believe it.

Not until he said, “Everybody makes mistakes. I still love you.”

“You love me?” Catie said as he brushed a tear off her cheek.

Jake shrugged, still smiling like he’d just made an amazing discovery. “Some things just
are
,” he said. Then he leaned in to the mic. “I bid everything. All of it. Whatever it takes.”

Roman himself started the applause.

epilogue

Catie watched her friend Danny Boylan, recently back from his theatrical tour, try to explain to Eileen Corrigan that stage left was not the direction she thought it was, and smiled. The two of them had shown a strange but strong affinity for each other as soon as they’d both started working to develop a theatrical therapy program for Stephan’s House, and had driven each other happily insane since. Danny didn’t have a great relationship with his family, who weren’t overly thrilled with the gay thing, and it filled Catie with a warm sort of glow to see him get lovingly bullied by Eileen. Families were where you found them, after all.

Catie hugged herself, she was so happy. Jake had rented this theater space on her suggestion, and Danny had been thrilled to get regular work. Jake himself had seemed buoyantly happy in a way Catie almost didn’t understand—he seemed to take unexpected joy in the simplest things. And seeing him happy made her happy. It was this crazy positive reinforcement loop that just didn’t seem to end.

Even most of the members of Volare had been eventually forgiving of Catie’s malfeasance, following Lola’s deliberate lead. Lola had been…incredible. Catie would always be grateful to her for her understanding. She only wished that Lola would show the same empathy towards Roman.

That…was the one thing. The consequences of Roman’s unmasking as Brazzer’s real source were still unfolding, and mostly Roman and Lola were taking the hit. They both seemed miserable. Their pallor was beginning to spread to Volare as a whole, and even casual club members were beginning to feel it.

Which was why Catie
very
much hoped she’d done the right thing.

“So how’s it coming along?” Lola said. She’d come to see the theater space at Catie’s invitation, and brought two hot ciders—Catie’s favorite—as well.

Catie hadn’t mentioned that she’d extended more than one invitation.

“It’s…coming,” Catie said, smiling over the sweet smelling steam as Danny rubbed his eyes dramatically. Eileen laughed and swatted him on the arm.

“Know what they’re doing yet?” Lola grinned.

“They’re going to start with a bunch of Shakespeare,” Catie said. “The comedies. I figured…”

“Of course,” Lola laughed. “Jake will love it.”

Catie hoped so. Jake seemed to have found a new appreciation for the plays and, especially, the sonnets. Catie was in danger of getting lost in thoughts of Jake again when she caught Lola looking at her with that patented Lola concerned look.

“What?” Catie said.

“How goes it with your family?”

“Ah, yeah.” Catie smiled again, this time a little sadly. All the luck in the world couldn’t make some things right, but it certainly made them easier. “Jake and I go out to see Nana on the weekends, and he’s making preparations so we can go out there long term when the time comes. And my dad…” She shrugged.

“I heard he wants to come back?”

“He’s negotiating with the state and the IRS? Somehow? I don’t want to press charges or anything, but you try telling the IRS what to do.”

Lola shuddered. BDSM clubs, even ones like Volare, tended to be wary of government agencies. And the
Sizzle
article had once again raised the specter of public scrutiny by a public that wasn’t always open minded where sex was concerned.

“Hey, speaking of family drama,” Catie said, giving her friend a sidelong look. “You still not speaking to Roman?”

Lola punched her arm gently, and Catie wondered if Eileen-isms were contagious. “Ok, first of all, don’t make it sound so juvenile. I’m
speaking
to him, just not unless I have to. And yes, I’m still extremely pissed off.”

“I probably would be, too, honestly. But I feel like I have to say this: he was kinda right about me, in the end. I mean, I
know
,” she said, at Lola’s look. “I know, not telling you was…ok, I shouldn’t get in the middle. But I feel like I have to be grateful to him for all of it. I might not have Jake if he hadn’t been so…”

“Manipulative? Controlling?”

“Well…yeah.”

Lola sighed. “It’s not his choices that I have a problem with. I might have been completely on board if he’d given me the chance. It’s that he didn’t give
me
the choice. Like my opinion just didn’t…matter.”

“It’s just, you both seem so unhappy. And I owe you both so much, and I want to see you both happy. Sucks.”

“You make it sound like we were dating,” Lola laughed.

Catie just shrugged, and raised an eyebrow. That thought had occurred to her before. Actually, it had occurred to everybody.

And then Catie saw him, over Lola’s shoulder. She had planned to get them both here today, just to make them interact in a non-Volare context, but she hadn’t intended for Roman to be so…glowering. He was definitely glowering.

“Lola,” he said, advancing down the aisle of the theater, “I need to speak with you.”

Catie saw Lola close her eyes, and winced.

“Lola,” he said again, coming up by her elbow. Lola didn’t turn to him.

“You didn’t need to speak to me when you were making decisions that could have affected all of us. I highly, highly doubt that you suddenly need to speak to me now.”

Oh, shit
. This was not what Catie had envisioned. At all.

“I’m just…gonna go…” Catie had never been great at gracefully backing out of anything, and it was pretty hard to tear herself away from this, even as she tried to walk away. Luckily, neither of them paid the least bit of attention.

“Well, you are wrong,” Roman said.

Lola laughed, though she didn’t seem happy, and finally looked at him. “You sure know how to win a girl over, Roman.”

A flash of anger passed over Roman’s face, the first time Catie had seen anything actually get to him. “It is excellent that you think so, Lola. It will make it easier when you are my wife.”

Unfortunately, the theater had excellent acoustics. Roman’s voice carried over a lull in Danny and Eileen’s arguing, and slowly all focus seemed to shift to Roman and Lola, who were still glaring at each other. Lola blinked, and eventually managed to close her mouth.

“Your
what?
” she said.

Catie probably would have stayed right there, frozen to the spot, staring in just as much shock as Lola, if Jake hadn’t grabbed her by the arm and led her back to the office.

“Did you
hear
that?” she said.

Jake shrugged. “It’s Volare business. Something to do with licenses. I am trying to help, but in the meantime…”

“I mean,
holy crap
,” Catie said. “They have to get married?”

“I know,” Jake said, and this time he couldn’t suppress a grin. He had a mischievous side that Catie was just beginning to discover. She loved it. Now he lowered his eyes and said, “I’ll tell you all about. Afterwards.”

“After what?” Catie asked, but she was hoping she knew.

Jake hustled her into the warren-like offices, and shut the door behind him. He looked at her, and stopped. His expression changed, playfulness replaced by that look of disbelieving wonder she was getting to know, and she couldn’t help herself. She darted forward to kiss him.

When they finally separated, he said, “That does not change anything, you know.”

“Oh?”

“No,” he said. “Today is still Friday.”

Catie smiled into his chest. She knew it was Friday. It had given her an opportunity to be deliberately…disobedient.

“And suppose I’m not wearing them…?” she said, her words muffled.

His grip tightened, and Catie felt a now familiar thrill as she heard him chuckle. “Then that means I need to get you home,” he said. “Immediately.”

It was exactly what she wanted to hear.

THE END…

…But Roman and Lola’s story,
Marrying the Master
, is next! Look for it in April 2013, or you can sign up for my new releases list
here
and I’ll send you a link as soon as it comes out. And if you haven’t already, check out the other Club Volare books,
Sold to the Sheikh
and
Tied to the Tycoon
.

Hi! Thank you so much for reading
Disciplined by the Dom.
I hope you enjoyed Jake and Catie’s story, and that it brought you a bit of happiness. If you liked it, feel free to lend it to a friend you think might like it, too. I specifically put my books out without any DRM for just that reason, so g’head. :)

And I’d love to hear your thoughts on
Disciplined by the Dom
! You can connect with me on
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[email protected]
, or
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Goodreads
. I sincerely appreciate every review—I think they help other readers out, and I learn something with every review, too. If you do choose to leave a review, shoot me an email and I’ll add you to my ARC list.